I was suddenly struck by this idea while I was falling down some stairs after watching Cheaper by the Dozen.

Theme: Humor

Rating: T

Description: This always was the worst part of the dating experience.

The Talk


Jaime cleared her throat awkwardly and uncrossed her legs only to re-cross them again with the opposite leg.

Clay's soul-piercing stare didn't waver.

He sat across from her in a straight backed chair, looking very much the evil, rich, mastermind in old movies. Or like the Young Frankenstein, but she wasn't going to tell him that. Elena was running around in the background, chasing his children to and fro. Their delighted squeals the only noise aside from Jaime's awkward attempts at conversation.

She swallowed nervously and laboriously, her throat suddenly dry as sand paper.

Her eyes darted to the side and looked at Antonio and Nick, both sitting on the adjoining couch and looking at her with expressions similar to Clay's. The intensity of three very powerful male werewolf's stares had her gagging down her spit again and avoiding eye contact.

She reached down with a shaky hand and picked up the water glass, sipping quickly and noisily in the silence.

"So," Clay began, his voice seemingly friendly but had a dangerously ominous undertone to it. "You and Jeremy are going out tonight." He stated, leaning back in his chair. Jaime nodded quickly.

"Yes sir." She answered quickly. Clay squinted at her.

"Where do you plan on going?" Antonio inquired. Jaime shifted her attention over to him. She swallowed again.

"We were thinking about going to a local restaurant and then go for a quick little walk in the park." She explained, a small smile lighting her face as she imagined it. The date had been his idea. She was coming down to visit anyway and he figured that since they hadn't seen each other in a while that he should take her out for a night in the town.

Always the gentleman.

"Uh-huh. Jaime," Clay sighed in a troubled manner and leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees. "Do you want to have sex with Jeremy?"

Jaime sputtered, ignoring the fact that they already had had sex before, which Clay didn't know—whether it was due to convenient ignorance or if he honestly had no idea; she weren't sure—and spewed nonsense out of her mouth.


Clay sighed again.

"I know exactly what all you horny middle-aged women think about. Sex, and, Jaime, just so you know," His voice dipped to a low growl. "If you break his heart I will not hesitate to break your neck."

Jaime laughed nervously, and somewhat psychotically, before she once again sipped her water. Elena took that chance to come walking in, panting and holding her two children under her arms. Kate kicked and writhed, protesting and giggling shrilly while Logan accepted his fate with grim sacrifice.

"Leave her alone, guys." Elena said, tossing her children onto the couch in between Antonio and Nick. "If she's horny that's good for her. I'm pretty sure that Jeremy is just as bad." She fiddled with Clay's hair and sat on one of the chair's arms. "Besides, Jeremy's a big boy; he can take care of himself."

Three simultaneous snorts of disbelief begged to differ with her statement. Jaime tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and flicked imaginary lint off of her skirt. Kate slid off the couch with the sort of difficulty only small children can manage and ran over to Jaime, tripping over her own feet in her haste. She grabbed onto Jaime's skirt and hauled herself up and looked up at her.

"Are you and Grandpa going on a date?" She asked, lisping slightly due to the fact she was missing one of her front teeth.

"I hope so." Jaime answered, smiling kindly. Kate made a face, like she couldn't figure out if she liked this or not. She opened her mouth to say something until she stopped abruptly and whipped her head towards the stairs. Jaime followed her gaze and saw that Jeremy was making his way down stairs. Clay merely gave a quick glance his way before returning his glare back to Jaime's face.

Jeremy, the perceptive man he is, took in the tension and the desperate look on Jaime's face and descended the stairs faster than he had before, taking her arm and leading her towards the door unfalteringly. They were trailed by the rest of the Pack and the group stopped at the door.

"Have him home by twelve." Clay warned. Nick cracked his knuckles. Jaime did that laugh again and Jeremy pulled her out the door and said his goodnights to his family.

On the car ride over to the restraint, Jaime explained to a curious Jeremy what was going on before he had arrived. She could tell that what Clay did had both irritated and amused Jeremy.

And, just to spite Clay;

Jeremy, not only had sex with Jaime, but three times, each in a public area, and came home at twelve o' one.

Jeremy's such a rebel.

Review please! Ideas or prompts are welcome!