A/N: Thank you so much for reading! This is my first fan fiction and I am so excited to give this a try after years of ignoring my passion for writing. Right now the story is pretty tame, but my plan is for lots of lemons later. We'll see how it goes and were my writing takes me.

My inspiration for this fan fic was Wonderwall by Oasis. Go give it a listen it is referenced below and I think it is totally fitting to Edward and Bella.....just my opinion.

Disclaimer: All belongs to the wonderful SM, except for the lyrics below which belong to Oasis :). No copyright infringement is intended.

Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you

By now you shoulda, somehow, realized what you gotta do

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

Back beat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out

I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding

And all the lights that lead us there are blinding

There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how

Because maybe

You're gonna be the one that saves me

And after all

You're my wonderwall

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PROLOGUE

This was going to be the hardest thing I would ever do, but the irony was that it should be the simplest.

I had Wonderwall by Oasis playing over and over on the iPod, never realizing till this very moment how true the words were to my situation.

I hoped that I hadn't been too obvious following the black Mercedes or that the driver had noticed me.

After all, the element of surprise was all I had to get to them before they could get away.

I decided the best strategy was to park my car on the shoulder and gather myself before driving down the long driveway. This also would give him time to park his car and get inside before I got to the house.

I gave myself a little pep talk and turned down the driveway.

I parked the car.

I got out and walked up the porch.

I took a deep breath…

And knocked on the door…

I was preparing for the fight of my life, needing desperately to make myself whole again.

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CHAPTER 1: MISTAKES

The morning light shone through the window and across my face and I was instantly depressed. Not the way to start my day, but unavoidable because every morning started this way lately. I reached my arms above my head and stretched, and briefly contemplated just staying in bed all day.

Why get up if it was all going to be just as depressing as the last three weeks. Ever since the day Jacob packed up and left. Of course he really didn't have any choice but to leave. That's how imprinting works. You see her and the connection is stronger than anything else. So even though he feels terrible about leaving me, I understand. I still felt as though I have been hit by a freight train and am expected to stand right back up and keep on walking. Impossible. Even though it was probably a mistake for us to rush into marriage in the first place, I still loved Jacob very much. Not as much as I loved Edward and Jacob knew that, but we were happy.

Then 3 weeks ago we went out to dinner for our 5 year wedding anniversary.

The minute the waitress came over to take our order I saw the look in Jacob's eyes. It was different. He always looked at me lovingly, but this was….well, different. Like he was a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time. Like there was no one else in the restaurant other than the two of them. Like I was invisible. Which is exactly how I felt. In the span of just a couple of seconds, I went from a loved and adored wife to invisible and alone.

I always feared this would happen. Edward left me; soon Jacob would either grow tired of me (and the cloud of depression I brought with me everywhere I went) or imprint and eventually leave me. Jacob didn't think so. Even though he had seen Sam, Jared, and Quil all imprint, he still thought it was a myth and would never happen for him. That's why he proposed. He loved me and wanted me to be happy. I said yes because he loved me and Edward didn't want me. I foolishly thought that Jacob could fill the gaping hole Edward tore out of my chest and I would feel whole again. It was a foolish thought considering I never stopped loving Edward. Not for one second. But I married Jake anyway.

If the truth be told, marrying Jacob gave us both a little something to make us happy. Jacob got me and I got a constant supply of him. The drug that made me feel a little better.

Marring Jake was also an attempt at keeping my promise to Edward that day he left me in the woods. I hadn't done well on the one where I was supposed to stay safe and avoid danger so this was my attempt at the" be normal and happy" one. Normal I was willing to try, but happy? Without Edward? Not possible! And what is normal anyway? It felt as though I was a cat and he was telling me to bark. For me, my normal, was me as a vampire spending eternity with Edward.

Being with Jacob those first few months after Edward left is what kept me from being sent to Florida or the Psychiatric Hospital which were the options Charlie was debating. Things were easy with Jacob. We sat in his garage-well the two sheds pushed together to form something that functioned like a garage anyway-working on his Rabbit and drinking warm sodas from a paper bag. After a while I would be laughing and forgetting Edward, barely able to feel the gaping hole in my chest.

The more Jacob and I were together, the harder it was to not be with him. He had left permanent marks all over me where he had put me back together. The mark left on my heart after he repaired that was the one I felt the most and the one that made it especially hard to turn down Jacob the night he proposed at our spot on the tree down at First Beach.

Just after we were married, Sam and Emily found out they were pregnant. Billy and Charlie immediately started asking when we were thinking of starting our family. I knew Jake wanted to but I couldn't. Marrying him was one thing, but I wasn't going to start a family till I grew to love him more. I think it also had something to do with that nagging feeling and fear that Jake would leave me. Bringing kids into our mess didn't seem right, and in the end I was right.

Tempting as it was to stay in bed and pull the sheet over my head, I got up anyway. I drug myself out of bed and into the bathroom to shower and dress for the day. A task made a little difficult because everything in my new apartment here in Port Angeles was still in boxes. I managed to find what I needed then headed to the kitchen for a bowl of cereal and to call Charlie. I am supposed to head over to Forks today to pack up my old bedroom now that Charlie has finally managed to sell his house with his wedding only a week away.

It took him long enough to propose to Sue. Almost 4 years, but Charlie was a little gun shy given his previous experience with marriage. Well technically around 3 years since they didn't "officially" start dating till about a year after Harry died. He has been so happy with Sue, happier than I have ever seen him, that this will be a good thing. And even though he is moving over to La Push, he was able to work out a deal with Forks to keep his job. His new officer will be handling the day to day stuff and Charlie can come to Forks as needed and for his scheduled shifts. For Charlie this is his perfect. He gets to live in the area he loves, keep the job he loves, and marry the woman he loves. Some people can just get everything they want all wrapped up in a pretty package and handed to them. Damn it all to hell. I just hate those people, even if I am related to them.

After washing my dishes and arranging to meet Charlie at the house around noon, I decided it was time to call Jake. We hadn't talked in a couple of days and I thought I should call to let him know I was getting settled in my new place and find out if he had started the divorce proceedings yet. He felt so awful he insisted I let him handle everything. I wasn't sure how the Quileute tribe viewed divorce, everyone I knew from La Push was either married or widowed, but Jake assured me everything would be handled quietly and quickly. I appreciated this seeing as how I would not be able to escape spending time in La Push.

Jacob answered on the first ring. "Hello."

"Hey Jake, it's Bella." I tried my best to sound as least depressed as possible.

"Hey Bells I was just going to call you," he replied sounding awkward and uncomfortable. "Are you coming to La Push later this afternoon with Charlie?"

"I hadn't planned on it. Why?"

"It's just….ummm….well, the papers are ready to be signed," Jake said. His voice thick with the tension we were both feeling.

"Oh…wow…well I could probably come over for a bit to take care of that. I can't stay long though because I have dinner plans here in Port Angeles at 7." Jake had said this would be handledquietly and quickly, but I had hoped more for the quiet than the quick. Even though Jake always loved me more, this was still painful. Not a hard task when his heart had more room in it for his love for me. Mine was forever split between the greatest love of my life and the best friend I was married to.

"Everything is drawn up all you have to do is sign it shouldn't take more than 5 minutes," Jake replied with a little more ease this time after sensing the comfort I was deceptively placing in my tone to make this less stressful.

"Okay, sounds good."

"By the way Bells, how's the new place?" Jake was always trying to revert back to our friendship by calling me Bells and attempting casual conversation. I just couldn't flip that easily, but I was trying.

"Good. It's a little small and feels even smaller since I haven't unpacked, but it has potential. When I am all unpacked you and Abby should come by for dinner." Abby was the unintentional waitress/home wrecker Jake imprinted on. Like I said trying…..

Jake seemed taken aback by my offer. I hadn't made many attempts at returning his friendly gestures or getting to know Abby. "That sounds great Bella. Just let me know. I know Abby would love to meet you. Well, officially anyway."

"OK Jake I'll see ya later."

"OK. Bye Bells."

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I got to the house a little before noon and Charlie called to let me know his tux fitting was running long and would be another half hour so I let myself in and headed up to by old bedroom with some boxes. I really tried to avoid this place at all costs because I could feel him the strongest in this room. I lay down on my old bed and closed my eyes. If I really concentrated it was almost like he was here with me. I could feel his hard, cool arms around me. I could feel his lips on my cheek. I could almost smell that intoxicating breath. Too much more of this and I would not make it through my day, so I forced myself up to get started.

As I stood up I reached up to rub my neck and my necklace snapped off and slipped into a crack in the floorboards. Since I'm not a big fan of jewelry, normally this would not bother me, but this was a gift from my mom for my high school graduation and she would probably be upset if I lost it. So I went down stairs to find a hammer and came back to pry open the floorboard.

Now if you had told me this morning about what happened next I would have never believed you. I still feel a little shocked myself. Like waking up from a dream that feels so real you are trying to decide if it was really a dream or really happening.

I pried open the floorboard just enough to slip my hand in and retrieve my necklace when I felt my hand bump into something else. So I pried a little more, maybe a little too much seeing as I cracked it in half, and sat there with my mouth gaping in complete and utter amazement. I then felt three emotions at the same time that normally don't go together. Shock. Anger. And excitement.

Shock because I wasn't sure I was really seeing this or if it was one of those optical illusions. Like when you're in the desert parched and see the big blue ice cold lake.

Anger because I could not believe this was hidden from me and I never knew it and never ran across it.

Excitement because they were the most precious items I ever owned….and had it all back.

Because right there beneath the floorboard…….

Hidden all this time………..

Were the presents from my 18th birthday.

A/N: Since this is my very first fan fiction, suggestions and constructive criticism are appreciated! Please review because reviews will get teasers for chapter 2. Thanks for reading!