An: I been getting some great reviews on all my stories on this site! I am excited and it's such a motivator for me! I think readers are beginning to understand my writing style and appreciate it.

'Spock Bigalow: Male Gigolo' and 'The Misadventures of Spock and Nyota' greatly reflect my comedic side, where as 'A Wrinkle in Time' and 'This Most Illogical Obsession' are more serious or sexual in nature to attract a variety of readers.

I am seriously going to try to be better at editing my stories. I do it myself and due to lack of time I can't get others to edit, but my readers deserve better! I might not be able to get everything, but no more glaring typos that could have been corrected by another run through.

Here is another story featuring my favorite alien I love to corrupt….Spock.

The idea for this story relates to what happen to myself as a kid and the movie shows how Spock was treated when was a child. (Tear)

Mamma Said Knock You Out!

It was 3:30pm and Spock couldn't find Kirk.

Despite the fact that there where only so many places one could be on a federation starship.

Looking at the ships logs, Spock could see Kirk was still in his room. Pressing the communications link, Spock called the captain.

Silence. Then Spock could hear the sound of woman breathing.


Without much thought, Spock knew it to be Janice Reeves, the new nurse Kirk had been flirting with since she started about a month ago. He had long since given up on Nyota after seeing her make out with Spock in the transporter room.

Normally, Spock wouldn't have kissed Nyota in public, and he told her that he did so because he was sincerely worried about getting killed by the Romulans. That wasn't true.

He wanted to show off in the front of Kirk, who treated him like an asexual creature without emotion.

"Captain the Vulcan ambassador will be arriving here in a few minutes. It would be logical for you to come and prepare to great them." Spock was startled when Kirk spoke into the com rather loudly. His voice was husky and rough.

"Yeah man! I'll be right down, just finishing up!" Kirk ended the call and Spock was left in his office wondering just how in the hell was Kirk able to assume command of the ship. What did Captain Pike see in him to even make him first officer?

Spock regretted he allowed Kirk to reveal that he was emotionally compromise something that a mere human couldn't not have done, if it had not been for Spock Prime.

Spock hadn't spoken with Spock Prime for some months and wanted to check up with him again. Was the Vulcan colony successful? How many were living there?

As soon as he was granted shore leave, Spock planned to take Nyota with him and go to the colony.

( Few minutes later)

Spock, Kirk and Bones stood in the transporter room awaiting the arrival of the Vulcan ambassador and his entourage.

Not one time did Spock ever consider just who might be either be the ambassador or a member of the entourage.

It did not matter until…

The group was beam aboard.

If Kirk and Bones were better at understanding the hidden dynamics Vulcan emotions and facial expression (no matter how subtle) they would have able to see that….

Spock was NOT please.

The ambassador was a young Vulcan around Spock's age, as were the two Vulcans standing next to him.

Spock's fast beating heart seem to beat even faster upon seeing their faces.

"Greetings ambassador T'lou, I am Captain James T Kirk of the Enterprise. Welcome aboard." Kirk shook the ambassador's hand completely unaware of the Vulcan dislike of having their hands touch.

The ambassador saw Spock, but said nothing, "It is a pleasure to meet you. I brought along two members who recently graduated from the Vulcan Science Academy, Saren, and Tavok. They were recently on a survey mission for the Academy."

Spock remembered his father pressuring him to attend the Vulcan Science Academy and his refusal following a rather racist comment by one of the counselors. He could still remember the words:

It's truly remarkable Spock, that you have accomplish so much despite your disadvantage.

To what disadvantage are you referring?

Your human mother.

Those words burned through him like a sharp Vulcan dagger and without thinking he rejected the offer to attend one of the most prestigious academies in the galaxy. When Spock rejected the offer, he had made history as the first Vulcan to ever do so.

But that wasn't what was getting to him now.

It was the three Vulcan men.

They were the same men who tormented him as a child.


I Presume you have prepared new insults for me today?


This is your 35th attempt to illicit an emotional response from me.

Your neither human nor Vulcan and therefore have no place in this Universe.

Look he has human eyes. They look sad. Don't they?

Perhaps an emotional response requires physical stimuli.

(Pushes Spock)

He's a traitor you know for marrying her…that human whore!

It was T'lou who insulted his mother by calling her a whore and Spock without thinking pushed him and continue to beat him until several teachers pulled him off.

And yes, it took about seven teachers to pull Spock off T'lou.

When he told his father what happened Sarek said nothing, but Spock knew he wasn't happy with how his son was being treated. Logic, however, dictated that Spock needed to just ignore it and deal with it.

Spock tried but couldn't.

The boys insulted his mother with a variety of horrible names. They called her a whore, a dirty human, inferior, illogical, dumb, and evil. And called his father even worst. It wasn't just the children either, but their parents. Spock had been one of the few Vulcan/human hybrids in existence and no one knew exactly what to do with him. All those hybrids that were born on Vulcan left with their parents soon after because of the harsh treatment, but Sarek wanted Spock to have a Vulcan identity and so he stayed.

No matter what Spock did, no matter how higher his grades were than the other students, how he excel at Vulcan arts and discipline, in the eyes of his people, he was inferior.

Several adults inform Spock that because he was half-human he could never be a Vulcan, his human blood made him dirty. At first, Spock told his parents of his treatment and only his mother made any attempt to do anything about it. She went to his school, talked to the parents, and try to explain how pained her to see him being treated like Frengeni trash. But it did not help. It only made Spock a bigger target.

So after a while Spock convince his parents that everything was alright and he was doing fine..

He was lying of course, but what could one do?

Now these same men that made his life a hell on Vulcan stood before him now. In vain, Spock hoped that time would heal all wounds and perhaps these men had change their ways. Until, Tavok opened his mouth.

"Greetings, Spock, I wanted to see you ever since I learned you rejected the Academy's offer to join them. What a shame! Who knows we could have been study partners." Tavok said these words with a straight face and Kirk didn't understand the hidden sarcastic slyness behind it.

Neither did Bones. Vulcan ways of cutting down each other were easily hidden in their logical ways of talking, but Spock understood and tried again to suppress his anger.

"Yes, it was most unfortunate I wasn't able to go, but I was accepted into Starfleet and graduated at the top of my class." Spock responded.

If they want to have a Vulcan ribbing contest….then bring it on! He thought to himself.

Kirk and Bones said nothing. They were under the impression everything was fine and invited the men to dinner.

"I had my cook prepare a nice Vulcan meal. Spock is our go to guy on all things Vulcan." Kirk joked and the men followed him to the dinning area.

The three Vulcans exchanged glances.

"Spock is your go to man on all things Vulcan?" T'lou asked rhetorically. "I didn't think Spock was capable of understanding our ways. He has been living among the humans for so long."

Kirk noticed the tone in the Vulcan's voice, but said nothing. He couldn't figure out what was going on, but Spock once again fired back.

"Yes, I've been living on the Earth for sometime. The humans have a variety of different cuisines thanks in part due to their diverse populations. I have had the privilege of sampling some of their food and found it to be most satisfying."

I am ready! No more Spock the punk! Spock remembered that the word 'punk' indicated someone, usually a male who was weak and timid. Spock was neither.

The men sat down to a Vulcan meal with no meat. Bones hated Vulcan food as he was carnivorous as they came, but had to respect all those who were different than himself.

"So what news on the neutral zone? I understand you where there recently." Kirk asked and noticed Spock position himself to sit directly in front of T'lou. It was unusual because as commander, Spock was supposed to sit at the other end, but thought it was something Vulcans did.

"The Klingons and the Romulans are nearby. We don't know what they plan to do, but I would keep an watchful eye out. Wouldn't want another problem with the Romulans, do we Spock?" T'lou was hinting at the events that happen just a few months ago with Spock Prime and himself.

T'lou so sneaky under all the Vulcan facade he was an asshole.

"No, we don't want any problems with the Romulans." Spock commented.

The doors opened up and Nyota walked in.

She had been invited by Kirk to join in the meal since her shift was over. Normally, it wouldn't have been a problem, but Spock didn't want to deal with the Vulcans knowing about his relationship with a human woman.

Nyota greeted the Vulcans in Vulcan and sat next to Spock.

"You speak Vulcan very well." Commented Tavok. "Who was your linguistics teacher at Starfleet?"

Nyota winked at Spock whose face began to blush. This wasn't what he wanted.

"Spock, is the only Vulcan in Starfleet right now and I learned Vulcan from him. In fact, I learned a lot about Vulcan culture from Spock."

Nyota had no clue what she stepped into.

None of the humans did.

The Vulcan gave Spock a teasing stare, "We usually don't share much about our Vulcan culture with outsiders, expect for the sciences. I would be interested in knowing what you have learned."

Spock wanted to reach into Nyota's mind and prevent her from talking. She was walking into a cleverly disguised Vulcan trap.

Nyota beamed.

"Well I learn how to play the Vulcan lute, some ancient and more emotional dialects of Vulcan, the martial arts, mediation and…."

"Pon Farr?" Saren interrupted.

Spock's face was red. He hadn't told Nyota about Pon Farr and wondered as to why they would bring up such a taboo subject.

Nyota was confused.

"No, I haven't heard of Pon Farr what is it?"

The Vulcans were teasing her. Saren looked at Spock, "You haven't taught her everything Spock."

"All of this reminds us of how Sarek met Amanda. Did he not first introduce her to his culture before he betrayed his people?" Tavok spoke his last lines in ancient Vulcan so not to disturb the mood at the table.

Spock eyes flashed his deep seeded hate for the three of them.

Nyota, Kirk and Bones now knew something was up. Everyone knows when a ribbing contest was taking place, no matter what the species. It was just interesting that the species going at it was the Vulcans.

Spock decided to change the subject, "So Tavok, I took it upon myself to read the Academy's records and see that despite entering around the same time I went to Starfleet, you are still a student. What happen? Were your grades not sufficient enough? If I was there I could have served as your tutor." Spock spoke in common and Nyota's eyes widen.

Spock was getting more and more hostile. It was still very Vulcan and unrecognizable by human standards, but she knew her Vulcan boyfriend well enough by now to know when he was piss off.

Tavok put his glass down, "The Vulcan Science Academy grades its students at a much harder level than Starfleet. You see, we want the best students to graduate and work in our society. Perhaps that is why you left."

Spock grind his teeth.

"It's perfectly logical for you Spock to want to indulge in the human need to achieve especially when one does not deserve it. We all just assume you embrace your human desires when you left Vulcan."

The tension between the Vulcans was slowly rising.

Kirk wanted to say something, but what? As a human he would be too emotional in his handling of the situation and Vulcans despite the ribbing and insults were still so…logical.

"It was logical to cultivate multiple options." Spock repeated the words he said to the counselor the day he rejected the offer to go to the academy.

"What a human response. We have also heard that you and the Captain engaged in some sort of physical altercation after the destruction of Vulcan and the death of your mother. How illogical!" Saren looked at Nyota. "And here I thought it was over this human female."

"Your father was the same way about human women. Always, trying to justify his desires for them and his reasons for getting your mother pregnant. He should have known what would happen." T'lou slipped his drink.

Spock remembered his father explaining his reasons for marrying his mother as a child.

As ambassador to Earth it is my duty to observe human behavior. Marrying your mother was…. logical.

It was only after his mother's death did his father give the real reason for marrying his mother, a more logical and truthful reason…because he loved her.

"I want to ask about the Vulcan colony. Have you been there?" Spock again attempted to change the subject, his mother wasn't someone he wanted to discuss.

But the Vulcans had other plans.

"Why? You left Vulcan and your heritage like your father did when he married your mother. The colony is fine and things are going to plan, but I don't think you will be welcome there." Tavok said coldly.

Kirk now felt he had to step in.

"You don't speak for all Vulcans. Spock has every right to visit as you do."

Spock appreciated his friend standing up for him.

Once again Saren looked at Nyota, he had to admit that this human was very aesthetically pleasing. , However, Tavok's cousin T'Pring was just as beautiful.

"T'Pring is fine." Saren interrupted and now Spock realized he would have to get stern with these men.

Why bring up T'Pring in front of Nyota, unless they had figured out by now that he was involved with the communications officer.

"I understand that she survived the destruction and is now living on the colony." Spock had to by Vulcan etiquette talk about T'Pring, she was after all his former fiancée.

Nyota look confused. Who was T'Pring?

"My cousin is now living on the colony with her family. I guess she didn't want to give into the 'fad' of giving birth to hybrids like Sarek." Tavok oddly use the human word 'fad' to describe the romantic relationship between Vulcans and humans.

"I am not understanding this word 'fad'." Spock inquired.

"I thought you would considering your life on Earth. The word references to something that a group of people think is either acceptable or fashionable. Until of course, their children come home crying from being tease due to their poor genetics."

Kirk was getting pissed as was Bones.

"Who is T'Pring?" Nyota asked.

The Vulcans looked surprise. Spock hadn't told her.

"T'Pring was Spock's fiancée, his chance to honor his people and breed out the inferior human genes that his father polluted his bloodline with. However, T'Pring met another full-blooded Vulcan and rescinded the offer." Saren slipped his drink.

Spock hands began to shake.

"T'Pring and I were not compatible. I regret I did not tell you this before, but I thought it was unnecessary." Spock tried to cover for the oversight, but was pleased when Nyota didn't seem to care.

"Oh, well. That's fine!" Nyota wanted to snapped and curse the Vulcans out, but Spock maintained his cool, so she did.

There wasn't much Spock could do when it came to his human half. So he decided to swing it back to the academics.

"You know Saren, I managed to review your public profile at the academy and I must say I don't have a clue as to how you managed to even graduate. Usually, students graduate within three years, but you have been in the academy for as long as I was teaching at Starfleet. I been teaching for about six years now." Spock was slick with his comments just like an educated Vulcan would be.

Major Burn!

Saren could say nothing.

Tavok and T'lou stepped in.

"Like we said before the academy have higher standards."

"No they don't and that doesn't explain why neither Tavok nor Saren managed to get no higher than a primary score on their exams. And here I was about to come in with several advance scores and bypass the beginner classes. So much for inferior genetics."

Spock's human side was showing itself like a woman's slip.

Kirk wanted to laugh. Spock was insulting them so…logically.

Nyota was turned on.

"You know those classes that you scored so low in were actually very easy…even by human standards. I am sure even Kirk could have pass them." Spock had to burn Kirk.

He owed him one.

Kirk wasn't offended just curious as to how this was going to play out.

"I can see that you haven't fully managed to control you inferior human genetics. You have a sharp tongue which gives into the human need to always get a point across. But I know you can't help it." T'lou could see Spock was indeed getting more and more upset, not only him but the humans too.

"You are insulting not only Spock, but also us. We are your hosts and would appreciate if you would not say that we are inferior because we are humans." Kirk demanded.

The Vulcans ignored him.

"I must give my sincerest apologies for the lost of your mother, I must say that I am sure your father will find a suitable replacement for her. After all human women are a….what is that human saying…a dime a dozen." Tavok chuckled, it was a Vulcan form of chuckling meant for the cruelest of insults.

The image of Spock's mother falling off the cliff flashed through his mind, he had tried to save her, his arms reached out to her, but she fell to her death as he stood there helpless.

Everything flooded back at once and Spock remembered all the reasons he left Vulcan.

He could hear the insults.

He could taste the blood in his mouth after a fight.

He could smell his mother's vanilla scent.

He could see her bright smile.

He could feel her touch.

His senses were alive and his mother's face flooded his mind and overwhelm him. She had been until he met Nyota the only one who understood what he was going through, the torture, the humiliation and if his father was here he would have sat there and said nothing.

Just like he did when the counselor told him that his mother genetics was a disadvantage to him as a student.

Just like he did when Spock came home bloody and bruise from fighting.

Just like he did when the Vulcan High Command at first rejected his application because of his wife.

Just like he did when the other Vulcans refuse to resumed a friendship with him after marrying his wife.

Just like he did when his mother fell off the cliff.

How could he be a Vulcan now? How could he sit here and let these Vulcans speak so cruelly? Why was his human side urging him to fight while the Vulcan side urge him not to?

The inner conflict was tearing him up inside and Spock didn't know what do to.

He loved his mother. He loved his father. He loved Vulcan. He loved the Vulcan culture.

He was Vulcan in every single way that mattered and now to have another Vulcan tell him that he was inferior insulted him. It was giving rise to the primitive, violent nature of his people that only few outside of Vulcan ever knew existed.

This conservation would NEVER have went pass the first insult back in the old days. In those days, Spock would have killed them all with his Vulcan dagger.

But he was a Starfleet Officer.

"Captain may I be excuse?" Spock asked as politely as he could. His face trembled, his hands shook, his lips quivered and all he wanted to do was to jump across the table to beat the shit of all three, just as he done as a child.

Nyota once told him a old saying her people had when it came to dealing with those who insulted you, "MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT!"

It took Spock a long time to realize what it meant. Why would a mother instruct her children to fight and not go by the more logical way of trying to resolve the matter peacefully.

But now as he sat there he understood what Nyota meant. Sometimes words just don't do the job.

Sometimes you just had to let people know you're not the one to be mess with.

Spock wasn't the one.

He didn't lower his head to no one.

He didn't run from no one.

He feared NO ONE.

And wasn't about to let a Vulcan insult his mother. Especially, when it had been his mother who cared for Tavok for a time when he had gotten ill with a Vulcan virus, and his parents were gone during one of their Pon Farr honeymoons.

How quick people forget about the kindness given to them by others, but Spock knew Tavok would never admit that Amanda took care of him as a child. Since, Tavok and Spock had been friends until Tavok became friends with T'lou and Saren and turned against him.

Kirk stood up his face was red with anger, "No! Spock I don't want you to leave. I want these illogical fools off my ship! You have insulted my commander and myself with your foolish and childish ways. I am going to make a report and send it to your superiors. No one talks to Spock like that!"

The Vulcans eyes widen.

"Very well we will leave." The three men got up and headed from the transporter room.

Just when it seem that Spock was going to walk away from this without incident did Saren turn around and said something that was completely rude, unnecessary and un-Vulcan.

"I wonder how your children are going to turn out with this human woman you have now. I always thought it was a disgrace that a Vulcan male would find sexual satisfaction with a non-Vulcan female. Perhaps being half-human you don't have the Vulcan stamina required to satisfy a Vulcan female. Not like Saren being full-blooded and all. During Pon Farr, I could hear your father ravishing your whorish mother like the world was going to end!"

To say that Spock was piss off would be an understatement.

Getting a paper cut would qualify you as being piss off.

To hit your big toe on the edge of the door would qualify you as being piss off.

To be attack by Romulans would qualify you as being piss off.

To be lost on the other side of the Universe due to a poor navigator would qualify you as being piss off.

Even having your physical attributes mock would qualify you as being piss off. (The list goes on and on)

But when someone talks about your mother, call her a whore, say she is inferior and then talk about her sex life knowing that she died a horrible death only a few months ago. That does something to you, Vulcan or not that can't be explained.

Inside Spock's mind, the logical Vulcan side pack up its things and sat in the corner as the human side unpack and took its place.

It was time to throw down.

Before Kirk could say anything, Spock dropped kick Saren to the ground and began stomping him like he was a piñata who had tasty Vulcan candy inside. Saren struggled to get up and fight, but Spock was stomping his ass like his life depended on it.

Nyota stood back and laughed nervously.

T'lou tried to sneak up on Spock but Spock moved his head and punch T'lou without ever facing him.

He hit him so hard, that Kirk thought he felt it.

Bones stood next to Nyota. None were going to interfere, Vulcans males were just too damn strong. Kirk knew that first hand.

Tavok wanted to jump in, but Spock pushed T'lou into Tavok and kept on kicking Saren. Saren's body look like a squashed bug and he bellowed in agony for help.

Tavok moved the injured T'lou and hurled himself at Spock pushing him into the wall. Spock however, quickly gain the upper hand and jabbed the Vulcan in jaw.

From that point on everything seem to go in slow motion.

Spock jumped up and appeared to float in the air and extended his foot to connect with Tavok's head. Tavok's body twisted and spun around.

T'lou attempted to get at Spock but the half-human-half Vulcan, swung both his arms and hit T'lou's throat. The Vulcan gasped for breath as Spock began his barbaric assault of kicks, punches and scratches.

It was pathetic but most of all sad watching one half human Vulcan beat the logic out of three full blooded Vulcans males.

When it was done the three Vulcans sat in a blooded pile completely unable to move.

But they weren't dead.

Spock stood over the heap with one foot proudly standing on top (remember those Captain Morgan drinks 'Got a little Captain in you?' With the knee?) seemingly proud of his accomplishment. Like a predator with his prey.

It was something only a half –Vulcan hybrid like Spock could get away with.

Kirk and Bones clapped their hands.

Nyota smiled.

"Let's get these bastards on the transporter and beam them the hell out." Kirk drugged the battered bodies along with Bones on the deck.

Spock was still shaking.

His human side pack up its things and allowed the Vulcan side to assume command of him again.

"My actions….are regrettable" Spock mumbled.

Kirk motioned to the transporter room attendant who was curled up in the corner when the fighting started to energized and send the Vulcans back on their ship.

The bodies of the Vulcans laid on the deck and the moaning sounds they made was pathetic but also funny.

When they had beam away, Kirk slapped Spock on the back.

"You are a better man than me Spock! I would have never let them get away with all those insults, but you kept your cool."

"Until the end." Bones joked.

Spock was ashamed he should have let it go, but anger got the best of him.

"I am deeply sorry. It would appear as though I became emotionally compromise."

Kirk smiled, "Yeah, it happen to us humans too, but we call it getting piss off."

"I should have let them leave."

"No Spock, kicking their asses and then beaming them back to their ship was the logical thing to do."

Spock looked at the Captain.

"Logical?" He asked.

"Yeah hell it was logical!"

Spock thought about it for a moment and then said, "I guess no one is perfect."

Kirk nudged Bones, "Nope, no one is perfect not even a level headed, keep your cool Vulcan like yourself."

The three humans laughed and Spock guess it was a joke given what just happen.

"Come on Spock, I need to teach you something." Kirk chuckled.

"Teach me what?" Spock asked.

"How to insult someone like a human!"

An: I hope you like. Sort of sad, but funny too. Let me know what you think. Peace!