Author's Note: Hey there everyone! I honestly don't know where this came from, but I thought of it out of nowhere and I think you'll enjoy it. I sure as hell had a great time writing it. I don't own Star Wars, the characters, or Jedi Apprentice. Those belong to George Lucas and Jude Watson. Dave Wolverton in book one, because everyone seems to forget about him XD. Anyway, enjoy!

Horrific Assumptions

By: Angel Wings-008

"Master, I'm so ashamed."

The voice of her best friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi, echoed in the hallway as Bant walked by, the sound penetrating through the door of the quarters that Qui-Gon and his Padawan shared.

He sounded distressed, she noted with concern. But, as a respectable Padawan she knew she should not eavesdrop. Silently, she glided past the door with every intention of going on her way, when Qui-Gon's response reached her ears.

"My Padawan, what is there to be ashamed of? You were incredible. I haven't had such fun in quite awhile."

Bant bit her lip, waging an internal battle between her duty as a Jedi and her curiosity. Sighing softly, she gave in. She knew she would reproach herself for this later, but for now she would let curiosity win out. Even a Jedi could not resist finding out more about a statement like that.

"You're just being kind, Qui-Gon, but I know what you're thinking. I've disappointed you. Last night was so beautiful to me, really it was, but I made so many mistakes. I am too clumsy and inexperienced…"

"Not at all Padawan, it took me years to perfect my technique. It is only natural that such a fresh young man would not have much experience yet."

Her mouth dropped open as she pressed her ear even harder against the door, and she had to use every ounce of discipline she possessed in order to remain quiet. What in the name of the Force were they talking about?

"I know I should not dwell on my mistakes Master, but it was just one disaster after another. I did the best I could, but it was so slippery, and wet…"

"Ah yes, but the licking and biting that came later surely made things even more interesting," Qui-Gon replied, and Bant swore that if a Mon Calamari could blush, she would. They couldn't be talking about that could they?

"That's putting it lightly, isn't it? With all that moaning coming out of your mouth, I thought I was doing something wrong. Should I have sucked harder?" Obi-Wan's voice questioned through the door; he sounded uncertain and slightly dejected. About what? This couldn't be right! She couldn't believe that Obi-Wan would do…that!

"Oh no, my Padawan. You did very well. The powerful suction you exuded saved me from a great deal of agony. I couldn't wait anymore," Qui-Gon murmured, his voice filled with gratitude and relief as he recalled. To find pleasure in an act like that! And he was a Jedi Master too! "All in all, it was an enjoyable experience, wouldn't you agree? Even considering the setbacks."

"We can still keep at it, right? I know I will improve every time we do it together," Obi-Wan said, with conviction and warmth.

"Of course we will continue with it. It is a great pleasure for me to teach you everything you need to know. In fact, why don't we get started right now? Trust me Obi-Wan, it can be even more enjoyable during the day," his Master replied, his voice telling Bant that his face was adorned with a smile. Oh no…they wouldn't! They couldn't! Could they? She was horrified at the thought.

"Oh could we, Qui-Gon? Thank you. I'm glad you're giving me a chance. Hold on, let me take these clothes off."

Now Bant did gasp; no amount of Jedi discipline could have stopped that. She could not let this happen! Without further delay, the young girl burst into the room, terrified of what position she would find them in –

And found Obi-Wan standing next to Qui-Gon, his tunic halfway off and what looked to be a pair of swimming trunks in his hand. Bant stood in the doorway, breathing hard and completely baffled. Not to mention, extremely embarrassed to find her best friend half naked.

"I…but…you," she sputtered, completely unable to come up with something coherent. The Master and Apprentice gazed at her in bafflement, and Bant wished she could become one with the Force and disappear right then and there. No doubt they could feel her embarrassment, which made it all the more embarrassing. She tried to let it flow through her and out, but it simply was not working for her at the moment. She was too mortified to concentrate.

"Bant? What are you doing?" Obi-Wan asked, confused. "Were you spying on us?"

"Uh…I…but you were talking and saying strange things, and I…Um…" Where was she going with this? She had no idea.

"What's the problem? I'm not a very efficient swimmer yet, not like Qui-Gon, so he's teaching me to be more graceful and fluid. We went to the lake last night, and he taught me some things. He thought it would be good for me to practice in the dark," Obi-Wan explained, walking over to stand beside Bant. He was confused as to what her problem was, and blissfully unaware that he was flustering her all the more as he stood so close in his bare-chested glory.

"You didn't get the wrong idea from our conversation, did you young one?" His expression was carefully stern, but his blue eyes sparkled with amusement.

Obi-Wan's eyes narrowed slightly as he thought, then widened in horror as he realized what Qui-Gon was implying. "You mean…you thought we..." His face turned as red as a ripe tomato, and he looked as if he might gag.

Meekly, she nodded. What else could she do? Qui-Gon's ice-blue eyes burned into her, and she had to fight not to flinch. I'm really in trouble now, she thought in despair. So there she stood and there she stayed, ashamedly staring at the floor as Obi-Wan muttered mortified comments in the background, "With my Master?"

As soon as she thought she could stand the silence no longer, the Jedi Master did something she would never have expected. He clutched his stomach and laughed hysterically.

After the initial shock of seeing his Master laugh so hard, Obi-Wan gradually joined in, and poor Bant stayed where she was, more ashamed than ever. Suddenly something occurred to her, and she had nothing left to lose, so she asked.

"But…but the licking…and the biting…" That had nothing to do with swimming!

Qui-Gon, who was working to control his laughter, broke out into a grin even wider than it had been before. Then, his smile softened slightly, and Bant assumed the Jedi Master was finally taking a little bit of pity on her. "I was bitten by a highly poisonous water snake. By the time I sensed it and plucked it off, it had been there long enough for it to bite me. It is customary for that species to lick their prey before penetrating the skin. There was not time for anything else, so Obi-Wan sucked the venom out for me," Qui-Gon finally explained, controlling his amusement with visible effort. He had composed himself, at least, which was more than she could say for herself. Jedi should not dwell on the past, but she was going to remember this for a long time.

Without another word, Bant turned and ran out of the room, Obi-Wan's laughter still echoing behind her.


Hehehehehehehe, even now I can't stop laughing. I couldn't keep a straight face the whole time I was writing this. Hope you guys enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, reviews are always appreciated ^_^