I don't own Death Note. This started out with a point in my mind, but I think it might've strayed from my original plan... well, you win some, you loose some!
Mello knew that he wasn't going to survive his final act and he knew that he wasn't going to win from the second he decided it. The only thing that he could do was make sure that Kira was taken down, he could only build the foundation for Near's victory.
Mello had been locked up in his room for days. He would only come out for meals and bathroom breaks, and he didn't say a word to me during those brief moments we saw each other. It was completely obvious that he was still lost in thought, planning something.
We knew that Near would be meeting with Kira in a few days; Mello had to make his move fast. We had to make our move fast.
Mello was a genius, second only to Near. He could put any variable into an equation and find the result. That was what he was doing; trying to figure out the variable that equalled his victory. Our victory.
Then he came out with a victorious look on his face, but it was a hollow kind of victorious look.
"Matt," he said to me, an emotion I didn't recognize leaking into his voice. "I have a plan."
"Really!" I jumped in excitement. I thought that he had a plan for his victory! For our victory!
He looked to the ground. "Matt," he repeated my name again, and I began to recognize the hopeless tone he was using, an emotion that was foreign on the determined genius's face. "Matt," he almost sobbed, and his knees began to tremble. He sat down on the couch and put his hands onto his face.
I sat down beside him. "C'mon Mello," I had consoled him, "what's the plan? How are we gonna steal the victory out of Near's reach."
Mello closed his eyes. "Matt, Near's plan can't work. I looked over all the variables, everything!" he paused for a long time, and I wondered if he was going to allow Near to die before taking down Kira himself. "Matt, I'm going to have to die."
I can't really put into words the emotion that I felt. It was almost as if my entire world had come crashing down upon me, and there was a mix of despair. Mello had been my most important person.
"But," I chocked out, "you'll beat Near, right? For once?"
"No," he replied, and now all the emotion was gone, pushed back behind a mask of unfeeling. "No, Matt, I'm not."
I stood up straight in anger, and I can barely recall what I had yelled at him. I know I must've called him any names, and told him that this was stupid and I wouldn't go along with it. Then I fell to the ground and began to cry.
I'd never cried before in my life.
"Matt," he said for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "Matt, I'm sorry. This is the only thing that will take down Kira."
"It was never about taking down Kira!" I half-yelled from my position on the floor. My voice then dropped to barely a whisper, "It was always about beating Near."
"Matt, I'm sorry. This is the way it's going to have to be."
"No," I cried out, "it's not! There's got to be some other way!"
"No. There's not." It hit me like a ton of bricks. Mello couldn't die! Near couldn't win! This wasn't how it was supposed to happen!
And worst of all, Mello would never build Near a foundation for his own victory.
The days passed like blurs, slurring into each other in our preps for the kidnapping. There was some sort of rhythm to our work, and my brain was feeding me denial.
But as I stepped into the red car I knew exactly what was going on. The goodbyes were half-hearted. We both knew that Mello was going to die, but only one of us knew that I would too. I couldn't live on an Earth without Mello.
I'm stepping out of the vehicle with the guns pointed at me. I know what's going to happen. They're all going to shoot me. I don't know if Mello is still alive or if he's been killed yet, but I know that I'll be seeing him soon.
"Since when were the Japanese allowed to carry such big guns?"
And everything went exactly as planned.