Mistakes & Broken Hearts

By: Shailene Tisdale

Disclaimer:

I do not own Leverage. All characters in this story (Minus Shailene Roberts) belong to TNT.

Rating:

T (for homosexual romance and domestic violence)

Genre:

Romance/Hurt/Comfort/Angst

Pairing:

Neliot (Nate/Eliot)

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And, So, It Begins

It was late. Eliot Ford looked up to the clock on the mantle. It read midnight. He knew he could ask where his husband of the last fourteen years was or what was holding him up but, in the end, he knew all the answers to any questions he could ever possibly dream up. He's probably just out getting his rocks off with his precious Sophie! Eliot couldn't help thinking to himself bitterly. He knew Sophie was just itching to get her hands on Nate. While Nate never gave in to her flirtatious advances, Eliot had noticed that his husband never really tried to put an end to it. At first, he had understood Nate not wanting to tell the others of their relationship. After all, they had never planned to see each other again after their first job, together. But, that had been over a year ago. It was becoming increasingly apparent that they were all going to be working very close together for a very long time to come. Eliot hated lying to everyone and hiding his true feelings for Nate. And, Nate's behavior towards him didn't exactly help. He made it very clear to everyone that Eliot wasn't even good enough in Nate's mind to be included in the friends category. He was always talking down to him. Putting him down and making him feel worthless.

It hadn't always been like this. Nate used to be Eliot's dream guy. Very loving and doting. ... Romantic even. He told Eliot that he loved him several times a day. Always giving him romantic gifts and making him special each and every single day. But, after their son, Sam, died...Things changed. Nate threw himself in his work and his precious bottle. After that, Nate was never around much and when he was around, Eliot felt invisible. And, that was on a good day. Anymore, Eliot felt as though the only thing he was good for anymore was sex. Thinking back, Eliot realized that while he had Nate a regular sex life...They hadn't made love to one another since the night Sam had been conceived. He missed it. Eliot missed the passion and the tenderness in Nate's touch when they made love. When they had sex, Nate was just an animal! He ravaged Eliot and left nothing but broken carnage. It was demeaning for Eliot. He felt no more special than a broadway hooker.

Thinking back to when he and Nate made love made Eliot remember Sam. Learning that he was pregnant with Sam had been one of the happiest days in Eliot's life. He remembered the sheer and utter joy on Nate's face when Eliot had given him the news. Watching Nate holding their son in his arms reminded Eliot of a Norman Rockwell painting. It was one of the most breath-taking sights Eliot could ever remember.

Which is why he thought the news he had been given, this morning would help turn things around in his marriage. A little over a year after Sam's death, Eliot had been devestated when he learned that he would never father another child. So, his world was naturally brightened when he learned that very morning that he was pregnant once again. He had thought that this would be just what he and Nate needed to turn their marriage around and get back to where they were before Sam died. But, now, that seemed utterly ridiculous to Eliot.

Now, Eliot had begun to believe that his marriage could be irreparable. He didn't know that he and Nate could ever get back to the good times. Not if Nate continued on his current path. It was midnight for Christ's sake. No potential client could ever possibly keep him out this late! Eliot sighed as he looked up to the stars, trying to find some form of comfort in their radiant beauty. He failed as he had expected. Eliot looked down to see Nate's car pull up in the driveway. 'Bout time. He thought to himself.

Eliot continued to stare out the window as Nate waltzed through the door. "Hey, baby..." Nate drawled. He was so full of himself. That was all Nathan Ford seemed to truly care about anymore. And, damn it, Eliot was really getting sick and tired of it! How long could any one man be expected to put up with this?!

"Don't 'Hey, baby' me! Do you have any idea what time it is?! It's midnight, Nate! Do you know how worried I was?! Thinking of all the horrible scenarios of what might have happened to you?! God, Nate! You scared the living hell outta me!" Eliot rounded on Nate. However, his anger soon melted away when he looked into Nate's entrancing eyes. Damn him! Eliot thought to himself. He knew he would never be able to stay mad at Nate for long.

"Eliot, sweetheart. You know I was with a new potential client, tonight." Nate explained to him in an almost patronizing manner. "I told you I had no idea how late it would run. You shouldn't have waited up for me." It was astounding how oblivious Nate had become to anyone's feelings other than his own.

"You only said that to cover up staying out with your precious little Sophie! I understood you not wanting to tell the others about us at first! If we had gone our seperate ways after that first job, it wouldn't have bothered me like this! But, damn it, Nate! That was over a year ago. I think that it's pretty obvious that our little group's going to stay together for a long time to come! I'm getting pretty damn sick and tired of having to hide us from everyone! And, you! I understand Sophie flirting with you! Afterall, why wouldn't she. Far as she knows, you're single and available! But, you don't seem too keen on putting an end to her shameless flirting!" Eliot was becoming angrier and angrier the more he went on. "I love you, Nate! But, you're not exactly making it easy! Staying out to all hours of the night! Letting Sophie hang all over you! I can't take it anymore, Nate! I can't! ... I won't!" Eliot was yelling now. "I love you, yes! But, I am not a doormat! I am your husband! I'm your husband. And, you cannot do this to me, anymore! You can't-"

Eliot silenced with a slap across his face. He was shocked. Sure, Nate hadn't been the same knight in shining armor that he used to be. But, even after Sam died, Nate had never raised a hand to Eliot. Eliot was down right scared. He didn't know what to make of this new Nathan Ford. He didn't even know his own husband, anymore. That scared him. That scared Eliot more than he ever would have thought possible.

Nate just sneered at the shocked expression on his husband's face. "What? I can't hit you?" He asked, patronizingly. He knew Eliot would never do anything to him. He had that bitch wrapped around his little finger. That's exactly what Eliot was. His bitch. He would always be there for Nate to push around. Although, deep down, Nate wasn't exactly sure why he was pushing Eliot around. He knew there was still a part of him that was still in love with the hitter. But, he knew there was a dominating part of him that wanted control. Control over everyone and everything in his life. That was the man that was lashing out, right now.

Eliot's face took on a more confrontational expression. "No, you can't!" He was about to continue when he was shocked for the second time in one night when a firm fist collided with his face. The force from the punch was great enough to throw him off his feet, sliding a few feet across the floor. He hadn't even noticed Nate draw back, let alone...hit him. Nate was truly scaring him, now.

Nate was also scaring himself, now. Where was all this violence and aggression coming from?! He didn't understand it. He loved Eliot. He knew that! So, what the hell was possessing him to hurt Eliot this way?! It wasn't him! Who was this monster taking over his body?! Who or whatever it was, was truly scaring Nate. More so, even, than when their son died. What the hell is going on, here?! Nathan's shocked mentality turned to a deep depression. What the hell am I doing?!

Nathan was silent as Eliot picked himself up off the floor. They both remained silent as they stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity before Eliot came to his senses and walked out the door. Nathan watched him go as his mind continued to actively try and comprehend what had just happened. Had there been other problems in their relationship that he had just been too blind to see? Then, it hit him. It hit him like a ton of bricks as he just slid down the wall to sit in a broken lump on the floor, staring at the door that Eliot had walked through only moments ago. What the hell have I done?