Sorry I haven't posted in a but, so sorry. I was out...with Edward. Ahem...we were banging. *shrugs* So anywho, this chapter, Bella finally realises the link betwen the Quileutes and the satanic cult shit. So enjoy, I know you're all getting restless about finding more shit out. Relax! Next few chapters will be tying loose ends and finishing the story up. :)
"Say something," Edward finally murmured.
We were ten minutes from my house and I had remained silent the entire ride home.
I just...didn't know what to say.
I didn't know how to deal with what happened.
I was coming apart at the seams. "Bella, please!" Edward begged when I didn't answer. I looked up at him, his face was contorted into a stressful, grimace—one hundred and eighty degrees from his usual serene mask. I sighed and closed my eyes, resting my head on the headrest.
"I don't know," I muttered. He let out a sigh too, relieved that I had broken my abnormal silence. It was abnormal with him, anyway. "I don't know what to do." I admitted.
We were pulling up my street now.
He waited until we were fully stopped before he spoke again.
"There's nothing that can be done." He said, turning his entire body toward me. He took my face in his hands so I would look into his eyes. "Look at me," he demanded. I did.
"He knows about us." He stated, and just from that I could feel my pulse quicken and my breathing pick up. "But," he said quickly, realising my shift in emotions.
"We have dirt on him, things that won't be thought about too nicely by the police..." I frowned and held his hands to my face with his own.
"Edward, you're forgetting." I said seriously, in a low voice. "Jake may have tried to fuck me, but he didn't. All the while, you have been fucking me. The police, and my father for that matter won't think too kindly on that."His eyes tightened and I swear there was a darkness seething beneath the surface, threatening to break all hell loose.
I tried to calm him by taking another direction of thought. "Look," I said, rubbing the back of his hand.
"I guess...what's done is done, right?" He sighed and nodded, dropping his hands before opening his door.
He came around to my side and opened my door for me, taking my hand then escorting me to the porch.
Edward's protective nature was really tested today, after that little incident with Jacob, I doubt he'll let me do anything on my own now.
I doubt he thinks I'm level-headed enough to pour myself a drink—probably thinking I might have a breakdown. I hope he doesn't forbid me from driving my truck.
I mentally slapped myself. Of course he wouldn't...I didn't...think so, well anyways, if he did, he can't control me that way, and besides, it would look weird if he drove me to school. Life was tough when you had lunatics on your tail.
These days, with all the commotion going on around me...I'm just waiting for some crazed, frothing-at-the-mouth, Jesus fan to come and get me while I sleep. Luckily I had Edward last night—but he can't stay over all the time, he has a job, things he needs to do that don't necessarily involve me. He was staking all his energy on being with me, what would he have left after all this was finished and over with?
If, by some kind of fucking miracle, we both made it through this ordeal, would Edward still have a job to go to everyday? Even if our secret remained our secret, how can he guaruntee that his lack of work or attention will be looked upon kindly by his boss.
I hated the thought of him losing everything he's worked for. Especially if I was the reason he lost it.
I stepped into the doorway, he leaned over to peck me on the forehead. "Lock your doors and I'll be right back. I'm just going to park down the street." He informed me, his brow furrowing. "Alright," Was all I could think of to say. Where was my strength? All wasted on worrying about this Jacob fiasco.
How could I fix this mess?
I prayed to God it would fix itself. But I knew the Universe never made things that easy.
I bit my thumb nail as I paced up and down the hall way. Charlie isn't making any progress at work—For a moment, my mind went blank. I stopped pacing.
I was breathing heavily, my vision clouded. I mirror hung on the wall right in front of me. I was reminded of that day in the bathroom. The blood on the wall. I shuddered but my mind kept flipping through linking stages of the past month. It was finally doing the job I had wanted it to do—it was figuring it all out.
The words echoed in my head, haunting me with their meaning—'Bella Swan, you're next, slut.'. My throat was dry and my stomach was flipping around nervously. I pressed my hand up to the wall for support as it all came tumbling through the voids in my brain, gaining momentum.
The Quileute legends, the bloody threats—they were linked and I was too blind to know it.
I had read a story that would so easily explain all this nonsense, something that pieced it together before my eyes.
I hadn't regarded it as something helpful because I had been searching for something in particular.
I didn't look at the situation from all angles. I wasn't taking the cop's approach. I vaguely heard Edward walking up the driveway, the gravel crunching under every footfall. I was gradually losing myself. My mind delved deeper into the memories that weren't so pleasant.
The threats directed to me. They spoke of me dying horribly—something enemies did to each other.
Not someone with a grudge. I hadn't stopped to look at the bigger picture. I felt incredibly stupid for missing all of this.
Why hadn't I thought of this sooner? I was their enemy, pure and simple. They hated me with a passion, an intense, ancient hate.
The Quileute people spoke so fondly of their people and their villages—to have someone infiltrate and kill is inexcusable, obviously.
So what if they thought it was happening again? I know I hadn't killed anyone...but... They had called me a slut—something that was horridly offensive, but held a meaning beyond just petty name-calling. To them, I was a slut, devouring men every chance I got.
Years ago, according to the legend, there was a mysterious sorceress, one who preyed on the young men of the tribe. She lured them away from their families, having sex with them, and then killing them. However, she had no love for these men, which made it easy to do away with them.
She held only one love in her cold, dead heart, and it was for a man...one much older.
They...the cult, the people who were after me...they thought I was her. They thought I was Dask'iya. I gulped.
"Bella! Snap out of it!" Edward said, raising his voice. I hadn't noticed his hands gripping the tops of my arms.
I hadn't noticed he was even there. I tore my eyes away from the mirror and stared up at Edward, a sick feeling in my stomach. I couldn't help but match the parallels of Dask'iya, the ancient succubus, to me, Bella Swan. I had dated Jacob Black—a member of the Quileute tribe. But I had dated no-one since then, besides...Edward.
The killers must have known about Edward even before they attacked me at his home. I lived on the other side of their treaty line, so did Edward.
They thought we were...the 'cold ones'. The living dead, walking among innocent, oblivious humans, unaware.
They probably thought Jacob was lucky, having escaped from my clutches before I could eat him. But what about Jacob?
I mean, there was no direct evidence... My mind swirled around earlier today. He spoke in tongues, he knew I was sleeping with Edward and he harboured a fierce hatred toward me. Could he be responsible for all this? All this madness? And fear? Jacob Black? I shook my head to get a grip on reality.
My vision slowly went clear and now it was only Edward's face I saw. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
The look of anxious concern on Edward's face...it broke my heart to see him look so...helpless. I know that he's trying. He wants to be with me and keep me from everything bad in the world. Thats when I knew that I had to do the same for him. He can't know what I had just realised.
He can't know that Jacob could somehow be involved, if it were with the threats or attacking me—he could not know about it. The seething rage that he felt towards him were already astronomical. I knew what would happen if he found out about this, just another thing to add to the pile.
He would end up with a knife through his heart—Jacob. He wouldn't live past sunset today if I told Edward everything. Which is exactly why I wasn't going to share.
I was going to pretend that everything was the same as it was two minutes ago, before this earth shattering revelation swamped me.
Edward's hands moved to my face.
He leaned down, meeting his lips with mine.
After a few more hours, Edward had to leave me to go back home—he had work to do for school.
I hated that I was keeping him from doing his job, but he didn't care about it as much as he should.
"Give me an A," I winked, before kicking him out the door. My attempt at nonchalance was a great effort.
Edward knew I was preoccupied, that something was weighing on my mind. But if I couldn't tell him, who could I tell? Charlie? I considered my options as I readied Charlie's pot roast for dinner, he'd be home in an hour or so. I stared out the fogged window, into the dimly lit night outside.
I needed to be sure—implicating someone of something I couldn't be sure they actually did...it was wrong.
Without anything that could prove Jacob guilty of this, I would be at a loss because he would take it as an attack on my part.
He would retaliate. He would tell the world about Edward and me. I couldn't have that. Not yet, anyway.
It was much too soon.
I locked my window, paranoia was sweeping over me again.
And, after today, if Jake was involved, I couldn't not be more careful. I plopped down on my bed, full from dinner. I had taken a shower before Charlie got home when Edward was still here. I was already dressed in my pyjamas. I was ready for bed, for sleep.
But...it evaded me, as per usual when I was scared or upset. My mind was still working overtime, mulling over Jacob, Dask'iya and the fucking Quileutes. I collapsed onto my pillow, finding sleep after a few more hours of silent stewing.
I woke up all groggy and bleary-eyed.
Charlie had the day off today so he was still asleep when I poked my head in his doorway.
I sighed, gently closing it then made my way downstairs. I couldn't get my brain to just switch off like it had been doing, it wouldn't let me rest. I was cranky and lethargic from lack of sleep I had received nights prior. This was going to send me to an early grave, the stress that is, if the cult doesn't kill me first.
I was jumpy and on edge for most of the morning. I very nearly ran off the fucking road when I saw a guy that resembled Jacob on a motorbike behind me.
I pulled into the parking lot and got out, eyes searching for someone familiar. Someone, if not to tell, then to share my emotional burden with.
But there was hardly anyone around. And after a little thought about it, I realised that it would be selfish of me to do so.
I sighed, hugging my jacket closer around my body as I made my way towards the school. It was a fairly dry morning, no rain for once—the sun was shining, but that didn't stop the cold. I shivered under my layers of clothing, walking with my head down, glancing up now and then to keep a look out for him—Jacob.
The halls were teaming with teenagers, scurrying to get to their lockers without being squished in the process. I pushed through the crowds, only getting stood on twice. I found my locker and pulled it open, searching for my books then stacking them in a pile. Jessica appeared next to me.
"Hey, Bella!" she chimed. I turned to her with a less than enthusiastic smile. "Hey, Jess." I murmured.
She grinned anyway, not seeming to take my mood into account.
I could hardly blame her, I wasn't much of the happy type today.
She shouldn't let it get her down if I was a tad anti-social this morning.
"How was your weekend?" I asked, trying to keep her satisfied and all the while feigning interest in her petty, mundane problems. She started prattling on about nothing in particular. I managed to catch the gist of what she had been saying.
She had been on a date with Tyler Crowley and she caught him staring at her chest. I would have usually made a snappy remark, like, maybe she shouldn't have had them displayed on the table, but I just didn't feel the humour in me today.
I was lacking my spark. Jessica waved goodbye after she reached her classroom.
I stumbled blindly through the halls until I made it to my classroom.
Mr. Varner shot me a disapproving look for my tardiness. I would have usually cared, but...well, there were bigger things on my plate than getting my teachers to like me.
Maybe I won't need to bother getting to know them, anyway, if I'm just going to be killed.
I sighed and mentally chastised myself. That was no way to think. That would only make Edward furious with me and I didn't want him stressing out anymore than need be. I stared out the window through most of it, hardly aware of anything or anyone around me.
I wanted to see Edward again, Trig dragged on and on.
Afterward, I had Biology which was slightly less torturous. I was mildly relived that I hadn't seen Jacob all day, but should I take that as a good or bad sign? If he was gone, maybe he'd taken the threat seriously as intended, and decided to back off, physically.
Or he might not be here because he is trying to avoid confrontation with Edward if he's trying to plan something to do with me. What did they plan to do with me? I wondered. In the story, they had tried to capture her and burn her over a pyre.
I shuddered even though I wasn't cold anymore. I was suffocating.
"Could someone volunteer to go to the library? I need a text book I've forgotten." The teacher said, speaking to all of us.
No-one raised their hand so I raised mine, eager for some fresh air. "I'll do it, sir." I called, standing up.
He nodded, writing down the name of it on a post-it. I smiled in relief, my first real smile today—and it was for a teacher, not the one I'm with.
I frowned to myself. Not weird behaviour at all, Bella. I clutched the crumpled piece of yellow paper in my hand before freeing myself out the door.
I took a few deep breaths before starting down the empty hallway. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all. I wasn't supposed to be shuffling through the hallways on my own, even if the school said it was safe for me. Edward thought it wasn't. I peered around the corner.
The sunlight streaming through the windows on the left wall cast rectangles in the blue linoleum. There was nobody else here. I found myself growing more and more afraid of these benign looking hallways.
I had run into quite some trouble doing what I'm doing now. Idiot! I quipped myself internally.
If Edward finds out, he's going to be on the war path.
Who knows what he'll do.
He might break someone's arm just to get me a hall escort.
I sighed and shook my head at myself, I was being ridiculous.
I was fine.
I was safe.
Instead of stipulating on possible cult attacks while I passed the drinking fountain, I should be thinking about the Jacob problem and how it's connected to the cult. To be honest, I was losing patience with this whole thing. I wanted life to go back to normal...well, as normal as it gets for me.
I just wanted a world where Edward and I could be together without a hitch or anyone's judgement.
I wanted a world how we could hold each other in public and not be afraid of getting caught, I also didn't want him to feel anxious about me all the time, wondering if I had been abducted or not. I didn't want to be scared anymore.
I squared my shoulders as I rounded the corner—I will not be afraid anymore. These people can't take that away from me. I smiled to myself in triumph. As long as I had Edward, I could do this, all of it. And somehow, against all odds, we'll come out of the end of the tunnel unscathed.
I trudged determinedly into the library, pushing the heavy glass doors out of my way.
Our supposed social faux pas would blow over with time—if I really loved Edward, what everyone else though shouldn't count.
It shouldn't define our relationship. I had to admit, unwillingly, that we could have played this out better. Maybe waited until I was finished school before acting upon a full fledged relationship. But sometimes, things weren't just that easy.
Things could get fucked up too fast.
We didn't even have a chance at stopping it.
I had let my attention slip for a moment, just a moment. I hadn't realised that the library was empty—the little old lady that usually works at the desk must have been called to the office or something. But that was not what my eyes were trained to, it wasn't the empty desk that caught my eye.
It was the three teenage boys and what they were doing. Books ripped apart, paper everywhere, shelves knocked to the floor.
The place was becoming a fast dump. When on produced a silver lighter from his pocket—a familiar lighter with a naked woman engraved on it—I quickly realised that they weren't just trying to destroy the library, they were trying to light it on fire. They were trying to burn the school down. I gasped, unable to stop myself.
The three turned.
Jacob. Embry...and Mike.
So there you go. ;) But there are more surprises in store, don't you worry. And when I say surprises...I MEAN surprises. ;)
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