oh dear. a new one. i think... i need an intervention.
anyway, this one will be a tad depressing. just... yeah.
the introductions, and where it all begins.
S A K U R A
the beginning of my end.
my name? sakura. yes, cherry blossom. like the flower.
even though i'm nowhere close to being one.
why am i getting this?
let's just say, it's my own journal where i can write whatever, before i leave.
it may not be personal, but i want people to know what i feel in my time left.
the good thing is that they'll never know who wrote it.
but here it is, my thoughts, feelings, emotions.
all of them laid out for you to read.
anyway. about me.
i was born today, march twenty-eighth, at ten twenty-seven in the morning, exactly sixteen years ago.
i have pink hair. green eyes.
my namesake. the cherry blossom. pink and green.
my parents are dead and gone.
i live with guardians who don't even care about me.
but it's okay.
because i don't care about them.
i had a little brother.
he was my life.
my dad soon after died in a car accident because he was driving drunk.
my mother committed suicide.
my own supposed best friends think i'm weak.
that i'm exaggerrating things.
if only they knew.
i'm not telling you this for a pity party.
i'm telling you this so you know exactly why i'm doing this.
i am talented at fooling people.
nobody knows what really goes on in my head.
except you, now.
i am alone.
and so, comes this blog.
someone will read it.
someone will finally know what i feel.
maybe sometimes i'll be too intense.
but i hope you stick with me.
one more year.
good luck with that.
- S A K U R A
three forty-three pm.
I'm going to do it. I wasn't planning to.
But I want someone to know why.
I want them to know why, why I want to leave.
And now they will.
They might not know who I am, but they don't need to.
Because now, someone will listen to me.
Which is all I ever wanted.
G A A R A
what really goes on.
why do i have one of these?
not a fucking clue.
someone needs to listen to me.
gaara is my name.
i have red hair. green eyes.
i have a tattoo on my forehead. right above my left eye.
it's the japanese kanji character for ai.
which, really, means nothing to me.
i read it as "love only myself."
part of my daily mantra.
love only myself. fight only for myself. live only for myself.
i have no one to care about.
at birth, i murdered my own mother.
my own father told me so.
he really hates me for it, as do my siblings.
my mother's brother, my uncle, attempted to kill me.
he carved the kanji ai (what is lovelovelove?) character into my forehead.
and left me, bleeding and crying.
the neighbor heard my screams.
this was when i was six.
my uncle is still in a mental health facility.
my father has tried to murder me, behind my back, multiple times.
being the mayor of a city gives you a lot of power.
but there it is.
reading my thoughts, and what i write?
and what really makes me amused is that, i may be someone you know, but you will never know.
i don't think you should try.
what i look like on the outside is nothing like my inside.
four twenty-six pm.
Having this makes me feel like some emo-wannabe.
I definitely won't be writing any suicidal poetry here, though.
In fact, to me, suicide isn't even an option.
That means telling them that they won.
I think it's better to stay alive.
But this... I guess is for me.
People will read this.
And I will write.