Title: To be with the one he loves.
Summary: Hp/Ss, including RW/HG, Albus Dumbledore, the marauders', Lily Evans and the ever popular Lucius Malfoy. Includes M/M relationships. All of consenting age.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, Hogwarts or the wonderful world created by the stupendous J.K. Rowling. She owns all. I simply own the idea.
Harry to Severus poking him and rolled to his side that he could stay spooned up into Severus. He felt arms relax around him for a long moment and then the poking continued, followed by a low voice saying, "Harry, wake up love. Wake up!"
Groaning Harry opened his eyes groggily, "What? You want more sex?"
A soft snort could be heard and then Sev said behind him, "No I do not want more sex. We've got to get back to our common rooms."
Realizing where they were Harry rolled onto his back and scooted so that he could look properly at the Slytherin he was lying next to. "What time is it?"
"Mm I'm glad that we share that opinion."
"You really don't want more sex then?"
Severus laughed, "Of course I do. But I also want to be able to walk today!"
"Damn…" Harry pouted playfully and leaned in to kiss his lover lightly. "So, was it absolutely horrible sleeping next to me?"
"Who slept over your atrocious mountain man snores?" Sev teased, his lips twitching.
"I do not snore!" Harry protested, his brow furrowing, "Do I snore?"
With a short laugh, Sev rolled his eyes, "Only a little…It's actually quite endearing."
"Oh really? It's endearing?" Harry grinned a little smugly and cuddled into him.
"You are going to get such a big ego I swear." Sev pecked his nose and rolled onto his back.
"I just like hearing how much you adore me. Would it help you if I told you what I adored about you?"
"If you must…" Sev winked at him.
"Well I love your hair and how velvety it is, how deep and intelligent your eyes are, and how perfectly pink your lips are. I positively come at the sight your skin and get hard the softest touch of your tormenting fingers." Harry lifted Sev's hand and kissed the tips of each long, slender finger. "Your hips, your stomach, your thighs are so sexy. I love the way you smirk at me and the way your eyes tell me how much you want me. I love how you dominate me and how you're probably thinking of the next time we have sex and how you're going to be on top."
Sev blushed and that pretty much confirmed what Harry had said. He took a long moment to be completely rid of the blush on his face before looking straight at Harry and saying confidently, "I will be on top."
Harry purred happily and looked up at Sev from under his eyelashes, "Yes, master…"
"That I do like." Sev said rolling himself on top of Harry, his hands on either side of his head. He dipped in and licked at his bottom lip. "Now why can't you be this submissive all the time?"
"You'd get bored."
Smirking at how right Harry was Sev kissed him in a bruising way. When they were both breathless he pulled back, "We have to go Harry." He smirked and poked Harry's pouting lip.
Harry sighed in resignation and grabbed his wand, with a flick of his wrist they were both clothed. Sev stood and pulled Harry up with him. He trapped his arms behind his back and kissed butterfly kisses across his face, "Thank you for tonight."
"You don't have to thank me love. I would do anything to make you happy."
Sev picked his wand off the chair by the desk and waved it around the room, banishing the blankets and most of the candles. He took Harry's hand possessively and they walked out of the room, and up to the main hall where they would separate.
Sighing Harry plucked at Sev's robes, "I wish we didn't have to separate."
Remembering Harry's memories of how they used to sleep so very intimately together, Sev smiled softly, "Me too. But we do, but don't worry I'll see you bright and early tomorrow."
"Sweet boy." Harry placed his hand on Sev's cheek and kissed him lightly. "I'll see you tomorrow, love."
Still holding onto Sev's hand Harry walked away letting his hand slip lightly out of his grasp, he skipped up the stairs and was about to try and wake up the fat lady when a papery hand reached out to grasp his shoulder.
He spun around and looked up at Professor Dumbledore, "Professor! I was…Just taking a walk."
Dumbledore's eye's twinkled mischievously, "Of course, of course."
Harry scratched the back of his head and realized how much he smelled like sex. "Is there something you need Professor?"
"Alas yes. I must inform you that my spies have told me about Voldemort's newest plan. It's quite grave and I'm afraid that we must act immediately."
Sighing Harry looked away, he knew what he had to do, he just really didn't want too. "Tomorrow Albus. I must sleep and prepare Hermione and Ron for what has to be done."
Albus nodded gravely, "I am truly sorry for asking you to do this again Harry."
"Yeah I am too."
He wondered how he was supposed to tell Hermione and Ron that they had to face the world's most dangerous wizard again. Then he wondered how he was supposed to tell Severus that he was leaving to kill Voldemort. He rubbed his temples and felt a stress headache building.
Harry stood in the doorways of the Great Hall, Hermione and Ron flanking either side of him. He stared around the great hall stoically, his heart thrumming rapidly. He hated having to leave this place, even just for a short while. He hated planning a murder even if it was Voldemort. He hated having to leave Severus, his parents and his friends. He didn't know if he was going to walk back into the castle, his first and only home, and if he was ever going to see the man he loved again.
He looked at Hermione and saw that bright determination was on her face, but she had an edge of fear in her eyes as well as she looked around. He reached for her hand and squeezed tightly. She glanced up at him and nodded once to say that she was okay.
With a low sigh he looked at his best friend who was so like the brother he'd never had. Ron wore a fierce look and a steely look in his eyes. He stared back at Harry and nodded as well. Harry made a silent vow to never ask his friends to help him with something so dangerous again and hoped that Ron could see it in his eyes. Apparently he could because Ron smiled in amusement, "Trouble always finds us doesn't it mate?"
"That it does Ron that it does."
Harry looked back around and stepped forward when he saw Sev's smiling face staring at him from the Slytherin table. He stepped forward when his lover stood and began walking towards him. Hermione squeezed his hand once more and then let go. He felt Ron move forward to stand next to Hermione and knew that they were having their own private, silent conversation behind him.
Severus smiled at Harry and walked over to him. But his smile faltered when he saw the expression on not only Harry's face but on his friends faces too. They all looked determined but sad too. It was those shared expressions that had him scared. What could they be focusing on so much? What were they planning? And why did he feel like he was not going to like it.
He finally stopped in front of Harry and whispered, "What's wrong? What's going on Harry?"
"We should talk in the front hall Sev."
Panicking slightly, Sev shook his head, "No, talk to me here." He knew that their conversation could get bad, but he felt like if they were in the Great Hall then it was still just a safe conversation. Harry couldn't do tell him anything too reckless when they were surrounded by safety could he?
"Sev…" Harry pleaded but then let out a resigned sigh when he saw the look blazing in Sev's eyes. "Fine. I have to tell you that I'm leaving again."
Eyes narrowing Severus shook his head, "Why? Where?"
"I have to go and finish this Severus. I have to go and end Voldemort. It's only right, he's out there and he's killing people."
"Why do you have to do it? Why can't someone else? Dumbledore…or someone who isn't you?" Severus's eyes were begging Harry to tell him that he wouldn't go and that someone else would go and kill Voldemort.
"It has to be me. It can't be anyone else Sev. You saw that in my memories." Harry pleaded with Severus to see reason but Sev just kept shaking his head. "If I don't do this he will find me and kill me Sev. I've done too many things for him not to notice. I don't want too, but I have too."
"No you don't! You don't have too! We can hide…We can go somewhere, where he can't find us, please!"
Harry reached out to touch his arm and Sev grasped at his robes, uncaring of how many people were staring at them. "I can't do that. I have to end this. He'll keep murdering people Severus. You know that."
"You're going to go and try to kill him and he's too strong and he'll kill you! Do you want to die? I thought you loved me! And now you're just going to leave me and let yourself be killed? That's not fair Harry!"
"I do love you! I promise I'll do everything I can to come back to you Severus!" Harry's voice broke and a haunted look came into his eyes.
"Let me come with you Harry."
Harry shook his head urgently, "No! I would never allow you to put yourself in that kind of danger! I wouldn't be able to concentrate with you there. You must understand that!"
Severus ducked his head and whispered, "He's too strong Harry…You'll die and leave me here. I cannot handle life without you in it. You made it that way, and you cannot back out on that!"
A definite haunted look came into Harry's eyes as he recalled knowing the exact feeling that Severus would feel if he failed. He stepped closer and closed his eyes as he whispered, "I love you and I will come back to you Severus."
Trying not to panic horribly and beg Harry to stay with him, Severus turned his face away and didn't reply. He heard Harry's agonized sigh and voice whisper again, "I love you." Harry kissed him roughly on the space where his neck met his jaw and he could hear him walk away.
He knew they were gone when the chatter in the Great Hall picked back up but remained standing there, he didn't want to see that Harry was gone. It just wasn't fair!
When a hand tapped his shoulder his eyes burst back open and he gasped out, "Harry?" But it was just Lily's green eyes staring back at him in concern. He brushed her hand off and rushed out of the Great Hall into the Main hall, but he was too late and it was empty. Severus stared at the huge wooden doors and whimpered out a low, "No. I love you too."
He backed up and dropped onto the staircase behind him, his hands covering his face. He heard Lily walking up to him and then she was sitting next to him, "Sev? He'll be back. He…told us he just had to go take care of some business."
"No! You don't understand what he's going to do! He's going to…"
"Mr. Snape, there you are! A word if you don't mind?"
Severus stared up at Professor Dumbledore in bemusement, "Professor?"
"A word if you don't mind?" Dumbledore smiled his trademark patient smile at them and Lily stood with a whisper to Sev telling him that she would meet up with him later.
When he seemed to be sure that they were alone Dumbledore sighed and went to sit next to Severus. He pulled a small tin out of his robes and opened it, "Lemon Drop?"
"Are you sure? They're quite tasty!"
A little baffled by the crazy old man's insistence Severus stared at him, "No thank you."
"Ah well." Dumbledore sniffed and popped one of the muggle candies into his mouth before sighing, "I'm aware that you've found love with our young Harry."
"Yes…" Sev didn't even try to wonder how Dumbledore knew that. The infuriating old man just seemed to know things whether they were secret or not.
"And I gather he's shared his memories with you?"
"Then you must know how dangerous telling anyone about the real him, and what he's going to do is right?"
Severus looked down again, away from those piercing blue eyes. "I understand."
"Excellent. I wouldn't think to tell you not to be afraid for him Severus, but just remember that he's defeated Voldemort before. He can do it again. It's all in the power of love. And he is loved." Dumbledore stood slowly and dusted off his robes. "Be well Severus. And think rationally."
Looking down again Sev sighed, "Did he say how long he was going to be gone?"
When he didn't receive an answer he looked up and scowled when he saw that Dumbledore was gone. He hadn't even heard him leave. One day he was going to learn how to be that silent.
He stood and walked without caring where he was going. His body still ached from Harry's and his own lovemaking the last night and he didn't want to think that that would be the last time they would hold each other, kiss each other or be inside each other. His chin wobbled as he thought of the fact that he hadn't told Harry he loved him back before he left. What if he never saw him again? What if Harry had needed that bit of comfort to get him through what he had to do?
He went up to his common room, ignored a harried look Lucius who was apparently very late for classes and climbed up the stairs to his shared room. He sat heavily on his bed and leaned back against the headboard.
So what if he missed class, out of his seven years at Hogwarts he'd never missed class once, and now that his lover had gone off to kill the world's most dangerous wizard of the moment, he think it was okay if he missed some classes.
Shutting his eyes he let his nerves wrack his body. He didn't want to lose Harry, not when he'd finally gotten him. Sev had finally allowed himself to love Harry and just the mere thought that he was going to be taken away from him was unbearable. He'd never let himself love anyone besides him mother and Lily in her own special way, but he had never loved anyone with his whole heart.
They were supposed to be together forever, that's how he thought it. He couldn't imagine being with anyone other than Harry for the rest of his life. They were just made for each other. Bound together.
He shuddered at what he imagined Harry had gone through when he'd lost his older self in the future. Because it must have felt ten times as horrible as Sev was feeling right then. He swore to himself that if Harry returned to himself happy and unhurt he would be the best lover he could be and not just in bed. He wouldn't care what people thought about him, he would happily kiss Harry in front of the entire school, he wouldn't ever insult him intentionally, and he would do anything to see Harry beam at him in that beautiful and loving way.
He swore that to himself.
Harry stared at the top of his tent and tried to ignore Hermione and Ron talking across from him. They were a few kilometers away from where Voldemorts war camp was setting up and he could often hear the roar of multiple giants at once. It was giving him the biggest fucking headache and not much improving his moods.
He let out a loud groan and stretched his stiff muscles. They'd run into a few death eaters on their three day journey and it had been a long and pointless battle. Of course the three of them were more than capable of taking out two unsuspecting death eaters. They'd knocked them unconscious, sent Dumbledore a message that he could sort out what to do with them and continued with only a few wounds.
Hermione looked up at him in concern, "What is it Harry, is your scar bothering you?"
Trying to resist the urge to roll his eyes, Harry shook his head, "No I'm just eager to get this done and at the same time not eager. I wish Severus was here. He would just have slapped me upside the head and told me too snap out of it."
Looking a little shocked, Hermione tutted and Ron chuckled, "He wouldn't have...Oh who am I kidding of course he would have."
"Are you guys going to redo the bonding ceremony?" Hermione asked curiously, her eyes bright with interest and excitement.
Harry gave her an astonished and amused look, "Hermione, Severus is barely talking to me! I doubt that we'll be talking about getting bonded again for a long time!" He looked at Ron in amusement and saw him chuckling silently.
Obviously not even trying to resist rolling her eyes, Hermione rolled hers, "Oh Harry! He was scared and upset that you were leaving! That doesn't mean that he doesn't love you!" Hermione stood and shook her head in an annoyed way. "Boys!"
Ron and Harry watched her flounce away to sit on her and Ron's bed, opening a book and reading it huffily. Out of the corner of his eye Harry kept an eye on her as he whispered to Ron, "What was that about and why do I think it was about more than me and Severus?"
Ron sighed quietly, "I don't know. I think she wants more of a…commitment from me…"
"Well? You've been together for a long time and friends for even longer. You love her and know that she's the one. Why not go for it?"
"I just want to wait for the right moment, when I know it's all going to be okay." Ron dipped his head and stared at the table.
Harry felt an immense amount of guilt flood into him and looked away. He could understand Ron waiting to ask Hermione to marry him and to bond their souls. They didn't know what would happen, they didn't know if they would all make it from the battle they were about to enter into and try to end.
He felt so bad for Hermione, she wanted the man that she had loved since she was eleven to make that great commitment to her and was confused about why he wasn't. But he felt worse for Ron. He loved Hermione so much, more than anyone realized and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and couldn't feel confident enough to ask her to marry him. He didn't know if he would be able to spend the rest of his life for her. He didn't know if she would live long enough for him to commit to her.
Sadly he reached across the table to grasp Ron's arm. He squeezed it firmly before standing. "I'm going to get to sleep."
He walked over to his bed and lay back heavily, fully clothed. His eyes were closed when Hermione spoke, "So tomorrow…Tomorrow is the day Harry?"
Letting out a low sigh, Harry opened his eyes and sat up resting on his elbow, "Yes I think that tomorrows the best time to do it."
She looked at Ron first, her face a torrent of emotions, sadness being the first and most prevalent on her face, and then down. "Harry…We…I am very sorry for the fact that you have to k-kill Voldemort again, just because we brought you back in time. I know how this tears at your soul and I'm just very sorry."
Harry looked at her gravely, "I'm not saying that it's not the worst part of being brought back but it must be done. I know you only did this out of love and you don't have to be sorry. I can do this, because it has to be done."
He lay back down and sighed, "I only wish that you two would consider staying here, away from danger…"
"Oh shut up Harry! We're with you in this and nothing you can say is going to change this. It's a little late in the game to be telling us to stay away from you." Ron snapped, but his eyes were twinkling playfully.
"Well said Ronald." Hermione grinned at her boyfriend.
Harry snorted and rolled his eyes, "If you guys were even a little sane you would have dumped me in the first year when we had to save Hermione from that bloody troll."
"Well I guess we're all insane aren't we?"
"And I was in the first year! It's not like I was going to be able to take down a fully grown mountain troll on my own! It's different now…throw me in a room with a troll any day and I could take it…"Hermione grumbled, angrily tossing her hair back.
Ron and Harry both burst out laughing, which made Hermione grudgingly smirk and then laugh as well. Harry basked in the warmth of just being with his two best friends and acting like it was old times. It wasn't farce or anything. It just felt so right that he was confused by it.
Before he fell asleep Harry made a silent promise to himself that he would devote more time to being with the two of them. Just being together like old times.
Harry stood in front of Lord Voldemort and stared into the bottomless black eyes and marveled at the fact that he didn't look like he had before. He still had the hollowed out face, extremely pale skin, black bags under his eyes and wild, crazed look in his eyes. But his face hadn't adopted the snake like look it would have in the future.
"Who are you?" Voldemort asked his eyes staring at Harry disdainfully.
"Does it matter?" Harry asked lightly, pacing back in forth but keeping his eyes locked on Voldemorts.
"Why are you here? I haven't heard of many Americans that are interested in my efforts to clean up the wizarding world."
With snort, Harry smirked, "Is that what you're calling it these days?"
Voldemort sneered at him, his fingers tightening on his wand. "I could kill you before you could even raise your wand little boy, disrespectful!"
"You really think you could? Hm. That would be an interesting thing to find out wouldn't it?" Harry smiled playfully at him.
The first sign of intrigue and curiosity hit Voldemorts eyes and he cocked his head slightly to the side, "Who are you boy? What do you want?"
Letting a playful sigh Harry shrugged in almost a comic way, "I'm afraid that I'm not here on good terms Tom."
"You dare…How do you know that name?" Voldemort asked fear and shock flashing across his face.
"Well you travel back in time and you just kind of know stuff."
"What do you want?"
"It's not what I want…But it's what I have to do. And I'm sorry Tom but I don't see you atoning for what you've done." Then he lifted his wand quickly and saw Voldemort repeat the move just as quickly.
But his wordless spell and the power of the elder wand was far too unbeatable and Voldemorts wand flew in the air and clattered to the ground at the same time that it's master body hit the ground, a look of complete shock on his still features.
Harry stepped over to the body and slowly closed the lids of Tom Riddles eyes. He felt like the move was symbolic, like he was not only shutting the eyes of the one person that could have completely ruined his life again but like he was shutting a door on the past, on his past and all the bad that had happened.
It was time for him to move on his life, to move on in his life with Severus.
When the door to the large, almost dark room that he was in burst open he jumped up his wand flying forward. But it was just Hermione and Ron looking a little panicked. "Harry! We have to go, they're coming!" Hermione yelled running towards him.
Ron grabbed one of her hands and kissed her fiercely, when he pulled back she looked a little dazed. "Hermione, will you marry me!?" he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a small box at the same time that his head was spinning around to look at the door they just came through.
"Oh Ron! Of course! I love you!" Hermione yelled and then she was the one kissing him fiercely and as though her life depended on it.
After letting out a brief chuckle and rolling his eyes at the way his friends seemed to like professing their love in dangerous situations, he realized they couldn't stay there any longer. "Let's go." Harry grabbed her free hand and pulled her out of the room. They ran along the mansions long hallways and up the stairs as far as they would go. He spotted a balcony and kicked the doors open. He could hear the roars of the Death eaters as they found they're master dead and then footsteps flying up the stairs after them.
He looked over the edge of the balcony and then up at the sky seeing a bright flash of red. He said quickly, "Both of you grab onto me now!" When they did as he said, Harry jumped onto the ledge and then jumped off. He could hear Hermione scream in his ear as he raised his hand up into the air. His fingers closed around smooth feathers and he yelled, "Home Fawkes!
The phoenix let out a musical call and then darkness was all he could see.
Severus was sitting in the Great Hall trying to force himself to eat some toast when he heard a girl let out a loud scream and looked up. A tall brunette girl was standing ram rod straight up staring down at what looked like a daily prophet.
He glanced at Lucius and then back at the Hufflepuff girl. She was getting louder and louder as she spoke to her friends until everyone else in the hall could hear her yell, "He's dead! They found He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named dead! He's dead! He's gone!"
The hall was silent for a long moment and then an enormous amount of chatter rang out across the hall and people reached for their own newspapers. Soon people were hugging and sobbing into each other's shoulders happily.
Sev took a deep shuddery breath and realized that a tear was threatening to fall down his cheek. He was aware that many of the other students at the Slytherin table looked less than happy, but he felt like he was going to faint.
So Harry had succeeded in killing the dark lord, but where was the news about him? Was he okay? Did he survive? He took a deep breath and stood without thinking, looking around when he thought he heard someone call his name. But he couldn't be sure of that as the roar of celebration was still too loud to hear anything.
He looked around when he heard it again, then heard Lucius laugh once and looked at him curiously, "Do you hear…"
Lucius rolled his eyes and nodded his head towards the teachers table. Sev turned his head slowly and his heart stopped when he saw what he'd been dying to see for four days.
Without a thought, Severus ran up to him at the same time that Harry moved towards him. He threw himself into Harry's arms and let his tears flow freely into his shoulder. "Oh my god. Bloody fucking hell Harry. I was so scared! So worried…" he lifted his head and saw that Harry was smiling a watery smile at him.
"I'm alright. I wasn't going to leave you. I never will, I promise. I love you and I've missed you so much." Harry sniffed, his hands rubbing up and down his back.
"I love you too, I'm so sorry that I let you leave without telling you that. I'll make it up to you. I'll tell you I love you ten times an hour!" Severus apologized.
Harry chuckled, "Oh Sev…"
"Don't say anything! You'll ruin it…Just kiss me." Then Sev flinched when he realized that he'd insulted Harry again. "Or I might. Just kiss me."
"I was hoping you would say that!" Harry whispered as he dipped down.
Sev sighed in relief when Harry's lips pushed onto his and heat pushed into his mouth. He tipped his head to the side and let Harry slide his tongue inside. They kissed slowly and studiously, as though trying to re-acquaintance each other's their mouths to the others. It was beautiful and perfect and they wished they would never have to stop but they could hear wolf whistles and chuckles from the crowd that was apparently watching them.
Harry pulled back his eyes flicking to the crowd and his lips smirking. "We have an audience…Do you want to go somewhere they won't see?"
"Let them watch…"Sev whispered, his devilish smirk pulling at his lips and then he was pulling his face back into kiss him deeply.