A/N: This is in answer to another challenge and is a sequel of sorts to Dreams. The challenge was 'An embarrassing moment', which was posted on LJ. For those of you who are wondering, I am working on the next chapter of Intertwined and it will hopefully be up by the end of next weekend.
Warnings: Slash and porn. And language, warning for that too.
Sam couldn't deny that the words on the pages before him had him more absorbed than any reading he had ever done before. It wasn't that a fascinating world was forming in around him through the words; it was that with these instructions he could actually spark with Optimus.
"Sam, what are you so avidly reading?" He heard Will ask as the soldier moved to sit next to him on the back end of Optimus' alt form, not even blinking at the mini-Optimus hologram looking over Sam's shoulder at the manual (he had lent his to Sideswipe, who had then disappeared with Jolt). Sam was still too embarrassed to sit in the cab of the truck, but he had wanted to be near Optimus, so here he was.
"A sex manual," Sam said absently as he turned the page to be met with some very interesting diagrams that Ratchet had made of Optimus and Sam theoretically going at it. "Ratchet would make a killing in the porn industry with his imagination… Is that a gear shift being shoved up my ass?!"
"I believe so… Is that you placing your human sex organ in my spark?!" Optimus asked incredulously, his holoform flickering briefly as its hand traveled through Sam's shoulder to point at the picture.
"That would probably hurt me more than give me pleasure…" Sam said as he tilted his head to look at it better. The details of the drawings were astounding, and Sam briefly wondered who had drawn them. Ratchet could draw only very nice stick figures, which ruled him out. Maybe Ironhide drew them.
"Ooookaaay," Will said as he looked at the diagrams briefly. The soldier actually became flustered at what he saw and, blushing, he left to go and talk with Ironhide. Maybe the weapons specialist could explain why his spark-mate was writing sex manuals for Sam over mating with an Autobot. He wasn't too sure he wanted to know, but he was required to gather information on the interactions between the robots and the humans since Sam wasn't officially an ambassador yet.
He never knew how much he would regret his curiosity.
"Everything will be fine Optimus, with how much you worry about it I doubt I would get hurt," Sam said as he leaned back against the autobot leader (he was sitting on his legs). Optimus was worried about hurting Sam if they did decide to become spark-mates, but Sam didn't believe he would. It was embarrassing as hell to be talking about sex with Optimus Prime so openly, but right now he was more worried about the reaction his parents will have. That and the fact that Ratchet was approaching them, dragging a reluctant Ironhide in tow, who in turn had an anxious and confused Will in his hands, was really worrying
"He's not coming to give me a lecture like Ironhide did to you, right?" Sam asked as he reluctantly climbed down. They had read the manual Ratchet had given them earlier, which had caused Will to run off, and were not as embarrassed after seeing such blatant made up porn between the two of them, so that's why they were sitting so intimately.
"What's up, Ratchet?" Sam asked, stretching before looking up at the robot medic as he stopped in front of them.
"I do not think my manual was sufficient enough in explaining sparking," Ratchet said and Sam held up his hands in a stopping gesture.
"There's no need to lecture us, Optimus filled me in on his lecture from Ironhide," Sam said quickly, hoping to forestall another embarrassing situation. Ratchet gave Ironhide what had to be an inquisitive look and Sam figured they were having a private communication before Ratchet turned to them again.
"I was speaking of a demonstration," Ratchet replied and Sam stared at him as those words processed in his mind. Ratchet wanted to demonstrate a sparking to him and Optimus?
"Ratchet, that kind of thing, sex I mean, is kind of a private thing among humans." Sam tried to explain, but the medic didn't seem to understand.
"Really? Then why do you humans have so many videos of sexual intercourse? Pornography is what I believe it is called." Sam blushed as a picture of Ratchet watching porn flashed in his mind, but he tried to force it down before he spoke again.
"Um, you have a point there, but that doesn't mean we need a demonstration! We can figure it out…" Ratchet ignored him and brought Ironhide closer as Will escaped and took cover behind Optimus. The prime ignored the major and instead scooped Sam up in his arms and set him on his lap again, obviously realizing how futile it was to argue with Ratchet. Reluctantly, Sam settled back against Optimus to watch Ratchet's demonstration. If Mikaela found out about this he was screwed, but luckily she, Leo, and the Twins were off racing with Chromia in tow. Sideswipe and Jolt were off sparking, and so they were all alone here in the hangar with the deranged medic, his reluctant partner, and an equally reluctant Will Lennox.
The medic brought Ironhide close and transformed his fingers to make small pincers similar to what Megatron had done when he had pinned Sam down.
"Ratchet, I'm going to use you as a target later!" Ironhide's threats were cut short as those pincers moved in-between his armor and started touching various wires, which had a noticeable effect on Ironhide as he stopped talking and instead started growling in pleasure. Sam blushed at the noise, but took note of the wire locations as Ironhide forced Ratchet's spark chamber open as he opened his own. The weapons specialist took control, transforming his own hands to touch Ratchet intimately as he forced the medic to the floor beneath him.
"There are several wires that are coded for pleasure hidden beneath our armor," Optimus rumbled quietly from above him, his eyes fixated on the scene. Sam could barely see one of those wires just a little to his left and he shifted slightly closer to it, but the noises from the sparking in front of him distracted him from his objective.
Ratchet's normal composure was gone as Ironhide thoroughly ravished him, his transformed parts moving expertly to touch most of the wires at one time. Their sparks were twisting together in a beautiful dance, not quite merging, as fragments of the sparks themselves danced across the two robots. The spark fragments traveled through every crevice of their bodies and Sam could feel the heat radiating from the two as the whir of their cooling vents started. The two sparks merged flawlessly, and Sam could hear the curses passing through both of their vocal processors as they offlined briefly.
Sam's entire face was beet red as he looked back to see that Will was faring no better from where he was peeking out from behind Optimus. Optimus himself was looking down at Sam, a contemplating look on his face when he realized that Sam's hand was reaching for his wires, which Sam quickly pulled back, avoiding Optimus' optics. Coughing slightly, he watched as Ratchet and Ironhide got back up after coming online again. Ironhide looked awfully smug despite having been against a public sparking in the first place, or at least that was until Ratchet spoke again.
"Well, you know a sparking now. Yes Ironhide, it was fantastic, don't worry," Ratchet said, muttering about Ironhide's big ego being too sensitive. "However, I do not know if it was sufficient for a demonstration of this nature. You are a human and an autobot sparking, not an autobot and an autobot…" Ratchet examined them for a moment before his optics zoned in on Will.
"Oh no, I am a happily married man, I do not want anything to do with this!" Will said, backing up from Ratchet. "Sam, save me!"
"What can I do?" Sam asked before quickly slipping his hand through Optimus' armor and grabbing a certain wire to stop the prime from saying anything. He didn't want it obvious, but he wanted to see Will involved in a sparking so he would know what he could do to make it work when it came to sparking with Optimus. Will didn't need to know that though. Grinning and ignoring the blush that wanted to show on his face from his bold move, Sam listened to the muffled noises Optimus was making and his grin turned into a smile as Optimus' hand cupped him closer.
"Ratchet, he doesn't want a sparking with you, and I don't want him to spark with you," Ironhide growled out jealously and Ratchet looked at him.
"Then have him spark with you," Ratchet argued and Ironhide stared at him incredulously.
"Wait, I thought you could only spark with one being?" Will asked, hoping to get out of the situation he was in.
"We are spark-bound to each other, yes, but as you have no spark it will not affect our bond. The only reason Sam and Optimus will become actual spark-mates is because Sam has a piece of the allspark inside him, which will help bind them together." Ratchet explained calmly and Will was opening and closing his mouth as he tried to come up with a reply.
"My wife will kill me!" That was his main argument and Ironhide spoke before Ratchet could.
"Ratchet, why don't we just let Sam and Optimus figure it out for themselves? I want to still be able to visit little Annabelle," he argued and Ratchet reluctantly agreed as Optimus told him to stop as well.
"I love you, `Hide, you are awesome. You too, Optimus," Will said as he fled the hangar and Sam had to stifle his laugh. Ratchet turned to them again and looked at them expectantly.
"What is it, Ratchet?" Optimus asked as he shifted his hand more to cover Sam from view. Sam had been squirming uncomfortably under the medic's gaze and he was thankful when Optimus blocked it.
"I see that you have already started. I wish to see what you have learned from our demonstration," Ratchet replied and Sam blushed.
"You have no shame, Ratchet," Sam muttered and Optimus' laughed in agreement.
"Shame was not built into my emotion processors." Sam blinked at that before peeking over the top of Optimus' hand when he heard a clang. This time, instead of Ratchet dragging Ironhide, it was Ironhide dragging Ratchet away as he grabbed some of the medic's tools.
"Time for me to build it into your processors, then," Ironhide said as he moved to the medic bay.
"You only know how to blow stuff up, do not even think about transplanting stuff into me you lead-filled aft!" Sam laughed along with Optimus as the two disappeared behind the bay walls. As their laughter died Sam looked up to Optimus and felt his face heat up as he realized he was still grabbing that wire.
"So, does this feel good?" He asked as he innocently caressed the wire before pinching it, hard.
"Sam…" Feeling his face heat up even more at the sultriness of Optimus' voice, Sam ignored his embarrassment before he stood and climbed along Optimus' form until he was on his shoulder.
"Can you feel a kiss?" He asked as he traced the symbol on the side of the prime's helm. Blinking as those blue optics turned to meet his, Sam smiled shyly. "Well, it's how we humans normally display affection…"
"My sensors should pick up the action, although I do not know what a kiss is like," Optimus said and Sam smiled before leaning towards the symbol he had been tracing and kissing it gently. To Optimus it felt just like it had in his dream, but better and he moved to place Sam in his hand, stroking his back gently.
"I would say I'm not a pet, but that feels so damn good that I don't care," Sam said as he moved to touch a wire closer to the spark chamber, under the outer edge of one of the plates protecting said chamber. Optimus shuddered as he touched it and Sam grinned as the plates covering the chamber started shifting away. Optimus moved him closer to the location of his spark, but they both froze as a shrill voice rang through the air.
"Samuel James Witwicky, what is this I hear about you, giant robots, and porn?!" Optimus Prime and Sam Witwicky both looked at the woman below them and Sam could feel his face heat up as if he had a 3rd degree sunburn when his mom's eyes met his.
"Uh…" Sam said as he moved his hands back to his sides.
"They are trying to initiate a sparking, but you are getting in their way," Ratchet said from the top of some storage containers, where he had apparently been watching.
"Oh, you'd better not hurt him or your ass is mine, Optimus Prime!" Judy said before she turned her glare on Ratchet. "And what are you doing watching?!" Sam blinked as Ironhide grabbed Ratchet and quickly left, his mom chasing them out.
"Huh, well she handled that better than I would have expected," Sam mused before he turned back to Optimus, his blush nearly gone as he gave his Prime a smile. "Maybe we should move to somewhere more private?" Optimus nodded, but their plans were moved to later as everyone returned.
"Optimus, why is that lady chasing Ironhide and Ratchet with a pole?" Jolt asked as Sideswipe handed Optimus back his manual.
"No reason, they are just training," Optimus replied and Sam laughed as he pulled out his own manual again. Maybe he could get some ideas for later.