REQUESTED BY MASTER PROFESSOR.

He's fucking insane.

He wants me to make this as NON-RANDOM as possible.

I hope it suits your tastes, you douche.

title: pink elephants and burning tacos
rating: t
prompt: i don't feel like listing it all T_T
amount of words needed: 500.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.


Roxas sighed forlornly as he looked out the window at the marching band of pink elephants. It had been a terrible day; Riku had bought a turtle, and made him baby-sit. Baby-sit a turtle. A turtle. Riku was insane and made him come back because the turtle escaped (good riddance).

"FOUND IT!" Sora exclaimed triumphantly, crawling out from under the couch, holding the small turtle up high. "I can heal the world by saving turtles!" he declared proudly.

Riku chuckled. "Of course you can, Sora," he said fondly. "The odds are against you, but as always, you can beat it."

"What a thriller," Roxas said listlessly.

Sora grinned.

"My goodness, my tacos are about to catch fire!" Xion exclaimed from the kitchen (she lived with Riku). "Someone better catch my pet turtle quickly!"

"Yes, ma'am!" yelled Sora exuberantly, hop-skipping into the kitchen to find the turtle.

"You are not alone," sobbed Riku. "You are not alone in your turtle-saving needs!"

Roxas stared at him in a mixture of shock and pity. "You really wanted to tell him that, huh?" he asked, vaguely sympathetic.

"Y-yes." Riku sniffed. "But then he'd call me a sissy and OH MY GOD, ROXAS, LOOK OUT!"

Roxas dived for the floor just in time: The marching band of pink elephants burst into the room by breaking down the wall. Tears leaked from Riku's eyes as he thought about the cost of repairs. Roxas stared, stunned.

"You smooth criminal!" screamed Xion, waving a spatula as she ran into the room. "You can't win against me!"

"LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOONE!" cried out the lead elephant, coming to its knees and consequentially making the entire house shake. Stupid fat elephant. "WHYYYYYYY! I JUST WANTED SOME JAM!"

Xion blinked. "Oh." She frowned. "Well, why didn't you say so in the first place? Hold on a sec, I'll get it."

She hurried out of the room and came back with a jar of jam. "Here you go," she said kindly, handing it to the pink elephant.

"Th-thanks," the elephant said, and it, along with the rest of the elephants, left.

"XION! RIKU!" came Sora's voice. "GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER! THE TACOS ARE ON FIRE!"

"NO!" Riku flew into the kitchen, practically crying. "NOT MY TACOS!"

"Somebody's watching me," Roxas hissed, tugging at the bottom of Xion's pants. "Help me, Xion. Shield me."

"Hey, Roxas..." Xion looked sad as she ignored him. "The way you make me feel... I just can't stop loving you."

Roxas grimaced. "We've gone over this, Xion... You have to find someone else."

"You rock my world," murmured Riku as he entered the room, holding a plate of burnt tacos. He gazed lovingly at them. "You rock my world."

"... Okay..."