I'm Only Me When I'm With You

Chapter 1

"JORDAN!!" I screeched after entering the door of the house I hadn't been in over three months.

"RUBY!" He screamed, picking me up on sight and spinning me around.

"I've missed you!" I smiled, soaking in the smell of him.

"Me too." He answered, plopping me back down on the floor.

"Oh, Benny!" I said, suddenly shocked by the newly made teen that was standing in front of me.

"You missed my party. Congrats, now you're just like your dad." He answered, running up the stairs and slamming the door to his room.

"He's been getting moodier lately." Jordan shrugged out, before plopping down on the couch to resume watching television.

"I assume that's what most teen's do. Not that either of us would remember." I joked out, falling into the chair beside the couch to see what Jordan was watching.

"Oh, of course not." Jordan answered smiling, "so how was tour?"

"Good. But…we have to change the name…" I answered, looking down at my folded fingers, wondering how I break the news to the people that had taken me in, no questions asked.

"What do you mean? I think the 'Rockit Father Daughter' tour was a great idea!" Jordan answered, looking at me weird.

"I'm not David's daughter. My grandparents found me backstage after one of the shows, and asked me what the hell the father daughter crap was about. Apparently, my fathers some accountant in Chicago." I whispered, staring hard into the ground, refusing to allow Jordan to see how much this hurt me.

"WHAT?" He asked, sitting straight up.

"Do I really need to repeat that sentence?" I asked, looking up to meet his eyes.

"No, of course…but…I just can't believe it." He answered, looking shocked and kept blinking his eyes.

"Yep. David's pretty pissed. That's why I'm back early…I guess I'm just gonna pack up and go back to live with my grandparents until I'm finished with college." I answered, standing up and heading toward the stairs when suddenly Jordan was standing straight up, and grabbing me.

"You can't leave." He replied, looking me dead in the eyes, giving me chills.

"Why not? I'm not part of this family." I answered, feeling the tears prick at my eyes.

"Maybe not by blood, but you mean so much to everyone in this house. To my father, you are the good, not annoying, and not completely strange child he never had. My mother loves you because she finally had another girl. Ben, well, Ben loves anyone that brings chaos into the house…and me…I just…I just plain love you." He stated, looking firmly into my eyes, and somehow, I knew exactly what and in which way he meant.

"Jordan…" I began

"I know. You've only thought of me as a cousin up until this time, but the entire time you've lived here, I've been in love with you. I can't let you leave now that I finally know we aren't related. You have to give me a chance. I can't let this chance go back." He replied, his eyes pleading with me.

"Jordan…I can't stay here." I answered, knowing deep inside that I really couldn't.

"Ruby! Are you really saying that if you were in love with someone, and if suddenly you had a chance to be with them, you wouldn't want to try and take the chance?" He asked, looking deep into me.

"Jordan…I'm married. I can not stay here with someone that is in love with me. I'm so sorry." I answered before fleeing up the stairs, my eyes burning with uncried tears.

Three hours later, I heard the soft knocking of Ben on my door.

"Come in." I muttered.

"I heard what happened." He stated, holding up some cookie dough and Ben and Jerry's Cinnamon Bun ice cream.

"You're the best, no longer my cousin anymore, cousin." I smiled up at him, taking the ice cream from him and peeling it open.

"So, how's the guy that gave the ring?" Ben asked, popping some cookie dough in his mouth as he sat down on my bed.

"Joe." I answered, smiling, and yet suddenly unable to picture his face.

"What's he like?" Ben asked, getting up to look at the things in my room.

"Wonderful, a gentleman, sweet, kind. Brown hair, green eyes, Italian. Why are you looking at my things like you've never seen them?" I asked, poking Ben when he came within my reach.

"Oh, no one's been allowed in here. He sounds like a real gem." Ben smiled, taking another piece of cookie dough and turning to look at my movies.

"Why not?" I asked, suddenly preoccupied more with why no one was allowed in my room than my impending marriage.

"Mom said so. You know, I should hate you, right?" He asked, glancing back at me.

"What? Why?" I asked, suddenly taken aback.

"Because, you broke my brothers heart." Ben stated simply before walking out the door and making me cry once again.

XXXX

"So you're attempt to 'make Ruby feel better', just made her cry more." Jordan glumly stated when I entered his room minutes after exiting Ruby's.

"Yeah, well. I tried. At least now she has comfort food." I answered, plopping down at Jordan's computer chair.

"I didn't want to make her cry, you dufus." Jordan answered, pushing me with his foot.

"Well, neither did I. But she made me mad." I answered, glaring at him, before pushing his stinky feet off of me.

"Why would she make you mad? You have no feelings in this situation." He replied, prodding me with his foot.

"She's my ex-cousin, and you're my brother, and you're telling me I have no feelings in this? You're an idiot. In fact, you've finally topped your idiocy." I answered, getting out of his chiar and slamming the door behind me.

"Damn mood swings, it's like he's pmsing all the time." Jordan muttered once I exited the door, making me want to punch his stupid little blonde head.

XXXX

"Mom, you need to talk to Ruby, and Jordan. Fix everything, because I can't." Ben said to me at around seven o'clock.

"Ben, honey, Ruby's on tour." I smiled ruffling his hair.

"Uhm, no she's not. She's here, and engaged, oh yeah, and she's not my cousin." He answered, before walking out of the room.

"RUBY! JORDAN! OUT NOW!" I yelled a few minutes later, after shaking off my shock and finally understanding what Ben had said.

"What, mom?" Jordan asked, sticking his head out of his door, even as I knocked on his door.

"You come with me." I stated, pointing a finger at them both and pointing downstairs.

"I'm not going anywhere near her." Jordan stated before shutting his door again, and making tears appear in Ruby's eyes.

"Oh, honey…it's okay." I said as I reached out for her, but instead of allowing me in like usual, she shut the door, making me suddenly feel obsolete.