Confessions/Romantic Oxymoron...

Jazmine sat in her bedroom tears on her pillow and a deep pain in her heart. Why, she couldnt understand. She love Terrel with every ounce of her heart but she swears on the every relationship she's in, she might love Huey more....

As she sat up wiping away the tears she pulled out her book of original poems/confessions and began to write what she was feeling. No matter the situation, writing a poem, or a confession always seemed to help. And right now that was everything she needed. She picked up the pen that lay on top of her night stand and began to write about Huey.

"As much of an ass hole he is and as much as it hurt me to watch him kiss his girlfriend I think I still have enough courage to say this to myself, I love him too much to let him go but I love him enough to let him choose her over me. Its Huey's choice and I have to accept it whether I like it or not."

She felt her heart break suddenly. He and his new girlfriend have been together for almost 5 months. They seem to really love each other, he even bought her a necklace on their 3 month anniversary. But there is a good side to it. When he has a problem he comes to Jazmine first. Thats good right? They've been best friends since they were 10 years old and things couldnt have been better. Right?

"Jazmine focus. This is no time to be thinking about him right now. Your relationship might fall apart soon if you don't pull yourself together." she said to herself. She took a deep breath and started to writ e again.

"I love you, but I don't.

I'd kiss you, but I won't.

I tell you most things, but I'd leave stuff out.

This isn't how I wanted it to be, our relationship is in doubt.

You do stupid things, that would usually make me laugh.

You ask if we could chill, after last time I'll pass.

Some days I want you here, the rest I want you away.

I can't stand having you around, but I'd still want you to stay.

I don't want you close, but I font want you far.

I have you in my life, but no where near my heart.

I can't figure it out, why I hate loving you.

Your ten shades of gray, and my skies are blue.

I put you above some people, yet your so far below.

How bout we start over, I'll go first by saying 'hello'.

Should I leave you forever, to find some one better?

I feel bad because of how I treat you.

Compared everyone else, they'd all beat you.

But then I feel worse, letting my past get ahead of me.

To watch you suffer, cause I'm so cold so silently.

I've made my choice, I'll stay with you

I love it when you gone, but I hate how I miss you.

I won't hold your hand, but I'll leave you a note.

I hate that I love you, but I love how I hate you so,

I'll keep loathing our love, to keep me sane.

You'll never be my heart, but always my pain."

When she finished her heart sank some and came back up in the form of more tears. She couldnt help it. She had two loves. One for her man, and the other for her best friend.

"Damn! Why does my life have to suck so bad!?" she screamed.

"Because your unsure of what your gonna do next." a smooth bass tone said from her doorway. Her heart jumped.

"Huey wat are you doing here? Wait when did you get here?" she asked wiping the tears away. She didnt hear the front door, or hear him come up the stairs.

"You mom let me in. Were you cryin again?" he asked closing the door and sitting in her computer chair.

"Maybe a little bit. But wat do you need?" she responded straightening herself out.

"I cant come visit when I want to anymore? Do I have to make an appointment to see you?" he said sarcastically. Jazmine smiled and shook her head lightly.

"No Huey you don't. But everytime you come over you need some kind of advice. I'm getting used to it." she said.

"Not today. Besides, Faye is out with her cousins tonight. And we never finished that game last time. I was close to winning." he smirked. Jazmine threw a pillow at him, which he easily caught.

"I was about to win. Poker has always been a Queen Jazzy D. specialty." she gloated.

"Alright i'll give you one thing, the second round you got me pretty good with that hand. I was wonderin where all the kings went." he reminded.

"And you never paid me either. I still want my fifty bills." she laughed. Huey rolled his eyes and laughed too. Then the room got quiet, like an awkward silence. "So you wanna play now or somethin else?" Jazmine asked breaking it.

"When was the last time we played solitaire?" he asked. Jazmine perked up.

"I have no clue. We should play like right now." she said reaching for the cards on her nightstand. Huey rolled the chair to the front of the bed in front of the trunk that lay at the edge. Jazmine handed him the cards to shuffle and then she laid them out.
They played for almost twenty minutes before they were stuck. They searched the cards then they looked at each other and laughed.

"Damn, I'm lost." Huey said looking back at the cards scratching his head.

"You and me both." Jazmine sighed. Then she moved the Ace of Spades to and empty spot and began to jump up on her bed. "Ah! Hahaha! I am the shit!" she smiled. Huey looked at her with his mouth slightly open and bored eyes. He sat back and folded his arms across his chest. "Aw don't be mad Huey. Its only a game." she said standing up to hug him. When she wrapped her arms around his shoulders he turned his head so he wouldnt face her. "You mad?" she cooed.

"No," he answered in a low tone.

"Then why are you pouting?" she asked. Huey turned around quick and looked her in the eye.

"Im not pouting. I don't pout." he said.

"If your gonna be in denial then be my guest. Don't be mad cuz I'm cooler than you." Jazmine flaunted. When she turned around to sit back down Huey grabbed her and forced her to sit in his lap. He held on tight as she struggled to break free. "Wait, wait! I take it back! I take it back! I'm sorry!" she giggled.

"Dont lie! You always talkin trash thinkin I wont do anything cuz your a girl. I don't think so!" he laughed.

She wriggled out of his grasp only to have him get a hold of her shirt and roll the chair to her bed with him still in it. She plopped onto the bed with a bounce and Huey dragged her back by her ankles when she turned to face him their eyes met. A small gasp escaped her lungs then she couldnt breathe. Then she realized she was holding her breath. She released the breath caught in her throat in an almost silent sigh. Her eyes broke from his slowly. Before they could make it back up she felt his lips press softly against hers.

At first she didnt know what to do. Her mind told her no whereas he heart told her yes. He broke the kiss and they just stared at each other. Then Huey stood up quickly and took two steps back with a shocked expression.

"Uh...Jazmine...I didnt....i mean..." he stuttered. She laughed nervously and put on a weak smile.

"No, no! I'm alright. want to finish playing or...."she started.

"Um. I'm jus gonna head home. You to make sure Riley aint tearin it up." He said almost tripping over her rug.

"Alright i'll see you tomorrow?" she asked.

"Sure. Um....jus call me before hand." he said opening the door. Jazmine walked up behind him and opened the door wider. He turned to face her and their eyes locked. "" he asked.

"Yeah! Around 0ne? Maybe?" she added.

"T-t-thats cool." he stopped. The awkward silence came back and he turned away quickly. "See ya Jazmine. Bye Mrs. Dubois!" he called rushing out the front door. Before Sarah could respond he was already gone.

She went upstairs and gave Jazmine a confused expression. Jazmine shrugged. Sarah went into her room and closed the door. Jazmine turned to hers and closed her door as well. She leaned against the door and she could still feel her lips tingle and her heart raced. She just kissed her best friend. Now she wondered....."Will we ever look at each other the same again?" As far as she knew, only time would tell.