Those Days are Gone.

It's sad and ironic.

Sad because, well, Death is always sad, isn't it? I wouldn't know- I'm not used to it. No one should be. One death is enough for a lifetime, let alone two. But of course, I always get the short end of the stick. We all do. That's the way society is now- ruled by how much money you have and anything materialistic like that. So even if we beat them several times, they always win. That's just the way it is.

It's ironic because they both died Greasers, yet only one was notified Hero. Because only one was a Hero. This brings a whole new definition to the phrase "To the world you're just one person, but to one person, you could be the world." I still remember Johnny's big, fearful black eyes. I still remember the last words he said.

And I'm sure Dally does, too, wherever he is. His ice-cold eyes made us feel not-tuff-enough sometimes. Especially Johnny. Dally never even whispered a word of encouragement to him, keeping it to himself until the very end. I didn't know that Ice could be melted by the coldness of a situation like Death. Not until I saw Dally crumple under the street light. Next time Soda tries to put the ice in the freezer, I'll warn him about the over-heating it could cause.

I don't know- maybe I've got it easier than others. There are a lot of Greasers who've had to go through worse than me. Almost dying/getting seriously injured isn't exactly a huge surprise. Then again, I guess Death isn't either. But even if you expect a Death of someone, it's still gonna hit you just as hard when it really hits. It might take a minute, a day, or a year, but it will eventually catch up to you. If a thousand people die, you're only going to be mourning for the ones you love. So maybe that's why nobody else cared about Dally's Death. He wasn't loved for anything- in fact, most of society resented him. But Johnny- Johnny had saved lives! And to think, if I didn't act stupid the day I feel asleep on the curb under the stars, Johnny wouldn't have died. But then again, he wouldn't have been deemed "hero" either. And Dally probably would never have told him about how he was proud. I guess the bottle's either half empty or half full.

But when it comes to Death... well, It's never really half full. Nobody gets the benefit, because whether you die a Hero or not, you still die. And then it doesn't matter. If you remember someone in a positive way, it will only make you cry more tears. That is, unless you're a Greaser. We don't cry in front of others. We took pride in their Deaths. No wonder- they were the pride of us.

Things are different now. Just yesterday, I thought I saw Johnny walking out of the movie house. I almost lifted my hand to wave before I realized it wasn't him. It couldn't be. He's dead. It was just some other kid. The weird thing isn't even that I'd mistaken some kid for my dead friend. The weird thing is that I'd forgotten he'd died for a moment. I guess that even through knowledge, we still hold hope. I'm almost expecting to see Dally smoke a weed by the drug-store tomorrow. Am I naive, or is anyone else seeing this, too? Maybe.

I wonder what Dally and Johnny are doing right now. Maybe the stars are just bullet holes of the fight up there, similar to the one down here. Maybe the clouds are just puffs of smoke from their cigarettes. Maybe the moon is their way of making sure we won't forget them. I don't know how... I just think so.

It's odd now. Once in a while, somebody will bring up one of their names in a story. Everything will go silent. It's just odd. It's odd and awkward, especially since they aren't there. Not even Two-Bit cracks a joke to break the silence. That's when you know a situation's tense. But then somebody will break the silence with a polite offer or something, and the conversation will continue, silently, but no more stories.

Dally would say we were being pansies. Death was never a big deal for him- sometimes he'd cause it. Then we'd all shut up and start acting tuff because, as far as we'd be concerned, he was right. Johnny would say that there's no point in crying about it, that there are worse things in life to worry about than Death. And he would be right. There are, but it's hard to think about other things when you're at a Funeral. Death gives no one a break.

The Funeral- that was the only time I'd ever seen a Greaser cry without restraint. Damn, even Two-Bit. Darry tried to comfort me there, saying that it was all going to be okay. I told him that I knew. And I did know. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't live in the moment. Personally, I think he was trying to comfort himself more than me. If I were to tell him that I thought the world would be a bunch of flowers and sunshine, even through all of this, he could've believed it. He said it so I'd agree. If he heard somebody else say it, maybe he would know he wasn't going crazy. Soda cried like a baby.

So that's it. Death is made up of two elements- Sadness and Irony. Sadness because, well, Death is always sad, isn't it? I wouldn't know-I'm not used to it. No one should be.

But now everybody is.