Love in the Air
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos.
Chapter 7: Matrimonial Melee
The assembled heroes looked on in shock as all out pandemonium broke out. The four women interested in Simon; Supergirl, Gypsy, Vixen, and Zatanna, had somehow managed to get to Almerac with Zatanna's magic. Upon seeing the man of their dreams shackled and almost marrying Maxima, a brawl had broken out between the five women. Supergirl grabbed a silver tray and bashed Maxima's head in, while Zatanna had Gypsy in a headlock, slamming her head against a wall. Vixen tried to make a move, but Supergirl grabbed her and power-bombed her through a table. The African-American model was out. The princess of Almerac got ready and speared Supergirl as soon as the Kryptonian blonde turned around. Both went through a wall and spilled out into the courtyard.
Gypsy finally escaped the head lock and suplexed the magician over her head. She then bolted for Simon and, grabbing the minister, ordered,
"Marry us right-."
That was when Zatanna spoke the words,
"ECNELIS, RETSINIM!" (1)
The minister opened his mouth, but no words were coming out. The illusion maker turned and shrieked,
FAIR! HE WAS MINE!"
She pounced, and began pulling on Zatanna's hair.
"And I thought weddings were supposed to be a happy occasion."
She then looked at Tigra,
"I bet this brings back memories."
I shackled him once, but that was only because I wanted to try it
She looked at her younger 'sister',
"Why am I telling you this again?"
"I knew this situation would end up bad. I just knew it. How are we going to break them up now?"
Persiana, not hearing anything her boyfriend had to say, observed,
"I just realized something; the number of women Simon has slept with."
Sentry looked at them,
"Why is that important?"
Farrah opened her mouth to explain, but Tigra quickly covered it,
"Not here, and not in front of the psycho jealous women. You realize they'd skin me and Carol alive right?"
Persiana then had a maniacal grin on her face. Superman and the others winced at that; this could only mean one thing.
"Farrah, don't do this."
The white-haired lioness began opening her mouth. The blonde Air Force Major shook her head,
"Farrah, I'm warning you! Don't do this!"
The lioness shouted at the top of her lungs,
PREGNANT WITH SIMON'S BABIES!!"
At this, the fighting stopped, and the five women fighting for Simon's affections all glared at the blonde soldier. Tigra groaned,
"Oh, little sis."
"Farrah! I am not carrying Simon's children. Sure, we had sex but-."
At this, all five women charged, tackling Miss Marvel and an all out beat down commenced.
Miss Marvel was sent sailing over their heads, into the wall. She had a silly grin on her face. Sentry rushed to her,
"Carol, are you all right?"
Miss Marvel smiled,
"But, Mommy, I want my night light on. The boogie man will get me if I don't have my night light on."
Farrah immediately grinned, while Lance shook his head,
are gonna run with this, aren't you?"
The were-lioness nodded,
A drunken Sazu looked on,
"Take it off! WWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Superman, who had finally got the restraints off of Wonder Man, said,
"Now that that's settled, we need to get out of here."
The red-eyed hero smirked,
think I can help with that."
He used his telepathy and knocked all the brawling women out. Superman activated the inter-dimensional teleporter and the heroes all went away, leaving a drunken Sazu, and an unconscious Maxima behind.
Back at the Watchtower…
The seven heroes were relaying their escapades to the rest of the tower. Well, six; Simon was busy running away from Gypsy, Supergirl, Vixen, and Zatanna. Flash laughed hysterically,
"That's how it all ended? Man, I wish I was there."
Diablos shook his head,
"I don't think you would want to."
Persiana, sitting on her boyfriend's lap, nodded in agreement,
"Yeah, but it could be worse. You should have seen Tigra when her animal side was dominant."
The were-tiger looked at her friend, shocked,
I am not that bad!"
A young man in a red and gold costume walked into the cafeteria. He had a gold and silver thunderbolt on his chest and his cape was in white and gold. His name is Captain Marvel. He beamed brightly,
"Wow, you must be the Avengers! Persiana told us all about you!"
He looked at Tigra,
"Are you really covered in fur?"
The were-feline just had her jaw drop open in shock. She stared dreamily at him, her eyes glazing over. Sentry looked at his friend,
"Uh, Greer, are you all right?"
want your babies!"
Everyone looked at Tigra, surprised, especially the hero, who was named Captain Marvel,
I didn't know you felt that way about me."
Tigra brushed up against him, purring,
ya single, cutie?"
Captain Marvel suddenly felt uncomfortable around her,
I think Superman's calling me."
He zipped out of there at speeds that would make Flash jealous. Tigra sighed happily. Persiana nodded,
"He is cute. Too bad he's a minor."
Tigra looked at her friend, stunned,
"What? But he's, I mean, he looks like…I saw him…"
She dropped her head,
"Kill me. Kill me now."
Miss Marvel comforted her,
all right. It's all right, Greer."
just need to ask you one question, Barbie."
Carol glared at her,
it true you still sleep with a night light on?"
The former Air Force pilot's eyes shot open. She roared,
TOLD YOU THAT?"
She made a grab for the feline, but Farrah was too quick and bolted out of there, the hot-headed heroine not to far behind. Diablos shook his head,
"Just another day at the Watchtower."
He looked out the door and saw Simon run by,
Supergirl, Gypsy, Vixen, and Zatanna were in hot pursuit. Diablos sipped some soda,
"Yep, just another normal day up here, or whatever passes for it."
(1) Means Silence, Minister!
End of Arc, and the first of many adventures for the Avengers in the DC universe.