Brought to you by: Shinji's Good Sharing Inc.
"Just because our writers are nutty doesn't mean we can't be corny!"
A Grim Life
by Shinji the Good Sharer
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story. If you think I do then you're out of your mind. This is a free fanfic and will NOT in ANY WAY generate money for my personal use. Flames will be used to burn the hair off Dumbledore's ass.
Banners flew revealing the Kazahana symbol with flower petals being thrown happily through the windows of the main street by mothers and children. Samurai, banner holders and drummers marched in a paraded as Koyuki was carried in spectacular fashion inside a large palanquin.
Even Harry had to admit she was stunning in her white kimono with a ceremonial red and gold colored petticoat around her shoulders. Though he would immediately counter with the fact that her big, round hat with the flat top make her look like a talking coffee table that would go in a dollhouse. The resulting stifled laughter of the ninjas echoed for a while in their private rooms at the palace.
It had been two months since the Dotō incident and the man had died a horrible death over the course of ten days. It was currently July twenty-ninth and Harry was looking forward to his second real birthday in Konoha. He had made a portkey to take them home after the coronation dinner.
Sitting at the long table as the 'guests of honor' the ninja all joked and talked as they went on through everything. Harry's emotionless face never changed nor did his monotone as he joked and spoke with the rest of the guests. Koyuki asked him to dance and they went through a few dances before Fleur took her turn. She was quickly followed by Mai, and then Iymithra before Koyuki got to dance with him again.
Once that dance was over they took seats with the others at their table while Koyuki looked at Harry coyly. "So, when does the hero want to kiss the maiden? It's a tradition after all, Harry." she flirted.
"She's right, Harry." Kakashi pointed out as Naruto nodded. Sasuke was smirking while Fleur, Mai and Iymithra giggled. "It needs to be done." Kakashi said with a perverted smile so obvious that it showed though his mask.
Annoyed but wanting to get it over with Harry took Koyuki's hand and led her down a corridor to a secluded spot. He then pinned her to the wall and kissed her deeply curling his tongue around hers while lifting her off the floor by her thighs. Her legs wrapped around his hips revealing that she was indeed being 'traditional' under her kimono. Reaching into her robes Harry slowly and firmly kneaded one of her large D-cup breasts as his tongue dueled with hers. His free hand did a few handseals and a simple Raiton jutsu ran through his lips causing her hair to shoot out in all directions as her body tensed and convulsed leaving a pungent puddle on the floor where he dropped the panting and barely conscious woman as he walked back into the ball room.
The ninja looked at him weird as he came back alone until five minutes later the doors flew open revealing a disheveled princess with a flushed face being supported by two servants who had found her. Her kimono was hanging off one shoulder and her hair was everywhere while the rich aroma of fresh sex permeated from her. Everyone in the ball room looked at Harry who used the 'Soft Physique Modification' Anko had taught him to lengthen his tongue to nearly three feet long before he licked his lips.
Women flushed, men glared jealously and Koyūki was sat down beside him staring at Harry deliriously. "So, what are my chances of getting you to stay here as king and make a 'queen' out of me?" she asked dreamily.
With a roll of the eyes Harry sighed. "Not very good, right now. I still have a great deal to do fixing messes. But maybe someday, we'll see." he told her while sipping his drink. "I think in another four or five years we'll talk about it. Focus on getting your country in order until then."
Pouting as she straitened her kimono and her hair Koyuki looked at her reflection in a plate sadly. "I'll be an old maid by then." she sighed while Harry handed her a water bottle of glowing liquid which looked to be liquid fire.
"Take one teaspoon per year. No more, no less and you won't age a day." He grunted as Koyuki looked at the potion before squealing and hugging him.
Sakura sighed as she looked at the princess. "It's such a waste though. You're so popular now and you're going to stop acting." She lamented.
Smiling widely the princess looked at the pink haired girl. "Who says that I'm going to give up acting?" she asked. "As the ruler and actress of Snow Country I will prove that I can do both." the princess declared.
Kakashi's eye bugged out as he looked at the script the woman held. "Th-th-that's the... that's the..." he stuttered. He stopped talking as his nose exploded in blood. He clawed at the mask which was filling up with blood like a water balloon around his head. He fell to the ground completely ignored. As he started drowning over the fact that she was going to star in 'Icha Icha Paradise: The Movie'.
Koyuki took her leave then and wandered off happily signing autographs for the children around the castle. Naruto blinked and started to freak out. "Damnit! I should have gotten her autograph!" he said in horror.
Sasuke grunted and sighed. "If you're talking about the autograph, I've got it." Sasuke said while handing Naruto and Harry each a letter.
Inside Naruto's was a picture of Naruto himself asleep in his hospital bed with his wounds healing after the fight with Dotō. It was sighed:
:: To Uzumaki Naruto-sama,
Never give up on becoming Hokage.
Fujikaze Yukie ::
However, Harry wasn't paying attention to that. His bugged out Sharingan eyes were staring at his own photo which he stuffed back in the envelope and sealed it in his left palm when everyone looked at him. His face was as red at his Sharingan. He was sweating and trying to whistle innocently as he inched away from the hard stares. Ten seconds later he was running for his life while his friends tried to beat what it said out of him. Even as he ran towards Konoha the image of a nude and illicitly posed Kazahana Koyuki/Fujikaze Yukie filled his mind along with the words written on the picture.
:: To Uchiha-Potter Harry-sama,
This only belongs to you.
Kazahana Koyuki/Fujikaze Yukie ::
Dodging two kunai, a shuriken and a fireball Harry smirked and increased his speed until the air-pressure made his image seem to distort. 'We'll see, little blossom. We'll see.'
Hokage – Fire Shadow
Sennin – Legendary Ninja
Jutsu – Technique
ANBU – Black Ops
Jōunin – Elite Ninja
Chūunin – Average or Journeyman Ninja
Genin – Trainee Ninja
Shinobi – Male Ninja
Kunoichi – Female Ninja
Genjutsu – Illusion Skill
Ninjutsu – Ninja Skill
Taijutsu – Body Skill
Kenjutsu – Sword Skill
Kinjutsu – Forbidden Skill
And there's the Epilogue of book 3. W00T! Book 3 is done! Finished! Complete! How's that for an ending? Damn I'm good! Anyways, keep Reading and Reviewing!