The next day Frodo got up and yawned. He scratched his head. "AH! It's stuck in my hair! IT'S STUCK IN MY HAIR!" he cried grabbing at the ring pop. He ripped it out…
"Ewwww." he sighed going off the dunk his head in the creek. Then soon as he stepped out onto his path, he ran to the creek. By the time it was late afternoon, Frodo had gone about his day normally, and night was falling. He stepped up the old path to his hole calmly when- DUSH! A horse coming full speed trampled him, causing him to land flat on his face. Gandalf stepped off the horse, and exclaimed " Oh, Frodo. Hmmm. You seem to get run over often, oh well. Good news!"
"What is it, Gandalf?" said Frodo getting up.
"I know something you don't know! I know something you don't know!" he chanted.
"Go on, tell me! Pleeeease?"
"Fine, fine… but inside first!" he said rushing Frodo in. He ran to the shutters and closed them, and then locked the door. Running back he halted. "Ok, ok. Do you still have that ring?"
"Uh… yeah, I do…"
"Good. Let me see it."
Frodo handed it to Gandalf whom now was examining it. Then he flicked it into the fire. "AH! NO! What are you doing!? IT WAS STRAWBERRY!" shouted Frodo!
"No, wait…" said Gandalf, glaring into the fire. He then picked it out and handed it to Frodo. "Quick, lad, what do you see in it?"
"No! No! On the plastic of it."
"Hmm…I do suppose-"
"WAIT! I see markings. They are a type of German. I can't read it"
"Yes, there are few who can," he paused, "they read 'One ring to rock them all, One ring to find them. One ring to bring them all, and in darkness blind them. Err, BIND them, sorry. I'm getting old as is my sight." he continued, "It is the ring of the dark lord Sauron. This is the one ring. It must be destroyed!"
"But…but, …" Frodo spoke up, "it's strawberry."
"No time for complaints. We must go! The enemy knows of it's location!"
"Well…" *wavy flash back portion*
Shows Gollum being tied up to a plank of wood.
Gandalf's narration : " Though you, Bilbo and I knew of the ring, there was one more whom knew… Gollum he is called… and he was then found and was tortured by the enemy…"
Shows Gollum be tickled with a feather by an orc.
Orc : MWUAHAHAHA!
Gollum : AHH! Hahahaha! STOP! Haha, haha Bagains… SHIRE!
Gandalf : " Yes, so now the enemy knows… now, we must take our leave! "
*Wavy flashback ends.*
Frodo asked " But what of my family and friends!?"
Gandalf replied simply, "You may have family but friends is stretching it, would you say?" Frodo was silent. Then he picked up again, "Well… what of my home!?"
"WAIT… do you hear that?" said Gandalf creeping to an open window.
"WA-CHA." shouted Gandalf as he swung his giant stick into the ground outside the window.
"AH! OW!" said a voice from a bush.
Then it was no other than Sam Gamgee, listening in.
Gandalf chucked him inside and shouted "What have you heard!?"
Sam replied, " Nothing much… something about candy though! And Gandalf you know how I love food!"
"Uh! FINE. If you must know… we have candy." Gandalf suddenly sprang up in epiphany, "I know what to do with you!"
Soon the group was on their way packed and ready to go.
"Where are we goin' ?" asked Sam.
"To Riven-burg." Gandalf answered.
"Oh" smirked Sam. "WE'RE GONNA SEE ELVES!"
Gandalf answered, "Yes, yes, but this is no time for tourism! We must be hasty and-"
"Do you think we'll see Santa?!" interrupted Frodo.
Hours and miles later they were still in the woods.
"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? " whined Frodo and Sam. "NO! NOW STOP ASKING BEFORE I DECAPITATE YOU!" screamed Gandalf. "Well it looks that SOMEONE skipped breakfast." said Sam.
As the three of them continued walking Gandalf halted, " I gotta ditch these dorks soon… I can't take this much more!" he whispered to himself. He turned to face Sam and Frodo. "Heeeeey, Frodo, Sam. I gotta go, there. Without you… cause' uh… I am needed. Over there. Meet me at…" he looked around. Staring at a wild pony going by, he quickly answered "The Prancing Pony Inn! Yes, yes. Let us reunite at the Prancing Pony Inn." he said. "Ok." answered Frodo. And with that Gandalf raced off at full speed northwards, he laughed "Those gullible losers," and disappeared over the horizon.
"Well… my map says we're…" then Sam picked up his map, "exactly two miles west of the Prancing Pony Inn…" " Oh we can do it!" shouted Frodo, and with that ran off to a field screaming "D-d-d-d-d DORA! D-d-d-d-d-d Dora, Doraaa the Exploraaaa, Dora!" An hour later their cheer had left and they were wandering aimlessly through the corn. "Frooooooodo. Froooooodo! FRODO!" shouted Sam. "What now Sam?!" answered Frodo.
"I have to go!"
"NO! I mean GO."
" Oh… NOW? Why?"
"Well FIRST of all I -"
THUMP! Just them Pippin' and Merry ran into them with stolen corn in their hands. "Oh, Frodo, what are you doin' here?" asked Pippin'.
BARK BARK BARK. The farmer's blurred voice was sounding as well as his dogs.
"RUN! IT'S THE FARMER AND HIS CHIHUAHUAS!" screamed Merry as they all scampered through the corn to the edge of cliff.
"Wait… a Chihuahua?!" shouted Frodo confused, and he halted. Unfortunately, Sam, Pippin', and Merry didn't know he stopped. Therefore they ran into him, and forced all of them off the cliff and onto the dirt road. Followed by many 'OOFS' 'ACKS' and 'THUDS'. They laid there, some getting to sit up but they were just pushed off a cliff, what do ya expect? Sam suddenly screamed, "MUSHROOMS!" then all but Frodo dug in. Pippin and Merry stuffed them in their mouths leaving none for Frodo as Sam finished them. Frodo looked back and said "Uh… sorry to disappoint… but those aren't mushrooms, they're poison ivy fungus." Then all three spit out the strange food and brushed their tongues with their hands, Frodo all of a sudden heard this weird noise. A high pitched, shrill, and odd sound. But he turned to see only that it was Sam blowing a duck call. "Would you stop that!?" asked Frodo. So Sam stopped. Then, Frodo heard something clattering on the road. "GET OFF THE ROAD!!!" he shouted. So all three scampered and hid under a hallow and fallen tree not to far form the road they were just sitting on. JUST THEN, a limo came down the road and halted. The window rolled down and Brittany Spears was there, "Man! I swore I saw some midgets here. I need directions, ugh. JUST GO DRIVER!" she shouted then she was gone. Pippin' poked his head out, " Phew, that was a close one eh?" he sighed. THEN, clattering arose down the road. "GET DOWN GET DOWN!" cried Sam as Pippin' jolted his head down. Soon a rider all wearing black halted his horse. OooooOOOOOo. He mounted off his horse and sniffed. He turned his head to wear Frodo was hiding. GASP. The black horseman then peered under a conveniently located bed. Then he took out a walky talky and said, "Nope, they're not here. YES! I checked under the bed! Uh huh, ok. Well keep up the search!" he hung up and got to his horse then rode off. "Phew, a closer one I'd say." said Pippin' as they walked through the gates of the nearest town. They walked into an Inn, called 'The Prancing Pony'. SO they sat down in the downstairs bar/check in thing place. A weird old dude was slouching at the front desk as Frodo came up and asked "Is Gandalf here? We're on a secret mission. And we gotta meet him… here. You wanna know what the mission is? Oh wait I can't tell you… I forgot. I can give you a hint! Ok we are going to-"
"Just check in kid, I don't have time for your little secrets."
"ok." said Frodo and signed his name in the check in book."
"Psst. Frodo! FRODO! Don't sign your real name!" whispered Pippin.
"Oh! I got ya!" yelled Frodo. "WAIT. Frodo Bagains isn't my name!" He said taking back the book and scribbling it out. He then wrote Sam Gamgee in the space and gave a thumbs up to Pippin. Then the four sat down at a table.
Merry walked to get some beer and came back with a giant mug.
"What is that?!" asked Pippin whom was staring at the cup.
"This, my friend, is Coke Zero!" answered Merry excited.
"… I'm getting one!" said Pippin' and he ran off.
Later on Sam whispered to Frodo, "Psst. Frodo… I think that guy over there is gay… he's been starin' at you since we got here."
"Excuse me waiter," asked Frodo as the waiter came near, "What is that fellow's name, over in the corner…" asked Frodo pointing.
"Oh, well I don't know, but the tourist keychain he bought has the name 'Strider' on it." answered the waiter and then he walked to another table. Then Frodo heard something through the large crowds of drunken people. Pippin's voice!
"Why yes, Frodo Bagains, he's my second removed grandfather's uncle's niece's mother's cousin's nephew." he said drunken. So Frodo ran over to correct him, he was his third removed grandfather's uncle's neice's mother's cousin's nephew. But on the way Frodo slipped on some coke zero and fell backwards. He slammed to the floor noticing his ring pop was flying upwards he reached for it, BUT it landed on his finger and POOF. HE WAS INVISIBLE! Frodo got up, "Whoa, does anyone else feel light headed?" he asked into the crowd of gaping faces gathered around him. DUSH! Frodo was wacked in the head with a chair!
"AHHH! GHOST!" cried that Strider guy as he swung the chair at Frodo repeatedly crying ghost! He chased Frodo up stairs and continued striking him with the chair. Then Frodo removed the ring seeing it seemed to cause his disappearance. "Oh… it's you…" said Strider realizing it was only the hobbit he was spying on. He dropped the chair. "Well, … sorry for , uh. You know … chucking the chair at you and all…"
"Owww," said Frodo catching his breathe from the running.
"Well, I'm sorry Mr. Gamgee… do you see my sarcasm? Do you? I've been working on it…"
"Uh, well I suppose I-"
"Oh! I KNEW it! I should've practiced more…. Ah man. Sigh…"
BAM! The door swung open as Merry, Pippin and Sam all charged in screaming 'get the ghost!' with daggers in hand.
"Oh…it's just Frodo…" said Pippin.
Merry dropped his knife, " Frodo! Heeeeey… didja see which way the ghost went?"
"Guys! There is no ghost."
"Oh, well then. I suppose we should leave you two love birds alone now don't ya think?" said Pippin. Strider shouted, "Ugh! We are NOTgay!"
Frodo looked up, "Speak for yourself!"
Pippin' stared at Frodo, "What?!"
There was soon a whole commotion, with various voices yelling at someone else for who knows what then Strider yelled " QUIET! " and the noise stopped.
"Well, I'm afraid we must now leave… I know what hunts you. They are close, yes, ever so close."
So they went next door into the other Inn, Best Western. There they slept. Sam looked at Merry as he pulled something out of his pocket and then got into his bed. "What's that?" shouted Sam obnoxiously.
"Nothing!" answered Merry.
"NO!" cried Merry as Sam got up tip toed to Merry's bed grabbed at the object out of his hands.
"Hahaha! Hey guys! Look Merry sleeps with a teddy bear!"
"NO! It's, uh… it's…""Who is this?" said Pippin snatching it from Sam, "Haha! It's a stuffed bear!"
"O-m-g! I have one just like it!" cried Frodo. Everyone stopped and stared back at Frodo….
"He, he… I mean… uh- good night." he said and flung back into bed and made fake snoring sounds. "Whatever…" said Pippin chucking the bear back at Merry, then Strider Flung out of bed screaming. "What happened?" said Sam. He panted before answering, "Oh… nothing. Just a dream…yes, yes. A dream he he he." he started twitching. "Yes… a dream." Sam slapped him, "DUDE! YOUR LOSING IT!"
"Huh? What… oh. Thanks Sam." he said. Now that they were all awake they couldn't sem to get back to sleep. So they decided to play 'I spy'.
"Ok… I spy with my little eye, something…gold… and round." said Frodo
"The ring?" replied Strider.
"Whoa, Strider! This is the 36th time you've won! Are you physic?" replied Pippin.
"Yeah, I know! Strider is like a professional." answered Merry as Sam nodded in agreement.
"Right again! Omigosh you are good, …ok! You will never get this one…"
"I spy with my little eye a round… and gold object."
" The ring?!" shouted Strider.
"YEAH! Whoa… you got I spy skills Strider." said Frodo. "Ok…I spy… a gold, and … uh, circular thing this time."
"Lemme guess …. The ring?"
"YEAH! Whoa! Right again Strider!"
"I spy a gold and-"
"Yeah! WHOA! You didn't even get the clue and you got it!""How about someone try and spy something, ok Frodo?!"
"Ok… Merry! You go!"
"Ok…. I spy with my little eye… something black, with swords, and … are angry with pillows! NOW GUESS!" shouted Merry excitedly.
"What?" said Strider as he turned to the direction Merry was watching. Then he saw to his horror that the black riders were currently stabbing pillows in which they would've been laying their heads in had they stayed at 'The Prancing Pony Inn'.
"AH! BLACK RIDERS!!!" screamed Strider.
"Hey you got it! Whoa! Strider! You are like really good at I spy!" said Merry clapping his hands.
"No! You fool! LOOK! They know where we we're going! They're tracking us!"
"Like… stalkers?!" shouted Pippin.
"Yes! LIKE STALKERS!" said Strider.
Merry dove under the bed as Pippin shivered on his bed. Frodo threw his blankets over his head and Sam hid behind Strider whom was now standing and staring out the window which faced the opposite hotel.
"We must leave!" said Strider. So they flew out of the town and into the forest.
They walked passing millions of trees, just waiting for something to change. They walked down and up slopes, around and over hills, and finally at sunset they decided to settle up on a hill. They made a little fire pit and Frodo was so tired he fell asleep as Strider went to scout the area.
So as Strider went out and Frodo was sleeping Sam, Pippin and Merry got bored. They sat there for an hour pulling stupid pranks on Frodo while he slept, like the old whip cream and tickle their nose thing. Then Sam remembered he had his Ipod! So he put the head phones in his ears and pressed play… however he didn't realize it was on high and it blasted sound waves through the area! This woke Frodo up as he starred at Sam… "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
Sam looked back at Frodo, "Well don't blame it all on me! It was Merry's whip cream!"
"NO IT WAS PIPPIN'S!" cried Merry.
"YEAH BUT IT WAS YOUR FEATHER SAM!" yelled Pippin.
"Well it was YOUR idea, Merry!
"NO! I mean your blasting music!? The riders are out looking for us! You gotta keep it quiet!" answered Frodo. But everyone just ignored him and they kept on arguing.