3 English H/Period 6
A tale of Vikings and Coffee
One day, at the Viking camp of the midget Viking Stan the Imposing, there was a considerable amount of coffee missing from the vats that fed the camp its coffee. Stan, being the clever person that he is, suggested that they drink mead instead of coffee, and none of the Vikings objected. As everyone else had a very good time with their morning mead and afternoon hangover, Stan courageously went off to find the coffee, or else no one in the village would ever be in shape to pillage again. So, off he went. First he visited the local crazy farmer, who lived in a humble house of straw. When he asked about the coffee, the farmer spat at him and shut the door. Stan, being a Viking, set the house of straw on fire.
He then visited the harbor to ask the pirates at the dock. The pirates were nonchalant, but Stan could tell they knew something, so he chopped a big hole in their boat with his axe, and the boat sank. The pirates, having not existed in the same time period as the Vikings, were uneducated, and all drowned.
Finally, Stan went to visit the ninja lord who lived in the forest of story advancement. The ninja lord knew that Stan wanted something. Stan was the only sober Viking at the time, so he had no back up. The ninja lord was cautious, but overenthusiastic because he had drank too much coffee. Stan was almost fooled by the lord's eloquent speech, but then he noticed the coffee stains on the lord's sleeves, from the jittery hands of a coffee addict. The two got into an impressive fight that my writing skills can't describe. After the lord revealed where he was hiding the coffee, Stan cut his head off in a thoroughly bloody manner, and compassionately left it at that. Stan then resolutely fought his way to the coffee, hacking and slashing many a minion on his way, and then made his way home, confident that coffee would help sober up his fellow Vikings. He then went on to become a hero among the Vikings and his story went on to be known on this sheet of paper.