Because sometimes I wonder at my own sanity. Especially, when I'm just not sure if this fits well enough with my own definition of weird. Oh well, all's fair in life and ducks.


Only In Vegas

By Shinku


Summary: Because sometimes things just happen, and they tend to happen a lot in Vegas.

It was good of him to have provided the liquor, she decided.


However, she would have preferred to have been well on her way to being smashed, before he dropped his verbal bombshell.

"No." She said quite bluntly.

"No?" He asked.

"No." She agreed. "I'm not nearly drunk enough to deal with this. Find another subject."

And to punctuate her statement, she pointedly made a show of knocking back another shot.

"And what would you have me talk about, Sarah? The whole point of this little Aboveground excursion was so that we could talk about this."

How many had she'd had so far?

"Talking," She emphasized. "Is for people that have the proper legal documents."

Jareth rolled his eyes. "And I have shown you the written laws governing this situation."

"And I've told you," She argued. "That I can not read squiggles. Hence, it's a no go. I'm not buying it."

Honestly, she could feel her inhibitions beginning to nod off, it definitely had to have been more than two.

He sighed, and sat back in his chair, watching her.

She knocked back another shot.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

She gave him a pointed look.

He sighed again. "What do you expect from me, Sarah?"

Sarah stilled, considering. Finally she shrugged, knocked back yet another shot, and asked him quite bluntly.

"Do you know where we are?"

He tilted his head slightly to the side, pondering her, before shrugging.

"Not particularly."

It took effort but she refrained from laughing.

The room swayed horribly as she suddenly spread her arms, as if showing off the hotel bar.

"Welcome to Las Vegas, Jareth. Home of the chronic gambler and the 24 hour marriage."

He stilled. "The what?"

Her shrug was more of quasi-flop. She really didn't want the room to start spinning again.

"This is a tourist town. Folks tend to come here for vacations. You know, gambling, drinking, seeing the sights, drinking, watching a show, drinking, perhaps visiting a good hotel, and did I mention the drinking?"

Jareth felt his lips twitch. "Once or twice."

"Yeah, well, the drinking is very important you see. In this town, drinking occasionally leads to waking up the next morning to someone you don't know and clutching a certificate from one of the many 24 hour chapels."

She drained another shot and looked back up at him.

Or rather, he noticed, slightly to the right of him.

"The number of annulments this town files is insane." She pointed out.

He thought it was insane that she wasn't slurring her words, yet.

"So, you see, this was really not the best place to try and tell me that winning your obstacle course from hell, not only won me my brother back but apparently eligible bachelor number one!"

She made a grab for the bottle again, but Jareth was faster.


"No." He commanded.

She pouted.

He eyed the half empty bottle before shrugging and taking a long careless swallow, pointedly returning the bottle to his side of the table. If Sarah was going to be this stubborn then she wasn't the only one that was going to need a drink. Somehow, he just couldn't shake the feeling that this night was just not going to turn out the way he expected.


She looked up from her mournful inspection of her empty shot glass.

"Is it truly such a terrible idea to be married to me?"

She tilted her head slightly to one side, once again staring slightly to the right of him.

"I don't know, maybe."

He sighed, took another swallow and bluntly commanded, "Elaborate."

She nodded her head in thought, began to sway dangerously and quickly stopped.

Jareth grinned, before turning and nicking a straw from a passing waiter. A few moments later and he was pleased to discover it was one with a bendable neck. Now he wouldn't have to worry about it getting stuck in the bottle.

As Jareth quietly began to sip his chosen beverage through the straw (this was such a bad idea), Sarah managed to gather her thoughts.

"What's my favorite color?" She asked.

Jareth didn't even hesitate. "It was red when we first met, but over the years it seems to have gradually changed to blue."

Sarah nodded slowly. "And what about my favorite animal?"

This time, Jareth did hesitate. "Despite having a dog, your favorite animal for many years was a cat. I'm not yet sure if that has changed."

She gave him a child like grin. "It has changed, but you're right. For a very long time it was a cat."

He eyed her curiously as he sucked at the straw. "And, what does it happen to be, now?"

Her grin became a little wider. "It's a secret. Not telling!"

His answering grin at the perceived challenge was more playful, than sinister. Why was this such a bad idea again?

"I'll give you a wish if you tell me."

She giggled drunkenly as she swayed faintly from side to side. The action reminded him horrible of a cobra waiting to strike.

"You've already given me everything I've wanted." Her grin suddenly faltered, and died. "I regret that, you know. I didn't realize it…but you were and…I'm sorry."

He blinked at her sudden change in mood.

"For what?"

She sniffled, and he quickly got up and took the seat next to her.

"Don't cry." He tried to sooth.

It didn't help.

"But you were, and I didn't notice until I was back home, and I'm so sorry!" She suddenly wailed into his chest.

Startled, he quickly put his arms around her and held her.

"What didn't you notice, Sarah?" He asked.

"You were being generous, you did give me everything I wanted, and… and… I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry."

She clutched him like she was afraid he would disappear.

Distantly, he realized that this was something that had probably been bothering her for a very long time. Thinking quickly (or as quickly as he was able), he tried to change the subject.

"You were trying to make a point to me earlier. What was your point?" He coaxed.

It took a few minutes but the sobs quickly quieted. She didn't, however, let him go. He wasn't complaining.

"For a long time, there was an owl outside my window. You were outside my window, and you know all this stuff about me, and all that I know about you is in the few times I met you in the Labyrinth, and what I read in my book." She sighed. "It's not a lot to base a life time commitment on."

Jareth winced.

It was embarrassing to admit, but she was right. Many years ago, when he'd first laid eyes on her, he'd made every possible effort to learn her, but he had never been able to allow for the same thing.

"We're just going to have to fix that." He announced.

She pulled back as she looked up at him.

"If we're going to be playing one of those, 'get-to-know-you' games, I'm quitting right now." She informed him.

He smiled innocently at her. "But Sarah! I thought you wanted to get to know me?"

She snorted. "You cheat."

"I merely think outside the box." He corrected.

She gave him (or rather, the right of him) a dry look. "Yeah, right. You get outside the box, kick the crap out of it and then duct tape and super glue it to the shape you want. No thanks. I'm staying away from the stupid box."

Jareth's grin suddenly took on a knowing edge.

"See?" He pointed out. "You know me already."

Still staring slight to the right of him, she gave him a faint disbelieving look. "This is going to be a long night, isn't it?"

Jareth merely continued to grin, as he rose from his seat. "I believe you mentioned something about chronic gambling?"

The world was still swaying faintly, but Sarah couldn't help the smile that twitched at her lips. "You know, they say the first step toward beating an addiction, is admitting you have one. Is there something you'd like to share with me, Jareth?"

His grin became positively feral.

"There are many things I'd love to… share with you, Precious, but do you really think this is the best place?"

Sarah's mouth dropped open.

"Did you just proposition me in public?" She hazarded to ask.

Jareth said nothing.

"Oh, who am I kidding, of course you did! Don't you have any shame?"

He gave her a smug look. "Not a bit."

Frustrated, she pushed back her chair and made to stagger away from the insane fae when quite suddenly, she found her arm tightly locked with his, being half dragged to the casino proper.

She struggled briefly before realizing it was a losing battle.

"What part of our crazy conversation about you and boxes didn't you understand?" She asked.

"The duct tape." He answered honestly.

Sarah didn't know whether to laugh or cry again.

"Here." He said suddenly, and she was abruptly shoved onto a stool in front of a slot machine. Seconds later a handful of tokens were dropped onto her lap and the distinct sound of the slots to her left began to jingle.

It was quite the sight, seeing the Goblin King playing the slots as if it was a normal everyday occurrence. She briefly wondered why no one was staring at his chosen form of dress; until a Klingon walked by. She immediately turned back to her machine and slid in a token.

Only in Vegas.

As the little pictures began their rotation she couldn't help but sneak a few peeks of him as he played. It quickly brought to mind the beginning of the night.

She was married.

The thought wasn't nearly as daunting as it was when he'd first shown up and dropped the news on her. Though, she wouldn't admit to it for a while, she'd often wondered what could have happened if she'd stayed. She'd never been able to properly picture it. There was just too much she didn't know about him.

Like, what would happen if she met his family. Did he have a family, or did he just suddenly poof into existence one day? Or children? How would they raise children? Was it different from how she was raised? What if he got angry with her, truly horribly angry with her? What would happen then?

What would happen to her?

She suddenly wanted a good stiff drink.

"Is there any particular reason as to why you're staring at me like I'm going to turn into a goblin?" He asked.

She flinched.

Some might say she had nothing to ground such thoughts, but she remembered the Cleaners. Just like she'd remembered the nightmare a week after, that had terrified her so badly Karen had threatened to take her to the hospital.

I'd dreamt I'd died.

"Sarah?" He called, and suddenly she realized he was holding her hands. Gently stroking the tops of them with his thumbs. She looked up into his eyes, and some of the mindless terror began to leave her.

"What would happen if you got angry with me?" She blurted out.

He blinked, startled.

"I imagine we would have an argument and probably say some hurtful things to each other. Then like most young wives, I'd expect you'd get most upset with me and run off to your parents house." His smile suddenly turned mischievous. "Of course, once you'd gone, I'd feel positively terrible and would have to go and get you. Then after some heartfelt apologies we'd probably go back to our place and have some absolutely spectacular make up sex."

The last of the linger fear abruptly died laughing.

"Are you always this brazen?" She asked, smiling.

"Worse." He agreed.

And that, she realized, was that. It didn't matter what fear or uncertainty she thought she held. The shear fact of the matter was that this man love her. That despite all the things they'd put each other through, she loved him, too.

Her smile turned radiant.

"Come on." She said, taking his hand. "I have somewhere we need to go."

Jareth just smiled indulgently and slid off the stool. However, before she could tug him away to wherever she had in mind, he deftly turned and snatched up the bottle with the pilfered bendy straw. After all, he had a feeling they were going to need it.


Sarah Williams decided right then and there that the sun had something against her. I mean, really, did it have to be so damn bright? She groaned as she shimmied further down the bed, thoroughly ensconcing herself under the blankets. That was it, she just wasn't coming out until the sun had been turned off. No way, no how.

It was as she was further shifting herself about that her leg managed to brush against something unfamiliar. The kind of unfamiliar that had her questioning who's room she was in. She tensed, as she cracked open a single eye to assess the unknown appendage. Yes, that defiantly did not belong to her.

Quickly closing the eye again, she tried to wrack her brain for the memories of what she'd done the night before. Vaguely she could recall a shot glass, one that had been used quite frequently if her memory wasn't too far off. Then… Slots, yes, definitely slots, and… Klingons? Hmm, there was something important about that Klingon. Something about his clothes… clothes…oh, no. She didn't.

Slowly opening her eyes, she carefully reached up and pulled back the blanket.

Her head protested loudly against the light, but as she was awkwardly squinting through the pain she could just make out sleepy but amused blue eyes looking out at her from under a pillow. The memory slammed into her like squirrel tossing itself in front of an SUV.

"Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?"

Oh, crap.

"I just feel you should know." He stated softly. "That I absolutely refuse to get an annulment, or I suppose it would be a divorce at this point."

She blinked uncomprehendingly.

What in the-

Another squirrel abruptly ran into the proverbial road.

Immediately she looked toward the hand that was resting nearest her (the other ensuring the pillow went absolutely nowhere). It was strange, seeing it without a glove. She smiled faintly as she gently reached out and examined it. The memory was faded, like an old photograph but she could still recall that this hand had been very gentle with her. Like she was something precious.


She smiled as she reached out and wrapped herself flush against him, resting her head along his chest. It was an oddly wonderful feeling, knowing that she was safe were she was.

"I've come to a decision." She announced.

"Oh?" He asked. "Should I be concerned?"

"Maybe." She answered. "I decided I'm probably crazy."

"Is that so," He remarked "and how, exactly, have you come to this conclusion?"

She grinned into his chest, not letting him see the expression.

"I realized that I love you."

He stiffened, as if she'd dropped cold water down his back. She tried not to be too amused at his expense.

"Well, it's about time!"

She laughed, pleased at still being able to keep him spinning.

He glared, before vengefully running his fingers lightly down her ribs. She shrieked as she tried to pulled away, and both winced.

However, despite their obvious pain, Jareth did not let her go. In fact, the moment she began to relax he quickly attacked her ribs again. This time she managed to refrain from shrieking, but that did nothing to stop the near hysterical laughter that plagued her.

Well, you know what they say, sharing is caring.

She had to admit, she didn't expect him to jump quite so violently when she lightly racked her nails down his side. Nor the stunned expression that crossed his face at her actions. Really, hadn't he learned that she always gave as good as she got? Silly, Goblin King.

His eyes narrowed at the challenge.

Oh. It was on!

And that was how the house keeper found them ten minutes later. Rolling about on the bed like a couple of demented school children. Idly, she was thankful that the blankets were still mostly covering the two. Despite having walked in on more than her fair share of naked couples she really didn't need one of the trainees coming in and having a panic attack.

She cleared her throat loudly, and they both froze.

Conducting herself into the most business like attitude she could manage while wearing a tasteless skirt and an apron, she calmly walked over to the night stand and picked up a small paper sign.

"This is a 'Do Not Disturb' sign." She stated slowly, as if they were retarded. "When you hang this outside your door, I do not have to walk in on whatever screwed up form of the mad-wild-passionate-monkey-dance you've got on, do you understand me!?"

Sarah and Jareth both nodded.

"Good." She said, her voice airline stewardess sweet. "Now, I'm going to hang this outside your door and I'll be back at a later time when it's not there. Thank you for your cooperation." And with those parting words she turned and left. The brief noise of the door shutting and the little paper sign being slid into place was all that was heard.

For a brief moment both were silent. Until…

"My place, then?" Jareth asked.

Sarah could only nod, dumbfounded.

And just like that, both husband and wife were gone. The only evidence that they'd ever been there was a rumpled bed, and a newly hung 'Do Not Disturb' sign.

Honestly, only in Vegas.


The End

Well, I hope everyone got a kick out my sense of humor, and my take on the whole Sarah won Toby and Jareth plot. I always thought it was funny that more people seem to think that Jareth would try to get her to love him rather than just blindsiding her with the fact. I mean really, wouldn't you have to be just a bit goblin-minded to be able to rule over the lot? Goblins aren't subtle creatures if you haven't noticed.

Anyway, Ma, since your probably reading this, I feel you should know. I made the house keeper just for you. Never say that I didn't gave you anything.

Alright everyone, you know the drill, please leave a contribution in the little box. -Shi