Disclaimer in earlier part
~Memory~
----
Chapter 9
9 months later: Outside Roswell
Liz stares at the phone "Maybe we should call them... tell them we're coming back."
"What are we goin' to tell them?"
Liz shrugs "That we needed to get away." she looks at Zan "What do you want to tell them?"
"The truth... we can't hide it forever"
"What we did was the best for everyone."
"Did we Liz?! I hear you cry every night. I heard you cry every night those last few weeks."
"My feelings aren't important here Zan." Liz argues "How our child
is raised is important. You agreed Zan. There's nothing we can do. The papers are signed."
"We tell the parents... they'll come up with something."
"You want to rip her away from them? She's bonded to them Zan."
"I know" he sighs running his fingers through his hair "I miss
her Liz." he looks at her tears filling his eyes "We may have given
her up but she's our blood... our daughter."
"We did what was for the best" Liz says sadly "It may hurt like
hell but its for the best." she lays down her back to him "Its for the best"

Next Morning
Liz looks at the building before her "Home" she says softly
"Want me to come in with you?"
Liz shakes her head "I have to do this myself." she runs her fingers
through her hair "Call me later?"
"Sure"
"I love you Zan" she says
Zan leans forward kissing her gently "I love you too sweets" he
says tucking a strand of hair behind her ear "It'll be OK"
"I know" Liz gets out of the car grabbing her bags she gives Zan a small smile
Zan watches as she unlocks the door of the restuarant entering.
Liz makes her way back to the stairs leading to the apartment "Mom
Dad" she calls walking up the stairs. She drops her bags walking
to the livingroom she finds her parents standing there stunned "Hey
Mom. Hey Dad" she says staring at the floor
"Liz" Nancy says stunned. She runs over hugging her daughter "Where
have you been?" she demands looking Liz over
Liz just remains silent
"Liz" Jeff says
Liz looks at her father "Hi Dad"

Evans Home
Zan takes a deep breath entering the house he heads back to the
kitchen where he finds his parents drinking coffee and reading the
newspaper. "I see things haven't changed" he says laughing
Diane starts at the voice looking up she grins to find her oldest son standing there. "Zan"
"Hi Mom. Hi Dad" he says dropping his dufflebag
Diane jumps up going over she hugs her son "I am so glad to see you"
"You too"
"Isabel... Max get in here" Philip calls going over he also hugs Zan
"What Dad?" Isabel walks into the kitchen stopping in her tracks "Zan" she says surprised
"Hey Izzy" Zan grins
"Where the hell have you been?" Isabel demands angrily
Max enters the kitchen behind his sister "Isabel relax. Zan just
got home. No need to drill him already."
"Drill him? He ran off." Isabel yells "Called yet didn't say much."
"Where is Liz?" Diane asks
"I dropped her off at home" Zan says "Look I'm sorry I left like that."
"Why did you?" Max asks
"Kids lets let Zan get some rest then we'll ask questions" Diane
interrupts seeing the pain flash through her son's eyes
"Thanks Mom. I need a shower and some sleep"
"Sure Zan." Diane nods "Max Isabel get going your going to be late for school"
"Come on Max" Isabel storms out of the kitchen
Max looks at his twin shrugging before he follows Isabel
"Zan we have to get to work" Diane says "I'll be home this afternoon"
"Sure Mom" Zan watches as his parents hurry out to their cars

Half hour later
Zan steps out of the shower wrapping a towel around his hips. He
goes to the mirror wiping away the condensation. He stares at his
reflection his eyes going to numbers tattooed on his chest. He smiles
slightly as he fingers the numbers his mind goes back
~Zan runs his hand over Liz's middle as they lay in bed.
"What are you thinking?" Liz asks curiously
Zan looks at her "When the baby's born I'm going to get the date tattooed"
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to ever forget the day my first child was
born." he says simply "We may be giving the baby up but its still
our baby... part of us. I never want to forget that."~
"And I never will" Zan says sadly.

Parker's livingroom
Liz sits on the couch squirming under her parents intense gaze
"Look I'm fine. We didn't do anything illegal we just left."
"You ran off with your boyfriend" Jeff says angrily
"You tried to break us up. I love Zan. Nothing you say or do will make me break up with him."
"Liz just tell us what happened. Where you were" Nancy requests
Liz swallows "Mom I can't talk about it" she says her voice breaking.
"I'm sorry" she jumps up running to her bedroom. Slamming the door
behind her she slides to the floor crying.

Afternoon: Evans home
Diane enters the kitchen to find Zan sitting at the table eating
cereal and reading the newspaper. "Did you have a good sleep?"
"Yeah"
Diane sits across from her son. "Zan why did you disappear like that? Did something happen?"
Zan remains silent "Mom"
"Zan you were gone for almost a year. We were worried sick. Liz's parents were freaking out."
"I'm sorry Mom"
"Zan just tell me why you left"
"Mom I can't... not now"
"Then when Zan?"
"I don't know"
Diane sighs "When you want to talk about it your father and I are here."
"I know"

Crashdown
Liz walks down the stairs smiling as she hears Maria and Michael bickering "Hey guys"
Maria turns and grins "Liz" she yelps running over she hugs her best friend
"We heard you were back" Michael says his voice neutral
"Where were you? We were so worried"
"California"
"Why?" Michael demands
"I don't really want to talk about it"
"Whatever" Michael shrugs walking away
"Ignore him he's in a mood" Maria waves off "So... details"
Liz winces inwardly "Maria I really don't want to talk about it now. I'm exhausted."
Maria nods sympathetically "We'll talk later then"
"Thanks" Liz gives her best friend a small smile "later"
Maria watches as her best friend walks away 'She looks different... sadder.' she shakes her head

Evening: Evans home
Max enters his twin's bedroom to find Zan staring out his bedroom window "You OK brother?"
Zan looks at Max nodding "Yeah. What about you?"
"Fine" Max shrugs sitting on the bed "So where were you?"
"California"
"What happened? Why'd you leave?"
"Yeah Zan why'd you break our promise?" Isabel demands her hands
on her hips standing in the doorway. "We promised each other a long
time ago that we'd stay together."
"Izzy" Max sighs
"Don't Izzy me. Zan you owe us" Isabel says angrily her eyes blazing.
She turns stomping out of the room
"Isabel" Max calls
"Just let her go" Zan says sadly "she's right I broke our promise"
"I'm sure you had a good reason"
"Yeah" Zan sighs "I did"

After midnight
Liz sighs feeling the hand gently stroke her hair. She smiles opening
her eyes to find Zan sitting beside her "Hi"
Zan smiles "Hi"
"I've missed you" she says touching his cheek "Join me?"
Zan nods removing his shoes he joins Liz pulling her into his arms. "How was your day sweets?"
"Long. Dad's not saying much. Mom keeps asking me if I'm OK."
"Same at my house except its Izzy not speaking to me." he says "she's really mad at me"
"I think Michael is mad at me. I went downstairs to say hi and
he barely said two words to me"
"What about Kyle and Alex?"
"Mom said they stopped by when I was sleeping" Liz yawns snuggling into his arms
"Go back to sleep babe"
"You'll stay?"
"Yeah. I'll leave before dawn"
"Wake me"
Zan kisses the top of her head in response "Good night my sweet Liz"

Next Morning
Nancy enters Liz's room to find Liz asleep in Zan's arms. She closes
the door "Liz. Zan" she says touching Liz's arm
Liz opens her eyes "Mom" she says sleepily
"You better get Zan out of here before your father finds out he's here"
Liz nods as her mother leaves the room she kisses Zan "Zan honey time to get up"
At the light kiss Zan smiles opening his eyes "hey sweets"
"Morning sleepy" she smiles "You overslept"
"Mm" he yawns stretching "I should go"
"Yeah before Dad finds out your here"
"See you later?" he asks sitting up
"Of course" Liz watches as he pulls on his shoes. She waves to
him as he crawls through the window "Love you" she says
Zan grins disappearing from view.

Late afternoon
Liz sets the drinks before the customers "Here you go" she smiles.
She turns to find Kyle and Alex standing at the counter. "Hi guys" she says nervously
"Liz" Alex says happily. He pulls Liz into a bear hug
"Its good to see you too" Liz laughs
"We heard you came back"
"Tell us about your adventure" Alex demands
"Guys don't even try. She won't even tell me" Maria pouts
"Come on Lizzie its us" Kyle says
"Can't even get Zan to spill" a voice says
Liz turns to find Isabel standing there looking slightly angry "Isabel"
"Liz"
Liz looks around "I uh better get back" she stammers

Chapter 10
2 months later
"How's work?" Liz asks as she and Zan lay curled up on the couch in the Parker's apartment
"Its OK" Zan says kissing the back of her neck. "What about you?"
"The same"
Hearing her tone Zan frowns "What's wrong sweets?"
"Nothing" Liz replies
"Liz"
Liz stands pulling Zan to his feet "Come on"
"Where?"
"Where do you think?" she pulls him down the hallway to her bedroom. She kisses him deeply
Zan groans pulling Liz close. "God I hate this" he mutters kissing
her neck "Not being able to roll over and find you beside me."
"I know" she kisses him hard as they fall onto her bed
At the same moment Nancy enters the apartment with her husband
right behind. She drops her keys on the hall table
"I'm going to go check on Liz" Jeff says
"Mmm" Nancy nods
Jeff heads back to his daughter's room to find the door partially
open. He knocks lightly "Liz" he calls entering to find Liz and
Zan making out on her bed "Elizabeth" he yells
Liz and Zan break apart "Uh hi Dad" Liz says sheepishly
Nancy enters the bedroom behind her husband to find Liz and Zan
straightening their clothes "Jeff calm down."
"Calm down?!" Jeff exclaims
"We were just kissing" Liz says
"Zan you should go" Nancy suggests seeing her husband's anger rise
Zan looks at Liz who nods "I'll see you later" he kisses her cheek
"Sure" Liz watches as he walks out of her bedroom. She braces herself for a fight
"Liz I can't believe this?! This is so irresponsible" Jeff yells
"We were only kissing"
"Liz this is our home. I don't want you having sex in our home" Jeff says angrily
'I already have' Liz flinches "We haven't Dad. We know better"
"Jeff lets just calm down" Nancy soothes "We can talk about this like adults"
"ADULTS?! She's not an adult. I won't know who she is anymore"
Jeff says shaking his head he walks out of the room
Liz flinches at her father's tone
"Jeff!"
Liz stares at the floor her father's words echoing through her mind.
Nancy looks at Liz "He doesn't mean it Liz"
"Its fine Mom. He's right. I have changed." she opens the window
climbing out to the balcony. She settles on one of the lounge chairs staring up at the stars.
Nancy watches her daughter for a moment then walks out of the room closing the door behind her.
"Sweets?"
"You can come up"
Zan climbs up over the ledge sitting on the chair across from Liz. "You OK?"
"Maybe I should have stayed gone" Liz whispers
"You don't mean that"
Liz looks at Zan tears filling her eyes "Yes I do" she says "Zan its so hard."
Zan pulls Liz into his arms "It'll get easier Liz." he runs his
fingers through her hair. "We've only been back for a few months. Give it time."
"Time?! My Dad barely speaks to me. Michael is so... aloof. Mom's
alway's checking on me playing referee."
"Liz they just need to adjust"
"Its not just them. Its everything. I rarely see you. I am beginning
to hate this." she says tears falling
"Hate what?" Zan demands "What are you hating Liz?"
"Myself OK" Liz pulls away hugging herself "I hate myself."
"Why sweets?"
"Because I was selfish"
"You've never been selfish Liz."
"I am" Liz stands "I did it for myself"
"Did what?"
"God I wish I could change it."
"Change what?"
Liz looks at him then slides to the floor her back against the
cement "Giving her up. I was selfish." she sobs
"Liz"
"I wanted to forget and move on. Go to college. I did it because
I didn't want my parents to be disappointed... be ashamed" she swallows
"Liz you may feel selfish but you aren't" Zan crouches before her
"We did what we thought was for the best. She's happy. Madison's
happy and healthy that's what we wanted."
"I know. I just miss her so much Zan." she wipes at her tears "I
thought" she pauses "I thought that once she was theirs I'd be able
to move on." she swallows "I don't know if I can Zan. I've tried
Zan... but all I think about is her... our little girl."
"I do too"
"I thought once we returned I'd find my way back... I can't. I'm
so lost Zan. I've been lost since the moment I found out I was pregnant...
lost not because I was pregnant... not because of you... but because
of everything. When she was born the feeling grew."
"I know Liz. I feel lost too. There's not a moment that goes by
where I don't think about her." Zan says tears falling "As much
as I want her back I know its for the best she's there."
Liz puts her arms around his neck "I miss her so much" she sobs
"I know" Zan hugs Liz tight "I do too." he swallows "I do too"

TBC....