This is possibly the most random one-shot I've ever written.
And, believe it or not, this one's actually based on reality!
Only Shirley and I weren't fortunate enough to have two thirds of JONAS come to the rescue.
We did, however, throw her poster (apparently she only has it because Robert Pattinson's on the back. Sure...) at the spider and...
Well, they reacted a little differently than they do in the story.
Enjoy my insanity. Or don't. Sup to yourself.
Incey Wincey Spider.
Macy pulled her legs up against her chest and nestled into the sofa, popcorn in hand, with a copy of Camp Rock and a soft, cuddly quilt.
It was seven thirty pm and Macy's mom was on a date so Macy had the entire house to herself.
Her phone flashed, indicating a text reply from Stella.
"Sorry, can't hun. I'm too busy killing Joe. Rain check?"
For a second Macy misread the word killing and almost jumped for joy.
But her glee was cut short when she realised that it didn't say what she thought it did.
In other words: "I'm sick to death of watching Camp goddamn bloody Rock. And puh-leeze. As if I'd have ever let them dress like that. The movie stylist should be shot."
Not to mention the person who decided Kevin was only in a fraction of the movie. Macy added silently.
Suddenly her phone flashed again, pulling Macy from her reverie about a Camp Rock centred around the oldest JONAS. That would be the most hilarious movie ever.
It was another text from Stella.
"Hey, why don't you invite Kevin over? He's got nothing to do and he's really annoying myself and Joe who are trying to come up with a new look for the boys' new music video, seeing as they've gone behind my back and changed their sound and all (Joey's reading this over my shoulder). And Nick's out with Penny or Jenny or … Cat…"
Macy's heart beat increased at the thought of having Kevin in the house.
It was a wonderful, amazing, perfect, terrifying thought.
And she'd love nothing more.
But she was a hazard to the boy.
Not to mention the fact that she was watching his movie. Well.. Joe's movie. But whatever. Kevin was in it. (Just not enough.)
After humming along to all the tunes and dancing along to the Final Jam song Macy sighed as the credits rolled.
It was only quarter to nine. Her mom wouldn't be home until…
Actually, her mom probably wouldn't be home tonight.
She was out with Troy. Macy's old swim coach, before he gave up being a regular swim coach. He now specialises in teaching disabled kids how to swim. And, he wasn't the typical "Mom's boyfriend" type. Macy actually adored him and secretly hoped her mom would marry him someday.
What to watch? Macy thought as she pulled Camp Rock from the DVD player.
Hum…Troy… She mused as her fingers trailed up along her stack of DVDs. I'm gonna watch High School Musical.
As it came to her favourite part --Sharpay's wonderful "Is this some kind of joke?!" scream-- Macy let out a scream of her own.
For she spied a gigantic spider scurrying under the coffee table.
Macy Misa was afraid of nothing.
And especially spiders the size of tennis balls.
She grabbed her phone, intending to call Mike --the next door neighbour who was usually called when there was a spi-mergancy-- but she remembered he was on holidays in Barcelona for the week.
She scrolled through her contacts looking for someone who (was brave) lived close enough to her to get there in a hurry.
The only person she could think of was-
Before she even realised what she was doing he was answering his phone.
"Hello?" He answered after the first ring. And something in his voice almost sounded like he had been waiting for her call.
But that was impossible.
"I know…" Then he added quickly. "Caller ID."
"Oh right, of course…um…I hate to bother you-"
"Macy, are you alright? You sound kinda nervous… Is there someone in your house? I'd send Big Man over but he's-"
"No, no…not someone…something…"
"It's a spider…and I…well…I'm afraid…."
She heard Kevin chuckle on the other line.
She gave him daggers before remembering he couldn't see her.
"Is it big?" He asked.
"Uh…no…" Macy lied, not wanting her only hope to be too scared to come over.
He chuckled again.
"I'll be right over Mace. Hold on." He hung up the phone.
If Macy's heart hadn't been beating out of her chest before, it was now.
Less than five minutes later there was a soft knock on the door.
"Just come on in Kevin." Macy was still perched, legs up, on the sofa and a terrified expression on her face.
She was not moving until that spider was gone.
"You know, you really should lock the door when you're here on your own Mace." Kevin said, entering the room.
"But I'm not alone, am I?" She never took her eyes from the coffee table.
Kevin didn't know whether she was referring to him or the spider.
"Touché." He nodded. "So where's the-" His eyes caught sight of the spider who ran from under the table to behind the DVD stack.
"AGH!" Both teenagers yelped in unison and Kevin dove onto the sofa.
"Macy! I thought you said it was small!" Kevin exclaimed taking in the colossal size of the spider. "Haha…I, um…I lied…" She half giggled, due to the fact that Kevin was just as afraid as she was.
"To be honest…" Kevin whispered, leaning in and making sure the spider couldn't hear him. He didn't want to offend it. "I'm not really a big fan of spiders myself. They freak me the hell out."
Her eyes darted from the stack of DVDs to Kevin.
"Me too." She nodded in agreement, before looking back at the DVD stack.
"If we wait half an hour Nick will be finished with his date with Leah or Mia or …Sam… and he can come get the spider. He's not afraid of anything….Except Stella when Joe gets on her nerves…"
Macy nodded again. "Like us all."
"So are spiders your only fear?" Kevin asked.
"You mean apart from Stella?" Macy smiled. Kevin smiled back. "Nothing really…I guess…What about you?" She asked.
"Apart from Stella?"
"Apart from Stella."
"Hum…" Kevin's face furrowed in thought. "You know what's really scary?" He arched an eyebrow, a playful grin spreading across his features. "Really obsessed JONAS fans. That freak out whenever you're around them and hit you with stuff."
Macy narrowed her eyes.
"Funny." She remarked, sarcastically.
Macy bit her lip.
"Am I really that scary?" She purposely widened her eyes and gave Kevin her puppy dog look. (She only ever used it in dire circumstances --like needing a new iPod-- and had never used it on Kevin before.)
Kevin's heart unwillingly melted.
"No, of course not Mace. And you haven't hit any of us with anything in like two months…I was just kidding. I'm sorry…" He trailed.
Macy went to tell him that she was only messing with him but the giant spider ran from behind the DVDs towards the sofa.
"AGH!" Both Kevin and Macy screamed again, grabbing onto each other.
The spider stopped for a second (almost as though it was amused by their fright) and then hid under the coffee table again.
"I think we should call it Nick." Kevin whispered.
"Why?" Macy asked. Both sets of eyes were fixated on the floor and they both failed to notice that Kevin's arms were around Macy's shoulders and Macy's arms were around Kevin's lower torso, firmly clasped under his ribcage.
"Didn't you see it? It's fast and you never hear it coming and then it stares at you when you get a fright and, although it doesn't make any expression, you know it's mentally laughing at you. And then it just continues on like nothing happened and leaves you feeling like an idiot."
Macy started giggling uncontrollably. Through her giggles she managed to choke out; "Or maybe. We should. Call it. Stella. Cause. She'd be. The only one. Who'd stop. To look. At two giants. And stare. At our. Outfits. With a. Disapproving. Look."
Kevin starting chuckling too. "We should call it Nella."
Macy erupted into laughter. "Imagine how mad Joe would be if there was a Nella!"
Kevin followed suit.
"He'd go the same colour as your sofa!"
Macy and Kevin were shaking with the laughter.
"I can't believe two eighteen year olds are afraid of a little spider!" Kevin tried to shake his head.
"Hey, that is not a little spider! I've seen volley balls smaller than that! Besides, I'm not eighteen until next week so technically I'm still a kid!" The tears were rolling down her cheeks at this stage.
"I know that but let's not forget that you were in your mom's tummy for nine months so technically you are eighteen! And the fifteenth is in four days, not a week!"
Macy stopped laughing, but kept the smile on her face.
"You know my birthday?" She asked, looking up at him.
"Duh, you told us when we were planning Stella's birthday." Kevin made a face.
"Stella's birthday was like five months ago…how did you remember?"
"Uh, I have a good memory?" He tried, his voice squeaking.
The sat in silence for a second before they realised they were still clinging to each other and jumped apart.
Both were quiet until Macy started giggling again. After a few seconds Kevin joined her and it was long before they had erupted into a fit of laughter again.
"I. Don't. Even. Know. What's. Funny!" Kevin choked.
The two laughed about nothing until Nella decided to run out from its hiding place again causing them both to stop laughing abruptly.
"M-maybe now'd be a good time to ring Nick…" Kevin said, wide-eyed, still unable to comprehend how a spider could be that freaking big.
"Good idea." Macy nodded.
Kevin grabbed his phone and hit Nick's speed dial.
"Hey Nick, listen we're at Macy's…Macy and I, duh. And there's this spider and -- that'd be awesome. Be warned, it's as big as Joe's head…no seriously…honestly…tell him his head is big…tell her to stop defending him, it's her fault it's as big as it is…yeah number one four eight. Thanks Nick, see ya in a mo."
It didn't take long for Nick to arrive. He entered the house like a man on a mission.
"Alright you two. Where's the-" Nella ran past Nick's feet.
"JESUS CHRIST!" Nick yelped, jumping onto the sofa, smushing Macy in between himself and Kevin.
"You know," Macy started. "I never imagined that being the middle part of a JONAS sandwich would be so damn ANNOYING. Nick, get Nella. Now!"
Nick's eyebrows raised.
"Ye named the spider?" He questioned.
"Sure did." Kevin nodded.
Nick glanced at Nella once more, who had made its way to the edge of the room.
"Go on." Macy poked Nick. "Just don't kill it."
Nick looked from Macy to Nella and back again.
"Forget it." He said, shaking his head.
Nella crept towards the door.
"Maybe it's leaving." Kevin whispered to Macy.
But for the next fifteen minutes Nella didn't budge. It just stayed there. Almost staring at the three on the sofa, like this was all a big joke to it.
"I'm starting to think it's more of a Joe." Kevin told Macy.
Nick turned his head.
"Yeah, why is that?" He said, unamused.
Macy secretly wished Nick would just leave already.
She liked it better when it was just two thirds of the sandwich.
"Because look at it. It's doing this on purpose. Annoying us for no reason just because it thinks it's funny."
Macy cocked her head.
"Kinda looks like him too…" She mused.
Herself and Kevin burst out into hysterics again.
Nick didn't really get the joke so there was no point in even attempting a laugh.
"We should give it an invite to your party and tell it to bring its best female spider friend and maybe they can teach Joe and Stella a thing or two!" Kevin and Macy laughed harder until their sides hurt and the tears rolled down their cheeks.
It was going to be a long night.
Right Nella Joe?
Shirley and I didn't name the spider. She rang her brother two come upstairs and we hid behind pillows until the room was spiderless.
See, that's a lot less interesting than being the middle part of a JONAS sandwich. But then, inspiration can come from the oddest of situations.
I'm not to sure when Nella Joe deicded to leave Macy's house. Or if it decided to leave at all. That's up to your imagination.