A/N: My view on the rules. Most are created by me but a few are from the show. The usual, I don't own NCIS, wish I did, would do different things. Tell me what you think.

Chapter One:

Leroy Jethro Gibbs

1a. Never screw over your partner.

1b. Never let suspects stay together.

2. Always where gloves at a crime scene.

3a. Never be unreachable.

3b. Never believe what you're told. Always double check.

4a. Best way to keep a secret, keep it to yourself. Second best way, tell one other person if you must. There is no third-best.

5. Never work the system when you can work the people

6. Never lie to Gibbs, he will always know

7. Always be specific when you lie

8. Never take anything for granted

9. Never go anywhere without a knife

10. Always keep a spare

11. When the job is done, walk away

12. Never date a co-worker

13. Never involve lawyers

14. Never share personal information

15. Always work as a team

16. Expect hang-ups frequently

17. Always have a conference room available

18. It's better to seek forgiveness than ask permission

19a. When given a Gibbs stare, don't say something stupid.

19b. When given a Gibbs slap, take it.

20. Don't try to explain the process. Get to the bottom line,

21. Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness.

22. Never ever interrupt Gibbs during an interrogation

23a. Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live

23b. Never put anything but coffee in coffee.

24. Never underestimate your opponent.

25. Never imitate or make fun of Gibbs.

26. Be prepared for anything.

27. Never bring food to a stakeout.

28. Never underestimate Gibbs gut.

29. Expect no please with demands.

30. Always have a spare of clothes at work.

31. Never interrupt Gibbs when he is in the basement.

32a. Expect Gibbs driving as normal.

32b. Be ready for quiet car rides.

33. Gibbs is not dead. He has the ability to charm women.

34. Bickering results in Gibbs slaps.

35. Simplify as much as possible.

36. There is no room for play when there is work.

37. Don't let down your team.

38. Your case, your lead.

39. No such thing as coincidences.

40. Expect Gibbs to watch you at all times.

41. Don't become a road block in Gibbs way.

42. Try to piss off other agencies.

43. Expect no smile from Gibbs.

44a. There is no good side of Gibbs.

44b. There is no favorite, unless your name is Abby Sciuto.

There you go. Hope you like it. Stare at the screen. I am making you push the green button.