Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor do I make any sort of profit from this story. I do however, own this story line. Thank you for project team beta for editing this particular piece. This story is rated M for a reason, it has very mature adult themes. There is cutting and sexual content, if that is not your cup of tea I respectfully ask that you simply do not read. For those who have a slightly twisted mind and want something new and quick...Childhood Obsession is for you. Enjoy!

I had been friends with him for years, ever since the sixth grade when my parents moved to this tiny, desolate town. Truth be told he really was the only good thing in I found here. He didn't know that I thought about him day after day, that I'd watched him for the past seven years, swimming in his pool, leaving for school, dressing in his room, constantly.

He was no longer the lanky boy I went fishing with each summer. He was no longer the boy who I played baseball with. No. He now was a muscular sculpted God. His emerald green eyes sparkled with a new maturity. His brilliant, crooked smile no longer had braces. His formerly short hair was now long and wild, highlighted in different shades of blond, gold, and brown. The greatest change of all was that now, as I watched him pull into his driveway, he was followed by her.

I had seen him leave with her earlier. I loathed her. She was beautiful, smart, popular, and everything I wasn't. She took him from me when we started high school four years ago. I remembered that day so clearly, one day we were riding the bus together, laughing, talking, and making plans. The next day she was there with her brother, picking him up for school. He didn't give me a second glance as I watched them from the corner bus stop.

I hid behind the curtain, peeking out as he held her hand. They both laughed as he welcomed her into his house, and I watched their silhouettes as they were greeted by his parents. The both hugged her. I had never received a hand shake. I saw the two of them heading toward his bedroom, and I quickly ran to upstairs to my own.

I kept my light off, locking the door behind me, and retrieved the binoculars hidden in my dresser. Quickly, I peered out my window, which was directly across from his, and watched as he turned on the light and closed the door.

I knew they were going to have sex. For the past three days they had barely kissed, meaning she was on her period.

I pressed the binoculars to my eyes, focusing on his perfect, pale pink lips. The sight of him aroused me and made me wet, yearning to feel him.

He held her close and kissed her passionately, delicately wrapping her in his strong arms. I remembered what that was like, being kissed by him and feeling his hands around my waist. I could still feel his tongue in my mouth, and taste his spearmint gum.

I put the binoculars down, never taking my eyes off of the two of them. I unbuttoned my jeans and allowed them to slide down my freshly shaven legs. I'd planned for this. I removed my cotton panties, running my hand over my smooth mound, and felt the wetness that was already forming between my legs. I wanted him so badly it hurt.

I quickly went to my bed and dropped to my knees. I fumbled for the small pocket knife hidden between my box spring and mattress, and placed it on the window sill. Then I went to my closet, retrieving the camera hidden in an old shoe box. Alongside the camera were all the pictures of him that I'd taken in the past five years. There were so many I would soon need a new box.

I placed the binoculars back up to my eyes. In the few seconds it took me to get my things I lost sight of the two of them. I looked around his room frantically. "The bed," I thought to myself. I stood at just the right angle to see the refection of his bed in the mirror. They weren't there.

My camera fell to the floor as I bumped the window sill with the binoculars. "Fuck! Where are they? I know they're there! It's okay. Calm down. Breathe. That's it."I calmed myself and removed my shirt, running my hands over my body. My bare breasts felt cold as I twisted my nipples hard. It sent tingles straight through my body, resting in a tight ball of energy in between my legs. My fingertips trailed down my stomach to my clit. I flicked it softly, but nothing more. I had to wait.

My self restraint was rewarded when I lifted the binoculars again. I saw the lovers framed in the center of my window; both of them naked. Her tiny, perfect figure sent rage coursing through my veins. Her perfectly shaped ass, her dark perfect hair, even the tiny mole on her shoulder seemed perfectly placed.

I pretended to be her as he traced his hands over her back, pulling her in closer, and ran his tongue along the side of her neck. My imagination let me feel his tongue on my own skin. He broke the kiss and smiled wickedly at her. She shook her head, 'no.' He mouthed some words to her, shaking his head, 'yes.'

She didn't like giving blow jobs. On the rare occasion she let him cum in her mouth she always spit it out. Usually he pulled out and finished himself off.

I would swallow him, feeling his cum inside my stomach for days.

Reluctantly, she gave in. I watched as she kissed his tan, chiseled chest. He threw his head back in pleasure, and victory, resting his hand on the top of her head as she made her way down his stomach. I couldn't see past his waist.

I flew over to my desk chair, placing it in front of the window, and stood on it. I watched as he entered her mouth. I swear our eyes briefly met as he looked down at her and winked at me.

I sat on the back of the chair and opened my legs. I let my free hand run down between them, touching myself with my middle finger. I circled slowly, matching her rhythm as she sucked his dick. I wished I could see all of him, but her head still blocked my view.

Whenever I got the gift of seeing his cock, which was rare, I took a picture. I spent so many nights masturbating to his pictures. Some were of him naked with her. Some were of him in a towel still wet from the shower. My favorite was one of him laying on a deck chair. He smiled radiantly with his hand inside his swimming trunks, jerking off, and tanning in the sun. Originally she had been standing before him in a tiny bikini, giving him a strip tease, but I cropped her out.

I focused on his face. The binoculars were starting to get heavy but I didn't care. His face muscles relaxed as he enjoyed her mouth on him, eyes closed, and biting his bottom lip. I bit my bottom lip too, mimicking his actions. I dipped one finger inside myself and softly moaned the way I thought he was moaning.

I wanted more. I needed something else, something that was not my hand, something that would feel more like he would feel inside me. I searched my room quickly. Everything seemed too small. Neither the folded pocket knife nor the pens at my desk would do anything. I needed girth, something to stretch me. I wanted something that would hurt.

I jumped off the chair and ran over to my desk. I opened the bottom drawer and found my large curling iron. At least it would be used for something now. I returned to the back of the chair and sat with my legs spread open, lifting the binoculars again.

He took a step back and she stood up. She was a full foot shorter than him. I was better suited to fit; I was only four inches shorter. He reached around her, running his long fingers over the small of her back, and cupped her ass. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and dipped her head down as they began kissing.

It was happening now, right there, in perfect view.

He lifted her slightly as he brought her body down onto his, and I watched as she tilted her head back in pleasure. I slid the curling iron inside me. This was the first time I'd used it in this way. I wanted to feel pain so I forced it in without any hesitation. It hurt. I loved it. With pain always came pleasure.

He moved sideways allowing me to see more of him. I pumped the curling iron inside me faster, using the same vigor he used as he plunged into her.

I sat down the binoculars. I needed both of my hands so I would have to watch with just my weak eyes. Sliding my other hand between my legs, I circled my clit with my fingers, feeling the muscles of my stomach tense. I was close but I had to hold out for him. I had to cum with him.

With her still wrapped around waist, he turned his back on me and walked to the dresser. I picked up my camera, zooming in on his figure, and clicked the button rapidly.

I watched as his ass muscles flexed with each pump, and I watched her tiny feet rest on his shoulders. He was getting close. I could tell by his stance. He always spread his legs about two inches farther apart, and bent his knees so that they wouldn't buckle under the force of his orgasm.

I sat on the chair, lifting my legs on the window sill so I was positioned in my chair more like she was as he fucked her on the dresser. The uncomfortable wood under my ass was just like his dresser under hers.

I couldn't see as well but his ass was still in view. I worked the curling iron again with more energy, lifting my hips slightly as my fingers applied pressure on my clit. "Almost there…Yes…Almost…Not yet…Oh…Oh…Now! Yes! Now!" The tingles ripped through my stomach and down to my toes but I didn't stop pumping the curling iron inside me. I wouldn't stop until he did. I knew I wouldn't have to wait long.

I watched as his head slumped down. Then, with one last thrust, he looked up to the sky, as though he were thanking God for his release.

We came together. We would never cum as one.

I picked up the small pocket knife I'd retrieved earlier and I flipped open the blade. I pressed the cold steel into my thigh. "You were bad. You shouldn't watch them. God would not approve of this behavior. You must be punished."

The sting of the sharp edge as it cut my skin felt oddly wonderful. Warm blood ran down my leg, leaving a small puddle on the chair. I repeated the abuse again, feeling the blade force its way through my skin a second time. I bit my lip, letting out a small yelp. It hurt so good.

I continued to watch him. He would always hand her the towel that he kept in his bottom drawer, she'd clean her self, and they'd kiss. Tonight wasn't any different.

Afterward, he walked over to the window, and looked out. His hair was disheveled, and his face was red. He smiled before he drew his curtains closed, shutting me out.

I cleaned up the blood on the chair, returned my camera to the shoe box in the closet, cleaned off the knife, and placed it back under my mattress. I did the same with the binoculars, hiding them in my dresser once again, and, after cleaning the curling iron, I placed it back in its proper place too.

In the bathroom I wrapped both of my legs in gauze. I was covered in scars from years of watching him and cutting myself. Some were fading, but as time progressed the amount of sex he had with her increased. Most of my scars were from the past two years.

I cleaned the small amount of pinkish fluid that seeped out from my vagina, and then dressed myself in loose fitting lounge pants and the shirt I had been wearing, before going down stairs. I stared into their living room window from my dining room. His family was saying their goodbyes to her. I quickly ran to the front door, waiting for him to walk her to her car.

My heart began to beat faster when I heard him open the front door. He was laughing at something. I was not privileged enough to make him laugh anymore.

"I can't believe they don't know what just happened." She giggled, and grabbed his hand.

"We're just that good," he said as they walked down the three stairs to the side walk that led to his driveway.

"I love you, you know that?" She leaned her head into his arm and he kissed the top of her head.

"I love you too," his velvet voice echoed in my mind.

He loved her? HER!

My heart began to beat erratically as my vision turned red. Bile burned in my throat and I dug my nails into my arm, willing them to cut through every layer of my skin. He couldn't love her. He was supposed to love me. I was here first! Tears stung my eyes and I forced them back.

They didn't say anything else. I shot several quick glances in their direction but turned away in fear of being caught, inwardly cheering when I heard her shut her car door and back out of the driveway.

Now was my time. I walked out into my front yard. The warm night air engulfed me as I saw him walking back toward his house. I placed a fake smile on my face in order to appear cheerful.

"Hey, Edward," I said with perfectly practiced enthusiasm.

"Oh. Um, Angela, hey," he said running his fingers through his hair "'Night."

He walked into his house, leaving me alone once again, fixated on my childhood obsession.

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