No excuse as to why I haven't updated. Sorry.

We sat there, waiting for her name to be called. We couldn't believe this was happening, again.

"And the winner for album of the year is…..Isabella Swan."

She won, Bella had won.

I watched her walk up the stairs to accept the award.

" Wow, um, thank you so much for this. You know, growing up I always wanted one of these?" she says while holding up the award.

"This night is bitter-sweet for my family. It's been a rough year. A really rough year." she wipes the tears as they make their way down her cheeks.

"Someone once told me that life isn't easy, things aren't going to fall in your lap, you have to work hard at what you want, to achieve what you want, and I believe winning this award proves that if you put your mind to it, anything is possible. Winning this award tonight not only means a lot to me but to my entire family. There are so many people I need to thank for this, but I can't seem to remember them all. Sorry. So um, yeah, again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you."

She walks of stage with the help of some upcoming music star. He whispers words in her ear and she leans her head on his shoulder. She doesn't come back to her seat right away. I begin to worry. I see her making her way back to me. She sits down beside me and grabs my hand.

I whisper in her ear. "How are you holding up?

She looks up at me and there are tears in her eyes.

"I'm ok daddy, I just miss her so much."

"I do to Harper. She would have been so proud of you up there you know that right?"

"Yeah, I just wish she could have been here."

We look up at the stage where the host has some back on. He looks down at my family and gives us a nod. It was time.

"On September 15 , Isabella Swan passed away after a long battle with cancer. As many of you know she had fought this horrible disease for many many years. Her family would like to thank everyone for their support and kind words. Isabella Swan, this is for you."

He turns towards the giant screen and we hear Bella's music begin. Flashes of pictures are shown, smiles, tears, many memories I had forgotten about.

"I'm gonna live my life
Like every day's the last
Without a simple goodbye
It all goes by so fast

And now that you've gone
I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

Gonna open my eyes
And see for the first time
I let go of you like
A child letting go of his kite

There it goes, up in the sky
There it goes, beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

Gonna look back in vain
And see you standing there
When all that remains
Is an empty chair
And now that you've gone

I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now

There it goes, up in the sky
There it goes, beyond the clouds
For no reason why
I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now
And now that you've gone
I can't cry hard enough
No, I can't cry hard enough
For you to hear me now"

Long after the show was over, I sat there in my seat, I couldn't find it in my heart to get up and leave. Her picture was frozen, up there on the screen, as a memorial to my wife, my loving, beautiful, amazing wife. No one had thought after 15 years of being cancer free that we would be where we are today. No one expected her to come down with a cold and end up in the hospital after weeks of not getting better only to discover the cancer had come back in full force. Her album, her last album, had just been released three months earlier, she was going to go on tour over the summer, taking Harper along with her. Now she would never get the chance.

Isabella Marie Swan Cullen died in the early morning of September 15, surrounded by her husband, Edward Cullen, daughter, Harper Cullen and son, Miles Cullen. She will never be forgotten and will be terribly missed by those who loved her, not only as a mother, wife, daughter, but as a person who dedicated their life to music. May her memory live in our hearts.

Song: Can't Cry Hard Enough by The Williams Brothers