I hope never to ever have as big a gap as there was between the first two chapters...I'm trying...

Anyway, thanks so much to 123HappyFrog for the idea of this lesson! It got me thinking...if anyone wants to see something cooked (or rather, destroyed) by Grimmjow and Ulqui, just message me and I'll try to do it!

DISCLAIMER: no owning Bleach for me.

WARNING: If you try to actually learn how to cook from this fic, you're gonna be damn disappointed, buster. Plus you'll probably start a fire. I can't cook for my life.


"Hey, Ulquiorra,"

The pale Espada looked up. "You're late."

"Sorry. I went out of my way to avoid Gin. He's been giving me the creepiest looks lately. Hell, he even winked at me the other day!"

Ulquiorra frowned. "He winked at me, too, earlier," he admitted. "It was rather…alarming."

Grimmjow thought a moment, than shook his head. "Hey, Gin's a creepy guy," he shrugged. "I just hope he doesn't find out I ate all his licorice Twizzlers."

Ulquiorra raised his eyebrows but made no comment.

"Well, what are we gonna do today? You said it was going to be something interesting..."

Ulquiorra looked slightly…sheepish. "Well, there actually not enough food to make anything…I need to go shopping. I'm not sure what…"

Grimmjow was momentarily flummoxed. "Lemme see what we got." He went over to the cabinets and flung them open dramatically. He appraised the bare shelves, but Ulquiorra was right; there was nothing. He braced himself, and clasped the handle of the giant fridge. He had never gotten over his traumatic experience with the fridge when Aizen had assigned him as cook.

Grimmjow wrenched open the door, flinching as the cold air roared out at him. He rummaged a bit in the back, until, waaaay in the back, his hand came in contact with a package. He pulled it out. "Hey! Cookie dough!"

Ulquiorra got up from where he had been sitting at the table. "Oh…I'd forgotten I had that…" he said, vaguely. "Okay, we'll make cookies."

"HELLZ YEAH!" Grimmjow ripped open the packaging eagerly.

Ulquiorra watched him, an almost confused look on his face. "you get so worked up about the slightest things," he said in bewilderment.

"But Ulquiorra! It's cookies!" Grimmjow argued, flinging the lump of frozen dough into a bowl and that into the microwave. When it had thawed, he pulled it out. Ulquiorra had greased a cookie sheet, and Grimmjow spooned a clump of the tannish dough onto it. Then he picked up a chunk with his fingers and popped it into his mouth.

Ulquiorra wrinkled his brow. "What are you doing?"

Grimmjow set another chunk of dough on the sheet. "Eating, duh."

"But it's not cooked."

Grimmjow's teal eyebrows shot striaght up and disappeared into his equally teal hair. Wait-do you mean to say you've never eaten raw cookie dough before?"

"Why would I?"

"Ulquiorra! Few things in this life are as perfect as raw cookie dough!" Grimmjow scraped some from the side of the bowl and offered it to the pale Espada. "here."

Ulquiorra looked at it, doubtfully.

"Come on, it's not poisoned," Grimmjow said impatiently.

Ulquiorra took the cookie dough onto his finger, and licked it cautiously. He blinked. "It's not half bad," he mumbled, licking some more. Grimmjow smiled, triumphantly. "Told ya."

Ulquiorra swirled a pale finger around the bowl, and had some more. "Alright, it's very good."

Half hour later, all the cookie dough was gone. Grimmjow looked regretfully at the empty bowl. "I guess we can't bake cookies now,' he said, sadly.

"How can you say that?" Ulquiorra demanded. "You just ate a whole package of raw dough!"

"You had a lot of it," Grimmjow protested. "We need to go shopping tomorrow, anyway. Get more food."

"Um…maybe we could get some more cookie dough," Ulquiorra mumbled.

"Of course! God, you're turning into a fucking cookie dough whore!"

"What did you just call me?"



Don't insult the Cuatro.

Again, if you have a suggestion for a lesson, message me. ^^