Authors note- I came up with this story a good year ago, but never got to it. The rough draft was peculiar...the funny parts weren't that funny, the story was a tad depressing, and Xemnas' point of view of what was going on made me fear pregnancies. But in the end, It's all up to you, the readers.
Warning- The following story conatins controversial stuff. The story conatins mpreg, male pregnancy. The story also mentions abortion. If you are super pro-life of choice...then please, for the love of all that is good, do not make a big deal about what I'm writing. You may express your opinions in the form of a review, but do not flame me with speeches of immorality. Thank you.
Conception- The begining of the plot
Journal entry 456;
The meeting did not go well. As usual; number VIII decides to make a joke of what should have been a serious matter. Threats no longer seem to matter anymore. Number IX, XI, XII, and XIII eventually join in his antics. Meeting was ended early.
It's early in the morning, and as usual, I'm not exhausted. At all. This is the fourth night I have suffered insomnia. If not dealt with soon…
I sighed as I finished writing the last few sentences. I shouldn't have to be going through this; as leader of Organization I was sure I deserved much more respect than what I was getting. I should not have to be telling a man slightly younger than me to keep his opinions to himself, to please be quiet and listen, or to stop touching Number XIII inappropriately. No, this just not should be happening.
I close the small book and decide to leave my office. The night was almost over and I hadn't had an hour of sleep yet. Not that I could sleep; I was far too stressed out with so many duties…and the immaturity of my subordinates did not help one bit. In a normal situation, I probably ask Number II for aid, unfortunately for he'd rather spend the day shooting helpless victims than help lead the Organization. So, for the most part, I was left working till the break of dawn, or in some cases, till midday.
Closing the door, I feel a sick feeling boiling over me. Much to my despise, another meeting would be held, and although I had no major part in it, I feel sick. This had become routine now…
I know it could be worse. I could suffer greatly from all sorts of things, I could have no respect at all, and I could be alone without an army. Yes, there much harsher tragedy's than the ones I was suffering now. Insomnia and stress could not possibly be my downfall…
Something much greater could.
"…and so," Zexion said, which brought many of the members sighing in great relief as this meant that Zexion was almost over with his long, dreadful speech; "If you give me back My MCR Cd's before the end of the day, I swear I will not…"
Xemnas sank into his seat. He could not believe this was the life he was currently leading. This was just not funny. The meeting was over stupid, stolen Cd's. Xemnas was beginning to wonder, if this was even an organization. Organizations are supposed to be strong and organized….a meeting about stolen Cd's made him begin to think that there was just something wrong.
"…so, I'm expecting, whoever stole them, to be mature here, after all, I really like this band," Zexion said while brushing some of his sleet hair away from his face. He looked around the meeting room, his eyes meeting with others, trying to spot a guilty look. He could not find one. Zexion sighed and turned to Xemnas, who looked like he was about to die at any moment. "That's all," he said sourly.
Xemnas nodded his head. "Thank you Number VI."
Xemnas looked about the room, and sighed again.
"Does anyone have anything else they would like to comment on," he asked in a very unenthusiastic voice. His way of hinting that the meeting must surely end now, and if you dare speak up there will be serious consequences.
But despite this hint, a hand was raised high in the air. There came a few groans when this happened, as one could suspect. And to make matters even worse, the hand belong to Xion.
"Nobody takes me seriously," Xion complained, having the nerve to interrupt her powerful leader. And, as if to prove this, a few snickers came soon after she made the comment.
Xemnas sighed. He was going to have to say a long, boring speech; the stupid "respect others and treat them the way you would want to be treated" speech. And he was going to have to say it for Xion's sake, something he really didn't care for.
This was going to be a long day…
The meeting did not end, to my misfortune, for another hour. It made sense, a room full of childish nobodies, who for the most part, could care less for Number XIV, would only drag this meeting out. She had one purpose (emergency fallback), and for the most part, she was utterly useless.
But this was not my say. I could say these things, to her face if I wanted to, and I could get away with it as well. But what would that make me?
Them…that's what it would make me. And just the thought of comparing myself to those foolish miscreants made me feel like vomiting. I would never become one of them, I was far too high up the ladder; to fall from such heights would have a disastrous effect.
I hear something behind; the sound of a dark portal opening. I continue to stare out the huge window that showed me the dark city below.
"You wanted to see me?" It was a voice I recognized.
I turned around. Instantly, I felt that feeling of hopelessness and smile. Yes, I can smile. The Nobody who had entered, as if you already didn't know, was Saix. Number VII in the organization. He was one of my most powerful subordinates, as well as one of the Nobodies I respected the most. In some way I saw him as an equal, in others I see him as something that should hover above me. It was a bit odd, and to some extent, frightening. But that was what love was supposed be, not that I could love.
"You've arrived," I said in surprise. And I meant it too. I was always surprised when he answered my calls for him. My need.
"Of course," Saix replied. He walked over, his boots hardly making a sound, and as he did, offered his hand, beckoning me to come closer. And I come, I always do. I take a few steps and walk over to meet up with the Luna Diviner, and as soon as we meet, we kiss.
No, I know I do not love him. What I'm feeling…if I'm really feeling to begin with, are just simple memories that told me what I should feel. This is not real. The lust; perhaps, but the love; no.
We pull apart and I face him with the slightest hint of excitement. I can easily predict what will happen next. I know what will happen simply because this has happened before. And like me, Saix also lusted for me, perhaps even more than I lusted for him.
"Don't you have work to do," he asks me. He has a real look of concern on his face, much different from his usual stoic expression.
"It can wait," I tell him, even though it really couldn't. I really don't care right now, which may seem a bit out of character, but there was a reason behind this.
The World That Never Was had a moon, a moon that always showed itself, never disappearing and reappearing. This was so Saix could always gain extra energy if needed. But like any other moon, it had its gravitational pull, and to an extent, it revolved. This made tonight rather important as the moon was much closer to this dreary planet. Tonight, Saix would naturally double in power, he would be much more aggressive, he'll want me more than he would normally, and he'll dominate me…
And I was absolutely fine with this.
"Well, then," Saix said in his normal voice. In about fifteen minutes, his personality would drastically change. And I could hardly wait.
"Come with me," I beckoned, grabbing hold of his hand. I couldn't wait to get into my room, were we would be alone and safe from intruding eyes. Not even my office was a sanctuary; many of the members would just barge in and disturb my piece. What little secrets I had I planned to keep. Saix was one of them. No one yet knew what was going on between us. It was still a secret, a wonderful at that.
Saix follow me, and the look of excitement begins to glow in his yellow eyes. The moon is moving closer…much closer than I thought.
I would soon realize my timing was off by a good 2 minutes, because as we walked into my quarters, Saix grabs me and drags me into the bed and hastily begins to undress me
"Ahh, god Saix," Xemnas moaned as Saix thrusted hard into his entrance. Xemnas felt his legs being spread by rough hands, making it just a tad easier for Saix to move. But it was still going to be rather painful experience, especially without lube and preparation. But Xemnas didn't mind. He enjoyed being tortured like this.
Xemnas gasped as Saix hit that spot deep inside him, causing him to jerk forward in a very inappropriate fashion. But this didn't stop Saix, nor did it worry him the least. Tonight he had no control over what would happen to his Superior. All that really mattered was doing Xemnas over and over until he tired out. And Saix wouldn't tire out for awhile (about 5 hours if the moon has a rotation similar to ours). And if Xemnas came, good for him…because Saix's hands sure as hell wouldn't be satisfying him, Saix had a good grip on Xemnas, and he wouldn't let go even if his life depended on it.
Xemnas winced in pain as he felt those sharp nails dig into his thighs. He wondered what kind of face Saix was making; he wondered if he was satisfying enough for his Luna Diviner? It was hard to tell during nights like these…Saix had a habit of doing Xemnas in that obscene position…
Xemnas felt his erection burn in agony, completely ignored by him and Saix. The only real stimulation Xemnas was getting was from Saix's thrust, and not all of them were hitting that sensitive spot. Xemnas gave a weak moan as he attempted to pleasure himself with his own hand he felt his face redden with embarrassment. If any of the members saw him now…they'd either die of laughter or feel absolute pity for him.
Saix moaned loudly, his voice lower and darker than usual, and he came deep inside Xemnas. Xemnas whimpered as he felt Saix dig his nails tears his skin, there would be some serious bruises on him tomorrow… And Saix collapsed on top Xemnas, and began to kiss him gently on the neck. Xemnas felt a bit of relief as he felt those soft cool kisses touch his hot sweaty body, but it would only last for maybe a few minutes, and Saix would be up and ready for some more…
And then Saix was, in fact up again, his energy renewed. He grabbed hold of Xemnas, his grip tight as ever, and instantly began to thrust his already erect manhood back and forth. Xemnas at his time noticed something a tad odd. Saix had never left his body, and now, as he did, he realized how unusually hot the semen was inside him. He could feel burning his insides as Saix moved it around. To a certain extent it made things even more uncomfortable, but at the same time…
…he "loved" it.
On that particular night I managed to achieve orgasm three times. Saix tripled this. And when morning soon hit our world, Saix stopped using me and soon fell asleep in my bed, barely bothering to remove his organ from me. I didn't sleep a minute; I was far too sore and alert to achieve sleep. I spent most of that night simply staring at him, marveling at his lovely form, his colorful hair, and soft lips. When he woke up, he was back to his usual self, and what had occurred the night before didn't seemed to faze him one bit. He could remember my moans and my tears and my begging for him to just slow down a bit, but when he made eye contact with me he really didn't seem care about any of it. To him, it was his body naturally reacting to his element…and if I retained any injuries then it was my problem. I chose to take the risks, so it would be my burden to bear…
I also agreed with. Yes, I'm sure if I had a heart I'd feel a bit hurt or confused by this notion, but I do not. I am a Nobody. Eventually Saix leaves and I forget about what had happened to me. I was all remnant of the night; sweat, semen, and blood, and I continue to work diligently on all missions.
And so time went on and everything went to normal. Saix and I act as we should in public; a Superior and a subordinate, never showing a sign or hint that there is more between. A few times during a week, we meet up with one another. We may show small amounts of affection, we may show more, but for the most part we just spend time with the other. No sex, no touching, not even talking occurred when this happened….we'd just be together.
I find it odd that I have the urge to want to be near him. I should have no urges at all. But something inside me tells me that if I sway too far, I'll forget more and more about those emotions. This is something that I cannot help but fear. And I wonder if he fears the same, if he too wants to be near me for the same reason.
But this is not important; what's important is that I do my duties as the Superior and attempt to complete kingdom hearts.
And so, for the next month I work harder than what I should have. I tolerate Axel and I do my best to get the job done without help from Xigbar. I assign mission after mission and I right long journal entries that looks more and more like a depressed teenager's diary. I hardly sleep and when I do, it's only because I asked Saix to come, only after claiming him does my body give in to exhaustion. And I continue this unhealthy lifestyle for the sake of my kind.
This is the life I live…and it would never change…
"Look, whoever stole my AFI Cd's better return them to me right now," Zexion demanded. Once again, someone had stolen his precious music- only the gods knows why-and had purposely made it clear in the form of a letter.
Everyone in the meeting room waited for Zexion to finish yet another long and dreadful speech about how he paid and took good care of his property and blah blah blah…but it really made no difference, after all, Zexion had his awful music stolen from him every month. This wasn't new to say the least.
Zexion finished and sat back down. Everyone gave a sigh of relief and waited for Xemnas to say the wonderful words meeting adjourned. But, to their surprise, Xemnas didn't say anything. All eyes soon lay upon Xemnas, who looked rather peculiar this morning. He was hunched over; sitting lazily in his seat, his head was buried in his arms as if he were asleep.
"Hey," Xigbar said. He leaned over to Xemnas' seat. "Hey…you awake in there?"
Xemnas slowly lifted up his head and stared at Xigbar with a very uncomfortable look all over his face. Anyone close enough to see Xemnas' sick expression could tell there was something wrong, all except Xigbar.
"Looks like somebody didn't get there recommended eight hours," Xigbar said in a cheery voice.
"Uhm, Number II," Xaldin said cautiously, "I believe there may be something wrong with Number I."
"Nonsense," Xigbar beamed, "he's just a little tired is all."
Xigbar leaned closer to Xemnas (a terrible mistake).
"Hey," Xigbar said. "Call this meeting to order." Xigbar whispered quietly into Xemnas' ear; "I got some Cd's to burn, man, and not in the recording kind of way."
Xemnas slowly nodded his head. He had felt a bit odd earlier in the morning, but he assumed nothing of it. He felt just awful now, his stomach churning with a sour feeling.
Xemnas stood up, determined to end the blasted meeting so that he could rest and try to improve on his deteriorating health. But he didn't get very far…
Xemnas quickly covered his mouth; his eyes had that look of horror that told anyone close enough to him to back away now. Xemnas hunched over, no longer in control of his stomachs actions, and he threw up. Yes, he threw up…in front of everyone…during a meeting…in broad daylight…
All mouths dropped in shock and disgust. Everyone either got up from their seats to find out what was going on or to get the hell out of the room. There were a few concerned comments, as well as a few chuckles. Everyone except Xigbar; who was still sitting in his seat, was up and saying something about what had just occurred.
Luckily, a good portion of the…stuff landed on Xigbar's lap, which meant there was little to clean. Xigbar didn't think this was such a good thing…but that really didn't matter.
Xaldin immediately took over, as he was the only highest ranking nobody who seemed capable of proper function, and told everyone except Number I-V to leave. The other members were only so happy to oblige.
"Number IV," Xaldin ordered. "Please escort Number I to the infirmary. If anything happens on the way, tell me at once…but only after attending to Xemnas."
Vexen stared nervously at his sickened Superior. God help him and the journey he was bout to take.
"Number V," Xaldin said, his eyes landing on a rather nervous Lexaeus. Xaldin sighed. "What I'm about to ask you….is rather difficult…could you please…?"
Xaldin didn't even need to finish the sentence. Lexaeus got the drill; he was to clean up the mess. The look of excitement for this chore was all over his face…in the form of a sick scowl.
"…and Number II," Xaldin said, "….I told you so."
"Yeah, whatever," Xigbar said while pinching his nose. He glanced at Lexaeus with a desperate look in his eye. "Please…hurry…"
I was rather surprised to find out that none of the over-the-counter pills were working. I'd take one, a few minutes would pass and Vexen and I would relax…only for me to throw up again. Luckily, we were in the bathroom, so no mess was made. After a good twenty minutes of me lying pathetically on the bathroom floor, vexen decided to drag me over to a small bed. I watched, not feeling the slightest amount of fear, as he began to draw blood from me, trying to find out what exactly was wrong with me. Soon after that, he attached an IV to my arm.
"This should work," he said with the utmost determination.
"Will it," I ask. I was sick to my stomach and extremely desperate for relief.
"Definitely, this should take away the nausea…but it's rather strong…"
"I don't care," I said to Vexen. I had enough problems already, one more really didn't matter.
Vexen nodded his head slowly and walked off to the lab.
I sat patiently on the bed and my body quickly reacted to the medication. I soon feel tired, a huge surprise for me, and after that, my stomach settles. I think about what happened at the meeting. I knew there was no way Number VIII would ever let that go. I can already predict him harassing me about hits. I sigh. I decided to lie down on the uncomfortable bed. I stare at the ceiling, and a hint of fear awakens in me. Why did this happen?
The IV drips more of the medication into my system, and I soon begin to relax. I keep on staring at the ceiling, still wondering over what happened, until finally I close my eyes. For the first time in a few days I rest, and for the first time in a week; I fall asleep.
"Hey Xemnas," a voice yelled into my ear.
I open my and groan. Without the slightest warning, I grab Xigbar by the collar and pull him to me. Oh, he was going to get it…
"Whoa, whoa, whoa; easy there," Xigbar said nervously. "You don't wanna hurt the kid, do you?"
"And what exactly is that supposed to mean," I said rhetorically. I really didn't care what excuse he had right now, I was in a bad mood.
"Xigbar," Xaldin growls. I glance over and spot him in the corner of the room. He is not alone either; Zexion and Vexen are standing next to him. I notice the rather peculiar looks on all three of their faces. What's going on…?
"Awe, come on Xaldy," Xigbar whined, "I think I deserve to tell him…considering he blew chunks all over me and all…" (Ugh…that was awful)
"What's going on," I demanded.
"Well…," Vexen's voice drifted off.
Lexaeus walked into the room, holding a few pages of what looked liked charts or graphs. The look in his face is grim and dark. I'm sure it has something to do with me, no; I'm positive. Lexaeus sighs as he hands the papers to Vexen. Vexen looks at Lexaeus doubtfully and begins to flip through the paper. The look on his face begins to look more and more negative.
"Same results," he mutters.
"What are you talking about," I ask rather impatiently. "What exactly is going on here?"
"Xemnas," Vexen said, his face solemn with doubt. "You have to understand…well; this isn't going to make much sense…"
Xemnas went quiet. Could it be that I was nearing my end? I had always questioned the life span of a nobody…we didn't physically age and beginning the scientist I once was made me wonder such a thing. But it made sense, if I was truly nearing the end of my physical being, that it would come in such form. And I accepted this. But then, what exactly did Xigbar mean by that comment?
"…and after the five of us came with the same results…well, the hypothesis was no longer a hypothesis. I mean, you're hormones just don't drop that low in a day, things like this happen over a period," vexen said. He stared sympathetically at me. "Now…I have no real theory as to why this is happening, but you don't have to worry…."
Just get on with it, I think. Just tell me that I'm-
"….worry because we'll have it removed by the end of the month; by that time we'll be able to correctly locate it."
"…what, remove it," I said, confused. "Do I have some sort of internal growth?"
"You could say that," Xigbar said with a smile across his face.
I gave Xigbar a dirty look and returned my attention bake to Vexen.
Vexen sighed, "Look Xemnas, I'm not quite sure how to say this-"
"-so I'll say it for him; Xemnas, you're pregnant!" Xigbar said in the most cheery voice you could possibly imagine. Despite this, I only felt worse.
Xemnas stared at the many sheets of paper, disbelieving every word, number, and sign that was on it. He looked for a margin of error, a mistake in the level ratings, he stared hard at the charts, but it was no use… all of the conclusions ended up the same. He threw aside Zexion's report and grabbed Xaldin's. But no sooner did he go through the pages did he come across the same number and statistic.
"Xemnas," Lexaeus pleaded, "please, this is the third time you've gone through…"
"No," Xemnas said, flipping through the sheets, "you've made a mistake. This conclusion is wrong…"
"Honestly," Xigbar said rolling his eyes, "Why bother going through this? You'll have an abortion-"
"No I will not," Xemnas said aggressively, "I will not have an abortion because I am incapable of having one…."
Xigbar sighed and walked off to god know where. Xemnas flipped through the last of the sheets and sighed, He couldn't any mistakes….he couldn't find anything.
Xemnas threw the paper to the floor. There had to be some sort of explanation. He was male…a male mammal to be exact. He was incapable of holding and bearing children, it wasn't something that he should be able to do. Xemnas stared at the pile of paper below him. There must be some sort of…
"Xemnas," Zexion said, "you should relax."
Xemnas bit his lip. How could such an anomaly occur? He lacked the organs to bear children, which alone should make this whole thing impossible…
Xemnas held his breath and attempted to calm down. This shouldn't even matter, he thought to himself. Why bother going through all these reports? They were all wrong; He knew it. He couldn't be expecting…He simply couldn't be.
"I've got a theory," Xaldin said. Everyone, including Xemnas, turned to Number III and waited for him to tell. "You know Darwinism, right? Certain species evolve in order to survive in their ever changing surrounding."
"You think Xemnas evolved," Xigbar said, raising an eyebrow. "That's stupid, man. Evolution takes years and years; Xemnas is first generation, it's impossible."
"Well, I'd like to see you come up with something better," Xaldin mocked back.
"Be quiet," Xemnas ordered. He refused to listen to such a conversation.
Vexen walked in with a dusty book in his hand. He had been gone for a while. He walked over to the group of nobodies.
"I bought this…just in case Larxene ever showed signs," vexen said as he began to remove the dust away from the book.
"As if anyone would bang her," Xigbar muttered.
"Anyway," Vexen said, "Xemnas, I would like to ask you a few questions, if you don't mind."
"I mind," Xemnas said.
"Xemnas don't be an ass," Xigbar said. "Besides, you're not pregnant…therefore none of this should be a big deal." Xigbar, of course was being sarcastic.
Xemnas scowled and reluctantly nodded his head.
"Ok then," vexen said, flipping through the first few pages. "Let's see…you're defiantly showing signs of "morning sickness"…"
"Or I could just be sick," Xemnas said.
"You're in denial…," Vexen said while reading through the book.
"That's a sign," Zexion asked in astonishment.
"Do you have any headaches," Vexen finally asked.
"I alwayshave headaches," Xemnas answered.
"Are you feeling tired," Vexen asked again.
"I alwaysfeel tired," Xemnas said. And to add to his defense, "If you recall, I'm suffering from chronic insomnia."
"Yes…," Vexen said, rolling his eyes. "How about you're back? How does it feel?"
Xemnas pondered for a moment. "Well, I guess its ok…"
"Any back pains?"
"A bit," Xemnas answered, "…why?"
"No reason," Vexen replied. He flipped through ha few more pages and then closed the book. He backed away from Xemnas. "Well, considering your answers and the fact that a few of the symptoms would not affect you (such as lactation or missed period), I can come to the conclusion…"
Xemnas sank to his seat.
"You're probably pregnant," Vexen concluded.
Xemnas shook his head, trying his best to not believe the words.
"Xemnas," you're showing signs of pregnancy," vexen said.
"It's not like you're going to have it," Zexion added.
"Nobody outside this room will ever know," Xaldin said with a positive look on his face.
"And we'll look through until we can find an explanation," Xigbar said.
"You don't understand," Xemnas said, his head slowly lowering.
"You're a nobody," Lexaeus said, "we are no longer human. Surely you can understand that something that would normally be impossible…"
"Shut up," Xemnas said.
"Xemnas," Zexion said, "seriously, you need to just accept this and relax. It will end as soon as it's big enough to find…" (Since it's definitely not in the uterus…)
"Just wait," Vexen said.
A long week went by, and as it did I felt my idea about the impossibility of being preganant slowly fade.
I knew it was possible, but I simply refused to believe it. I knew, staring at the many sheets of numbers, words, and statistics that it was truly conceivable, pun not intended by all means. But why me, of all the nobodies to pick from? I had so much to lose from this. Even if it was kept a secret, my five subordinates would always remember. I will remember, and I will be known as the one who had gotten pregnant. None of the female members had gotten themselves into this mess; what will I look like to them if they knew?
And then there was Saix. My subordinates never asked, but I'm sure they were curious, after all; it takes two to make a child. Unless I was producing asexually, then Saix was the father of the child…no, the fetus. This thing inside of me, if there was a thing inside of me, was not a child. It was a nobody…an incomplete being. And like me, it would be incapable of true emotion. I supposed this would make it even less of a nobody…because at least I had memories. The creature inside me didn't. It would know nothing of love and hate. It would just…exist…and nobodies do not truly exist….
I bury my head into the pillow and sigh. I'm tired, so very tired, but once again I could not sleep. And to make it worse, I was cramping. I could feel my lower abdomen tighten in pain. But I refuse to believe that the reason this is happening because I was pregnant. No, there were so many other explinations.
I take a deep breath as I feel a weak contraction in my lower abdomen.
"No," I whisper into the pillow. I could literally feel my constitution breaking away slowly.
I wince in pain again, closing my eyes as the sharp pain slowly began to subside. This was a symptom of being pregnant, I thought as I buried my face even deeper. My body was in pain because things were moving around…stretching slowly to make room for the…
I got up from my bed. There was no point in trying to go to sleep. I would not fall asleep, despite being very exhausted; my mind was far too deep in thought.
I walked out of the bedroom and left my quarters. I walk down the many dark hall of the Castle that Never Was as I hurry to my destination; my office.
Journal entry 478;
There is nothing I can do anymore. This is real. I should just accept the thought and feel grateful that it was detected before I began showing. But how could this happen? Such a thing defies nature. I know if it were someone else I would be more curious and interested in such a thing, but because it is me I cannot help but fear. Yes; I am afraid.
I don't know what to do…
Please review, it would mean the world to me. If you review, I will update this horrible story. For those who are wondering, this story gets pretty damn depressing, it will be awhile before everything turns out all right. But that will only make the happy ending even more happy...at least in my world it does. if you have any suggestion, please tell as I am unaware of which direction to go (yep, I am thinking about a sad ending, but if you really want a happy ending, then I'll rewrite the storyline. You mean that much to me).