TITLE: Horny

AUTHOR: Cyclone

RATING: T

KEYWORDS: Goren/Eames

SPOILERS: none

SUMMARY: "You said you were horny, and then you got all gropey."

DISCLAIMER: I believe Dick Wolf and Co. retain ownership of everything L&Oish.

NOTES: I've almost finished part two of The Fourth Time (----shamless pimpage), but Bobby and Alex wanted to play. This is the result. Fluff. Read at your own peril. I mean that.

XxX

"Good morning," he said cheerfully, as Eames padded barefoot into the kitchen, squinting at the light.

"Ugh," she grunted in return.

He grinned; a grunting and cranky Eames dressed in one of his shirts jonesing for a caffeine fix was kinda cute. A grunting and cranky Eames dressed in one of his shirts jonesing for a caffeine fix in his kitchen was better than cute. Especially when he was the one who controlled the coffee pot. He poured a cup, offered it to her and waited. It normally didn't take long for the caffeine to take effect, and he'd learned to allow her the time to wake up properly. This morning, however, it seemed to be taking much longer than usual. He grinned again, because he was fairly sure he knew the reason why.

"Why are you grinning at me?" she asked suddenly, disturbing the silence.

He tried to affect an innocent air, but he failed. "Do I need a reason?"

Her eyes narrowed. "No, but you usually have one."

"You're right, I do have one."

"Are you going to share?"

He thought about how best to answer that, and then decided to have some fun. "You were very . . . persuasive last night."

She took a large gulp of coffee and grimaced. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't remember?" He clutched his heart in mock pain. "Oh, my manly pride."

"Cut it out, Bobby. It's too early for you to be this clever, so just spill."

"Okay, okay. Last night I . . . saw a side of you that I've never seen before. It was . . . very enlightening."

"Will you just get on with it?"

"You're no fun," he teased, thoroughly enjoying himself.

"And you're having way too much of it at my expense. So will you please just tell me what happened so I can crawl back into bed and die?"

He decided to show her a little mercy, even though he knew that when the situation was reversed she'd show him absolutely none. "Alright, where do you want me to start?"

She thought for a moment. "How did I get here?"

He shrugged. "Cab, I assume. I heard a pounding on the door at around one thirty. I answered it and you . . . well, you barrelled in, backed me up against the wall and before I could even ask you what you were doing here you started kissing me. And then you . . . did other things."

Her eyes narrowed even more, if that were possible. "Why would I do that?"

"You were horny," he said simply.

"What?"

He tried to keep the mirth out of his voice, he really did. But he couldn't help himself. "That's what you said. Horny. It was a little surprising to hear that word come out of you mouth, but there you have it. Horn-ee."

"Are you making this up?" she asked suspiciously.

"Would I do that?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'm not. You said you were horny, and then you got all gropey." He paused to gauge her reaction. "That was kinda fun, so I let you play for a while."

"How long?"

"How long did you grope me? Oh, not too long. You decided that I was wearing too many clothes so you started stripping me."

Alex walked to the table and sat down, coffee still in hand. "And you just stood there, I suppose?"

"No, you had a little problem with my belt, so I helped you along."

"Aren't you the perfect gentleman?"

"I was last night."

"Bobby," she said threateningly.

"Yes?" he replied innocently.

She sighed. "Never mind. Then what happened?"

"After you got my belt off? Well, you had a little fun down there, and then . . ."

"Fun?"

"Well, it was for me."

She sighed again. "Then what?"

"Then you passed out."

"Oh."

"And being the perfect gentleman that I am, I put you to bed."

"Oh."

"And that's it."

She finished her coffee and walked the cup to the sink. "Okay, I guess I can live with that. But how did I get undressed again? You seem to have glossed over that part."

"Ah, well," he smiled," coming to stand beside her, "that was me."

"See anything you like?" she asked, tilting her head back for a lingering kiss.

"Always," he replied softly.

"Good answer."

"I do have them, occasionally."

"Bobby?"

"Mmmmm?"

"My head hurts," she complained.

His arms enveloped her in a warm embrace. "That must have been some hens night."

She groaned into his chest. "You have no idea."

End.