All right, I realize that it's been forever since I have posted, but I went through a really bad time in real life. There were some medical issues that had to be taken care of. And additionally, I am officially stuck on where to go. I had this story planned out, but it is getter increasingly difficult to write Bella being pregnant, since I have never been pregnant and the dates keep getting confused in my head. I'm not entirely sure how much time has passed in my story and how close Bella is to nine months.
I know that's bad since it's my story, but my head has been in the clouds lately. If someone wants to figure out about how much time has passed and how far along Bella is for me, I would be in your debt.
Don't hold your breath for the next chapter, as I said, I am stuck. Sorry this is so short.
Onto the chapter. =
I let my mind drift, entertaining the idea of asking Bella to marry me. I doubted she would say yes, as marriage this young was generally frowned upon. And from my snooping, I had learned that Bella's mother and father had married young, and had ended up divorced after two years. That didn't bode well for my wishes.
I heard a sharp intake of breath from Bella before she spoke, her voice determined. "If something goes wrong with the birth, or if I get hurt, and there's no chance of me making it… I want you to change me."
My entire body went on lock down. I became a statue at her words.
How could she want this? To go through the burn, losing her human memories, never being able to see her friends or family again? To be eternally damned?
Bella shifted next to me, becoming uncomfortable by my silence. "Edward?"
I raised my hand and ran it through me hair, pinching the bridge of my nose. "How could you want that Bella? You'd never be able to see Charlie again; you wouldn't be able to be around humans for years… You wouldn't be able to see your baby either. You wouldn't be able to ignore the burn in the back of your throat; the urge to drink from it would be too much."
She winced at my last point and I hoped that she would reconsider. But I hadn't taken into account how stubborn Bella could be. "Would you rather I have my baby put in a foster home? Or given to Mike? If it comes to me not being controlled enough to be around him, I'm sure Rosalie would take care of him for me."
(AN: I realize that she would technically be dead to her family anyways, and the baby would still go to a foster home- if Rosalie wasn't here- either way, but neither of them are thinking clearly. And its my story.)
I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to control my anger and frustration. I would not take that out on her. "Can we not talk about this right now? I'm going to have to leave soon anyway."
Bella huffed but nodded. We sat in silence for a while, but I heard Charlie's thought coming from down the road. I leaned over and kissed her forehead, murmuring "I'll come back when Charlie's asleep," before I ran out the back door.
I was still fuming about Bella's foolishness when I reached my house. Jasper glanced up from the book he was reading, raising his eyebrows. What's got you so riled up?
I just shook my head at him and tried not to stomp up the stairs on my way to see Carlisle. I knocked on his door once and then walked in, knowing that he wouldn't mind.
He sat at his desk, watching me as I paced around the room. "Are you going to tell me what's bothering you, or are you just going to wear a hole in the floor?"
"Bella wants to be changed." The entire house froze at my words, Rosalie shrieking in her mind.
Carlisle was the only one who seemed calmed. Well, that is an understandable choice.
I snarled loudly. "Understandable choice? How is this an understandable choice? I've told her about the consequences. I've told her that she wouldn't be able to be around her child; would never be able to see her father again. She still wants it!"
Carlisle just sat calmly, waiting for me to finish. "Are you quite done?" I nodded. "When did she ask? How did this come up?"
I plopped into the over sized arm chair, running my hands through my hair again and again. "I was telling her about my human life. About the change. She was silent for a few minutes and then she told me that if something went wrong in the birth or if she was ever got hurt and there was no chance of her surviving, she would want to be changed."
"And she knows that she wouldn't be able to see her child for a year, possibly more?"
I nodded; irritated that he was so calm about this whole thing. "She said that Rosalie could care for it until she could."
Rosalie silently rejoiced at that, but still refused to believe that Bella could want to be changed. If Bella died, she would fight for the rights to her child.
Carlisle drew my attention back towards him, holding his hands up. "Well then, I think it would be her choice and that we should respect that."
The snarl that forced its way out of my mouth was loud and echoed throughout the house. "What? How can you say that? How can you agree to damn her to this life?"
"What would you do if she died?"
He question silenced me for a moment. What would I do? Just the thought of it sent an ache through my chest, making me want to curl into a ball. But I pushed the feeling aside. "That's irrelevant. She will not become one of us. I won't allow it."
Carlisle sighed, becoming frustrated with me. "Edward what are you planning to do when she does die then? I know you've thought about it."
I hesitated, briefly wishing that Esme wasn't here. "I plan to follow her." I heard Esme's chocking sob and winced.
Carlisle kept a neutral face, but I could hear how much the idea hurt him. "How do you plan to go about that? No one here will help you, and you can't ask the werewolves to do it; they would be breaking the treaty. So how exactly do you plan to do it?"
I'm surprised he hasn't thought of the most obvious and easiest solution. "I'd ask the Volturi."
His eyes widened, confirming my suspicions that he hadn't thought of that. "They wouldn't kill you. Aro wouldn't want to risk offending me."
"They'd have to if I broke the law."
Everyone in the house was silent, save for Esme's gasping sobs. The thought of losing her daughter; and me by default, it was too much for her.
Carlisle closed his eyes, rubbing a hand over his forehead. "Do you know what that would do to this family? Do you even care?"
I bristled, a low growl forming in my chest. "Of course I do! I care about all of you, but I won't live without Bella."
I saw where Carlisle's thoughts were going, but he voiced them before I could say anything. "You can tell Bella that I will change her when the time comes. She is my daughter as much as you are my son. I refuse to lose either of you."
I snarled loudly, standing up so quickly I pushed my chair into the wall, leaving a dent. I stormed out of the house, furious at Carlisle but I refused to go to Bella's angry.
Carlisle probably figured out that I wasn't going to tell Bella about his offer, and he would no doubt speak to her about it next time she came over.
I ran into the forest, charging through a tree and tearing through several more before I had calmed down enough to go to Bella's. I could only hope that she wouldn't bring it up tonight. Hopefully I would be able to distract her.
Rosalie and Alice were planning on taking Bella shopping right after her doctor's appointment tomorrow. I didn't think that was a good idea, but I was overruled. Alice couldn't see how it went, because we didn't know how Bella would react to her doctor.
Rosalie hoped to talk Bella into allowing her to go to the exam with her. I doubted that Bella would mind. She wouldn't need much convincing.
The window was opened when I arrived, Charlie in the next room over getting ready for bed. Bella was on the phone with someone, speaking in hushed tones. I quickly climbed up the large tree that was perfectly placed, and swung my way through her window.
Bella was already facing the window when I came in, so she wasn't startled, but she gave me a smile as she continued to talk to the person on the other line. I walked closer so I could hear both sides of the conversation, and then wished I hadn't.
"You're too young to know what love is! You'll end up making the same mistakes I made! You've already made one, don't go for another and get married!"
Bella's face was bright red and her eyes burned with anger. "Mom, I love Edward! And I'm not you. I wasn't expecting to get pregnant, and if I want to marry Edward, I will. I'm officially an adult. You can't tell me what to do! Dad accepts Edward, why can't you?"
"Your father has always been easily fooled. He still believes many of the things I've told him over the years. And you could've gotten the pregnancy taken care of! It's not that difficult."
"You expected me to get an abortion? Why, what did my baby do to deserve that? And what do you mean that Dad is easily fooled?"
"He believed that I was faithful to him all these years. He was so busy with work that he was never home..."
Renee kept talking but Bella didn't hear her. She threw the phone across the room, towards the window. I grabbed it before it could fly outside, hanging up on Renee.
I walked back over to Bella, laying her back on her bed and cradling her to my chest as she sobbed. "How could she say those things? How could she c-cheat on my Dad? And why tell me?"
I could barley understand her through the sobs wracking her body. She wasn't exactly coherent, so I settled for rocking and shushing her.
I was glad that Renee no longer lived here. My restraint was already thinning, and if she was here and had said those things to Bella's face, I doubted that I would be able to hold myself back from killing her.
How someone could say those things to her own daughter, I will never know.
But I did know this.
If I ever saw Renee, I wouldn't hesitate to put her in her place. Alice would probably stop me before I ever got the chance, but the thought was nice.
Bella slowly fell asleep, her head resting on my chest, and her hands clenching the fabric of my shirt. Tear tracks were clear on her face, though no new tears were falling. I was beginning to worry about the stress getting to her.
There were almost always circles under her eyes, and she usually slept restlessly. Her face appeared gaunt and she had barely eaten anything the last couple of days. That would have to change soon. It wasn't good for her or the baby.
I stayed still throughout the night, marveling at the warmth that emitted from her small body. The steady beat of her heart vibrated through my body, bringing me to the closet place to sleep a vampire could get.
Bella wasn't happy with me when I woke her up the next morning, but she changed her tune when she saw the breakfast I had made when Charlie had left.
The school day was worse than the last. Bella was already on edge, anticipating her doctor's appointment, so she jumped at any noise. Every time I could, I shielded her from the stares and the rumors.
Rosalie and Alice weren't exactly helping either. They didn't mean to do it, but all the talk about the shopping trip was making Bella more and more anxious.
Bella allowed Rose to come with her to the appointment, but she had to wait in the waiting room until we called her in.
Rose and Alice followed us to the doctor's office, allowing Bella to calm herself. She still hadn't succeeded when we pulled up to the office.
I turned to look at her. "You know we can get Carlisle to do this. Just tell me if we need to leave. I will not let anything happen to you."
She nodded, not looking at me. She allowed me to help her out of the car without complaint, her skin rapidly paling. Sitting her in the chair closest to the door, I walked up to the reception desk to sign her in.
The receptionist glanced up at me, and then did a double take, her mouth hanging open unattractively. I cleared my throat and she blinked and struggled to compose herself. "Y-yes?"
"Isabella Swan is here for her appointment."
She looked behind me, finding Bella sitting with Rosalie, who was trying to talk her out of hyperventilating. Looking back at me, she tried to figure out what I was doing with Bella.
What the hell is he doing with Bella? Everyone knows she just a slut, the talk of the town.
I glared at her and she shrank back from my furious face, hurriedly typing Bella's name into the computer and contacting Dr. Reid to let her know about our arrival.
We had only been waiting for a few minutes before we were called back. Bella stayed as close to me as possible while the nurse took her weight and blood pressure.
Bella sat on the table, looking nervous and white as a sheet. I heard Dr. Reid walking down the hall and was relieved to hear that she didn't look down on Bella. She had seen teenagers pregnant many times.
Another good thing about her was that she was perceptive. The moment she walked into the room she noticed that Bella looked scared and nervous. She glanced at me a few times, not recognizing me and wondering who I was.
I stood up and offered her my hand. "I'm Edward Cullen, Bella's boyfriend." I smiled inwardly at the word; it seemed too juvenile to describe what we were.
Dr. Reid shook my hand quickly, taking note of how cold my skin was, before moving over to Bella.
She began doing the routine stuff, measurements and various questions. She quickly picked up on how Bella stiffened and sometimes flinched at her touch. She kept glancing at me, her suspicions on my relationship with Bella becoming clearer.
Things finally came to a head when she saw the faint bruises on Bella's arm, left over from Mikes attack. "Edward, would you mind giving me a moment alone with Bella?"
I nodded and Bella sent me a frantic look. I took her hand and placed a kiss on the back of it. "Relax Bella. I'll be right outside the door." I had meant this as a reassurance to Bella, but Dr. Reid saw it as a threat. I nearly growled at her, but realized I should have thought of this.
The moment the door was fully closed, Dr. Reid asked Bella about me. "Bella, where did you get these bruises?"