MATCH MADE IN HELL

SUMMARY: Bella Swan is more of a college party girl than anyone else, but pretends to be the perfect daughter when she's back at Forks. Edward Cullen is the heartbreaker and the dazzler, but pretends to be the perfect son when he's back at Forks. This summer, the two of them will be set-up by their mothers. But will it be a match made in heaven, or hell? AH, AU, canon pairings.

A/N: Yay! My first story! Let me know what you all think!

DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything mentioned except the plot. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to a little private corner, and have a little private sob over the fact that I don't own Edward.

MATCH MADE IN HELL

CHAPTER ONE:STUPID MUMS WITH THEIR STUPID MATCH-MAKING

Bella's POV

I was singing along to Black Eyed Peas' Bom Boom Pow, winding down the familiar road of Forks. It was an unusually sunny day in this rainy little town, and I had the hood of my convertible wound up, bent on soaking up as much sunlight as I could, since the next two weeks were bound to be less than average. But that was normal for Forks, and growing up here had turned me into a rain-lover, just like Charlie.

I pulled up to the driveway of our new house, the one I'd only seen in pictures Renee e-mailed me. Apparently, my parents had decided that they had to do something with their fortune, other than sending me to Dartmouth. They were already waiting for me when I parked in the garage.

"Honey!" Renee squealed, running at me to envelope me in a hug. Charlie kept his distance, (smart guy, considering that he would like to be able to use his ears at 80, at least.)

"Mum!" I exclaimed, but hardly squealed. It was hard enough to pretend to be a perfect, well-behaved girl who doesn't sneak off to party whenever she has a spare minute, but squealing and pink bed sheets and Barbie songs? No friggin way in Hell was that happening!

"Dad," I said, acknowledging his presence with a nod in his general direction. I wasn't being rude, but my mum just wouldn't let go of me! "Mum," I said, dramatically gasping for breath. "Can't-breath," I stuttered.

"Oops," Renee said sheepishly, letting go of me. "I can't help myself, I just missed you so much!" She reasoned. I nodded, and we headed inside.

(LATER THAT DAY, DINNERTIME)

After spending the rest of the day settling in to my new room, and being taken on a full tour of the Swan Residence, (Renee had a history of naming every single building we'd ever lived in, and had pleaded with me to name this particularly house after me, but this was the one thing I wouldn't budge on.), we were finally settled in for dinner. But I wasn't enjoying my self-made lasagna as well as usual. Because something that Renee had told me while we were preparing dinner was disturbing me. A lot.

(flashback)

"Sweetie?"

Renee's tone made me stop short in the process of mixing the flour for cake. It was her "I-had-a-brilliant-idea-and-acted-on-it-and-you-better-follow-it-or-I'll-force-you" And personally, squealing and pink bed sheets aside, my mum wasn't someone you would want to mess with.

"Yes, Mum?" I said through my teeth.

"I was talking to Esme the other day- oh, you remember Esme, don't you?"

I nodded. Who could ever forget Esme, or any of the other Cullens, as a matter of fact? They were inhumanly, unbelievably, gorgeous.

"Well," Renee continued, hesitant, and I steeled myself for the worst. "We-were-talking-about-you-kids-and-it-just-occurred-to-us-that-you-and-Edward-might-be-great-together-and-we-set-you-two-up." She blurted in one breath.

"You did not." I said, disbelieving.

The look she gave me? "Hush-now-and-go-along-with-it-or-I'll-take-away-your-allowance"

Edward Cullen.

Gorgeous, smart…geek. Not really in the nerd with checkered shirts and rimmed glasses sense, but the person that he was…he was, well, the perfect son, who only dated proper girls, and barely kissed them on the third date kind of guy.

This is the end of me.

(flashback)

This is the end of me.

Edward's POV

"Bro, you're home!" Emmett boomed as I drove up to the mansion. Yep, mansion. My family's loaded, don't ask, I won't answer.

"What? You thought I'd just run off to Vegas for the summer and risk the wrath of Alice?" I half-joked. Anyone who knew Alice well enough to know that she was a shopaholic, also knew that she absolutely hated having her plans disturbed. So everyone who wishes to keep their head, play along nicely, alright?

I walked into the house, dodging Emmett, who was holding onto the garden hose, trying to 'welcome' me back home.

"Hi, Mum, Dad," I said, passing by the kitchen on my way up. My dad just walked out and smiled at me on his way to his office, while my mum called me in. "Edward, can you come in here for awhile?" She said sweetly. Uh-oh, something must be up.

"Hello, dear." She cooed in a motherly voice. I grunted in response. "Come on, it's not that bad." She said.

"Will you be kind enough to explain exactly what 'that' is?" I said, prepared for the worst.

She took a deep breath. "Do you remember Bella?"

Isabella Swan. Who could ever forget her? Beautiful, smart, funny…kinda geek-ish. And not in a bad way, but in the 'I'm-the-perfect-daughter" way.

I nodded. "What's up with her?" I asked warily.

"Please don't kill me," She pleaded and continued before I could make up my mind. "I set you up with her."

I was about to flat-out refuse, but the deathly tone of the pixie stopped me. "And no, you will not say 'no'." Alice said simply, giving me a glare that chilled me to the bone. I gulped, and nodded, before fleeing out of the kitchen, to my room.

This is the end of me.

So, how do you guys like it??? Let me know! Love you all!

Toddles!

Renesmee Woodsen, not Cullen.