Title: For the Sake of Brother's Boobs!
Author: alchemistofbing
Genre: Humor and crack
Characters/Pairings: South Korea, South Italy, and China; mentions of other nations briefly; main pairing is South Korea/South Italy, South Korea/China's boobs
Summary: A dare from China pushes South Korea into depths he truly never went before… but can Romano stop his mission to boob grab every nation in its tracks with his tsundere ferocity? After all… it did involve his boobs, too. Watch as these two nations battle each other out without looking like two idiots!
Warnings: profanity and lots of boobs and boob grabbing
A/N: For Lupi's rare pairing problemo :D

Part I

It was a beautiful day today.

Windy, slightly sunny, yet grey – the perfect weather for quieting the common whirlwind of angry profanities and rage within his mind.

People would think that Romano wasn't the type of guy who would appreciate beautiful weather and beauty in general, but the peaceful atmosphere and the scent of the lush, green countryside surrounding him was too perfect an opportunity to graze his mind upon the softer pleasures of life. He was just lounging on the grass, hands behind his head – it was a rare image indeed, Romano himself would admit. In all honesty, he was never quiet unless there was nothing to be loud about, and the trees swaying by the breeze calmed hi—

Wait. Did someone's head disappear under a bush 'round the corner of his eye?


Yes, the gentle swaying of the trees. There was a vineyard field spread out that could be seen from on top of the hill he was resting upon, giving him a perfect panoramic view, and the playful winds a sweet scent of lush grapes, ready to be harvested for springtime. And Romano… and Romano… he…

And someone was stalking him.

The presence was like a slight tickle on his nose. Irritating but faint. He could have sworn he heard someone say something inaudible.

"What the fuck~ ?" Romano sat up from his comfortable spot and leaned forward, trying to spy a very unwanted (and most probably perverted) somebody who might have been hiding behind one of those bushes or trees with their hand above their happy place. He grunted, mistaking it as paranoia… thanks to Spain's constant stalking activities which usually involved a very creepy grin, a tomato suit, and a GPS tracker that he did not want to think about right now, thank you.

So far so good.

Yong Soo, or who we mostly know as the nation of South Korea, has a very important mission to do.

He crouched lower from his position behind a thick bush and grinned. His suspicious prey deceived thanks to his top notch stalking prowess despite the slight hitch with that damn caterpillar crawling down the collar of his hanbok. Now if Romano just stood up from his lying position again, he might get an easier chance to grab his boobs.


Believe it or not, dear audience, Yong Soo was not just doing this for the sake of taking a chance with Romano's boobs.

A few hours ago – during an incestuous scenario played well almost everyday – Wang Yao, or China, had enough of Yong Soo's constant affection for his chest area, and, out of sheer temporary brilliance, had given his younger brother a little dare.

Yong Soo had never been interested in fulfilling dares, preferring instead to save his head for another day. Dares were also childish to be taken too seriously of, especially when it came from China's own cynical mouth-aru, but Yao had been serious this time. And Yong Soo took it without hesitation because it had involved his brother's wondrous, amazing, delicious, and perfectly perfect boobs.

Yao had told him, with words clear cut as glass, that if he managed to grab all the nations' boobs, only then could he own his. Boobs, that is. No tricks. So Yong Soo only did what any respected boob fan would do: he had written a grope list with all the nations' names on it, down from England to Denmark.

The first one on his list was Japan. An easy prey to be honest, not much of a challenge. The second was a bit difficult since it was America, but the other nation simply laughed, petted his head and offered him a hamburger before going on his merry way. The third one on his list was South Italy.

Now that, he had thought, that's going to be a teensy bit difficult…


Yong Soo crawled at the backdrop of the hill's pinnacle where the trees were most prominent and hid behind a trunk. He waited for a minute, drumming his fingers against the tree thoughtfully before he inched his way, tree by tree, to hide behind Romano's resting place. The prey had just crossed his legs, clamped hands resting on his abdomen… but he still seemed at perfect ease. Yes. So far so good.

Romano was humming something unintelligible, too, occasionally letting out words like 'jerkface', 'I love tomatoes', and 'stupid Spain' between each rhythm. Yong Soo paused to listen for a moment, almost humming out himself, but he shook his head and squared his shoulders. Concentrate.

He must concentrate.

China's wondrous, amazing, delicious, and perfect boobs were at stake here and he cannot afford to put his guard down.

Yong Soo got ready for the kill – or boob grabbing, whichever one was more dramatic – opting to jump out and press his palms against Romano's chest while he was lying down slack. Yong Soo jumped out with a vicious warcry (Booooobs!!!) with his palms at the appropriate boob grabbing position, but before he got even an inch of Romano's boobs, something very wet and squelchy hit his face. What felt (and smelled) like tomato pulp dripped down his neck lazily.

Romano's hand was still pressed against the middle of Yong Soon's face, tomato juice dribbling down his hand and his fingers white, attempting to squeeze his head like a rotten tomato for intruding on his peace. The shorter man growled: "What the fuck do you think you're DOING?"

Yong Soon flexed an index finger up and paused. "May I ask permission to grab your boobs?" he gave another beat of silence over Romano's inhuman snarl, "Um… please?"

Before he knew it, he felt his body spiral into an arch overhead before a splitting headache tore itself against his noggin. After banishing the wooziness from the well-performed tomato counterattack, he gradually realized that he was lying down on what felt like grass and dirt – his body aching like hell. Even if Romano was shorter than Yong Soo, it seemed that he was still capable of defending himself as long as he had the upper hand (and as long his opponent was more of an idiot than him).


Romano tromped away, cussing at the beautiful clouds, weather, and scenery as he went off to find somewhere else, preferably a desert, to relax.

The other felled nation sighed and went back to the drawing board.

Yong Soo was definitely not going to give up.

Because China's boobs would be his.


R&R please! :D