So. Yeah. ANOTHER one-shot. Pfshhht. They will NEVER get old.

I'm starting to fail more at titles than I am with endings. Oh well.


And have any of you ever watched the anime 'Kuroshitsuji'? IT'S THE SHIT. GO WATCH IT NOW.

Hey, Sasuke... Can I ask you Something?

If you had asked Sasuke how he thought his day would go this morning, he would have probably said 'hn,' and walked away with his hands stuffed in his pockets. But in Uchiha language, that means 'normal.' I think.

It was a very cloudy day, and Sasuke loved these kinds of days. It seemed whenever it rained, something significant happened to him. (A/N: SO NOT PROMOTING ONE OF MY ONE-SHOTS WHAT?!)

At this moment, however, Sasuke's day wasn't going so well, and had taken a turn for the unexpected as the previously fidgeting blonde spilled what he had been thinking about for the past couple days to a very unwilling Sasuke.

"How does sex work?"

For the first time since he met the tanned boy, the raven-haired Uchiha was absolutely speechless.


"Dobe. Why the Hell are you asking me this?" Sasuke asked in slight annoyance, frowning deeply and side-glancing at the tanned male beside him.

Naruto shifted in the Ichiraku stool awkwardly, avoiding eye contact and twiddling his thumbs.

"Well… Iruka said I was too young, Tsunade laughed in my face, and there is no way I am going to ask that pervy Jiraiya or Kakashi…" Naruto swallowed thickly. He really was curious, and no one would give him a straight answer! Was it really that difficult to say?!

Sasuke sighed loudly and turned fully in his seat to face the blonde. Seeing as adults are incompetent and Naruto had no parents, Sasuke would take it upon himself to help the dobe understand sex, no matter how troublesome.

"Usuratonkachi. Do you really, really wanna know?"

The blonde jumped happily, blue locked onto black, and he nodded furiously.

Sasuke sighed once more at Naruto's troublesome antics and closed his eyes, folding his hands in his lap before talking. Naruto unconsciously leaned in closer, not wanting to miss any word of the explanation.

"Well it's like… There's a line and a circle. The line belongs to us, the circle belongs to females."

Naruto frowned, not understanding one bit, but nodded anyway.

"When you stick the line in the circle, it makes babies. The end."

Naruto was staring at Sasuke silently, mouth slightly open. For a moment, Sasuke thought hopefully the dolt would just drop the subject. Before…


Poor Sasuke.

"Tell me the truth, teme! I'm a man, I deserve to know!"

Sasuke snorted. 'Man.' Yeah right.

"Fine. I'm going to be blunt. Don't you dare interrupt me or I'll leave. Questions will be asked after I've finished. Got it?"

Naruto's eyes once again lit up, and he nodded quickly, smiling like a fool.

That smile of pure joy morphed into a frown of pure disgust as Sasuke got further and further into his explanation. Shattering the innocence of Naruto with every word he spoke.

A good twenty minutes later, Naruto was green and about ready to vomit. He was supposed to stick his thing into a woman's what?

"…and that's how sex works." Sasuke finished, opening his eyes, which had been closed mid-tirade- so he wouldn't laugh at Naruto's reaction.

Naruto had gone completely quiet, mouth hanging off its hinges, and eyes wide and so innocent (even though Sasuke just destroyed that). He tried desperately to absorb the information, but none of it made sense to him. Why did sex have to be so complicated?!

Sasuke raised both eyebrows at the dumbstruck blonde, almost seeing the rusty cogs working in his miniscule brain.

"Naruto, have I scarred you for life? Are you finally going to become a mute?"

The Uchiha got no response from the tanned boy sitting across from him, whose look of stupidity transformed into a look of intense concentration. Sasuke thought vaguely that Naruto might hurt himself from extensive thinking.

"Oi, Earth to dobe?"

Still no answer, God, this is a waste of Sasuke's time. First he has to explain sex a complete idiot and now he has to watch as he tries to make sense of it all.

He'd rather be training.

"Alright, usuratonkachi. Come get me when you are done exhausting your brain. See ya."

Sasuke spun around on the stool, hopping off and landing neatly on the ground, just as he begun walking toward the flaps of the small restaurant, his wrist was grabbed.

Naruto blushed and looked to the side, releasing his hold on the other's wrist as Sasuke turned around to face him again. A scowl in place and hands on hips.

"I-I have another… question…" Naruto bit his lip cutely, and Sasuke could clearly see embarrassment written on his face.

What did the young raven-haired prodigy do to deserve this?

"Go ahead," Sasuke said in irritation, wanting to get this over with.

"What about… sex between males?"

Sasuke's eyes widened just a fraction, and his jaw went slack.

But seeing as the pale-skinned male is a genius, he composed himself rather quickly, and a smirk crossed his lips.

"Seeing as you aren't a good verbal learner…."

Sasuke paused, leaning in toward Naruto, who now had his full attention set on the advancing raven beauty. The young Uchiha put his hands on both sides of Naruto's stool, putting his face directly next to Naruto's- he tilted his head slightly so that his lips were brushing the blonde's pink ears- and whispered in the sexiest voice he could muster.

"How about we have a demonstration?"

An hour later, Naruto had a complete understanding of all things sex.

And Sasuke wasn't surprised in the least when it began to rain.

PAHAHAHA. MY STORIES ARE GETTING SO PERVERTED. Why does Sasuke always have to be a total pervert while Naruto is an innocent idiot?! WHY!? I'll have to change that in another one-shot...

God. I really need to pull my head out of this gutter.

I don't particularly like this one-shot. Can has feedback?

Oh and the rain thing was made up. It has nothing to do with anything that happened in the manga. I tend to bullshit stuff in order to better my own story. /Fail.

I'm so tired. D: SEE YA~

Oh and you know this question would come up between those two eventually. It was inevitable. :|