Title: Extra Credit
Universe: G1
Pairings: Prowl/Jazz mentioned
Warning: HUGE WARNING FOR STICKY - don't like it? please don't read.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, tho I wish I did, just so I could free them again. :D
Summary: Spike gets lost in the vent system of the Ark, and he discovers that what happens behind closed doors is meant to stay behind closed doors.

*Note: this takes place when Spike is still around 14 or 15.

Spike cursed as he staggered to his left, the hand that had been trailing on the wall waving in empty air as yet another unmarked passageway led off to the side. There was little to no light in the vents, his tiny pocket flashlight gave off the only illumination, and he could only use that a little at a time; he didn't want the batteries to run out while he was in here. If only he hadn't taken Sideswipe's bet that he could get from Medbay to the Rec room through the air vents!

Spike had been following this same long stretch of vent for an hour now, and made a quick decision. Why not take this new branch? It might get him a little closer to a main hallway, then he'd get out and stuff a potato up Sideswipe's tailpipe when he wasn't looking.

Maybe two potatoes.

Sighing, Spike took a step into the new hallway - and fell.

"Argh! Damn it!" he gasped. He'd knocked the breath out of himself, probably bruised a couple of ribs and bashed his head and shoulder against the wall when he fell. Looking up, he shone his light to see that he had dropped maybe 10 or 15 feet. No wonder his head hurt! He turned his flashlight to look around and stopped short. There was a grate. Right in front of him. Spike leaned forward and grabbed the metal cover and tried to shove it open; no luck. Were there screws or something holding it in place? Another short flash with the light showed that it had actually been welded in place.

What was this room, that it had that kind of security? And how was he going to get out of here?

Spike sat back down; at least he could see the entire room pretty well, and if someone came in they'd be able to help him for sure. Until then, it had been a long day, and his head hurt a lot. Maybe time for a little nap...


Spike woke to the sound of two familiar voices. Recognizing them, he stood and leaned forwards, about to call out for help when-

A moan broke the silence as Spike watched the visored mech in front of him running his hands over the other's doorwings, then a low chuckle was uttered as those same hands slid lower to smooth across pelvic plating.

Spike's mouth dried up as he realized where he was. Prowl and Jazz's quarters! Oh Lord, and they were-- they were going to-- was that even possible-- how in the world could they--?

Spike shuddered but couldn't look away as he heard a faint click, then Prowl turned around to face Jazz. Good Lord, they even had-- Another click, and Prowl moved into Jazz with a gasp from the saboteur, who murmured something in a low voice. Prowl grinned and reached his hands around to Jazz's aft and slid his fingers--

Ew! Oh, oh man, this was too much. Spike tried moving away, back from the grating, but the passage was so shallow that it didn't matter. He could still see everything. And hear everything. Oh lord. Now they were moving over to the bunk, and while Prowl sat down, Jazz knelt between his legs and--

Gah! Oh man, he was never, ever, ever going to go into these vents again, nope, no way, not even if a Decepticon was chasing him, nut-uh.

Spike turned his back to the room, placed his hands over his ears and tried thinking of his last science experiment, English essays, math problems, anything that would cover up the sounds coming from the room behind him. This worked for a while, then--

"Uhn! Oh yes Prowler, harder!"

Spike bit his lip to hold in a whimper as the sounds got louder, the cries sharper, the grunts deeper, and the wet noises more-- wait. Wet noises? Almost against his will, Spike turned his head. What he saw scarred him for life. Thankfully, his little scream was covered by the sounds of two mechs reaching overload, fluids spurting, dripping, and finally pooling on the metal floor. Spike stared, wide-eyed, hoping it was over so he could get out of here already.

For a few minutes, it seemed he was going to be okay, look, they were getting up, maybe they would leave-- no, okay, now Jazz was pushing Prowl up against the wall, and now he was-- oh man, he was never going to be able to look Jazz in the eye again, not after seeing Jazz do that to Prowl. Prowl evidently liked it though, as he was holding onto Jazz's head and thrusting-- oh lord...

Spike cowered against the side of the vent shaft and stared blankly into the opposite wall as the sounds from the two mechs once again built into a crescendo.

And again and again.

And again.



Spike looked around, not seeing anyone moving in the room, then up. Blue optics stared down at him, and when he turned on the flashlight, Steeljaw was grinning down at him. The golden lion reached down with one paw, allowing Spike to wrap his arms around it, then pulled him to safety.

Steeljaw nudged him to one side of the vent, then indicated he should hold on the the lion's tail. Once Spike did so, Steeljaw started walking. It took a little while, but they were soon out of the vent system and back into the medbay, where Sparkplug and a number of curious mechs had gathered.

"Spike! You okay? Sideswipe finally confessed he'd sent you into the duct system so we asked Blaster to send in 'Jaw." Sideswipe grinned nervously and waved at the young man, carefully dodging a smack to the back of the helm from Ratchet. Sparkplug tilted his son's head up and down a little, passing his hand over the bruises and scrapes. "Ah, you'll be okay. Just a little banged up, is all."

Blaster kneeled down next to the boy, petting Steeljaw in thanks. "Good to have you back, Spike. Where did you end up, anyway?" Spike stiffened in denial as his mind replayed some of the events he'd witnessed, and the mechanoid lion poked his nose at his host's knee. Blaster looked down at his cassette and rebooted his optics with a muffled snicker as Steeljaw relayed to him where he'd found Spike - and what the mechs in the next room had obviously been doing.

"What?" Ratchet strode over to the gathering as Spike looked up (and noticed for the first time that he was looking up at the medic's protruding crotch), and whimpered.

Oh lord, how was he going to face Jazz or Prowl again, especially after he'd seen them doing... those things to each other! Did this mean that they all did.. those things? Sideswipe, Ratchet, Ironhide, heck, PRIME? Even little Bumblebee? Surely not Bumblebee...

Blaster grinned down at the small human. "Somehow I don't think you should be writing a paper about this latest adventure, Spike. Or maybe you should - don't you kids have sex-ed classes in school now?"

Sparkplug blinked in shock and stared at Blaster, frowning. "Say what?"

Blaster snickered again and stood.

"Seems Spike here witnessed Prowl and Jazz demonstrating just how little 'bots are made."

The mechs gathered in the room seemed to find that quite amusing, and a few even started laughing as Spike continued to whimper and stare at the floor. Even his own father seemed a little amused, although he at least tried to hide his grin.

"Hey Spike!" Sideswipe shouted, grinning from audio to audio. "Does this get me out of trouble if you get extra credit for the report?"

This time the warrior wasn't fast enough to dodge the descending wrench.

Note: In case you hadn't noticed, this _is_ chapter one... meaning that there are more chapters in the works. Look for more mental scarring and begging for brain bleach in the future!