Warnings: Incest, voyeurism, foot fetishism.
Author's Note: Plot bunny jumped on my face early this morning. At least partly inspired by marguerite_26's Adrenaline Chasers at hp_sas on livejournal which I read late last night.
"James! It's nearly tea time! Mummy said no cookies before tea!"
"You want one?"
"Mummy will be cross."
"What does dare mean?"
"It means if you don't do it then you are a scaredy cat."
"You dare me?"
"I dare you to eat a cookie, Albus."
"Give me a chocolate one."
"You like Daddy's broom, James?"
"Did you touch it? We're not allowed to touch the new broom."
"You did. I saw you. You want to ride it."
"It's lovely, Albus. Look at it."
"You've got your own broom."
"That's only a toy. This is a Strat 330. It's the best there is."
"You want to ride it."
"I dare you."
"Dad'll kill me."
"I dare you, James."
"The Prefects keep hammers up the sleeves of their robes and they hit First Years with them!"
"I don't believe you! Daddy said -"
"He just wants to get rid of you! He'd tell you anything to make you go!"
"Shut up, James!"
"The Sorting Hat can read your mind."
"It will know all the bad things you've ever done, Albus. And the bad children get put in Slytherin."
"Shut up, James! Leave me alone! Go and sit with all your Gryffindor friends. I was in this carriage first!"
"Albus Severus Slytherin! Albus Severus Slytherin! Albus Severus Slytherin!"
"Stop singing! That's a stupid song!"
"The hat will know that it's your fault I broke my arm and it'll know you lied to Dad about it!"
"You didn't have to fly his new broom into a tree!"
"You dared me and then you lied about it and now you're going to be in Slytherin."
"No, I'm not!"
"That's where the sneaky liars go!"
"Well, you know what, James Potter, I don't care if I am there. In fact, I hope I am. That way I can get away from you!"
"Yeah? Why don't you tell the Sorting Hat that then?"
"It'll ask you, or if it doesn't then just tell it. Say you want to be a slimy snake! I dare you!"
"Did you do it then?"
"Go back to your own table, James Potter."
"Did you ask the Sorting Hat to put you in Slytherin? Is that why it did it?"
"Of course I did. You dared me. And it's not so bad. Dad said the Severus in my name was in Slytherin and he was a Headmaster and he was the bravest man Dad ever knew."
"I've got Quidditch trials tonight, wish me luck."
"No, James. You're a Gryffindor. I can't wish you luck. Now go back to your own table."
"Gryffindors can't throw,
Gryffindors can't catch,
Gryffindors can't fly,
We're going to win this match!
Their Chasers are all lesbians,
Their Seeker is Blind James,
Their Beaters like to ballet dance,
They're going down in flames!"
"Fuck you Albus!"
"You awake, James?"
"Does it hurt?"
"You've spent more time in the hospital wing than out of it this year."
"Thanks for coming to see me again."
"You're not going to play next week, are you?"
"I have to. It's important. We have to win."
"Have to? You're the only one who can play, the Beaters target you every time."
"I broke my pelvis, Al."
"It hurts. I have to play. If we lose this one then we come last."
"You don't have to play."
"I've had enough of the all the pain. Albus, I could use a hug. Don't tell anyone."
"I won't. There. That better?"
"Yeah. I wish I could sit the next match out."
"I dare you."
"I dare you to miss the next match."
"If we lose it then we come last. And Slytherin win the Cup."
"I dare you."
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing. Go away."
"James? Freddy? Why are you sitting here?"
"You're too young to understand. Go away baby Al."
"I'm not! Tell him James!"
"Look, I'll tell you all about it later, Albus. Just run along now, eh?"
"Why are you sitting out here? Why are you giggling? What's in the Summer House?"
"Go away, kid!"
"He's all right, Freddy. Go on, tell him."
"You tell him, then, Jimmy boy."
"The girls are in there, Albus. They're trying on bridesmaids dresses. They keep stripping down to their knickers. Lucy's got huge bazoomas! If you look through that crack there, where Fred is, you can see everything."
"Is Dominique in there?"
"Sure she is! You want to see her in her knickers?"
"Yes you do!"
"You are going to be in so much trouble!"
"Only if we get caught, eh Freddy boy?"
"Only if we get caught. Or if the kid dobs us in."
"Al won't say anything. Will you, Al?"
"No. But you should stop."
"Have a look, Albus. It's brilliant."
"It's wrong. They're our cousins. Isn't that incest or something?"
"It's just looking. There's nothing wrong with looking. Go on. Freddy, get your head out of the way and let my brother see the boobies."
"I don't want to look."
"I dare you."
"What do you think you're doing in here? I was having a shower!"
"Nothing. Just looking."
"Albus! I've got no clothes on!"
"There's nothing wrong with looking. That's what you said."
"But I'm a boy. I'm your brother."
"I like looking at you, James. You look good naked."
"Sick Slytherin wanker."
"You look at me, too. I've seen you."
"No you haven't! I mean, I don't!"
"You know you do. You check out my arse, James Sirius Potter. I've seen you. And not just that. You like my arms, and my chest. And you've got a weird thing for my feet."
"That's a lie. Now fuck off and let me get dressed. Pervert."
"Do you want to touch my feet?"
"Don't be strange."
"I'm taking my slippers off. I'll let you touch, James. I'll let you lick and suck if you want to."
"I don't want to."
"I dare you."
"What are you doing down here, James?"
"I'm a Prefect. I can go where I like."
"But why do you want to come down to the dungeons?"
"Should I get a hammer, do you think, Albus? Do you remember?"
"To hit First Years with? Merlin, you were such a bastard, James."
"Still am. I probably belong down here. You should be the Gryffindor, Albus."
"I keep thinking about your feet, Al."
"Not just your feet."
"I'm a boy, remember. I'm your brother."
"Is there somewhere private we can go down here?"
"I want ... I want to ... Keep thinking about ... I dare you to kiss me."
"What if we get caught?"
"We'll make sure we don't, James."
"I should go."
"To have a lonely wank in your tower? That's just silly, James, when I'm offering to do it for you."
"This isn't just kissing, Albus. This is serious. Let me go."
"No. Not when you're so hard for me. I'm sick of just kissing, James. Let me touch you. I want you to touch me. I'm so hard for you, James."
"We're going to get caught."
"I dare you to touch me, James."
"Happy Christmas, Albus!"
"Socks? James, you shouldn't have!"
"Let's see how they look on you."
"You want me to take off my boots? To undo all these laces, just so you can see me change my socks?"
"It's traditional. He has to wear his present, doesn't he, Mum?"
"Go on, Albus. It won't take long."
"Ok, Mum. Give me a hand unlacing my boots, James?"
"She's chatting you up, James."
"So? Is that my fault?"
"You should go for it."
"You should get off with her. People are getting suspicious, us sharing a flat, neither of us with a girlfriend."
"You get off with her, then."
"It's you she fancies. Can't blame her."
"I don't want her, Albus. I only want you."
"You don't have to shag her."
"I don't have to do anything with her."
"Just snog her a bit. Make sure plenty of people see you."
"I dare you!"
"No. I'm not a kid. I'm not going to do stuff just 'cos you dare me. Not any more."
"If we get caught, they'll stop us. They'll separate us. I don't want to live without you. Now get over there and get off with her. Buy us some time. Stop people wondering."
"I don't want to, Albus."
"Do you love me?"
"Do it because you love me, then."