I finally got the other part off my laptop, so here ya are. =D
Living With Jetfire
This one was written after wondering what it would be like if Jetfire hadn't died at the end of Revenge of the Fallen…I brought Jazz back in this one because I figured, "Why not? If Jetfire's still alive, then by Primus, so is Jazz!"
"Is dinner gonna be ready anytime soon?" Jazz asked, tapping his talons against the table while he waited.
"Five more minutes, Jazz," Sideswipe replied. "Stop being so impatient!"
"But I'm hungry now! I haven't eaten all day!" he complained, getting up to stand by the microwave and stare at their food.
"You younglings are so impatient. Five minutes is nothing!" Jetfire started. Everyone in the room groaned, realizing they were about to hear a story. "Why back in my day, we had to walk six miles uphill in bad weather just to find our dinner, and once we did, we had to beat it to death with sticks!"
Optimus gave him a skeptical look. "Sticks?"
"Well, sometimes we used rocks, but it was usually sticks!" Jetfire added. Everyone who was fortunate enough to be near a door (or in Bumblebee's case, a window) quickly left while Jetfire went off into a rather long monologue about how he once had to fight off a wild cyber-bear that had tried to steal his food using only a handful of pebbles, a flashlight, and a roll of duct tape.
Sideswipe looked out the window that Bumblebee had jumped out of while Jetfire continued to go off on a tangent. "You okay?" he called to the ground below.
"I'm fine. My face cushioned the fall," Bumblebee called back. Ratchet pushed Sideswipe aside and looked out to make sure that he was alright.
"So then after I beat that bear into submission, I…uh…" Jetfire started mumbling something incoherent.
"You what?" Ratchet asked.
"Who are you again?" Jetfire asked, completely forgetting what he was talking about.
"Ratchet," he replied.
"No, I'm Jetfire," Jetfire responded, walking away confused.
"Whoo! Food's done!" Jazz said excitedly, popping it out of the microwave. "And I didn't have to fight off any cyber-bears for it, either!"
"Hey you youngling, get off the lawn!" Jetfire screamed out the window at Bumblebee.
It's the Piggy Sickness!
Did you know my friend once cleared a room this way just by sneezing?
"There's no doubt about that signature…there's definitely a Decepticon in the area!" Ratchet said as he scanned the signal further. "It's about two or three blocks away."
"So what are you waiting for?! Let's go get it!" Ironhide said, revving his engine.
"Ironhide, no! There's too many humans around. We'll have to call up the army and request an evacuation of the area," Ratchet protested.
Ironhide sighed. "And how long would that take?"
"Mmm…a few hours."
Ironhide started growling. That would be too long, and by then the Decepticon could have left or hurt someone. So instead, he decided to try a different tactic and screamed out loud, "SWINE FLU!"
Everyone around them started screaming and running around in a panic, grabbing their pets and children and leaping into their cars, then abandoning them during the ensuing traffic jam and just running away on foot. Within fifteen minutes, everyone within a twelve mile radius of where the two Autobots stood had fled from the area.
Ratchet was dumbstruck at the chaos. Ironhide was impressed. "Wow! That worked out better than I expected!" he said excitedly.
"I have never seen a race more paranoid than this one…" Ratchet replied.
This was obviously written around last Christmas. She's lucky she got the Dream Car. My grandma gave my uncle Hot Wheels when he asked for a Mustang…
"Hey, guys," Mikaela said in a bummed out tone when she came in the front door. Sam and Bumblebee's holoform were chilling on the couch, playing Halo 3, and looked up when they sensed her disappointment.
"What's wrong, Mikaela?" Sam asked, pausing the game.
"Well, let's just say that you don't get much more misunderstood than when you wind up holding this after you asked for a car for Christmas," Mikaela replied, holding up a hot pink Barbie Dream Car. "Thanks, Aunt Marquita…" she mumbled.
"That's nothing. Want to know what my grandma sent me?" Sam asked. He reached under the coffee table and pulled out a cardboard box, flipping it over to show her that it was empty. "She forgot to put the present in the box before mailing it."
"She's got Alzheimer's, Sam. She probably doesn't even remember why she's sending the present to begin with," Bumblebee pointed out.
"That's no excuse for forgetting," Sam countered.
Bumblebee and Mikaela exchanged looks. "Is he serious?" Mikaela asked.
"Sadly, I think yes…" Bumblebee replied.
Insert Witty Title Here
Aren't older brothers fun?
"Hey, Mum!" Bumblebee said as he popped his head by the window. Mrs. Witwicky looked up from the piece of toast she was buttering for breakfast to see what he wanted. "Can I borrow the garden hose?"
"Only if you don't tell me what it's for," she replied, tossing a piece of bacon to Mojo.
"Okay…but I get the impression that you'll figure that one out on your own pretty quickly," he replied, walking around the side of the house to retrieve the hose.
Judy began to feel a little uneasy as she wondered what a giant robot would need with a garden hose at six in the morning. Somehow, she doubted he was taking a bath. She watched him walk past the window again, hose in hand, and waited. It was silent…which usually meant something bad was about to happen.
"Hey Sam… Good morning!" Bumblebee called before the sound of cold water blasting from the hose, accompanied by her son's screaming, was heard upstairs.
Sam stormed down the stairs, soaking wet, swearing, and threatening to take a key to Bumblebee's sides, and slammed the back door when he went out to yell at him. Bumblebee was laughing so hard, he couldn't even hear him.
"Those are my boys," she sighed, glancing down at Mojo. The Chihuahua cocked his head at her.
"Hey! Both of you, get off the grass!" Sam's dad yelled out the window.