Disclaimer: I do not own ER, Ray, Neela, or any of the music mentioned. I'm not trying to profit from any of the songs, it's for entertainment purposes only.
A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews!! It's always great to hear from all of you! You mean, I was actually able to surprise you for a change? Wow. I couldn't believe it but, it was still nice to know! I didn't think I would surprise you guys ever.
On a side note, if you'll notice, I decided to have titles for each chapter now. Their all going to be named after songs. The idea came to me just recently and Idk why I didn't think of it earlier!! Oh, and just in case you were wondering, no, I did not make up the title for chapter 2, it is an actual song lol. I know, I know, it's crazy but I just thought it would be very appropriate for that chapter, and really funny lol!
Anyway, enough from me, here's another chapter!!
Her whole life flashed in front of her eyes. She always thought that people who said that sort of thing about near death experiences were just making it up.
She had never been through anything like this before. They had always instructed the interns with these kind of situations and told them what to do. Stay calm and try to diffuse the situation. How was she supposed to diffuse a situation like this? She couldn't call for help. All clear thought had escaped from her head. Yes, she had been instructed on if something like this happened but, they had never told her how to deal with the fear.
She was all by herself. She wished someone would come. Anyone. But they didn't. What did he want? Why was he doing this? She thought of a few things: possibly rape, or maybe he wanted money, or he could have just been an insane patient. It was then that she knew with total certainty she was going to die.
"What do you want?" she shut her eyes in pain as he held the knife more tightly against her throat.
"I know you have it here." he said into her ear with burning anger and with a deadly look on his face.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She had always heard of people having these kind of experiences but you never think it will happen to you. These kind of things happen to other people, not to you.
"I know it's here, don't lie to me!" he was now starting to yell at her. Maybe she wouldn't have to worry about being alone. Someone might come in if they heard yelling.
"Please" she begged, trying to swallow her fear as best she could. "I don't know what you're talking about." He might kill her if she took too long to figure out what he was talking about, so she did her best to think of what it was, but the fact that she was so scared right now wasn't helping her figure it out.
He didn't respond to her and forced her to move to the other side of the room by the cupboards. He surprised her by loosening his grip slightly on the knife. Pointing towards the cupboards, he said "Is it in there?"
What was he talking about? "What?" This was so frustrating. Couldn't he just say what it was? "What do you want?" She couldn't stand it anymore, she was scared but she was getting sick of him expecting her to know what he was thinking.
"You're a doctor, you know where it is. You don't need to leave the room to get it for me. It's in here somewhere, where is it?!" He was shouting again. As much as it hurt to hear him shouting into her ear, she hoped he would do it more so someone would overhear.
After the ringing in her ears went away, it was starting to sink in. He was talking about drugs. He wasn't sick at all. She had said she was going to get them for him, so, what was going on? Why was he threatening her? He didn't want her to leave the room because he thought someone would see her and that he would get found out. That was why he said she didn't have to leave the room to go get them. He must be an addict.
"Why are you doing this?" she finally asked. She had been wanting to know this entire time. Maybe if she knew why then she could reason with him.
"Because I want you and everyone else to suffer like I have suffered." He dropped his hand from her throat and went in front of her, holding the knife close to her face. "I know it's in here." He wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted, and he didn't care what he had to do to get it.
Neela didn't know what to do. He didn't sound like he could be reasoned with. If she gave him something just to make him high then her medical license could be in jeopardy, but if she didn't do it for him then he could kill her. It was like having to decide between bad and worse. She had no choice. Her hand slightly trembling, she reached into the cupboard and pulled out a couple vials.
His eyes were watching her intently. He watched her pull out the vials with madness and obsession. He wanted the drugs, but she had the upper hand. She's a doctor and he isn't. She knew the names of the medications, and what they were used for. One of the bottles she pulled out was a sedative that would calm him down and put him to sleep, while the other was one they used on patients with mental problems. "No screwing around, you understand?" He let her know that he was watching her and wouldn't let her get away with not giving him what he asked for, just in case what she pulled out was really for something else, or maybe were placebos.
She didn't say anything to him and just gave him a small nod to let him know that she understood. She did her best not to let him know how scared she was.
Still pointing the knife at her, they made their way over to the table. He sat down as Neela went over to get a syringe. How was she going to live with herself after she did this? Doctor's don't lie to the patients. They don't say their giving them something when their really giving them something else. She could remember the Hippocratic Oath word for word, and she was about to break it. She kept telling herself that she didn't have a choice. She was backed into a corner. This wasn't lying or malpractice, this was self-defense.
After she walked back over, she started to fill the tube with the drugs. Then, she heard a noise that sounded like thumping at the door. Someone was trying to get in. She looked over at the door and then back at the man, realizing that he must have locked it when she had left to get the syringe. She felt relieved that someone was here, she didn't care who it was. She heard the person, whoever it was, trying repeatedly to turn the knob. It was pretty obvious that they weren't going to leave anytime soon. Using logic, she looked at him and said "If we don't answer that, they'll just come back." Hoping he would understand her point. Yes, whoever it was, she wanted their help, but there was truth to what she was saying. Not to mention whoever it was had to have already been getting suspicious. They didn't usually lock these doors.
Giving her a look to let her know how serious he was, he said "You say one word, just one word…" he started but didn't finish because he knew she would know what he was going to say.
She gave him a look like she understood, then walked over to the door. She took a breath in, trying to remain calm and do her best to control her panic. She wasn't sure if the person was still there until she heard them knocking on the other side of it. How was she going to tell this person what was going on without actually telling them? They should come up with some sort of secret signal for medical professionals to let each other know when their in trouble.
Standing in front of the door finally, she unlocked it. She opened it to see Ray standing there. It was the second time today that he had surprised her. Even though things were shaky between them right now, she couldn't have been more happy to see him.
"Neela, here you are." He had been looking for her? "One of your patients is critical and needs you." Looked like they made a little bit of progress from before, even if it was just about work and the hurt he was feeling was still evident, at least to her anyway. Right now, all she could think about was trying to figure out a way to get him to stay.
"Ok, I'll be there as soon as I'm finished" she looked deeply into his eyes. If she couldn't tell him, he might be able to tell from the look on her face. Somehow Ray always knew what was wrong, even when she didn't say anything.
Ray looked over Neela's shoulder and saw the man sitting on the table. Neela looked back and noticed that the knife had disappeared. Obviously he hid it so Ray wouldn't suspect anything.
They looked back at each other again. He didn't know why, but something about this seemed a little weird to him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was wrong. "Are you ok?" he asked quietly so only she could hear. He wasn't just talking about him and Neela.
She kept a serious face. Maybe he would figure it out. She hoped. He could already tell something was bothering her, just like he always did. "I'm fine, Raymond." She looked into his eyes again as she said his name in a way she never had, hoping he would pick up on it.
He gave her a confused look. She had never called him that ever. He must have hurt her more than he thought he had when they were in the drug lock-up. She had to have been upset. Maybe it was time for them to talk about this. After all, avoiding each other wasn't going to solve anything. They would talk later when they got home. "Ok" He gave her a look like he was sorry. He hated himself for hurting her. "I'll go work on him until you're finished." He hoped that would help make her feel a little better.
"Thank you" she mumbled quietly while doing her best to give him a little smile. She was very worried and upset that he hadn't figured it out. Maybe he didn't know her as well as she thought he did. She did have to spell things out for him sometimes, but this time she really couldn't. She closed the door and locked it again, figuring that if she didn't that Mr. Murphy would say something. She walked back over and was shocked when she felt the man, once again, put the knife to her throat just like he had before. Why was he doing this? She hadn't done anything. She hadn't told Ray anything.
"What did you say to him?" he said angrily. He had seen them whispering to each other. He must have thought she had told him something.
"Nothing. I didn't say anything." She knew how that must have sounded. He wasn't going to believe her. Why her? She was a good person, why was this happening to her?
"Yes, you did" he exclaimed, sticking the knife into her throat further. She could almost feel what it would be like to really be stabbed, the knife was digging that far into her throat. "What did you say to him?"
Before Ray had knocked on the door, things had seemed like they were going to be ok, but now she was right back where she started. What was she going to do? Was there anything she could say to convince him? No matter what she said he was going to think she was lying. "I didn't say anything to him. He doesn't know" she said with more boldness, hoping he would just believe her but doubting he would. She was quickly nearing her breaking point. If he didn't believe her, then he was going to kill her.
Then, she felt the man quickly remove the knife away from her throat. For a second she felt relieved that he had actually believed her, until she heard what sounded like struggling behind her. She turned around and saw Mr. Murphy and Ray fighting with each other. Ray had come in and grabbed the man from behind. She locked the door, how did he get in here? The two of them struggled for a few moments until Ray pushed him back. The man stood there with the knife pointed at both of them while Ray stood in front of Neela to protect her. He knew Neela, and he had never seen her act that way before, and more importantly, she had never ever called him 'Raymond' before in the whole time he had known her. Something had to be wrong.
"I knew you told him" the man said, even angrier than he had been before.
"She didn't" Ray replied back with a look on his face that Neela had never seen before. It wasn't so much fear, although she was sure it was there, but it looked more like he was angry. The very idea that anyone would try to hurt Neela, his Neela, made him furious. Ray was always so sweet and gentle, especially with her, but for the first time in her life, Neela could see that Ray wanted to kill him.
"She must have told you something" he said, with murder in his eyes "They always do!". What did he mean? 'They' who? "I spent 6 years in prison because of my wife!" Ray and Neela both looked at him, listening to him and trying to understand what he was saying. "She told me she loved me, and she turned me in!" By the word 'they', he must have meant 'women'.
Now they understood, but of course since Neela had been in the room with him this entire time, she knew more than Ray did. His wife turned him in because of his drug addiction. He had either sold drugs or bought them illegally. "Before she took my two kids and left me." Even though this guy was insane, a small part of them felt a little bad for him. It was sad his kids were living without a father, but at the same time, he couldn't blame his wife because he had only brought this upon himself.
Looking at Ray, he said "And I am not going back there", talking about going back to prison. He lunged forward with the knife to stab Ray who jumped out of the way just in time. Ray reached forward and grabbed his hand, the one that had the knife in it. They struggled as Ray tried to get him to drop the knife. Neela just stood there, not really sure what to do and in shock. The knife dropped to the floor and just as the man started to lean down to pick it back up, Ray punched him in the face as hard as he could, making him fall to ground and lose consciousness.
After waiting a few seconds to make sure the man was really out, Ray looked back up at Neela, who was standing right there. Taking a few steps toward her, they just stared at each other. They were both still in shock and not really sure what to say right now. He had just saved her life. Looking up at him, not able to say anything right now because she was still coming off of what had happened and also feeling so moved because of what Ray had just done, she did the only thing she could think of to do. She quickly went forward and put her arms around him, squeezing him as tight as she could. He returned the embrace and wrapped his arms around her. He felt her body trembling and heard her sobbing softly. He ran his fingers gently through her hair and whispered "It's ok now."
Both of them knew they couldn't stay here long. The man would come-to eventually. They would just stay here for a few moments while Neela calmed down.
"How did you get in here? The door was locked." Not that she wasn't glad he had come, of course she was, but she couldn't figure it out.
"You locked that door" he said as he looked at the door where they had talked earlier "Just that one. Not the other one." Letting her know how he had gotten in. He had sneaked into the other door.
That's right. She had forgotten about the other door. Not all the rooms had doors that could lock, but this one did, and she was glad that Ray had been smart enough to check the other door, too. He did know her as well as she thought he did after all. How could she have forgotten about the other door? Her fear must have been affecting her logic and memory. And the patient hadn't noticed it? Not that she wanted him to. "Thank you" she said softly as a couple tears fell.
He held her tighter to let her know how he felt without having to say it. Just a while ago they could hardly stand to be around each other and now they were starting to remember what it had been like to have each other in their arms, missing the feeling of it. Somehow, some way, they would work through this. They didn't know how, but they would. They couldn't lose each other. Not now, not ever.
"What happened?" He still wasn't entirely sure what that guys deal was. He had only heard part of the story and he hadn't been there from the beginning. Why had he pulled a knife on her? He could have just been a psycho, but maybe getting her to talk about it would help. He hoped.
She closed her eyes. It took a little while before she could say it even though the feeling of Ray's arms around her was starting to get her to calm down. "He said he had stomach pains. I told him I would get him some pain meds and he put a knife to my throat." Talking about it was starting to make her relive it in her mind and that was hard, but Ray was helping.
He stroked her back softly. Poor Neela. Good thing he came when he did. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't. He didn't even want to think about it.
A couple more tears fell before she continued "He didn't want me to leave the room, and he forced me to get drugs from in here. All he wanted was drugs." There. She had finally told him everything. It did make her feel better, especially knowing the fact that he cared that much about her and wanted back into her life again.
"He just wanted to get high" Ray said as it sunk in. He finally understood after she told him what happened. He leaned back a little, wanting to look at her and asked concerned "Did he hurt you?" Wondering if maybe there were some sort of cut or wound he couldn't see.
This was the Ray she remembered. The one that she had missed these past few weeks. The one who cared about her. "No" she said as she looked back at him knowing he had been meaning had he hurt her in any way. After all, he didn't know every single thing that had happened before he got there.
Putting his hand to her cheek he said "Good" looking into her eyes, he realized that he didn't want to wait until they were home to talk. He couldn't wait that long. He wanted to do it now, but they couldn't do it here, plus they didn't have much time right now. "Neela…" he started, wanting to tell her they should leave and call security. After they did that, he wanted to talk to her.
She looked back into his eyes as he said her name. She thought she saw him look past her and somewhere else out of the corner of his eye, but she wasn't sure. He suddenly started acting a little odd. Noticing that he wasn't doing it anymore, she waited for him to finish what he was going to say, but he surprised her by pushing her to the side and onto the floor. He didn't do it violently, but that didn't mean that it wasn't still on the rude side. What was that about? Had he actually just pushed her onto the floor? Ray had never seemed like the violent type. He hadn't hurt her, but why would he do that to her after what she just went through? The initial shock wearing off, she looked up just in time to see the man stabbing Ray in the stomach. Neela watched in horror. Ray must have noticed that the patient had regained consciousness and didn't want to scare her. He had seen him coming with the knife. That made sense since the man had been behind her the whole time. That was why he had pushed her out of the way.
The man quickly ran out of the room while Neela was still sitting on the floor. Ray looked at her for a second before he collapsed onto the floor, landing hard on his back. She was at his side in an instant. "Ray" she said, her voice cracking. She put her hand to his face and then said "Ray, look at me. Please." The tears started to spill over even faster. Every time she had thought things were going to be fine or that they had gotten better, they had actually only gotten worse instead.
He held his hand to his stomach and looked at her with his eyes half open. If he died, then at least the last face he would ever see would be hers.
She put one hand on his chest, while the other hand was still on his cheek and said "You're going to be ok. Everything is going to be ok" she told him, trying to convince herself of it, too. She got up and ran to the door, pushing it open like a maniac and shouted "I need help in here! Please?!" Several people looked and started making their way over. She went back and sat next to him again, this time taking his hand in hers. She felt comforted when she felt him give her hand a gentle squeeze. He still had life in him somewhere.
He had seen the man moving around from the corner of his eye. He didn't want to tell Neela because she had already been through enough as it was. He also made sure the patient didn't know, too. He had seen him stand back up with the knife in his hand, getting ready to stab Neela. He wished he could have been able to save the both of them, but the guy was coming too fast and Ray only had enough time to save one of them. He felt bad for pushing her onto the floor, but it was just a reflex. She would have gotten stabbed instead if he hadn't done it. If he had to choose between the two of them who got to live, it would always be her. Of course it was her, and if he could do it again, he wouldn't have done it any differently. He had risked his own life to save her, and he didn't regret it for a second.
The last conscious thought Ray had was that he had done what he came in there to do. He had saved her and protected her. Twice. The last thing he thought before everything went black was that at least it had been him, and not her.
A/N: I've never done suspense before, but I like it!! Hope I'm writing it ok!
Hope you enjoyed this chapter!! Please review!