TITLE: Permanent Heartbreak
CHARACTERS: Bo Ventimiglia, Jimmy Eisenberg, Brooke Anapau, Zacari Quinto mentions others
PAIRINGS: One-sided Bo/Jimmy, Jimmy/Brooke, past Bo/Brooke, Bo/OMC (Zacari)
NOTES: I've been meaning to write stories about Bo for like four years. Back when I fell in love with this movie, though, I was a horrible writer. Now I'm better and feel like writing it again.
DISCLAIMER: Bo, Jimmy, Brooke, and any others are not mine, nor do I claim they are. Zacari is based off of Zachary Quinto, and belongs to me.
Bo Ventimiglia was kicking himself for what he had done. Coming out of the closet. Admitting, finally, that he was a gay man. He had done it under the pretenses that Jimmy Eisenberg, his current crush, was actually a homosexual as well. But it hadn't gone down that way. Jimmy was straight, as straight as they come, and now he was dating Bo's ex-girlfriend.
Bo sighed and pressed his face further into the pillow. He couldn't figure out how to fix things now. He was friends with the boy he and his friends had been making fun of for four years, all of high school, and that boy was now with his girlfriend. How would they react when Brooke and Jimmy began spreading the news that Bo, the captain of the wrestling team, the most eligible man at school, was actually gay? His friends wouldn't hang out with him anymore, that was for damn sure. He would most likely be ousted socially. Kicked off the team he had worked so hard to captain. And he would definitely not be getting a date to prom.
Bo just wanted to fit in. That's all he had ever wanted. He wanted people to like him, to want to be his friends, to be everyone's hero. He wanted to be popular. And he had screwed all of that up in one night. One night of finally knowing what he wanted. And he couldn't even steal a kiss, of all things!
There was his mother's voice. She sounded worried, her frantic knocks on the door were enough to tell the teenager that.
"Bo, please open the door! I want to talk to you!"
Bo, knowing he would regret this moment in about a minute, grudgingly opened the door a crack. "Mom, I really don't want to talk about anything right now. I really kind of just want to be alone."
"Bo, please, I'm your mother." Ruth Ventimiglia was a short, blond woman, with large brown eyes. Her manicured hand set itself on the door, as if she was going to push it open. "Sweetheart, you know you can tell me anything. What happened tonight? Where did you go? What happened to your nose?"
Bo sighed and continued to keep the door only part of the way open. "Mom, please. I don't want to talk about it." He knew how she would react to her only child being gay. She was Catholic. She would throw him out. "I'm just not in a good mood."
"Did you go see Brooke?" Ruth asked in a hushed voice. Her hand still hadn't left the door.
Bo hesitated at that. His mom loved Brooke. She saw her as her daughter-in-law already. How could he tell her that Brooke and he had broken up? "Yeah." He finally choked out. He knew he sounded tearful. Not over Brooke and he, though. He was definitely going to stay friends with her. No, over her being with the one boy he was in love with. "We, uh, we…broke up." His voice was strained.
"Broke up?!" Ruth squeaked. "You two broke up?! Why?"
Bo swallowed hard and looked away from his mother's eyes. "We just…I don't know, we weren't feeling like…She fell in love with my friend Jimmy." 'And so did I…' He added silently to himself. Why was she making this so hard? "Mom, it's really no big deal, we're all staying friends. Brooke said she'll still come hang out and stuff, and she'll bring Jimmy with her." Oh, please, God, let her bring Jimmy with her. Just seeing him puts a smile on my face, even if he's not mine.
Ruth sighed and took a step back from the door. "Bo, you know I love you and I want you to be happy, always. If anything else happened, please tell me, okay? You have school tomorrow, too. Are you ready to face everyone? You can stay home, if you like."
That sounded like a great idea. Bo weighed the options in his mind. If he stayed home, he wouldn't have to deal with the questions that he was sure everyone would ask about him and Brooke. He wouldn't have to tell everyone that Jimmy and Brooke were telling the truth, that he was gay. But, that thought stopped him. He wouldn't get to see Jimmy. He wouldn't be there to hang out with him and Brooke. He would be missing out on seeing the boy he loved. "Nah." He gave his mom a tight smile. "I'll go."
Ruth gave him a pointed look, as if she was trying to read his mind. Bo could feel a sweat breaking out on his forehead in fear that she knew what was going through his head. But then she smiled. "Okay, honey. Get some rest today, huh? Just sleep as long as you can. It'll make you feel better for tomorrow. And don't let anyone make up lies about you and Brooke breaking up. They're just jealous of you." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "I love you, Bo."
Bo forced a smile on to his face. "I love you, too, Mom." He closed the door when he finally saw her retreat down the hallway to her own room. With a sigh, he collapsed against the firm wood. "I wish you could understand."
The very next day, Bo couldn't believe that he was back at school. He felt like everyone was staring at him. He continued to walk with his head down, unwilling to meet the eyes of any of his peers. Just the thought that they knew that he was gay scared him. He was not ready for that to be spread to the people he had known since he was five.
At lunch, he joined Jimmy and Brooke at the table. The can of soda in his hand shook when he tried to pop the top. "I'm quitting the team." He stated sadly. "I can't be the captain of the wrestling team if they all know I'm gay." His dark eyes were focused on the hard plastic top of the table. A heavy hand on his shoulder startled him. He slowly looked up and into Jimmy's beautiful eyes. He had to bite his lip to remind himself that he should not kiss the boy.
"Bo, you can't do that. You worked so hard to be the captain. You're the best!" Jimmy gushed, glancing to Brooke to back him up. "Just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't wrestle."
"Yeah, Bo." Brooke added, one hand snaking out to hold the dark haired boy's. "You're the captain. They can't kick you off. Liking boys has nothing to do with talent."
Bo sighed, feeling even more tearful for some reason. "But it does. The other guys won't wrestle me now, because they'll think I'm trying to get in their pants. I can't stay on the team after this. They'll eat me alive." He paused for a moment. "And not in a good way." He sighed and took a deep swig of the soda. "It doesn't matter what I did anymore. There's no way I can be the wrestling captain when all they talk about is how much I must enjoy rubbing against the other guys."
Jimmy and Brooke exchanged worried glances with each other. "Bo, don't think like that." Jimmy started, throwing his arm around the dark haired boy's shoulder. "No one's going to be that mean, they've been your friends for ever."
It was then that three boys, all in varsity jackets with bulging muscles, walked behind the threesome. One of them elbowed Bo in the back, sending him almost face-first into the table while another coughed 'faggot' into a closed fist. The other turned and began to laugh. "Hey, Bo, at practice today, can you try not to pull down your shorts and ask us to fuck you? We're not into that." He pantomimed holding a body by the hips as he air-thrusted into his hands. The three jocks began to laugh wildly at their own joke.
Bo turned his eyes to Jimmy, clearly thinking 'I told you so.' "I better go to class." The wrestling captain sighed and threw his trash into a garbage can at the end of the table. "Thanks anyway." With that, he squared his shoulders and walked back into the building.
Bo was dreading his last class of the day, weight lifting. He did it to keep in shape for wrestling, the sport that he was planning to quit. This class was full of the other wrestlers. He changed hurriedly in the locker room, before any of the other students showed up, and found himself in the weight room almost five minutes before class officially started. He began to warm up, sitting on the floor with his legs stretched out on either side of him. He bent towards first one, and then the other, making sure that he felt a pull in his muscles before releasing himself from the stretch. He cocked one arm behind his head. The dark haired boy grabbed his own elbow and pulled down, listening to the satisfying pop that his shoulder made. He repeated the gesture on the other arm. A tap on his shoulder startled him. "Wha?!" He cried, turning.
Another dark haired boy stood behind him. He was taller than Bo by at least four inches. His body was thin, but muscular. His hair was semi-long, the ends brushing the back collar of his shirt. His eyebrows were thick over his dark eyes. "Hey, sorry. You're, uh, you're Bo, right? The captain of the wrestling team?" His voice was smooth like silk, and his hands fidgeted at his sides. "I was, uh, I was just transferred here and I wanted to try out for the team." He blushed at Bo's intent gaze.
Bo took a moment to register the words of the boy. He shook his head when he realized he was staring. "Sorry, uh, yeah, I'm Bo." He reached out a hand to shake. The other boy reciprocated the gesture. A bolt of electricity ran down his arm at the simple gesture. "And you are?"
"Zacari. Zacari Quinto." Zacari grinned happily at the acceptance. "Call me Zac." He glanced over his shoulder when wrestlers, many of them, began to file into the room. "Oh, so this is the, uh, weight lifting class?"
"Yeah." Bo replied, moving to stand near the door. He couldn't help the shiver that ran through him when Zacari followed. "Coach is our teacher. Only wrestlers take the end of the day weight lifting class. You have a schedule yet?"
"No, just signed up a little bit ago." Zacari blushed. "I mentioned that I wanted to wrestle and the office told me to find you. They said you're my 'go-to guy'." He glanced around the room. "Whoa, these guys seem kinda big, huh?"
"Nah, they're a bunch of pussies." Bo whispered back. "Don't let them know that I said that, though. They don't like me very much."
"Why not?" Zacari asked, genuinely amused by the statement. "You're the captain."
"It's a long story…" Bo didn't get to continue his speech before one of his ex-friends, Craven, or Crue, as he liked to be called, stepped up behind him and began to massage his buttocks through his shorts. Bo moaned reluctantly at the very pleasurable feeling. "P-Please…don't…"
"Ooh, hear how the little fag is moaning for me? He wants me to make him my bitch. Don't you, Bo? You'd like that." Crue hissed into Bo's ear as he began to reach for the waistband of his shorts. "You want this."
"Crue…" Bo whimpered, grabbing at the other boy's wrists. "Please, stop. Please."
The whole time, Crue's two flunkies, J.D. and Brodi, stood behind him, laughing. But suddenly, they fell silent.
Bo opened one eye slowly. He hadn't realized that he'd closed them in fear of being hurt. The first thing he saw was Zacari's angry face, narrowed eyes seeming to burn into Crue's head. The next was the way the other teen's hands gripped Crue's wrists so tightly that his knuckles turned white.
"If you weren't listening, the boy nicely asked you to stop. Either you listen, or you will be hurt. Now, why don't you go back to your work out machines before I decide to break your wrists." Zacari said in an even tone as he pushed the wrestler's hands back towards his body. "You're lucky I didn't do that immediately."
Crue glared at the taller boy as he backed away. "Let's go, boys. Looks like these two are in the middle of a little date. Keep it off the team, fags!" He turned and moved to the other side of the room as the coach walked in.
Bo raised his eyes to Zacari slowly, swallowing. "Uh, thanks. Thanks for helping me out back there."
"Why did he do that to you?" Zacari asked in a serious, low voice. "Bo, you could get him on sexual harassment there." The taller boy placed a warm hand on Bo's shoulder. "Now I'm gonna worry about you all the time."
Bo felt a flush rise to his cheeks. "He has good reason…"
"What could be a good reason to humiliate you in front of someone?"
Bo sighed and turned to the weight machines. He began to lift as he contemplated his answer. "I don't really feel comfortable telling you right now…" He felt tears sting his eyes and damned his emotional reactions. "Maybe another time, though?"
Zacari moved to face Bo once more, looking as though he were ready to argue before rethinking himself and smiling. "Okay. Another time. Need a spotter?" He put his hands under the dumbbell that Bo was lifting.
"Thanks." Bo smiled, though he was decidedly over-excited. He had been so seemingly-disowned by his own friends to the point where he thought no one would want to talk to him anymore. "Thanks a bunch."
"No problem." Zacari grinned back. "Hey, think you could maybe train me a little bit in wrestling? You know, so I can succeed in tryouts?"
Bo couldn't help the way his smile stretched even wider at the prospect. Zacari wanted to see him outside of class. He wasn't ousting him. But he still didn't know that Bo was gay. "Yeah, sure. Come to my house after school today, there's no practice and we can just hang out. My basement is full of wrestling pads." He chuckled. "It'll be fun. I'll drive you."
Zacari smiled back. "Sounds good. Can't wait."
They fell into a comfortable silence. Bo couldn't seem to stop his excitement at having a boy, a cute, crush-worthy boy, over at his house to practice wrestling moves on. He had to remember to reel himself in, though. He didn't know if Zacari was even in to boys. But by the time class was over, Bo had begun to think…
Maybe his heartbreak wasn't so permanent.