Lord of the Ring Pops
The TRUE Story
(following the movie not the book)
It was a sunny day in Middle Earth when Frodo was skipping along the old path. He was singing merrily when suddenly, BAM! Gandalf ran over him with his horse drawn carriage. "Owww…" Frodo whined in pain as Gandalf stopped the carriage. "Oh Frodo, sorry lad, didn't see you there cause your short and all." Gandalf said as he got out of the carriage. Frodo got up and brushed the dust off of his coat when Gandalf exclaimed, " Frodo, I heard Bilbo's party is coming up soon eh?" Frodo replied "Sure is, I'm in charge of the guest list,"
"I knew Bilbo wouldn't trust you with food duty after the cake incident last year, all those poor little hobbit children…"
"It was an accident Gandalf!"
Gandalf started to smirk "Suuuure it was,"
Frodo began to smirk back and then the two cracked up laughing. Frodo got in the carriage and the two rode off. Riding off the found that annoying little hobbit brats started to crowd around as they rode. Gandalf smiled as he sent fireworks off. One hit a chubby kid but he wasn't hurt too bad. They rode on forward to where pavilions were being set up. A big banner that read "Harry Birthday Bilbo" was being strung up and two hobbits were arguing over the spelling of 'happy' just below it. Frodo and Gandalf rode on still continuing their conversation.
"I don't know what you did to get Bilbo to try Pepsi, but ever since his little caffeine episode you've been officially labeled as a disturber of the peace." said Frodo.
"All I did was dare him, I had no part in him going that far." said Gandalf smirking.
Then they came to Frodo's stop as he emptied from the carriage Gandalf waved, and signaled the horse to go on. MEOW, a cat sounded off as it's tail was run over. Gandalf rode on passing trees, shorties (hobbits) and shrubs. He at last came to Bilbo's house. He passed a gate that was hung with a sign reading "No entrance, beware of Chihuahua". He walked up the stepping stones to the door. Knocking politely as he hummed Viva la Vida.
"GO AWAY! I don't want to buy any flippin' cookies!" shouted Bilbo from inside. "Well, that is NO way to treat someone as old as I am." said Gandalf laughing.
"Gandalf! Oh sorry, I thought you were one of those darn girl scouts." said Bilbo opening the door, "Come in, come in."
Soon the two were inside as Bilbo kept offering tea and cheese. Gandalf went to turn his head when - ZAP! Gandalf shook wildly being electrocuted then fell to the floor. " Oh yes, and do be careful of the bug zapper there, kills the bugs as well as brain cells." said Bilbo from the kitchen. "Thanks for the tip," said Gandalf sarcastically rubbing his temples as he stood up again.
The day continued on as normally, though most folks were excited for the next day's events. And well enough the morning rolled around and preparations for the party were well on there way and set up. Folks began to arrive as soon as food rolled out, and Frodo set up his pathetic lemonade stand just out side of Bilbo's VIP pavilion.
"Lemonade miss?" Frodo asked.
"Yeaaaah- no thanks kid." said a hobbit woman.
So the day rolled on as night became to surround and Gandalf could finally start his fire works. Everyone was amazed as bright blues and greens filled the sky and disappeared leaving only colorful smoke that had guests choking as the smoke became to overwhelming. Then Merry and Pippin ( two strange hobbits ) had an idea, a well devised plan that they had been dying to try out. The two snuck out to Gandalf's cart and stole a cool looking fire work, the two soon enough snuck off to a little tent in which they stood it up and asked around for a match, and sure enough some guy selling used watches had offered them one. So the two went to light it just after they lit it they realized… they were in a tent! The both of them ran off but not soon enough, the fire work blasted off and threw the tent up in the air with it. Singed and coated in soot both lied there. The firework blasted off into the sky becoming a little too fast, it didn't stop going up! Up, and up it went. Then the moon shook as the tent was out of sight. … silence. Then the moon exploded, on the ground Merry stated nervously "Pippin… where is the moon?" Pippin got up and ran "RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" "Hmm?" Merry answered, then a strong grip grabbed at his shoulder. "What are you doing with my fireworks Meriadoc Brandybuck?!" shouted Gandalf. "Uh, um… it was Pippin's idea!" Merry replied. "Likely story," Gandalf answered, as he walked Merry by the ear past Frodo's lemonade stand. He was sitting there sighing that he didn't have a nickel from his little stand. Gandalf was confused as he asked "Frodo, I thought you were managing the guests?"
"I did too, until Bilbo said that I ' wasn't qualified to match faces to names. ' as he put it." said Frodo disappointed. "Oh, well I can see where he's coming from." said Gandalf. "What!?" answered Frodo. "Uh, hehe. Maybe I should … go. BYE." Gandalf said rushing off. Soon Frodo noticed Bilbo was ready to give his speech, he knew because just behind the pavilion Bilbo was doing that weird high school musical warm up thing. Bilbo fluttered his hands in front of his face and made noises like he was cold. Frodo got excited, he could finally go in as he followed Bilbo into the pavilion. "Hey hey hey, no one gets in without a VIP pass bub." said a security guard. "Oh no I'm with Bilbo, I'm his heir." said Frodo.
"Yeah, and I'm an elf. Nice try kid, get out of the way for the other guests that want to see the speech."
"No, really! I'm REALLY related!"
"So is almost every guest here, have you noticed?"
"C'mon! You gotta let me in!"
"No way punk."
"BILBO! OVER HERE, BILBO!" screamed Frodo waving his arms franticly trying to push by the guard.
Yet alas, he walked away with a black eye, but he didn't stop there. Frodo snuck to the back of the pavilion's fencing and hid behind a bush to listen in. Then he heard Bilbo stepping up as he peered above the bush enough to see Bilbo's back.
"Friends and family, welcome, I do hope your enjoying everything." Bilbo stated standing on a stool.
The crowd answered back a variety of answers so it just sounded like a blur of voices.
"Well, that's good. So ANYWAY. Umm…" Then he took out an index card. "Welcom-er … uh…" he flipped through some cards and continued to blurt out random sayings. He eventually got so nervous he was sweating! No one knew but he was thinking "It's time to get outa this joint!" Soon he was just gone! The VIP crowd and Frodo were amazed that he has just disappeared but it was so. Gandalf tracked the foot prints to his little home to find the old coot sitting down in a chair.
"That was some trick right there," said Gandalf.
"It was wasn't it?" said Bilbo proudly.
"A little to amazing for a hobbit to pull off hmm?"
"I, I, don't know what it is your talking about."
"Spit it out short stuff! I have an appointment at 9 o'clock that cannot wait!"
"Ok, ok! Shhh though, I have.." he paused fiddling with something in his pocket.
"Go on! Out with it!" Gandalf hurried him along.
"Ok, but it's a secret. I have… a magic ring pop."
"Ah, may I have a look at it?"
"NO! It's my candy… yes, mine… my own… my preciousssss…" he hissed quietly.
"I think you've had that sugar far too long, Bilbo!"
"NO! It's mine! What do you care of what I do with my things?! YOU JUST WANT IT FOR YOURSELF!"
"Bilbo son of Sheldon!!! I'M NOT TRYING TO ROB YOU…" there was a pause as Gandalf continued. "I'm gonna be your bestest buddy eva."
Bilbo ran over and hugged him "Alright girlfriend, " he said gay-ish.
With that Bilbo said "OH! I forgot, I must be getting on the road. My reservation in Las Vegas says I have to be there by 12pm tomorrow." with that Bilbo gathered his things and opened the door. However just before leaving Gandalf stopped him "Bilbo… the ring, … it's still in your pocket." Bilbo hesitated his reply,
"Oh, why… yes. It is," he got it out and held it suspended in front of him.
A long moment went by….
"Just do it already! I'm late as it is!" shouted Gandalf.
Then the ring pop dropped to the floor. Then Bilbo walked to the path way out the door, sighing he said, "Oh! And I thought of an ending for my blog… and he lived happily ever after, 'til the end of his days." Bilbo stepped to the ending and started whistling 'We are the Champions'. Gandalf sat down and sighed "Crap, … I missed my dental appointment." Just then Frodo walked in. "Heeeey, Gandalf! Good to see ya pal, hey did you see where- Ewwwwww. I stepped on some old ring pop. Ick! It's stuck to my shoe." he said skidding his shoe on the ground. "Don't do that!" shouted Gandalf plucking it off Frodo's shoe and putting it in Frodo's hand. " Keep it safe… keep it safe... wait, I said that. … Never mind, but just don't tell anyone!" Gandalf said. " I must hurry along now, many questions to answer. Adios."
Frodo asked " Wait! Where are you going?!"
"To answer many questions, … wait. I said that already too… never mind!"
And with that… he was off. Frodo stared at the ring. He was alone, Bilbo and Gandalf had left, and the party had ended. Little did he know his adventure was just to begin.