Title: Vinegar, & Spear, & Reeds

Pairing: Link/Allen, Rouvelier

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: DGM belongs to Hoshino Katsura et al.

A/N: Ack! I don't know! You should never ask me these things, etc.


The first time Howard Link got acquainted with the Allen Walker, Destroyer of Food Extraordinaire, he wound up on the receiving end of a third degree riot act. Link had never been so burned before. Walker nearly set him on fire, brazen, with his snapping words, childlike in appearance, evil to the core. And Link knows evil.


To articulate what Walker is like, one would have to delve into what he eats, for example. Walker will eat anything one sets out before him. Most of everything, really. He will avoid the odd spice or two; he has an aversion toward ginger. Few breads are a sin to him. He definitely did not approve of the chocolate I had given him as a bribe in order to discuss General Cross. Unfortunate for him, to say the least; chocolate improves brain function.

Before I say too much, I must include that Walker steers clear of vinegar. He might not be too wary of his own habits, and obsessions, just as he does not see the potential in vinegar. Pardon my speculation, but the acid content within his conscience could be balanced if only he knew better.

In time, it could disintegrate his evil. If only he took the time to study, to observe, he would have cottoned on to the fact that acid would do him no justice.

It would mean certain words if Walker is ever confronted with a bowl to wash his feet. He does not even dare discuss the meaning of washing one's feet.


The second time Howard Link got acquainted with the Allen Walker, Bearer of Bad News Extraordinaire, he got the biggest splinter known to mankind; big, bulky, nasty. Link is one for irony, of course, so he naturally thought it appropriate for it to be in his writing hand and not somewhere like his side. He's used to splinters in his side.


To continue, Walker, no matter how well received by comrades, is like a spear in one's side. He works for what he wants, be it apparent or underhanded; this proves no obstacle for him. He is not evil in this regard, no. Rather, he is like a religious relic, enduring, relying on fear and the fear of others so as to take action, and being the center of controversy. This is but a superficial observation, but Walker, after all of having this endurance and surviving controversy, is weakening.

He is weak, and weakening those around him. A falling idol. I have concluded this has put him in the position of a false witness of the Church. One cannot be the weapon and be the weakened simultaneously.

Can one be the Second Coming Messiah and be the weapon that finished the First Coming Messiah simultaneously?

I have yet to deduce this much.


The third time Howard Link got acquainted with the Allen Walker, Closet Altar Boy Extraordinaire, he got very close. So close, Walker had to hide something on his person and panic and rush off, saying something about dinner and studies and calisthenics, an embarrassment-harassment on the tail of his voice. Link did not know how to purify any of it, but he did believe that, if Walker died now, he might still stink of a saint's odor.


A saint, by loose translation - being that Walker is still quite evil by many regards. Though he has proved himself to be capable of good; for instance, he knows the ways of Church goers in addition to non-Church goers. He lights his candles, he gives to the poor and no longer pilfers from them, he knows the verses; he can recite the daily prayers in Latin. General Cross had been thorough in this area.

It would do to mention that asking Walker to recite for you would be a grave mistake. (Refer to splinter incident.) He seems to have lost his will to serve others, and now, has made a constitution to serve himself. He has set his priorities on the evil inside.

The last instance that I know of concerns Walker laying out reeds on wooden plates inside his quarters. Because I live with him, he no longer takes my – priorities - into consideration. He claims he has grown used to the company, stopping at nothing to purify the room.

This, of course, could have been resolved with vinegar, or holy water, but Walker, being the obstinate, cavalier one, laid out the reeds in ways that I cannot fully explain. He would not explain them to me. Out of duty, I joined him in the search for more reeds. He believed them to hold a great power; I believed him to be exposing himself even further to me, as were my orders.

He had stopped a nun in the corridor to ask for assistance. She immediately believed him, and without query, led him to the reeds in supply.

He returned to the room where I had been waiting for him to prove himself further.


The final time Link got acquainted with Walker, he just about twisted his side in agitation. He'd understood him, while Walker was so blue, and he'd understood him, while Walker reached his hand out to hold Link's pointed finger, pointing at the reeds. Walker said, don't you understand, they're pure here, and I've got to get away.

Link didn't think to ask what Walker was getting away from. But he sort of knew what was going on, in any case.

And he'd seen Allen touch himself.

He'd seen The Fourteenth touch himself.


That was a lovely speech, Inspector, says Rouvelier.

Thank you, sir, says Link, squashing the abashed part of him. Upending silence.

Are you done with it, asks Rouvelier. Too. Suggestively.


Your speech.

Link hesitates. My report has - to my chagrin, been concluded thus far.

Is that to say you have not reached a conclusion?

Sir? Link hems, incentive working overtime, feeling the weightlessness of his knife. Suddenly, it's running away from him. He forgets what comes next. What had he planned? Rouvelier doesn't have the will of a saint nor the vengeance of a devil, and that is why Link summons the courage to say, I apologize to the fullest extent, sir, but I must revise: Walker is not the Second Coming Messiah.

Rouvelier twiddles his moustache, silently inspecting him. Eating him alive with his eyes. Then he waves Link away, ordering him to accompany Allen Walker to the Holy Land. Perhaps this will draw out the . . . Noah.

You will find the insides of him there, Rouvelier cautions.

Link is afraid that he may be right. After all that understanding he had done for Allen, too.

Though . . . (Link is bowing out the door, arm behind back, running away, running away from his mentor, closer still to his tormentor.)

Mayhap he'll get the chance this time, this time, to wash The Fourteenth's feet.