Well, now you've done it. I'm writing self insert lemons. CURSE YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS, Thorn and Lust! CURSE YOU FOR BEING SO AWESOME.

Disclaimer-Dun't own Naruto, just OC's and AU elements.

The Snake and the Slut
Chapter 1-Tongues, Trust and Treachery

* * *
Some point before the Chunin Exam arc, AU
* * *

Sasekomaru was stalking stealthily through the forests.
Well, that's what he imagined he was doing. In actual fact, he was dashing from tree to tree like an oversized, chakra-wielding squirrel.

He wasn't a particularly good ninja-he only knew about five techniques. They happened to be techniques that made him a particularly good Seduction-Kunoichi.

He was a very weird, oversized chakra-wielding squirrel. Because he loved his job.
But, he had temporarily left Konoha for a mission of his own devising.

He was headed to the Land of Sound.

More specifically, Otogakure.

More specifically, he was on a seduction mission.

More specifically, he wanted to see how good an extendable tongue was in bed.

* * *

Sasekomaru-which was a mouthful, his friends generally called him Sasmaru, or Slutboy, depending on how annoyed they were, and how honest they felt-had managed to infiltrate the building, using some skilful usage of the Shunshin technique, taught to him by his old teammate.

Flashing past the guards with a Kunai, he killed every one with that single move.

Who needed ninjutsu anyway?

Sasmaru ghosted inside, through one of the doors, and ran down the corridor. He managed to get a good way before seeing anything. The light of the doorway ran out, and it was pitch black for a good few minutes before there were any lights.

But then there were, and he continued on.
Footsteps.

He stopped dead in his tracks. If he was caught, he'd die-probably in a horrible way.
"Meisaigakure no Jutsu." whispered Sasmaru.

It was a risky gambit. He faded out of sight, light passing around him, camouflaging him against the wall. If they checked for chakra.

He held his breath as two ninja ran past.
He waited a few moments after they flashed past.

And then breathed out deeply.

He continued running, briefly thinking about how he was going to find Orochimaru's room.
Then realised, and giggled to himself.

The biggest, shiniest, flashiest one.

* * *

"Hello, Orochimaru-san!" said Sasmaru brightly.

The Sannin opened his eyes suddenly, seeing a pair of brown eyes looking directly into his, and brown hair hanging from the face they were set in.

The boy was hanging from the ceiling, a faint glow of chakra on his feet.
"So…" he said. "Are you gay? I've always wondered…"

Orochimaru stared at him.

Weirdest assassination attempt ever. And… was that a Konoha headband, on his forehead?
Of course. Only they cared THAT much, to actually keep trying.

He quietly formed a handsign under the cover.

"Shunshin." he said.
He vanished, reappearing on the other side of the room. He reached into his mouth, drawing a long sword from it-the Kusanagi.

He settled into a combat stance. Then, as an afterthought, said.
"And I am NOT gay."

"Fair enough." said Sasmaru. He dropped, flipping onto the bed. "How about this then? Shinsei Henge."

There was a puff of smoke.
And Sasmaru was suddenly not a he anymore.
He was a girl, with long, curling brown hair, and brown eyes. She was tall, and very, very shapely. She was also wearing very, very little. A bra that barely covered anything, and some panties that didn't have enough fabric to make a napkin. Oddly, the headband, and weapons pouch, remained.

Orochimaru stared. Blood rushed to his face.

Sasmaru-Well, Sasmi would be better-giggled.
"I got Orochimaru to react!" she cheered. Her voice was much higher and more feminine like this.

Orochimaru shook his head.
"No-one gets into my village and gets away with it." he said.
He raised the sword, and began to charge.

Sasmi quickly drew a kunai and went to block it, and failed utterly. The Kusanagi cut through it as if it wasn't there. She only just dodged back to avoid dangerous injury. As it was, the sword cut slightly into her, drawing blood, and severing one of the straps on her bra.

It fell to the ground, and Orochimaru couldn't help but stare at the two very round breasts.

"Oh… please, Orochi-kun…" said Sasmi, using every talent she had ever learnt, wiggling her hips, using a soft, low voice. "Show me what you can do!"

Orochimaru looked for a second like he would, and then said.
"You just want me to lower your guard." he said. "You're here for Konoha."
"Nope, I'm here because I want to see how many techniques you've managed to get with interesting applications." she said cheerfully. "The Hokage would kill me if he knew I was here."

"Then what would you do, if I did this?" hissed Orochimaru, slashing his sword across Sasmi's headband, through the leaf. It was a symbolic act that would give Sasmi a very hard time when she returned to the village.

"Yeah…" she sighed. "Like they'd let me off this. Fraternising with the enemy without orders to, and not taking advantage of it… if I didn't get imprisoned or something, I'd be on D-ranks until we were on the eighteenth Hokage."

Orochimaru was shocked. maybe, just possibly, she was just interested… like they'd send anyone under Kage level to take him out. It would be a pointless waste, and insulting.

His Kasanagi whipped out, nicking her skin, and cutting the strap on her panties, before he threw the weapon aside.
"I believe you." he told her. Her face lit up, and he pushed her down onto the bed.

His tongue left his mouth, licking around his lips, and he face was suddenly begging.

He smiled. He hadn't had anything in such a long time… this was going to be a night to remember.
Maybe he'd let her… him… her… it go back to a boy for part of it. I mean, it was true, he wasn't gay. Mostly…

His tongue darted into her cunt, just the tip of it, and she gave a startled yelp.
An odd noise, what was she, an Inuzuka?
Again, this time slightly deeper, in for slightly longer.

A drawn out noise, a moan of pleasure.

The third time he went all out. The entire length of his tongue slipped inside of her, licking around, pushing at her from within.

Her moan changed to an uncontrolled panting, a scream that could be seen waiting in her face, but hadn't quite made it yet.

The snake lifted a hand, moving it over to the girl's breast, massaging it, squeezing the nipple gently.
Her mouth opened, but no sound managed to get out.

Orochimaru squirmed his tongue around, twisting it, rubbing everything, as his other hand went up, and played with her other breast.

A whimper fought its way from her mouth.

Orochimaru smiled. His tongue left her, and she made a disappointed noise, that was almost a word.

He moved further up her, his tongue curling towards her breasts, licking at one, then at the other. His hand went down to her cunt, playing with her clit, and then pushing a finger into her.

She was suddenly breathless.

Orochimaru's mouth moved to one of her breasts, and he sucked on the nipple, while his tongue stretched over to lick at the other, and his fingers were pushing at the inside of her cunt.
She gave a dissatisfied groan as he stopped, pulling himself upright. He spent a few seconds undressing, before giving a hiss, and throwing the clothes off with a pulse of chakra.

Sasmi stared at him. A specific part of him.

"Does that extend too?" she asked hopefully.
"No more than usual." he said, with a grin. "Open up."

He sat on her chest, and pushed his cock through her breasts, pushing them together over it with his hands.
She groaned, and he took advantage of her open mouth to kiss her, his tongue slipping deep inside of her. Sasmi's tongue tried to fight with it, but lost almost instantly, and he had free reign over her mouth, as he did the rest of her.

He ended the kiss, pushing his dick further, so its head slipped into her still open mouth.
She licked at it, then began to suck it with a will.

Orochimaru smiled, pushing harder through her breasts, earning another squeal of happiness. He groaned a little himself. It had been far too long.

Soon enough, he stopped that as well, pulling away from her. She lifted her head to follow his cock, but he didn't allow her to.
He stood up, and smiled.
Before, finally, pushing himself into her cunt.
At long last, she screamed with pleasure.

Nothing mattered, except him, and her.
Soon enough, he came, his cum spurting inside of her. She came moments later, overcome by his extensive treatment.
He sat beside her, murmuring into her ear.

"I really want to be able to trust you…" he said, his mouth brushing her neck. "Maybe this will help me do so…"
He bit down, and three black marks, like the tomoe of the Sharingan, appeared upon her. She screamed, and he held her tight.
"You'll make it." he said. "I will it to be so, and so it shall be."

* * *

Eveyone was staring at Orochimaru as he walked through his village. Normally they wouldn't dare, but… there was a spring in his step, a sparkle in the eyes, a lull in the killing intent that had cast its oppressive will over them all for years.

But they weren't just staring at him, but at the woman next to him. Tallish, with curly brown hair down to her shoulders, and slightly past. Deep brown eyes, and a smile that had nosebleeds breaking out along the corridor.
Though they could have been because she was wearing nothing, other than a Missing-Leaf headband on her forehead, and a soft collar around her neck inscribed with the Oto note, attached to a string held by Orochimaru. Next to the collar were two seals, one on each side of her neck. One, the almost familiar curse mark, the other a stranger, different seal.

"Sorry, but it seems that isn't enough to trust you." he had said sadly to her, when she awoke from the forming of the cursed seal, jut before he created the second seal, and reduced her to this.

Of course, she very much enjoyed being 'reduced' like this, and happily told him so.
"I'll trust you eventually." he said, before taking her out into the base.

And for the record, extendable tongues are VERY good in bed.

* * *

Shunshin-Body Flicker
Meisaigakure no Jutsu-Hidden Camouflage Technique. (I think)
Shinsei Henge-True Transformation

* * *

Yup. Is self insert, why?
I seem to have a problem with writing yaoi… I'll read it, hell, I'd probably take p[art in it, but writing it… eck. I'll try to put SOME in here. Eventually. Yes, this has PLOT. It's set in the same world as Tale of Three Kunoichi, so you know.