Royal Caribbean

Hello my faithful readers! (and hopefully some new ones as well) I was planning on a cruise as a sequel to The Island, that was my big idea, but I figured that House and Cuddy already had enough drama happen to them on the island, and afterwards as well. Since I don't want to put them in that much bad luck, I thought I'd try my luck out on a cruise story. I hope it hasn't been done already! I always like to try for new things. As always, everyone will be in character, and there will be drama. That's always two things you can find in any one of my stories.

Enjoy :)


House sat in the cafeteria, listening to the little handheld radio while he ate. He wanted to bring his TV, but the batteries were dead.

"Why didn't you just put the radio batteries inside the TV?" Wilson asked when House told him that same thing.

House reached across the table and grabbed a handful of Wilson's fries. "Wow, aren't you a rocket scientist."

Wilson sighed at the absence of most of his fries, but didn't say anything. He should've expected that to happen by now when sitting at a table with House. He should also start learning to leave his wallet in his office.

"I need to borrow twenty bucks," he said, exposing the palm of his hand in the middle of the table.

"What for?"

"There's a ruby red apple over there that I'm dying to get my hands on before someone else does."

"House, the apples are fifty cents."

House looked surprised. "Really? Since when? Don't you just love when there's a discount that you don't know about?"

"They've always been fifty cents."

House waved his hand, dismissing the subject. "Killjoy. I think someone took it anyway." He pointed to the radio. "This idiot on the sports channel keeps advertising these cruise tickets and it's starting to get on my nerves. I want my TV back."

"What cruise tickets?"

House shrugged. "Oh I don't know, I really wasn't paying attention. There's this really hopped up cruise liner called Royal Caribbean that takes off out of Miami something or other and lasts about a week going to all those places down there, wherever they are."

"Hmm. Sounds like you weren't paying attention."

"It's hard to ignore when there's a commercial every ten minutes and for the entire duration of the commercial, some idiot is talking about giving away free tickets if you're the right caller at some particular time of some particular day."

"Free tickets? You didn't mention that part. You should try for it."

"Yeah, because I just love the salty sea air and the wind blowing in my face, surrounded by a bunch of rich snobs who walk around on boat deck, arm in arm, complaining about seasickness, even though they should be used to it by now, because it's probably their twentieth cruise or so. What a great idea you have there," he said sarcastically, eating a fry. "I'll take Cuddy with me and we can stay up all night watching the stars from a tiny little circular window in a shoebox you call a cabin."

Wilson held up his hands. "Okay, fine, don't call. You don't have to make an issue out of it."

"I should try calling, just to shut that guy up for five seconds. I even have the damn number memorized."

House pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number right after the commercial was over. "If I win them, you can have them. Take Cuddy. I'm sure she likes that old people shuffle board game—Hi, this is Dr. Gregory House, I hear you have cruise tickets being given away for free." As if it wasn't bad enough to hear this guy on the radio, now he has him on his phone. "Now, I know I have no chance in winning them—wait, what? Are you serious?" House sounded less than thrilled. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, pal, I'm sure you say that to all the people who call in." He paused to let the excited man speak about how he was the tenth caller after the commercial was over and that he won two tickets to be on the voyage of the Royal Caribbean next month. House, like always, didn't believe anything these people said. "I'll believe you when they're in my mailbox in two to three days."

House slapped his hand over his forehead as he was directed to a woman that would be taking down his name and address so she could mail the tickets out. After he was done giving out everything she needed, he hung up.

"House, you won!" Wilson said, unable to hold back his excitement.

"What I won is a free brochure on his stupid Royal Caribbean liner. There's no way this moron is going to give away free two thousand dollar a piece tickets to some loser who calls in on the tenth try. That works with t-shirts, Jimmy, not cruises."

"Then why did you do it?"

"Just to prove to you that this isn't real. That guy probably gets a hundred bucks for every phone call that comes in. He's making millions just telling people "oh I'm sorry, you're caller number nine" and hangs up."

Just then, House's voice came on the radio. The conversation House had with the announcer was now being publicly heard on radios everywhere—or at least ones that get the station.

"That's it, folks, you heard it for yourself, Dr. Gregory House has won the tickets!" the announcer said, sounding as if he just won a million dollars in that single phone call. "For weeks this contest has been going on. Many of you have written in, and many of you have waited until this minute to call, but it was lucky Dr. House who had called ten minutes after twelve and became our tenth caller! Congrat—"

House turned off the radio before he could hear the rest of it.

"How did you know when to call?"

"I didn't," House said. "I told you I wasn't paying attention."

"Looks like it was a hot contest."

"Yeah, well, if it's real, you can have them and take Cuddy."

"Why do you want me to take Cuddy so bad? There are other women on this planet who would like to go on a cruise, House."

"Cuddy deserves a vacation, even if it's spending time with you."

"Oh great, thanks."

"Seriously, the woman works hard, you said so yourself…once upon a time. I think that was when you were going to take her out to that play, right? How did that go, by the way? I hear her funbags were extra perky in that tiny black dress she wore."

"I wasn't looking at her breasts, I was watching the play."

A small smirk appeared on House's face when he saw Wilson's cheeks get a bit rosy. "Yeah, right. Don't lie, you know you want to sample some of that ass."

Wilson cleared his throat while dropping his head.

"Having a nice conversation about who gets to share my ass?" Cuddy asked, coming out from behind House.

"It's selfish you would want to keep it all to yourself," House said, not caring that she overheard them talking about her. "I mean, damn, the thing's big enough to share."

Cuddy leaned to one side and folded her arms, much like she always does when House makes a snide comment about some part of her body.

"What? You going to spank me, mommy?"

"House, your lunch ended twelve minutes ago."

House's eyes widened in surprise. "Wow! Look at that Wilson, I have a babysitter again. Feels so like elementary school. Did you seriously just come in here to tell me that? Do you have the hots for me and watched me all hour to see what time I came in?"

Cuddy chuckled in amusement.

"Either way, I don't mind. Why don't you sit down and join us? I'll tell you story about my newly much admired cruise tickets I won on the radio."

Cuddy looked somewhat interested. "Really?"

"Yeah, but it was probably some scam to get my name and address. You know how people are these days."

"Get back to work. Your team has been paging you for the last half hour and then they started paging me. I'm too busy to be looking after you, House."

"Yes, mommy."

Cuddy stormed away after that. House made sure to get a glimpse of her ass as she walked quickly away in heels. His smirk turned into a bit of a smile.

"If those tickets are real, are you seriously considering asking her to go?"

"You saw it yourself, she was interested." He slid out of the booth. "Now I really hope those tickets are real. Spending a week with Cuddy inside a shoebox? Yum."

He limped away, hoping the next two to three days came quickly so he could check his mail.


"Wilson," Wilson greeted.

"You'll never guess what I'm holding right now," House said, sounding as emotionless as ever.

"Depends. Where are you? And that better not be a double meaning."

"No, you idiot, I got the tickets to the cruise this morning."

"Wow, really? So they're real?"

"I called the information number and supposedly they are. I got this welcome book that's thicker than the phonebook and some other crap that I've yet to dig through."

"Are you really going to go?"

House took a seat on the couch and took the thick welcome book into his lap. "I don't know. However, I do hear that cruises are the number one hot spot for single men and women."

"Figures you'd see it that way. You should take Cuddy."

House groaned. "Seriously?"

"The poor woman hasn't had a vacation in all the years I've worked at that hospital. Plus, you saw how interested she looked when you mentioned the tickets."

"She's got that kid now. She has no time for cruises."

"There's only one way to find out. Ask her when you go in today."

House wanted to take Cuddy, even though it is typical to see a guy boarding a cruise ship alone. But since he had two tickets, it's best he use them and not have them go to waste. There was always a chance she'd say no because she was either too busy or would be caught dead hanging onto his arm.

House arrived at the hospital and instead of going straight up to his office, he walked into the clinic just in time to see a flustered Cuddy pivot around from the nurse's station and head back into her office.

"What's up with her?" he asked, stealing a red lollypop from the jar.

"Who knows," Nurse Brenda sighed, tossing a chart into the bin. "She's been on edge all morning. I think she needs a vacation."

"Or just some cheering up!" he said in a happy voice and walked into her office in time to see her take a seat at her desk that was just about piled up to her ears in paperwork. House didn't bother knocking as he walked into her inner office, ripping off the plastic to the lollypop.

"I'm really not in the mood for your pleasantries," she said, working on organizing the charts and papers.

"What happened? Hurricane season? Or did you have some random guy in here last night and you pushed all the papers off your desk in the heat of the moment and just decided to clean up now?" he asked, popping the lollypop into his mouth.

"Go away."

"You know what you need, Dr. Cuddy?" He walked closer to her desk.

"An all access pass to a day spa with no pagers or cell phones allowed and the absence of a certain diagnostician?" she offered.

"Well you got the first part right. The second part though, I can't help you with that. You'd have to be with me. Unless you want to sleep on the upper decks. We only get one room."

Cuddy frowned heavily at him. "House, what are you talking about?"

He exposed two movie theater-like tickets in his hand, holding them up for her to see. "I've got tickets to a cruise."


I know it's starting off a little slowly, but it'll pick up for sure! Just give it some time. Let me know what you think and thanks for reading :)