Author Notes: Now that reveals are up, figured it'd be okay to post this up here. Written for sometimeshatter at LJ for the SasuNaru Exchange (where there are a TON of fantastic entries, both fics and art, that everyone should go check out at sn_exchangelj, btw). This was my first official boysmut fic, though my xxxHOLiC smut got posted up before this. I was afraid I hadn't done it too well, since I procrastinated doing this until two or three days right before the first deadline, but I was reassured by many that it turned out better than I'd predicted, which is very good news! Also, I tossed some Iruka/Anko into this because I couldn't help it. It was going to have a Kakashi/Sakura sidestory, but that kind of started to take over, so I'm instead turning that into a spin-off/sequel. So look out for that!

Pairings or Characters: Naruto/Sasuke, Sakura, minor Iruka/Anko
Warnings:
boysexing, and Naruto cries, if that bothers some people
Word Count:
4533
Summary:
Naruto, being slightly dense, jumps to conclusions.


Counting

Three weeks after Sasuke had finally been nagged, bribed and bullied into moving in with Naruto, the apartment had been destroyed five times -- kindly rebuilt by an easily-swayed Yamato soon after -- Sasuke had threatened to move out two hundred and seventeen times, they had argued a hundred and thirteen times, and they had refused to speak to each other ninety six times. However, out of all these alarmingly high numbers, they had kissed only four times, and slept together exactly zero times. Sasuke was even adamant about having his own futon, even though they shared a room.

Naruto was not entirely sure what this meant, as before Sasuke moved in, they used to kiss and have sex all the time. Being slightly dense, he was unable to solve this particular riddle himself. And being as slightly dense as he was, he also tried asking others for their opinions on the matter.


Sakura spat her drink back out when he asked her over lunch, and then shouted at him for asking inappropriate questions and turned various shades of pink out of what he assumed was anger, but was probably a mix of rage and embarrassment. When he mentioned that he forgot his wallet and couldn't pay for the meal, she threw him through the lingerie store's window across the street. He landed in the thong section before being chased out by one of the cashiers wielding a broom.

Kakashi expertly tricked him into paying for his groceries and avoided the whole issue all together. By the time Naruto realized that his question hadn't been answered at all, the space beside him was empty.

Iruka had the most helpful reaction. Except, at first all he did was splutter and gawk, having not been informed prior to Naruto's questions that his old student was in love, having sex -- and cohabiting, sorta -- with a man. Not that it hadn't been obvious, or that Iruka didn't approve, or that it was really all that surprising to most everyone else. But both Naruto and Iruka had been quite busy, and their weekly ramen chats had become more like every-two-or-three-monthly chats, and Sasuke had threatened him with death that he not discuss their situation with anyone back when they'd first started their whatever-it-was. Naruto always reasoned it was because he was shy, but after about the hundredth time Ino asked them about their sex life, he'd given up on keeping it secret. But Iruka still hadn't been told up until this point, so it took him a good five minutes before he could calm down.

"... Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked, slightly alarmed as his old teacher suddenly went silent.

"I think... I think this is a matter you should discuss with him," Iruka said after a while, suddenly sounding very tired.

"But he won't talk about it! Like, ever!" Naruto pouted.

"Well... I-I may know someone you can talk to," he said, voice low. He waved a finger, indicating that he wanted Naruto to come closer. Iruka then whispered Anko's name into Naruto's ear before pulling away, face suddenly very red.

"Thanks Iruka-sensei!" he replied brightly, but a frown appeared as a thought crossed his mind. "But I don't know where to find Anko. Do you Iruka-sensei?"

"NoofcoursenotwhywouldyouthinkIknowwheresheis?" Iruka said in a rush, face turning an even deeper shade of red, before turning around and flying out of view. Thoroughly confused, but not discouraged, Naruto decided the best place to figure out where Anko was would probably be Ino, because Ino knew a lot about other people.


"Hey Ino, d'you know where I can find Anko?" Naruto asked, ignoring the customers who had been waiting patiently in line as he leaned over the counter to pester her. She glared at him before turning back to the first customer and putting on a smile.

"How may I help you, sir?"

"Uh," the man started, looking warily between her and Naruto.

"You can ignore him," she reassured.

"Hey!" Naruto protested, "I'm just asking a question! Just tell me where she is and I'll leave!"

"Ugh, fine! Every night at nine she goes to the bar in the downtown district and stays out until about two. Now get out of my shop," she barked, pointing angrily at the door. Keeping to his word, he made like a banana and split before she could prove why she and Sakura were so alike.

However, upon skedaddling, he realized that there were close to twenty different bars downtown and that Ino had not given him a specific name.

"Damn it," he grumbled.

He would have to check each bar he came across, hoping to stumble upon Anko. But for now, he had to head home for dinner with Sasuke.

"... Damn it," he repeated.


Naruto did not know his way around the kitchen, despite having lived alone for going on seventeen years, so Sasuke always made dinner. Tonight's meal was tonkatsu, and after Sasuke placed it on the table, they both began to eat in silence. Normally, Naruto was the first one to break the silence -- lately, it had been to ask about their sex life, which would prompt his dinner mate to stop eating, either glare or punch him in the face, and then head off to bed early. But tonight Naruto was intent on keeping his lips sealed, lest he spill his plans of investigating, so Sasuke was the first to speak.

"Oi, idiot."

Naruto took another bite of his beef.

"Hey, moron."

Naruto took a sip of his tea.

"Look at me, dumbass."

Naruto meekly peeked up at Sasuke across the table.

"Why are you so quiet?" the Uchiha glared.

"Uh, no reason," he lied, quite obviously. But Sasuke hated doing all the talking and left it at that.

Glancing at the clock over Sasuke's shoulder, Naruto noted that he had half an hour before he could search the bars for Anko. Sasuke spotted his eyes darting between the clock and his plate, but said nothing. He knew it would come out of Naruto eventually.

And just as he suspected, as they were cleaning the dishes, Naruto told him some lie about doing an errand for Ino downtown and he didn't know how long it would take.

"You're lying."

"N-No I'm not, you asshole!" he shouted, waving his arms about frantically.

"Yes you are. It's obvious."

"Shut up, no I'm not! I'm leaving. You can do the dishes yourself, bastard!" he growled before storming out, leaving Sasuke to quietly stare at the door.


That first night, Naruto had little luck finding Anko. It was close to one in the morning when he finally gave up, trudged home and slipped into his bed, falling asleep soon after without realizing that he had woken Sasuke. He tried asking Ino again to be more specific, but she was unhelpful as ever, so he stopped bothering with her fairly quickly. He tried asking Iruka, too, but he would turn scarlet and flee before Naruto could pull a decent answer out of him. Over the next few nights, he continued to search the downtown district's various bars and clubs for Anko, coming up with some sorry excuse during dinner for Sasuke and returning late at night, much to Sasuke's irritation.

Nearly a week later, after checking about six bars that night, Naruto finally spotted Anko, flirting heavily with a man who looked a little terrified as she draped herself across his side. He let out a happy sigh as he strolled towards her, hoping the answer to his predicament would arise during a chat with her.

"Uh, Anko?" Naruto asked awkwardly as he came up to their table. She blinked up at him, narrowing her eyes as she struggled to recognize him before a large, drunken smile spread across her face.

"Naruto! Howya doin', kiddo? Pop a squat!" she grinned, shoving the terrified man out of the booth -- which he looked quite thankful for as he quickly strode away -- and patting the space beside her. Obediently, Naruto sat down where she indicated.

"Hey, um, Iruka-sens--"

"Iruka! That cute bastard. What about 'im?"

"He suggested I, uh, ask you for advice. About something."

"Then ask away," she purred, draping an arm across his shoulders which he awkwardly removed before continuing.

"Sasuke won't have sex with me anymore," he told her bluntly. She blinked at him before letting out a laugh.

"So you need tips on techniques, eh?" she chuckled. "Then you've come to the right woman! Oh, but first, ya gotta let me know how kinky you guys get. 'Cause I've got some real nice suggestions if you guys are feeling daring--"

"NO Anko! T-That's not it," he finally managed to choke out, his face a deep red.

"Oh. Boooooring," she drawled, taking another sip of her beer.

"... It's not that. He just won't. He won't even share a bed. Not that we did before or anything, but that was kinda the whole reason I wanted him to move in!" he admitted quietly, eyes lowering to his lap. She stared at him quietly for a while, finally letting out a sigh before finishing her drink and placing the empty bottle on the table before her.

"So ya wanted to be, like, a couple?"

He nodded slowly, his ears and cheeks burning.

"Does he know that?"

His eyes snapped up to meet hers, a panic settling in his chest as realization crept up on him.

"By the looks of it, he doesn't, huh? Have ya seen him with anyone else? Maybe he's not having sex with you 'cause he's already getting it somewhere else."

"... I knew it!" he suddenly exclaimed, as if the conclusion he'd plucked out of the air had actually been in the back of his mind the whole time. "I knew it. Oh shit. Anko, Anko, what do I--" he tried to ask, but she was already gone. If he hadn't been hyperventilating with his growing panic, he may have seen what looked to be his old teacher taking her to the men's restroom, but in his state all he could think of was finding Sakura. She was one of the few people Sasuke occasionally interacted with without either being frightened away or pissed off real bad. He had always been pretty sure he was the closest person to Sasuke -- or at least, he had been up until tonight -- but Sakura was probably the next closest. She would know what to do, he told himself as he stumbled quickly out of the bar.


"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan!" Naruto cried, pounding relentlessly on her front door. He hadn't been keeping track of time while searching for Anko, so when Sakura answered the door looking quite terrifyingly furious and asking him if he knew what time it was, it took him a while to realize that it might be a little late to be calling on his friend. "I'm sorry Sakura-chan, but I really need to talk to you! I-It's about Sasuke," he finished quietly, his voice catching when the name escaped his lips. She raised an eyebrow before running a tired hand over her face.

"Look, I told you before. I don't -- and I mean, really, really do not -- want to know about your sex life. Ino probably wouldn't mind hearing about it, though. She's always been nosy," she sighed.

"No, no. I think-- I think he may be seeing someone else!"

That caught her attention. She blinked owlishly before deciding it would be best to just invite him in and try and wake herself up with some tea, even though she had work later that day and it was close to two in the morning.

Taking a sip of her recently-poured tea, she sat beside Naruto on her large sofa and rubbed his shoulder gently.

"Okay, Naruto. I don't know what your official title is, but Sasuke is a monogamous guy as far as I'm aware. If you're dating, or at least, uh... fucking regularly, I imagine he's satisfied. Plus, can you think of anyone in all of Konoha besides you that's willing to put up with him?" she added with a comforting smile. But he seemed to grow more solemn at her words.

"But that's just it. We aren't doing anything anymore, he never said we were going out. I think he's done with me and just using my place because I wouldn't shut up. Sakura-chan, who is he going out with now? It couldn't be someone like Sai, right? I mean, I know Sai's probably gay, but Sasuke's always hated him, so he wouldn't just, like, spontaneously start going out with him, right? But then again, I really have no idea what Sasuke's type is. I don't even know if he has one. Shit, maybe I'm not his type. Maybe that's why--" he continued to ramble, the words unable to stop themselves as his thoughts poured out of him. He was terrified that he had messed something up, that Sasuke had already left him, and no amount of reassuring words and gentle strokes of Sakura's soft hand over his own could calm him down.

Before he knew it, tears were falling out of him just as fast as his bumbling words, which were largely incoherent by this point. Sakura could pick out the occasional, "Sasuke," "oh shit, oh shit," and "it better not be Kiba," between his sobs as she wrapped her arms around him and let him cry.

"I'm sure that's not it," she told him as his blabbering ceased and all that was left were tears and shaking shoulders. "I'm sure there's a perfectly decent explanation to all this. You're just jumping to conclusions. You know, I'll bet you Sasuke's thinking about you right now."

Naruto pulled out of her arms to look up at her, face red and tear-stained with some snot dripping from his nose which he hastily wiped away with his sleeve.

"You... You think so?" he asked hesitantly, his voice low and rough from his crying. Sakura couldn't stifle her giggling at the innocent face.

"Well of course. I'd be pretty pissed if my boyfriend -- or, uh, whatever," she amended hastily, "was still out at three am without me. And knowing you, he's sure to be wondering what kind of trouble you've gotten into that's kept you out so late. But you know how he is. He'll never admit out loud that's he worried. All you get is that scary look he's always wearing." She chuckled, trying to imitate their old teammate's regular scowl. Her attempt made Naruto laugh for a little bit, but they fell back into silence and new tears welled up. Sakura took him back in her arms and was about to ask him again what was wrong when her door was blown off its hinges and sent flying into her kitchen.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?" she shouted, murder in her eyes before a familiar face stepped in through the empty doorway. "Oh, it's just you. Haven't I told you to knock?"

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, pointedly ignoring Sakura and staring down at the blond, whose face was still incredibly red as tears streamed down his face. He sniffled loudly, rubbing his already dirtied sleeve against his nose.

"Why should I tell you?" Naruto replied quietly. Even wracked with worry, obviously distraught and sobbing unmannishly, his pride still refused to let him say what he should have.

"We're going home. Now," Sasuke demanded, stomping forward and grabbing Naruto by the collar. He shoved Sasuke off of him, but before he could protest or retort, Sakura spoke up.

"Both of you. Out. This is going to boil down to either a fist fight or something else, neither of which I'd really care to subject my apartment furniture to, so take this some place else."

Sasuke let out a 'hmph' before stepping back out and waiting on her doorstep for Naruto to follow. Before he did, he walked over to Sakura and ran a shaky hand through his hair as he thanked her. She let out a sigh before a wry smile appeared on her face and she gave him a quick peck on the cheek, earning them both an even angrier scowl from the boy in the doorway.

"And you," she growled, pointing at the dark-haired young man, "will be coming by tomorrow to fix this and apologize."

Sasuke's lip twitched, which she understood as his indignant acknowledgment, before he disappeared with Naruto into the night.


"You," Sasuke snarled the moment they were back inside their shared apartment, shoving Naruto roughly against the nearest wall. "What the fuck have you been doing?"

"What do you mean what have I been doing? What have you been doing?!" Naruto cried, flailing his arms about madly. He was taller than Sasuke by two inches -- something which never failed to piss him off -- so he was looking down into angry black eyes as they flashed a dangerous red.

"I'm not the one spending the evening wrapped in the arms of some woman," Sasuke whispered, his anger more frightening the quieter his voice became.

"I wasn't in the arms of 'some woman'! It was just Sakura-chan!" Naruto protested, finally managing to shove Sasuke off of him. "And it's your fault anyway, so you don't have any reason to complain."

"My fault? My fault? How the hell is your infidelity my fault?"

Naruto wasn't entirely sure what infidelity meant, but he was getting seriously pissed off at this point.

"You're the one using me as a motel, you asshole! You're the one that's fucking around behind my back! I don't know if you ever thought we were dating, but I fucking did, and I know that's my fault that I never brought it up, but I never thought that would make you start fucking around with guys like Sai and Kiba," he growled, tears falling down his face again. "And I can't stop crying and I hate it and why are you such an asshole?"

The apartment fell into silence, broken only by Naruto's choked sobs as he slid down against the wall and buried his face in his knees. Sasuke stared at the wall with a very confused expression for about ten minutes, by which time Naruto had calmed down and was starting to stand back up.

"Y'know what? Fuck it. You can fuck whoever you want. I don't really care. But I'm not going to go out with you if you do," he muttered as he pushed himself up.

"... You are a real fucking idiot."

"Hey--" Naruto squawked indignantly before he was silenced by Sasuke pulling him down and pressing a forceful kiss against his mouth. It'd been over two weeks since he'd last tasted Sasuke, and suddenly all his anger and worry was melting away, and all he could think about was kissing him back, kissing him deeper. But he pulled away, leaving a blinking, stuttering Naruto in his wake.

"Just because I haven't been sleeping with you, you assume I'm fucking someone else? And really, Sai? Kiba? How low do you think my standards are?"

"B-But," Naruto began, trying to get his brain to function again so he could explain, "No kissing, no nothing. You wouldn't even share a bed--"

"No, you wouldn't share a bed," Sasuke interrupted.

"What?" Naruto asked, completely surprised. Since when had that been his idea?

"When we got the new futon. You said, 'You can sleep in it by yourself, stubborn jerk.'"

"What are you talking about? You got the futon because you didn't want to sleep with me in my bed!"

"Because it's too small for the both of us."

"Wait, really? Then... You got the futon--"

"For us to share, yes."

"And I..."

"You were being an idiot and assumed what you wanted."

"So, the no sex is because... you're mad that I wouldn't share the futon?"

Sasuke was silent at that, but his jaw clenched ever so slightly. If there was one thing Naruto was better than anyone else at, it was reading Sasuke -- even if he occasionally got it wrong -- and suddenly he understood.

"Oh," Naruto said at last. "Oh."

He grabbed Sasuke's shirt and tugged on it gently.

"So, you're not seeing someone behind my back?"

Sasuke glared at him as his fingers snaked their way beneath his shirt and up his abdomen. Naruto took that to mean, 'No, I'm not.'

"And it's okay if I think we're dating, and tell Sakura-chan you're my boyfriend?"

Sasuke glared at him some more as he took a step forward, fingers now tracing circles against his chest, his mouth inching closer. Naruto took that to mean, 'Yes, it's okay.'

"And... you won't mind if I press you up against various walls and furniture and fuck you until you come, screaming my name, just like I should've been doing these last three weeks?"

Sasuke's glare softened and his glance darted between Naruto's eyes and his lips, opening his own slightly in anticipation. Naruto's thumb brushed against a pert nipple and Sasuke shivered.

"Fucking kiss me already, moron," he hissed, and Naruto kindly obliged.

It was sloppy and wet, the noise filling the hallway as their tongues danced against one another, with all of their combined need, anger, worrying and desperation being transmitted between them. With every slide of their lips, Sasuke was apologizing for his passive-aggressive behavior and inability to come straight out and state the problem. With every drag of his tongue against Sasuke's teeth, Naruto was telling him how badly he had wanted him -- and still wanted him now -- and how at ease he was to know that this was theirs and theirs alone. Sasuke's hands were in Naruto's hair, trailing down his neck, tugging at his pants; desperate and mad as he scrambled for purchase. Naruto pushed himself into Sasuke until he was sandwiched between the blond and the wall behind him, their erections rubbing against each other with delicious friction.

But it wasn't enough. Both of them needed more.

Naruto started with Sasuke's shirt, but before he could get it off, Sasuke waved his hands away, mumbling up at him not to waste time as his own fingers expertly unbuckled Naruto's pants before retreating to his own. When Sasuke wanted a good hard fuck, he didn't particularly care how much clothing he had on, so long as the necessary items were out of the way. Naruto, however, always liked having him naked. He tugged off his own jacket and shirt and went again for Sasuke's, but was again swatted away.

"Leave it," he said, slightly breathless, as he reached down and took Naruto's erection in his hand, his thumb pressing into the slit and smearing precome over the head. Naruto sucked in a breath and tried again. "Fucking leave it," Sasuke repeated, slight irritation in his voice now. If they weren't going to bother with foreplay, he sure as hell wasn't going to waste time with stripping that he didn't have to.

"No. Take it off," Naruto whispered into his ear before sucking on his neck. Sasuke, suddenly very easily persuaded, let out a tiny grunt before helping Naruto strip the rest of his clothing off.

Using a trick Sakura had -- very reluctantly -- taught him, Naruto focused a fair bit of chakra to his fingers as he circled them around Sasuke's hole, numbing it slightly before slowly pressing his index finger inside him. Sasuke shivered and moaned, and maybe Naruto moaned a little, too, but he honestly couldn't be sure. All he knew was that Sasuke was wrapping a leg around him, pressing their cocks together as Naruto stretched and prepared him. One of them hissed, probably Sasuke, as he added a second finger and continued to thrust them in and out, pace quickening as his anticipation grew. His fingers were enveloped in warmth, but it was nothing in comparison to when he would finally get to push into Sasuke and feel that wonderful tightness and heat around his dick.

"Hurry," Sasuke mumbled, unsatisfied by just fingers and the occasional slap of their erections as they rocked slowly against each other.

"Okay," Naruto murmured before removing his fingers and pressing a gentle kiss against Sasuke's lips. Grabbing him by the waist, Naruto lifted Sasuke a few inches off the floor as he aligned his cock to enter him. He pressed forward slowly, and found himself easily sinking into Sasuke's heat, both of them letting out a satisfied groan. Sasuke wrapped his legs around Naruto's hips and his arms around his neck, kissing him lazily as Naruto began to thrust. His first few were careful, making sure Sasuke was comfortable, before his pace began to quicken, dragging short, sharp cries from the dark-haired boy's throat. It had been just short of a month since the last time they'd been like this, but to Naruto, it felt like it had been ages, and he was quickly overwhelmed by how good it felt.

"Shit," he panted into Sasuke's hair.

"Fuck," Sasuke moaned back.

Naruto's pace continued to climb steadily higher as he buried his face into Sasuke's neck, fingers pressing hard into his hips. Sasuke clawed into Naruto's back, hissing for him to go 'faster, harder, shitfuck, there, right there,' back straightening when the right spot was hit, and again, and again. His toes curled involuntarily when Naruto reached between them to begin stroking him and he let out a choked gasp.

"Say it, Sasuke. Say it," Naruto hummed, unaware of anything but Sasuke and the way he felt fucking him hard against the wall in his -- their -- apartment's hallway.

"Nn--" Sasuke grunted before letting out an embarrassing cry -- well, it would be later; right now neither of them could really think about it much -- as Naruto thrust into him particularly fast. "N-Naruto," he tried again, "Stop being a p-pussy and fuck me."

Naruto grinned against Sasuke's mouth. That hadn't been what he meant, but he took that to be Sasuke-speak for, 'Let me come,' and did just that. With another few thrusts and strokes, Sasuke was coming all over his belly. Naruto still wasn't satisfied, but with shaky legs he managed to give Sasuke a moment to breathe.


After that, Sasuke came another four times and Naruto came two times by dawn, and then by lunch, they had both come five more times. Naruto fucked Sasuke against the hallway wall one time, the kitchen counter four times, the living room sofa three times, the bedroom door two times, in the shower one time, and finally on the futon one last time. Naruto had lost count of how many kisses he'd planted all over Sasuke's body, but Sasuke had kissed him exactly thirty four times, each one hotter than the last. They'd both shouted various obscenities about three hundred and eleven times, and they'd both said each others names around forty six times.

As they laid together beneath the sheets, exhaustion and satisfaction finally lulling them to sleep, they told each other 'I love you,' exactly one time.