Disclaimer: Not mine.

REQUESTED BY MASTER PROFESSOR.

(we're doing requests each other have to kill the time orz)


"Welcome to the Slash Bash!" Dumbledore announced gleefully, in his magnificent magenta robes. "I'm so happy so many of you could make it!"

"The authoress made us," Draco grumbled, elbowing Harry, effectively getting the scarred boy's hand out of his pants. "We wouldn't be here if we had a choice, Professor."

"Look, Professor!" Axel exclaimed excitedly. "Zexion and Demyx are already fucking each other senseless!" He pointed at Zexion and Demyx, who were on the floor, and were indeed fucking each other senseless. "Do I get an award for noticing that?"

"Sure!" beamed the old man. "You can have your pick of men!"

"Alright!" Axel pumped his fist into the air and cheered.

Roxas glared at him. "No sex for a week."

Axel pouted. "But Roxas! You know my life's centered around sex!" Realizing his mistake upon seeing Roxas' expression, however, he quickly amended, "I mean you! My life's centered around you!"

"... No sex for two weeks."

Naruto stared at them, covering Sasuke's eyes. "What the hell?"

Orochimaru occupied himself by sucking on Sasuke's neck (poor Uchiha will probably have hickies). Sasori and Deidara were shielding each other's eyes, snickering. Zexion and Demyx were having round two. Jiraiya was having nose-bleeds at the many handsome young men (being called a pedophile by more than one person seems to have no effect at all).

By the end of the Slash Bash, everyone (except Dumbledore, who'd been offered blow-jobs by five different people and who had to masturbate like eight times, and Draco, who was just a prude, and Sasuke, who didn't want to be seen having an orgasm in public, as he's a screamer) had fucked at least two people and had fucked someone maybe six times. It was a very enjoyable affair, all in all.

Little did they know, a young girl with almost-black hair and freckles had been taping the whole thing, planning to make copies and sell them on eBay for 10,000 dollars apiece. For an erotica like this, she decided, I must get a lot of money and become a rich brat.

And so, that was the end of the now-annual Slash Bash.

Fin.