Rating: T (rating will go up in later chapters)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Warnings for this chapter: some minor boyxboy; cursing
Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or any of the characters!
Notes: This story contains Yaoi, so if that isn't your thing turn back now! You've been warned. Sorry if there are any mistakes. English is not my native language, so it's a little difficult for me sometimes. :)
Word count: 3,642
Summary: There's always been more between Kaname and Zero than hatred, but neither one is willing to admit their feelings. When Zero is forced to drink Kaname's blood and something goes wrong, his feelings threaten to overwhelm him.
"Hatred is simply an emotion born out of the desire to be accepted by someone else."
(Natsuo Kirino: Out)
Chapter 1: Resistance
„What the fuck do you want from me? Just leave me the hell alone, you damn vampire!"
Kaname sighed. He had expected as much from the ex-human, but he couldn't deny that he had hoped for at least a little bit of cooperation.
He had known there would be resistance to a certain degree, but it was unnerving nonetheless.
Kaname furrowed his brow in annoyance and backed Zero against one of the trees surrounding them. The moon shone brightly in the sky above them and covered everything in a gentle light, the total opposite to the otherwise tense mood between the two vampires.
"Lower your voice, Kiryuu-kun. Unless you want the entire dorm to listen to our little conversation."
Zero growled deep in his throat, but shut his mouth and just continued to glare at the pureblood as if he wanted to kill him this instant.
Therefore Kaname didn't know if it was unconsciously or knowingly when he saw Zero's hand slowly wander down to the Bloody Rose, which the hunter kept hidden under his uniform.
Why did he have to be that stubborn?
"If I were you I wouldn't do that." Kaname stated coolly and Zero's hand stopped dead in its tracks.
"Listen…" Kaname finally said and pinched the bridge of his nose. All those arguments during the last weeks were slowly getting to him and the headache he had been able to hold back until now made itself known.
Kaname forced himself to concentrate on the task at hand.
"I know you don't want to work together with a vampire, especially not me…"
"You couldn't be more right…" Zero murmured quietly and averted his gaze from the pureblood's dark eyes.
The words hurt Kaname more than he let show. No one knew, but he had cared for this stubborn hunter for a long time now.
He cared a lot. Too much for his own liking, but neither could he stop his feelings towards the ex-human nor would he keep away from him.
He couldn't explain it, but he was inevitably drawn to Zero. His body and mind yearned for the hunter every time their eyes met, every time they touched, even if it was just a brief contact full of mischief and hate… at least on Zero's side.
"The Chairman asked me to accompany you on this mission even if we just have to hunt down some Level E vampires. And that's exactly what I will do."
His last words had a dangerous edge to them, but not in order to scare the hunter but because he couldn't keep his concern at bay.
Kaname wanted to make sure that there would be nothing able to hurt his Zero.
Had he really just thought that?
Damn, this was far worse than he had expected it to be.
Zero growled and brought Kaname back to reality.
"I don't care what the Chairman asked you to do and I'm definitely not interested in what you are planning! But why the hell do you expect me to drink your blood?"
So that was the point that infuriated him. It was just something Kaname had suggested in the heat of the moment, born out of his unwavering desire to protect the silver-haired hunter. But the pureblood couldn't deny that the thought that Zero didn't completely detest him gave him a little hope.
Zero was okay with Kaname coming along on the mission. Well, at least as much as his pride would allow him. But he didn't want to take Kaname's blood, even if he offered it to him willingly. Even if every other vampire would die for a chance like that.
Kaname knew that his blood would be able to keep the hunter sane and at the same time multiply his powers. In this case he wouldn't have to worry this much anymore. He would always be worried about Zero, but it wasn't something he could help. Well… but the thought alone of Zero drinking his blood made Kaname's desire well up again.
There had only been a few occasions on which the hunter was forced to drink his blood in order to not hurt anyone. And it would always be his bloodlust that forced him down.
Kaname was sure that under normal circumstances Zero would rather die than to drink from another vampire. But since they had come to an agreement it shouldn't concern Kaname. Right, it shouldn't…
`But why would he make it any easier for me?´
His patience had reached a dead end.
"You know that you need my blood! Your body is craving for it and if you would stop being so stubborn and just accept what I have to offer you wouldn't be constantly in pain. And don't even try to deny it!" he growled as Zero opened his mouth to protest. "I know you're suffering!"
`And it hurts me to see you like this.´
"If you refuse to take my blood you won't be any help to me on the mission tomorrow. Or do you want me to take care of everything? Do you want to be a burden and just stand by and watch me do your work?"
Provoking the hunter was the last way Kaname wanted to use in order to coax him to take his blood. But what other choice did he have left? Zero's immediate reaction proved him right.
"The hell, Kuran!" Now he was definitely pissed and his eyes began to glow a bright red, more because of his immense anger than from actual bloodlust. "You always think that you are superior to everyone else, but you know what? You're just some rich and ignorant monster!"
"You're not that much different from me, Zero."
"Don't you even dare to compare us! And stop calling me by my name like that!"
`What do I have to do to make you trust me, Zero?´ Kaname thought and felt a light stinging in his eyes as the harsh words of the hunter kept replaying in his mind. `And why can't I tell you how I truly feel without destroying everything?´
Why did this damn vampire have to suggest something like that? Wasn't it already hard enough for him? Something like that…
If this continued Zero wouldn't be able to hide his true feelings towards the Pureblood anymore. He had realized them some time ago, and even if they were confusing in the beginning he had come to accept them.
That didn't mean that he would tell Kaname. Hell no! Zero could clearly imagine how the pureblood would react and he was definitely not willing to get hurt by the rejection that was sure to come. He wouldn't be able to take it.
Furthermore, Zero didn't want to be in love with a vampire. After all the things that had happened in his past he just couldn't accept this bloodthirsty side which tortured him every second of his cursed life. He would never admit it, but Kaname was right. He needed the blood of the vampire in front of him in order to keep his control and sanity.
But at the moment the fact that their bodies were extremely close didn't help at all. He could smell Kaname's unique scent, and every time he exhaled softly his breath would brush over Zero's sensitive skin and sent shivers through his entire body.
Since his back was pressed against a tree, Zero had no way to escape and slowly but surely his determination crumbled. Why couldn't he tell Kaname how he felt? Why couldn't he touch him? Oh, how he wanted to reach out and brush his fingers over this porcelain-like skin. Just to find out if it was as smooth as it looked… and those lips… they stood in sharp contrast to the otherwise fair skin and they seemed so soft…
Zero shook his head vigorously as he realized that he had been staring and quickly averted his gaze.
But that was definitely a bad idea because as soon as his eyes left Kaname's face and the suspense slowly disappeared they were magically drawn to his neck. Zero gulped as the thirst crashed through his body and made him shudder. He wasn't able to take his eyes away from the steady pulse beneath this perfect skin. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't break this hypnotic state.
And suddenly he realized something. Something that let his heart beat faster in fear.
He would not be able to stop. The last time he had taken blood from the pureblood was more than four weeks ago and he hadn't recognized how much his body craved it. If he let this beast inside of him off, he wouldn't be able to keep a clear mind. He would hurt Kaname…
`No, no, no, no! I can't let this thirst control me… I won't!´
The concerned voice brought him back to the present events and hesitantly he met Kaname's gaze.
He loved the way Kaname called his name. With a sigh he closed his eyes, just so he didn't have to look at the tempting neck in front of his face. They were mere inches apart and Zero knew that he did only have to lean forwards to touch the pureblood- to feel him… taste him…
There it was again. This soft tone in which Kaname whispered his name. Zero wasn't sure, but in moments like this it nearly seemed as if Kaname was truly concerned about him.
And the thought alone made his heart flutter wildly in his chest.
But he couldn't take the risk.
"I can't." he stated desperately and looked up into the purebloods face. "I can't do this..."
"You have to. I won't let you fight in this state."
Zero forced back a new wave of bloodlust that threatened to take over his mind and let his eyelids fall shut.
"No. I will take more than you are willing to give…"
Zero snapped his head back up as he heard a small chuckle. Kaname smiled lightly as their eyes met.
"You won't hurt me, don't worry. I will stop you in time."
Zero shook his head again.
Kaname sighed quietly and loosened his grip on the hunter's arms. Zero relaxed slightly. That was until the intoxicating scent of Kaname's blood flooded his senses.
As he looked up at the pureblood in panic he could see a small cut on his neck that he had probably inflicted upon himself. The scent was overwhelming and it took Zero everything he could muster not to latch at Kaname and pierce the soft skin of his throat with his fangs.
"Why…?" Zero asked through clenched teeth. His eyes flashed red and, not able to control his actions, he leaned towards the source of this alluring scent and breathed in deeply.
"Because that's all I can give to you." Kaname said sadly and closed the distance between their bodies with one step. "Now drink."
Zero groaned in pain, but stubbornly refused to give in.
"Don't worry." Kaname said again and rested one hand behind Zero's neck, pulling him slightly closer without forcing him. "I trust you."
That was all it took to break down Zero's inner walls. He leaned in almost immediately and let his tongue wander along Kaname's exposed collarbone, making him shudder, before biting down lightly, not breaking the skin yet.
"Zero, please…" Kaname's voice was strained with suppressed desire and he balled his hands into fists, resting them on the hunter's back.
Something inside Zero snapped and all he could muster was a low moan before he sank his fangs deep into the soft skin of Kaname's neck.
He had expected pain as Zero's fangs pierced his skin, but what he felt now was so much different than all the other times before.
Every single nerve seemed to concentrate on the place where Zero currently greedily sucked his blood and Kaname stifled a moan as their bodies pressed even tighter together.
"Zero…" he groaned quietly and shivered as he felt said hunter's hand tracing over his back and along his spine. His whole body seemed on fire and soft moans escaped his mouth before he could stop them. He rested his arms around Zero's waist and tilted his head a little, so the silver-haired teen got better access.
"That's right." he whispered and caressed the others back gently. "Take all you need…"
Time seemed to come to a stop.
Kaname felt how he was slowly drained of his energy, but it didn't matter. Zero would be better after this. That was the only thing he was able to think as everything else around him seemed to blur. His knees gave out under him and the only thing that kept him from falling were the strong arms wrapped around his waist.
He sighed and ran his hand gently through Zero's silver hair, marvelling at its silkiness.
Kaname knew that he had to stop Zero soon, but he just couldn't bring himself to break this contact- the only contact they would ever have…
And it just felt so good.
Zero had pulled Kaname into his arms, so he could fully lean against him while the hunter greedily drank down his blood.
Maybe he didn't do it consciously, but his hands never stopped in their motions, stroking soothingly over Kaname's back. Sometimes his fingers drew lazy circles over his neck and played with the mahogany-coloured strands.
Kaname sighed as those gentle fingers brushed over a spot near his ear that made his entire body shudder, which was- he had to admit openly- not at all helpful while he desperately tried to gain control over his growing desire.
In his dazed mind he was well aware of the fact that he had already lost an immense amount of blood and that, if Zero continued to drink like this, his body wouldn't be able to keep up with it. Kaname felt just slightly dizzy yet, but his strength had disappeared altogether.
As time went by his vision started to blur even more and it took him everything he had to lift his hands. But instead of pushing the hunter away like his mind screamed for him to do, he just held tightly onto his shoulders, afraid to let go. Afraid to loose whatever it was that held them together at this moment.
`Is it wrong to want this? Is it wrong to love you?´
Kaname closed his eyes. As his consciousness began to fade away he mustered his last strength and planted a soft kiss on Zero's neck before letting go…
The moment Kaname's blood filled his mouth Zero's mind went completely blank.
He didn't know if it was just because of the fact that their last encounter was so long ago or if he started imagining things, but the taste that filled his mouth was so much sweeter than he remembered it to be.
`Oh god…!` It was delicious.
He wasn't able to stop. He needed this blood… needed everything Kaname was able to give.
In the back of his mind something told him that he needed to remain in control, but Zero was too far gone already. The warm liquid ran down his throat and stilled a part of his thirst, but still it wasn't enough. It would never be enough… the monster inside of him struggled to break free and with every passing second Zero wondered why he didn't just let go. Why did he fight something that was a part of him?
His deep-red eyes opened as he felt Kaname shift slightly in his arms, but he didn't loosen his hold on the Pureblood. He needed more…
With a low growl Zero sank his fangs even deeper into this inviting neck and a new wave of blood flooded into his mouth and down his parched throat. Every second was like heaven and as the blood got into his system his mind began to clear.
Just now was he able to comprehend the different images that attacked him all at once.
Kaname's hands on his back, his soft skin under his lips, the light that was reflected in his hair, his scent… god, he smelled just like roses on a rainy day… Zero knew that he had never before smelled something as delicious and alluring as this. And with the overwhelming scent of Kaname's pure blood mixed in it was simply irresistible.
But all these things became unimportant when the events suddenly took a turn.
He felt Kaname's lips softly brush over his neck and his heart sped up, just to stop seconds later as Kaname's body suddenly went limp in his arms.
Immediately he retracted his fangs and cursed as he met no reaction from the pureblood. Carefully he lowered him onto the soft grass and called his name several times, touching his hand to Kaname's shockingly cool cheek. Still no reaction.
`No, no, no, no, no, no… that can't be happening! Please…!´
Tears threatened to fall as he let his eyes wander over Kaname's terribly pale face. What had he done?
"Oh god, no…" He couldn't hold back the sob and let his lids fall shut as hot tears welled up in his eyes and ran down his cheeks. "Please Kaname…! Please…! God, please open your eyes!"
The seconds seemed to stretch into eternity before Zero heard a small groan. As he let his eyes wander back to Kaname's face he was met with half-lidded auburn eyes.
Relieve washed over him, but was almost immediately replaced by anger.
"Damn it, Kaname!" Zero growled and wiped the tears away that still ran down his cheeks. "What did you do that for? You said you would stop me if I threatened to go overboard! Damn it!"
"Don't just say that you're sorry!" Zero cursed loudly and looked directly into Kaname's dark eyes. "Shit, I could've killed you!"
"Well, you didn't." stated the pureblood matter of factly and earned himself a threatening growl from Zero. Unfazed, he continued. "You stopped in time, so there is nothing to worry about."
Zero jumped to his feet and glared down at the defenceless vampire.
"That's absolutely not the point, damn it! I could've killed you and we both know it. Don't let your guard down so easily!"
"It's alright if it's you." Kaname whispered lowly, more to himself than to the silver-haired hunter. But due to his sensitive ears Zero picked up this words that made his heart beat at an extremely high rate.
As if he just realized what he had said Kaname blushed lightly and closed his eyes with a sigh, turning his head away.
Zero on the other hand was rendered speechless and just continued to stare at the vampire in front of him.
He realized that Kaname was still breathing heavily and that he didn't seem able to lift his body from the chilly grass. Every other word Zero wanted to say got stuck in his throat and he sank back down to his knees next to the pureblood.
"If you want to… I could help you back to your room."
Kaname's auburn gaze turned to look at him and a slight smile grazed his lips.
"I will be fine. Just give me some more minutes."
As Zero sent him an incredulous glare Kaname snickered softly and pushed himself up onto his elbows as if to prove his words. He remained in this position for at least ten seconds before carefully sitting up and running a hand over his neck, seemingly oblivious to his own actions. The bite marks were long since gone, but the skin was still slightly reddened.
With a low groan Kaname stood up, and would have lost his balance if not for Zero who steadied him without hesitation.
"And you sure will be alright?" He couldn't keep the worry entirely out of his voice, but Kaname didn't seem to mind. On the contrary, his smile widened and he leaned lightly against Zero before breaking the contact and taking some unsteady steps in the direction of his dorm.
"I think I will make it to the dorm without further help, but thank you. If you excuse me now… I will take my leave and try to rest for our mission tomorrow."
Zero looked at his retreating back and couldn't help the different thoughts that raced through his mind. He regretted hurting the pureblood, but he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed their proximity and the incredible taste of Kaname's blood on his tongue that couldn't be compared to anything else.
And the feeling he got when those perfect lips brushed over his neck... the memory alone made him shiver.
With one last look he turned away and headed back to his own room in the Sun Dorms.
`I hope he will be okay.´
He didn't know how he managed to reach his room in the Moon Dorm without the other vampire nobles noticing, but as he finally let the door fall closed behind himself, Kaname didn't even bother to change into his nightclothes before falling onto his bed.
He would shower in the morning and hopefully one night would be enough time to restore his power.
On the other hand, they only had to eliminate some Level E vampires. He wouldn't need his entire strength and with Zero by his side it would be even easier.
There was nothing to worry about…
The last thing that flashed through his mind was an image of Zero, hovering over him with tears in his beautiful lilac eyes.
`Maybe he does care…´ were his last thoughts before sleep claimed him.