Hypothermic Meltdown

Disclaimer: I do not own the awesomesauce that is Kingdom Hearts. Nor anything else that might pose as a threat to copyright infringement. I own nothing but the idea. That's alllll me, baby.

Stuffs to watch for: Pop culture reference overload, an overuse of parenthetical phrases; Slight Demyx bashing (I fracking love that mullet blond boy, though); and terrible attempts at pun and humor. You've been warned.

Dedication: For Rena-Chan921, just because I can. And because she totally made the most awesome (although I'm not sure it was intentional) Finding Nemo quote in a review that she left me. 'You so totally rock!' I fucking love Crush the sea-turtle. And Squirt. And that movie.

Author's Notes: Although part of it is set in a restaurant scene, it's completely unrelated to my other story Serendipitous. Oh, and before anyone says anything about it: Yes, I do in fact realize that the two words creating the title of this story are contradictory. That was the point. This is written in an interesting way...like first person in third person? You've seen it before, I'm sure. I hope it's not too confusing. (: (Not betaed, my beta is in hibernation at the moment.)

We got in bed together and I'm not ashamed
So good, I kiss and tell / So good, I kiss and tell

It was a bright and glorious Friday morning. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, the All American Reject's new single Gives You Hell was playing on the radio, the next door neighbor's yappy dog took a turn for the worst and died late last night… Yes, all was as it should be. Life was as it should be.

Then an ad for the local 'Relay 4 Life' came over the speakers and - as if inspired by the previous song - Gave Roxas Hell. It was at that very moment that the beginning of what would have been a perfect day had been murdered for Roxas Myde.

In that really brutal, really painful kind of way.

You see, Roxas was a rather recluse person. He liked school. He liked to study. He kept to himself, made few acquaintances - even fewer friends - and generally lived the bubbled life of an emo-hobbit; only, he was hotter than any hobbit J. R. R. Tolkien's wit could ever conjure up and his wrists weren't carved to the bone by 'Gillette For Men' razor blades.

(And seriously, just because he liked the band Forever The Sickest Kids and enjoyed sitting in the very back corner of the classroom did not provide reason enough to label him - for the last three of his pathetic high school years - as the 'emo-kid'…Well, that was his theory anyway.)

Needless to say, Roxas very much enjoyed keeping to himself, staying at home, and avoiding the social panorama that was the outside world.

And then, five days ago, fate decided to throw a curveball into his mundane little life - bitch slapping his pretty homebody face in the form of his mother. His mother and her bright idea of signing him up to walk in the Relay 4 Life cancer charity event. Which completely and directly threw him into the pits of hell.

Pits of hell also being known as the whole socializing scene…thing.

It had gone a little something like this:

"Roxas, sweetie." His mother chirped in that sickeningly nice kind of voice mother's have a tendency of using. And when she chirped, Lord knew the woman meant business. You know how when your mom wants you to go clean your room or eat all your veggies, and she says it in that overly-nice voice that makes you want to choke on stuffed Chocobo plushies and cower in fear all at once because Heaven fucking knows she'll purposely delete all the rock songs on your iPod - which took you a grand total of sixteen hours long, excruciating hours of your life to find, download, then sort alphabetically by artist - and replace them with nothing but Disney songs and Hanna Montana, forever damning your existence and reputation as a normal teenage boy…

Oh yeah. Roxas' mom so totally went there once.

"What's up, mom?"

She grinned holding up an ad, and in that ad…Roxas swore he saw the apocalyptic end of his short life.

Or, rather, he saw his life compromised in a way he really didn't want it to be, to spare the melodramatics and daytime Soap Opera crap. Seriously, Lifetime Movie Network had enough of that shit to last anyone a lifetime - if you'll excuse the terrible pun.

"I've signed you up to be a team leader for the Relay 4 Life this year. You have five days to gather a team. You'll need as many people as you can because your team has to have at least one person on the track and walking during the span of twenty-four hours. Oh, and you need to come up with some form of donation too."

Now, Roxas had a choice here. He could do one of two things, really: One, he could accept Newton's Fifth Law - the law that is unspoken of by the world scientists, but universally known throughout all mankind: Mom is greater than You. And just give up because Newton is always right.

Or, two - being the quick witted, rebellious teen that he was - he could snake his way out of charity work - charity work that was going to be in the fucking outdoors, no less! - with a well thought out and manipulative little lie.

Naturally, he opted for the latter - as any teen would - and prayed his mother was as dense as the second son she'd given birth to. After all, it had to be by some sort of genetic fault of her own that Demyx was the same age as Roxas (okay, a few months younger, but they still shared the same number) and yet two - count 'em people, two - whole grades behind him …right?


"Mom, I would gladly do this - you know how much the community means to me - especially cancer charities, as we lost dear old Grandpa Merlin to it only a few years ago - but you see, mother, I have this huge project at school coming up and---"

"And you're a straight A student. You'll figure something out."

Newton's Sixth Law: Mom is also greater than Shitastic lies. But can she outsmart truth? Oh-ho!

"But mom I don't even know anyone that would be willing to---"

"Ask around at work."

Well, there was always bullshitting.

"If I said I was allergic to fundraising…"

"I'd say there's no way you're getting out of this one, mister."


"…I'll mow the lawn?"

"Nice try."

It goes without saying that the short blond was not a happy camper from that day forward. He also didn't look to kindly on science after that particular conversation, either.

Roxas loved a lot of things about working in a restaurant. One, free food. Well, technically free - just don't let ol' man Cid catch you stealing the Pecan pie. And don't fucking touch his tea. Seriously.

Two, in the workplace it was easy to socialize. And by socialize, Roxas meant feigning 'friendships' with coworkers - because, really, faking friendship with the cooks scored you free food, which places you back at happy-moment numero uno.

And three (there were many more reasons, but listing them all would be like listing the your favorite songs by order of release date - long and painful) he loved the fact that there were people. This was definitely somethingnew to his list of loves, because, to be brutally honest, Roxas just didn't like people…at all. They were loud, rude, backstabbing, moronic, impudent, brash, careless - and a billion other things that Roxas was not. So no, Roxas did not like people…not unless he needed them.

Then he loved them.

So as to prevent walking a solid twenty-four hours by himself…


"Roxas, my man!" Hayner called from across the kitchen when the short blond rounded the corner.

Contrary to popular belief, Roxas actually didn't mind Hayner's existence. The taller blond was a pleasant mix of contradictions. He was nice, yet brash. Loyal, yet an occasional backstabbing, gossiping fool. Straight, yet had a thing for the dude that'd beat him up every day during his freshman year of high school. Yes, Hayner was a bundle of protons and electrons, all contradicting each other and molding him into the one Neutron of a person Roxas actually tolerated.

Well, for a few hours at a time at least.

Nevertheless, this tolerance made his job of loading on the 'friend' thing that much easier. "Hey! What are you doing this Friday?"

Hayner almost chopped his thumb off. "Dude are…are you asking me to hang out? You never want to hang out."

"Well, things change. I mean people. People change." No one ever said Roxas was smooth when put on the spot.

"Uh-huh." Hayner may have been your typical bullheaded-macho-tough-guy, but he was certainly not dense. Well, at least not as dense as Roxas' brother Demyx.

Then again…that wasn't much of a feat.

"I…Okay. I really do want to hang out with you and this would be the perfect opportunity to do so…"

"Just spill, Rox."

"My mom is making me walk the Relay for life and I have no help whatso ever, dear God, please, I'll make you milkshakes for a year, hang out, whatever, just please, don't leave me hanging on this one!" This was all said - more like chewed up then puked out - in a single breath; and in just under ten seconds. Hayner blinked a few times, going over said vomited sentence a in his head until he understood it enough to begin laughing.

"Make them chocolate malts and it's a deal."


Roxas glanced to the floor, then back up at Hayner.

"What is it now?"

"Well, I kinda need more people than just you. See, we have to make a team and of that team, one person has to be walking during the twenty-four hours this thing lasts."

"Jesus! I don't want to be stuck walking for twelve hours!"

"And I don't want to be stuck walking for twenty-four so help me find some people!"

By the end of their shift, Hayner and Roxas could only convince two other people into walking for a cure. These two people consisted of Pence - the fun loving, geeky dish boy - annnd Reno's younger brother -

- Axel.

Now, Roxas knew Axel, but he didn't really know Axel…ya know?

He knew Axel's name - Axel was one of the leading soccer players on their high school's soccer team, and, if there was a captain on soccer teams, Roxas was pretty sure that Axel was that - a kick ass soccer captain that lead their school's team to state and regional's each year.

He knew his age - the dude was nineteen and still in high school because he refused to pay attention and get shit done. (Then again, maybe he was just enjoying the chronic party that was high school life, no one really knew the whole story behind it.)

And he knew Axel's brother - and fairly well, because they worked weekend closing shifts together all the time and occasionally went across town to grab coffee on the nights Roxas felt like playing Dr. Phil to the bi-polar cook in order to gain some form of experience in the Psychology field. (Yes, Roxas wanted to be a Psychologist. 'Heal the World' and all that Michal Jackson bullshit - well, save the molesting little boys part, that is. Truth be told, older men were more his style.)

But, all in all, that was the extent of his knowledge where his redheaded classmate was concerned.

More or less, they were just that - classmates. Classmates who occasionally shared notes with each other or quizzed one another for tests (and the only reason behind that was because of the simple fact that they shared a desk together which, by default and the rules of Professor Vexen, made them Chemistry partners for the remainder of the term - unless they blew something up again. Vexen was getting rather agitated at having to constantly replace Bunsen burners and beakers because the redheaded pyro and his moody blond table-mate couldn't figure out how to properly perform a simple chemical reaction.)

With all that having been said - naturally, it had been quite awkward calling Axel's number (from the neon green sticky note Reno had given him before they'd closed up shop the night before) and asking him - begging him rather - to walk on his team.

Much to Roxas' surprise, the redhead was pleasantly upbeat about the idea and even offered to bring his tent since the committee for this year's Relay 4 Life were requiring a 'camp' theme which included tents…annnd Demyx was taking the Myde family tent for his team's use.

After making some solid plans for when and where to meet, and what to bring, they ended their conversation with a 'See you Friday.'

You know how some people say that pets resemble their owners in some way or another? Well Roxas didn't believe that bullshit in the least. He did, however, find it plausible that cars resembled their owners when Axel pulled up in a sporty fire-red Firebird Friday afternoon in the place they agreed to meet just outside the campground. He parked with a screech of the tires and rolled up the too-tinted windows of his too-red car with it's too-loud stereo system.

Roxas couldn't help but drool a little bit at the car. Secretly, he'd always been a sucker for fast cars. Fast, beautiful cars that made you feel powerful and freakin' King of the world when you burst through a red-light with no intention of slowing down as red and blue lights chase you down Highway 69.

…Okay. So maybe Roxas didn't want to be some Clyde without a Bonnie, but he seriously liked Axel's car.

It was a fucking hot car.

And speaking of hotwhoa damn Axel.

Now, normally, Roxas Myde was a rather observant fellow. He memorized things with an ease unnatural to most people, took note of the smallest of details, and studied the world around him with a keen eye.

Except…'the world' didn't normally consist of the people in it.

So, when the redhead opened the door of his car and stepped out and into the sunshine with a stretch, it was completely necessary to full on gawk at said redheaded Firebird driver - in the most open of fashions, of course.

Roxas had never noticed before how red the teen's hair was - blazing red, the kind of red that would send a bull's blood boiling in a frenzy of heated anger. The kind of red that suited Axel - and his sexy car - to a fucking T. He was tall and lanky - this was not to say, however, that the boy was without muscle because good Lord, hello soccer calves.

Roxas assumed that the abs probably weren't a let-down either.

His style was sporty and athletic, yet sleek in that Hollister model kind of way. He wore a blazing red jacket over a cotton-white wife beater that hung just over the black studded belt holding up not too loose - yet not tight enough - ripped jeans that faded from a deep indigo to a soft baby-blue-white towards the center. All in all, the soccer captain was a Class-A stud.

…And Roxas was blatantly showing him that.

"Er…yo. I brought the tent…?" Which was also like saying: 'Sorry-to-interrupt-your-droolfest-but-Christ-could-you-do-it-a-little-less-obviously?'

"Great!" Roxas said a bit too enthusiastically. Behind him, Hayner snickered and Pence coughed.

Somehow, someway, Roxas was spared by the Gods because the two of his lackeys politely kept their mouth's shut and welcomed Axel in the friendliest way cooks knew how. They all chatted about random nonsense as Axel set up the tent, making quick work of the poles and rods. In under a minute Axel had that two person tent set up better than forest ranger and began dragging the picnic table twenty feet away towards the tent. Hayner jumped in to help the redhead and that table fucking flew the rest of the way.

Roxas was eighty percent certain that some campground officials were not going to be pleased when they found out they would be replacing one of the legs sometime this summer.

Once their camp was set up, the four boys strolled off towards the table that was set up in the main park to go sign in, get their T-shirts and hop in line for the honorary 'everyone-run-one-lap-then-disperse'…thing.

"Name." Roxas cringed at the rather obese woman seated - squeezed was more like it -behind the plastic rectangular table.

"Roxas Myde."

She raised a brow at his crew then sifted through the packages of shirts, grabbing one at the very bottom of the box below her feet. It astounded Roxas that her little tyrannosaurus rex arms could reach that far away from her body.

"Here you are."

Roxas stared in horror at the name printed in very bold, very black lettering on the back of his very white shirt. "OrangeMoochingGophers?!"

"It's the name you picked didn't you?"

"I…hell no! Who called in this order?"

"How am I supposed to know? Do I look like central office, kid? Maybe your mother---"

And then it struck. Bingo. His mother would go there again. He'd have to remember to set fire to her favorite red stilettos sometime this week, until then, verbal threats would have to suffice: "I'm gonna fucking kill her."

"Actually, Rox, I may have to help you on this one. People are going to point to you for the rest of eternity and shout 'OMG!'" Pence said, staring at the shirt in horror. Axel had the look of, 'great-what-the-fuck-did-I-just-get-myself-into?' and Hayner looked like he was trying to set the shirts on fire with that glare he was so heatedly serving them.

After whining until the obese woman stood up and yelled them off - which was rather scary, actually - the boys lined up wearing their horrendous shirts for the all-teams-jog-one-lap-together thingy - ran it silently - then disbursed.

Hayner walked off with Pence towards the tent calling over his shoulder, "Hey Rox, you totally get the first hour. After all, Oh Mighty OMG Captain you're the one who suckered us into this mess." Shaking his head, Roxas pleasantly flipped Hayner the bird then took off down the track in a jog in order to kill off his pent up frustrations -

- of which there were many.

One, his mother sucked. She sucked and he was going to burn her favorite shoes and put rat poison in her coffee.

Two, he detested social activities and anything to do with the outdoors (unless there was a thunderstorm; Roxas found that he enjoyed sitting under the covering of his porch and watching the lightning rip across the sky) yet here he was - jogging a track, sweating like a prostitute in church, and absorbing far too many rays of Vitamin D (which would inevitably end in a painful sunburn tomorrow - and, eventually, skin cancer when he was old.)

Three, freaky-scary-obese-woman was freaky and scary and he had to pass her every two minutes or so when he rounded corner one.


In the midst of Roxas' internal bitchfest, Axel came running up alongside the blond throwing him a grin when the shorter teen drew away from his emo-bitch-monologue long enough to notice him.

"Lovely weather we're having." Axel stated conversationally. Roxas couldn't help but smirk; it felt easy and natural to engage in conversation with Axel. As if they'd been buds since diapers.

"Thank you."

"Er…for…?" They split apart, passing a group of five before coming to jog alongside each other again.

"For coming. I know this is lame and I know the god-forsaken shirts my mother ordered for us are even worse…so…thanks." Roxas' cheeks were tinged a light pink, the sun and running five laps starting to already take effect.

"No problem. Reno talks pretty highly about you, and you're my chem partner so I figured what the hell." Axel grinned, picking up his pace. "Catch me if you can, Blondie."

"Blondie?" The two boys took off down the track, weaving in and out of people, around signs, and quite possibly through a few tents as they chased after each other like Roadrunner and Coyote around the campground.

Axel's long legs proved to be rather useful when it came to sprinting and Roxas' strong ones proved equally useful when the blond caught up enough to tackle the taller teen into the grassy area inside the track - both of them taking out a 'bag-of-hope' in the process. They were scolded and kindly reminded that this was a walking relay charity event, not a WWF wrestling meet.

Roxas laid on his back panting hard, gazing up at the cloudy blue sky. Beside him, Axel was still laughing about the wrestling comment, hands laced behind his head as he too took to staring at the vastness above them.

"That one," Axel pointed out, reaching over and across Roxas' chest, "Looks like a Chocobo."

"What are we, nine now?" Roxas laughed, shoving the redhead's arm out of his view.

"C'mon Roxie, lighten up." Axel bumped their shoulders together playfully and Roxas found that couldn't even force his usual trademark scowl.

"Where do you come up with these strange nicknames anyway?"

"You don't remember?"

"Remember what?" Roxas propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at Axel. The redhead had this almost kicked puppy look to him which made Roxas feel guilty.

"I used to call you that in seventh grade."

"I'm fairly certain we've never had a conversation outside of Chemistry before this one." The blond frowned as he wracked his brain.

"Well…you're wrong. We were sorta friends back in math class, you remember Mr.---"

"Yeah, I remember Mr. Luna Siax, but I don't remember us talking."

"We did. Occasionally. We even sat at the same lunch table. You know, with Zexion and---"

"Demyx, Xigbar, Larx…yeah." Roxas frowned again, "Are you sure you and I talked back then, because I can't for the life of me remember. And that makes me feel really bad."

"I'm very sure, and don't. It's all good." Axel sprang up, offering a hand to his teammate. "Whaddya say we go kick those lazy asses out of my tent and make them walk with us for a while."

Roxas grinned, "Catch me if you can."

The boys dashed off, laughing as they burst through Demyx's group, sending a few of his teammates leaping out of the way. At the tent, Hayner and Pence were lounging back playing a game of BS and munching on Doritos. Axel dove into the tent in a ninja roll, scattering cards in every which direction. Roxas shook his head with a laugh, coming to flop next to Hayner.

"As your captain, I order you to get your asses out there and walk with us."

"Oh really." Hayner gave the shorter blond a look, arching his brow.

"Yeah really."

"Aye Aye Capi-ton!" Pence laughed with a salute.

"To the plank with ye!" Axel cried shoving Hayner out of the tent.

The four boys must have walked twelve laps together before splitting into two groups. Pence and Hayner ran to catch up with Demyx and his group, chatting animatedly about this and that. Axel and Roxas raced around the track until exhaustion smacked them in the face, causing them to run over to the obese woman's station that was selling bottles of water.

Like the gentleman he was, Axel paid for not only his and Roxas' water, but two extra ones as well - running over to the tent and leaving them there, knowing that Hayner and Pence would be by sooner or later to take them.

"That was nice of you."

"They're good kids." Axel shrugged, twisting off the cap of his water. He chugged half of it down, lips smacking with a resounding 'Ah'. Roxas shook his head with a laugh, matching Axel's chug, wiping the side of his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Damn it is so hot out." Axel complained, fanning himself as he panted like a dog. "Let's go sit in my car and blast the air conditioning." Roxas grinned at this comment and Axel took to digging in his pockets.

"I more or less think it's because we were running for so long."

"We probably tacked on six miles…" Axel frowned, "I can't find my car keys."

"Shit, really?" Roxas was panting too, wiping at the sweat that trickled down the back of his neck.

"Oh well, I'm sure they'll turn up before tomorrow." Axel grinned wickedly, but it wasn't enough warning for the blond to run before Axel tipped the bottle of water over Roxas' head.


The redhead laughed, watching the water trail in neat crystalline patterns down the blond's sun kissed face and on to the white of his shirt where it clung to his chest. Another game of chase ensued until Roxas had successfully drenched the redhead's shirt - their laughter resonating throughout the campground as they weaved through the hundreds of people.

Like politics, there were many things about the weather that Roxas just did not understand. Like, how in the bloody hell could it be blistering hot sunshine and singing birds one second, then BAM! One crack of thunder and a few lightning bolts later you find yourself caught up in a freak-storm that starts down pouring ice cold rain like it's freakin' Noah's Ark outside?

Needless to say, Roxas didn't even try to understand. He simply bolted like a track champion for the tent across the campground.

By the time Roxas made it into the tent after salvaging what little electronic devices he could (hello, three hundred dollar iPod touch and HP laptop with all his files on it, definitely worth getting dumped buckets on to save those) the blond was all but drenched when he unzipped the small door. He was surprised when cold, wet hands wrapped around his wrists helping him inside and into the beauty that was dryness.

Inside, Axel looked no better than Roxas - hair and clothes dripping and completely soaked by freezing-ass-cold-rain. Which…looked kind of odd. Axel's hair was the color of fire, yet it was dripping and wet.

Like a puffy Persian cat that was thrown in a bath tub - Axel's hair looked nothing short of ridiculous. In that really, really bad oxymoron kind of way

"Jesus! You'd think there'd be some kind of warning before this kind of shit."

"Well we do live in a valley."

"A valley that was full of sunshine and rainbows only three minutes ago." Axel corrected, and Roxas couldn't help but agree with that statement. The wind picked up and both of them shivered, glancing around for some kind of material to wrap themselves in.

"What a day to wear summer clothes, huh?" Axel sighed and unzipped the tent.

"Well it was---Axel, where do you think you're---Its pouring out there!"

"I'll be right back."

And sure enough, the fiery red head was back within forty-five seconds flat carrying a duffle bag he'd stuffed under the picnic table upon arriving. Unzipping it, he pulled out a sleeping bag and a pillow, then tossed the dripping bag back out into the rain before closing the tent.

Axel shivered as he sat back in the center of the tent with Roxas.

"This is bullshit." Whether the comment was towards the fact that there was only one sleeping bag and pillow, or towards the ridiculous weather they were enduring and how cold it had suddenly gotten…Roxas himself couldn't even tell.

"I could not agree more."

"Do you think Pence and Hayner are---"


"They probably took shelter under that covered barbeque area by the officials and stuff."


"What the hell was that?" Roxas arched a brow.

Thud. Thud.

"Shh." Axel pressed his ear to the edge of the tent. Then three things happened almost simultaneously: One, Axel's head got totally rocked with something the size of a small baseball. Two, he careened back, landing right in Roxas' lap. And three, it became rather apparent at that moment just what was creating the thud noises outside as they grew more and more prominent.

"Hail. Are you fucking kidding me?!" Axel squawked, rubbing at his head. "Jesus fucking Christ." Axel made to get off of Roxas' lap (he'd pretty much landed right between the kid's open legs with his back against the smaller teen's chest) but a shaking hand stopped him.

Now, Roxas was a recluse creature. This much is true. However, when sopping wet and freezing cold…

"D-Don't m-move. You're b-body is w-warm." Roxas' teeth clacked against each other as a full body shiver wracked his small form. "S-stupid f-fucking c-cold r-rain…" He shivered again burying his face into the mess of red hair and the warmth of Axel's back as a large crack of thunder roared above the campground.

"C'mon let's get in the sleeping bag."

"We'll g-get it w-wet you m-moron."

"That's why we have to undress first, duh." Axel said this as if it were the easiest thing to accept.

Only, really. It wasn't.

"I…Y-You want m-me to w-what?!" Somehow the cold managed to make squeaks of protest even more squeaky. In that really pathetic pubescent-choir-boy kind of way.

"Didn't you pay attention to those health classes in middle school? Or did you forget those too?" There was a twang of bitterness to that comment that made Roxas wince.


"Look, it's either take off your shirt and shorts and climb in here with me or suffer h-hypothermia. Your choice. I'm getting into that d-damn sleeping bag." Axel shivered lightly as he slipped out of his shirt, tossing the freezing soaked wad of material into a sloped corner that was filling with water from the uncovered meshing of the tent.

Roxas bit at his lip in thought as Axel removed his belt and began shrugging out of his jeans. Idly, Roxas noted that Axel definitely pulled off being a briefs kind of man.

And damn those soccer-toned calves.

Thud. Thud.

"Stupid, you'll n-need my body heat to k-keep y-you warm, a s-sleeping bag in this cold wont h-help anything." And with that statement - or rather, before he could talk himself out of it again - the short blond began undressing with a scowl…and did so shivering like a leaf.

Axel - although feigning busy positioning himself comfortably in the sleeping bag - took this time to eye his junior tent-mate as the blond had so blatantly done earlier; however, when it came to checking people out, Axel was one classy bitch about it.

Though the blond was short, his body more than made up for what he was lacking in height. This was not to say the boy was heavy - good fracking Lord no! The kid was built. And no one would ever expect a kid as small as Roxas to have abs that solid.

Seriously, where did the kid hide those?

A mess of spiky blond hair that put the best of Paul Mitchell's stylists to shame and eyes fit to seduce the most prude of a person were probably the best of Roxas' features. His eyes were this piercing blue that made you want to get all cliché and poetic about how the ocean itself couldn't begin to compare to their vast beauty and blah blah blah.

Well say hello corny clichés, because when it came to that kid's eyes…clichés were totally called for. His body wasn't too bad either. Maybe a few flirtastic pick-up lines were called for on that one, you know, like 'Milk does the body good, but damn how much did you drink?' kind of sayings.

Yeah. So. Flirty pick-up lines weren't as sweet as oceans and poetry, but neither was the kid's body. Sweet that is, because damn Axel was sure that it was a hot, spicy piece of…

"What," Roxas frowned at the staring redhead as he shrugged out of his shorts, "are you looking at?" Damp black boxer-briefs clung to his thighs and riding low on his hips.

Okay…maybe not so classy bitch, but you can't blame a guy for trying.

When it comes to fitting two teenage boys into a single person sleeping bag - both of them varying greatly in height - it goes without saying that awkward is beyond an understatement. Especially when the first bits of heat began drying their bodies, making their skin sticky (that kind of sticky your skin gets like right after some damn good sex.)

After many bumps to their heads and knees and awkward rolling and shifting, Roxas found that - as awkward as it was - if he curled himself up against the redhead's chest, facing him, it provided more heat to their cores. Which would get the heat circulating in their little bitty icebox sooner.

Or at least that's what Roxas hoped it would do.

"So are you warmer yet?" Axel's voice was one of concern, which actually surprised Roxas a bit.

"G-Getting there." He let himself hug Axel's warm stomach closer, nuzzling his forehead into the inviting heat of the redhead's neck. He let out a sigh and he could swear he felt Axel shudder.

Then again, it could have been caused by the crack of thunder that ripped through the sky above.

"Enjoying yourself down there?" Axel chuckled, sliding his feet under the warmth of Roxas' calves. The blond shivered when the cold digits pressed into his legs.

"S-Shut up." Roxas attempted a scowl, but the heat against his cheek was too wonderful to disturb - instead he let out another contented sigh, his tense body falling into a relaxed state as Axel wrapped an arm around him.

Thud. Crack. Thud.

Three hours had passed yet rain and hail continued to bruise the earth, temperature having dropped another fifteen degrees.

What started out to be a seventy-nine degree afternoon was now a thirty-six degree midnight nightmare.

"What are you doing?!" Again with the squeaking - Roxas was beginning to think he'd somehow skipped puberty during his long-ago middle school years and it was now bitch-slapping him in the face. In the most awkward and inconvenient of times, no less.

"You have kick-ass hair."

Axel, hair god of all the school, was commenting on his hair? "S-Stop…" Roxas half grumbled, half moaned. The shiver that followed the breathy little demand was not one caused of cold and chill, but of heat and lust.

Confession time, kids.

Roxas had a teeny-tiny, incy-weency little hair fetish. And when people played with his hair it kinda sorta turned him on - and it didn't matter who it was when it came to his fetish, really; hell, his mom could be playing with his hair and it would have the same effect.

Yeah. Awkward, a billion shades of wrong, and the reason he throws a bitch-fit if she or any one of his family members even makes the slightest mention of his hair.

Now, there was Roxas' mom playing with his hair, and then there was Axel.

Axel, a warm, hard body that was currently pressed so nicely up against his; Axel, a fiery redhead with green eyes - green, his favorite fucking color - that swam with emotion and the burning intensity of fire (damn, that got a little poetic); Axel, who's breath was hot against his scalp and who's long pianist-like fingers were caressing and tugging at his hair

So, it was only natural that Roxas was completely and hopelessly turned on.

And right up against Axel's thigh.

"Oh." Was all the redhead could think to say. He didn't know whether to move or stay frozen. He opted for the latter and swallowed.

"Way to make things more awkward." The blond grumbled, too embarrassed to move.

"Ya know, I'm not the one with a raging boner here, so how am I to blame for the increase of awkwardness?"

Thud. Thud.

"I did tell you to stop, ya know!" Roxas flushed, burning in embarrassment.

"Well do you like, have a thing for guys or is it more of a---"

"I have a sort of kind of hair fetish, alright?" The blond mumbled into the curve of Axel's neck. He almost smirked when he felt Axel's body shiver. Idly, he wondered if Axel's hair was as soft as it looked. Even in those horrendous, porcupine spikes of his…that red hair had the ability to look silky, shiny and amazing.

"A hair fetish." Axel deadpanned. "Hair. Fetish."

"Just shut up." The blond's cheeks were now three shades darker than Axel's hair. Roxas fought the urge to tug on it, tangle his fingers in it… He shuddered again and Axel smirked.

"Hey Roxas…"

"What?" The blond seethed when Axel started playing with his hair again. His cock twitched involuntarily and he groaned. Why was Axel torturing him like this?

"Are you still cold?"

The Roxas frowned. No, asshole. I'm outside in my underwear in a single person sleeping bag in the middle of a rain and hail storm and it's thirty-six fucking degrees. Of course, I'm still fucking cold.

He was going to murder Axel in the worst possible way when they made it out of this tent. The storm raged on violently, a crack of thunder and the sound of a tree splitting off in the distance sent chills of fear down both of their spines. Roxas wrapped his arms a little tighter around the annoying redhead, pulling him closer. He would think of ways to murder Axel later.

"Sort of, why are you still talking I told you to shut the fuck---"

"What do you say you assist me in making this tent a few degrees hotter?"

"Axel, what in God's name are you going on abo---oooh f-fuck."

In one steaming hot second, Axel's hands were down his briefs and around him - squeezing. Roxas let his whole body shudder violently in the chill of Axel's hand, breathing already warped and heavy. His teeth sank into the redhead's neck in an attempt to not cry out and--Oh my dear holy God, take me now.

"What…the fuck…are you doing!?" Axel was now on top of him, waist straddled over Roxas' own. The boy above him just grinned, lowering his mouth to Roxas' ear where he simply breathed one single, ragged breath…

…which totally sent Roxas into a frenzy of shivers and writhing beauty.

It should be known now that Roxas not only had a thing for hair, but for neck biting and anything to do with the ears. So, without much effort, the redhead was already well on his way to completely turning Roxas the fuck on.

"For a straight A student I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet, I'm putting your libido to good use and creating warmth."

No, Axel. What you're doing is creating a fucking forest fire.

He smiled, dipping his head low and letting his tongue trace his short classmate's ear. "If you want me to stop, just tell me." Roxas actually went the extra mile to growl at this comment, reaching up and latching on to Axel's neck with a solid bite, followed by a long, deliberate suck. The redhead let out a low hiss, grabbing at Roxas' hair which was all the more coaxing the blond needed before giving up his stubborn attitude and giving in to the inviting warmth they were creating.

"Just shut the fuck up and create heat." It was probably not the most eloquent of phrases, but Roxas had definitely seen better days when it came to speaking. Getting jerked off by a classmate he hardly knew was definitely topping the carts of whathefuckery, causing him to be a little less sarcastic and a little less suave than he normally was.

He bit at Axel's neck again when the redhead let his hand slide up and down Roxas' length in one quick motion, and Roxas couldn't help the way he jerked his hips up towards Axel's.

"What if…Pence and Hayner…" Odd. Thinking was already becoming a chore.

"You really think that after three and a half hours they're gonna brave even more cold to come sit in a frozen tent?" Axel arched a brow, then - without thought - dipped low and captured the blond's shivering lips with his own.

The kiss was unlike any other Roxas had experienced. It was lusty and spicy, hot and desperate in a way he'd never figured a kiss could be. It sent shivers up his spine, his cock pulsing, and his hands searching to tangle in locks of fire-red. He'd kissed girls before - Naminé in his Freshman year and Kairi in his Sophomore year…He'd also kissed boys before - his cousin, Sora, one drunken night at the family's lake-side cottage a few Christmases ago, and Tidus - a fun loving boy who'd been in his drama class, but they'd never been anything like this.

The way Axel's mouth and body moved against him…Roxas shuddered - the mere thought of it sent his back arching and his heart pounding. Axel was like a wildfire - so hot and uncontrollable. His tongue slid along the bottom of Roxas' lips and the short blond parted them immediately - submissively - enjoying the taste of the other's mouth - sweet like marshmallows and smoky like campfire.

It took a few seconds to realize that Axel's hand was no longer pumping him, but his cock was grinding against his heatedly, and good fucking Lord, right there.

Roxas was fairly certain he had certifiably and legally died when Axel slid down his body - hot mouth leaving his kiss-bruised lips to trail the tingling skin of his aching body. Axel's lips pressed against his cool flesh in searing trails - wet and hot. The blond couldn't think and Axel continued his venture down that smooth torso - down, down, down…

"Ax--" Roxas moan was lost in the crack of thunder and the howl of the wind when Axel took hold of the smaller boy's cock and wrapped those hot lips around Roxas' heated length. The blond couldn't help the way his fingers twisted, tangled, yanked, and tugged at the liquid silk of Axel's red, red hair. He couldn't help the way his hips rose hard up and into Axel's throat, or how his back arched under the meticulous movements of those fingers ghosting along his skin, or the breathy moans of Axel's name that seemed on chronic repeat - lost to the wind and downpour outside.

"Mmm." Axel hummed around Roxas' swollen length - which sent the blond into another moaning fit.

"Axel…I'm…" Before the blond could finish his sentence Axel's lips were off that particularly sensitive part of his body and back on his lips - salty, smoky, and sweet. Roxas contemplated protesting the sudden action that kept him from falling into the dizzying abyss of orgasmic euphoria, but the way the redhead's tongue slid into his mouth and the way those hands tugged at his hair rendered him incoherent.

"You're rather vocal, you know that?" Axel's lips twisted into a smirk against Roxas'. They were panting - hearts beating fast, sweat beginning to spill in light trails down their bodies.

"You're rather forward, you know that?"

Axel laughed, leaning to purr in the smaller boy's ear. "Mm, I think you like it…"

"Axel…" Roxas shook his head, tugging the redhead down by the hair for a kiss. "Shut up."

"Do you think they…" Pence's sentence fell short and Hayner laughed.


The morning sky above was dark with rain clouds, precipitation sill falling from the sky in a soft drizzle compared to the previous night's downpour. The campground was half deserted by nine in the morning, families having packed up and left almost as soon as dawn broke.

"You really think?"

"Dude, yeah. I mean look at them." Hayner pointed at the pile of clothing beside the sleeping bag and at the way Roxas' head was snuggled into the warmth of Axel's neck and chest - their limbs tangled, like the way Roxas' fingers were in that fire-red hair.

Pence shook his head then grinned. "I have a camera phone ya know."

Hayner grinned, "Sometimes I think I love you, Pence."

"As long as we don't end up in a tent together." They burst into a fit of laughter as Pence fished for his phone.

"You do know Axel is scheduled for hire at the restaurant in two weeks, right?" Hayner grinned mischievously and Pence began clicking his camera phone like crazy.

"We'll never let them live this down."

"Dude, you think we're bad? Once Reno hear and Seifer hear about this…"

Click. Click. Flash.

So what?I kiss and tell.

Props to you: if you know the story that I jacked the Cid's tea comment from. And props if you know what OrangeMoochingGophers is from. Credit is given to the respectful plot-masters/owners of the above.

Regarding the Michael Jackson reference - I so totally made that reference BEFORE he passed away!

I'm completely honest when I say: All of the above really was based on actual events and experiences. Yeah. I so totally went there.…I swear it was for the cancer. Believe it, kids.

Reviews make me happy.

Thanks for Reading.