A/N: wow am such a slacker. Sorry!! Well anyway, here's CHAPTER TWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Wish wasn't so predictable.

Will work on predictability.

Next time will go somewhere else.

Monday 14th July

Thank God there's only today and then four more days of school left, because we aren't doing anything.

Actually no, I take that back. As am grounded for the foreseeable future, I will have absolutely nothing to do in the holidays apart from watch the dog vomit up my favourite CDs and DVDs. Oh my life is so tragic, and not in a starving, poverty-filled way.

6.00 PM

Shocking news!!! Mum and Dad are going away, leaving James with the Cleggs, and me with Scarlet!!!!!!!!!!!

You may be asking, "well how did this happen?" as it is so un-Janet Riley. Well here is sequence of events from yesterday:

Janet Riley storms into the Stones' house demanding Rachel Riley removes herself from the premises.

Janet Riley takes Rachel Riley home and gives James strict instructions to supervise Rachel Riley's cleaning.

Janet Riley drives back to the Stones' insisting she speak with Suzy Stone about permitting Rachel Riley's irresponsibility.

Suzy Stone asks Janet Riley if her hysteria is due to sex withdrawal.

Janet Riley tells Suzy Stone of course it isn't, how could she be so stupid?

Suzy Stone takes Janet Riley into her counselling room and somehow gets Janet Riley to confess all about her sex life, or lack of one.

Janet Riley comes home enlightened to sex (or temporarily hypnotised by Suzy) and books (online – but not without the gloves and helmet) the sex retreat in India that Suzy and Bob went to a few years back.

Did not want to ask why she wanted me at Scarlet's and not the Cleggs' like James, because did not want her to change her mind.

A/N: Okay, I'm really really really really really really really sorry that this is so unbelievably short. I just really want to give you a chapter because I am such a slacker. So I'm sorry. And if I get lots of nice reviews I promise to make the next chapter at least 2000 words.