DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, but I do own the original characters introduced in this story and my other stories (except where stated otherwise here or elsewhere by myself). The exceptions are Oruki and Naru, Haruhi's parents, who JonBob0008 has given permission for use of. Oh, and if I forget to put that bit on any later chapters by mistake, please don't shoot me!
A/N: Cheers again go to Crazyeight for beta-reading. Oh, and the reason you would have got three story alerts for this is because for some reason the first and second times around the story was for some reason inaccessible. Not too sure what was going on there to be honest.
If there's anything I've learnt in this past year, it's that time is an excellent anaesthetic. Sure, my knees still ache at even the thought of the mountain I have to climb to reach the school, but I like to think I have a great deal more to look forward to there than most people do.
Even sitting in the club room, sipping one of Miss Asahina's fantastic cups of tea with little else going on, leaves me eager. Those are the best days, even if time does seem to drag on when nothing is happening.
Of course, with the self-proclaimed omnipotent chief of the SOS Brigade, Haruhi Suzumiya, a day of nothing is rare.
Sure, I will probably be the one to end up doing the hard work and cleaning up the mess, but compared to Taniguchi and his endless hopelessness, I like to think that I have an interesting life. Maybe I'm even happy, although my being so would probably leave any sane person baffled. Thankfully, I don't meet many of them.
In fact, I barely meet many sane people. The people I spend almost every day with are an alien, a time traveller and an Esper. Oh, and one person in particular who is either a god, the potential for auto-evolution, a time anomaly, or, most likely, all of the above.
Don't look at me like that. I gave up sanity an age ago. You should try it. It's more interesting.
Nonetheless, in spite of all the fun experiences I have had in the past year, I still go into them with a sense of alarm. Maybe it's because I'm foreseeing the end of the world, perpetual torture or painful tragedies.
But, more likely, it's because of that smile I see almost every day, that smile which you know just spells doom, and the one currently beaming across at me from the seat by the window.
"Kyon – I've had a brilliant idea."
Here goes nothing.
THE CURIOSITY OF HARUHI SUZUMIYA I
By Blazing Chaos
I hope you're still keeping up, because I'm not going over everything again. I'm sure you can simply wait until the mental asylum publishes a book on my life.
As it turned out, Haruhi's idea was one of the rather smaller ones. That doesn't mean it wasn't a problem though, or, indeed, all that small – just, it wasn't as small as looping two weeks of summer endlessly or nearly giving everyone on Earth supernatural powers. At least we could stay in the clubroom this time round – it's too cold and dark outside now that it's fall again.
For the first time in a decade, we, or rather, I, were to do something with the website, the access counter for which hadn't increased since the computer club had been checking to ensure we were using what was still technically their PC. My ideas of putting up a school 'help' board to make it marginally easier to post any supernatural experiences anyone had fallen on deaf ears, namely Haruhi's.
Oh well. If there's ever a supernatural problem, well, anywhere, we would inevitably run into it sooner rather than later.
What about Haruhi's brilliant idea? What was it?
"To improve the website."
"How exactly?" I asked her. Of course, I wasn't too surprised when she told me that…
"I haven't planned that far – we need to brainstorm ideas."
Hence she, or rather, her secretary, Mikuru, had written 'brilliant ideas' on the centre of the whiteboard. I'm still not sure where she got that from. By which I of course mean I'm still not sure which club she 'borrowed' that from.
"Edison didn't invent the television straight away; he needed to work at it."
In fact, Edison didn't invent the television at all.
"Stop dwelling on specifics."
Of course, with Haruhi, contributing to whatever ideas she is coming up with in any way never gets praise. Not if your name is…
"Kyon, suggest something."
What, so I'm meant to just come up with something out of nothing? Oh, and Kyon – that's my nickname. I don't think Haruhi even knows my real name. Heck, I'd be surprised if my parents know. Even Okabe, my home room tutor, calls me it on the class register.
"Didn't you hear what I just said?"
"Maybe you could suggest ideas of what encounters you are looking for?"
"That's brilliant Itsuki – 400 points!"
I have no idea what the points are for, other than that Itsuki always gets them and I want them. I have no idea why – this place drives you insane like that. And what happened to brainstorming anyway? Aren't we meant to suggest a bunch of ideas and then choose the best?
"Thank you, you're very generous."
What I had thought would be a nice simple task led instead to a very long evening at the clubroom, listening to Haruhi reel off an endless list of paranormal experiences over my shoulder which I diligently added to the computer. It was far from the relaxing cups of tea I was hoping for.
"And Sixth Sense-like experiences, and…"
In fact, Haruhi insisted on no tea, and when I eventually refused to work unless I got a cup, she made me drink it in five seconds. My throat is still sore.
"Haruhi, do you really think anyone will ever read all of this?"
And, what's more, why couldn't she just do it alone? Why did she have to waste both our lives with making this? She would've got it done faster if she just typed them all straight onto the website.
"If they are having a paranormal experience, they'll want to see if we cover it. When something like that happens, you forget everything else until you work out what's going on."
Apparently, Haruhi doesn't believe in people having anything better to do. Then again, if you saw Asahina playing chess with Itsuki (and losing) with Nagato reading as silently as ever, you would be certain she had found the right group of people for her beliefs.
So why was it always me who had to be doing these things? I have more of a life than anyone else here. Okay, I don't, but I would have one.
Itsuki glanced up, flashing his usual smile. Damn happy bastard. Why doesn't he ever offer to help?
"Hey Kyon, do you think that's everything?"
I'm sure as hell not checking.
"That's not the right attitude – print that list off and review it for homework."
Speaking of which, I have a mountain of homework. She does too, in fact. So why does she always get it in on time and perfect while mine is late, messy and wrong? Whatever stat points she has, I want some of them.
"There'll be a test."
Anyone else would be joking.
"Why would anyone joke about such a serious matter? We have to defend the future of the club."
"Show me the whole page now."
I sighed, scrolling up through the huge list. You know what I said just now about enjoying my life because it's interesting? Yeah, I was lying. Blame it on tiredness. Just like I will be tomorrow if I don't get home sometime soon and start my homework!
"Aw…it's still really dull. Kyon, your work didn't change anything – that's not good enough."
I did exactly what you told me to do!
"I wanted Web 2.0. We need interaction – the dot com bubble is over!"
I suggested that three hours ago with my message board idea.
"No you didn't."
"Hey Koizumi, did I or didn't I suggest a board like that?"
"I'm afraid I don't remember that at all."
"But…it's on the board, right?"
"I don't see it – don't lie Kyon."
It's not my fault you completely ignored my idea and didn't write it.
"Are you calling Mikuru a bad secretary?"
Why do I feel I'm just going in endless circles here? Not again…
"Kyon, do you mind?"
Another Itsuki talk. These always leave my self-esteem, sense of scale and hope for humanity in tatters. This time, he pulled me out and a fair way down the corridor out of earshot of Haruhi, the same girl who glared at me endlessly on the way out and said I better not be slacking off. Just what does she want? I did everything she asked for.
"Miss Suzumiya wants something to happen.
"No surprise there then."
Itsuki smiled again. I thought it would grow on me, but it just reminds me of how much he follows every word Haruhi says without question, for fear offending her could mean his Organisation would be wiped from the face of the Earth.
"Yes, but I'm sure you've noticed the last few weeks have been particularly quiet."
Best few weeks of my life.
"The nights are drawing in so there's less to do in the evenings – surely she understands that?"
It was already twilight outside, and getting darker every time I looked out. This time of year was so depressing.
"True, and I don't believe that Suzumiya would intentionally want anything in particular to happen."
The same way she did last year, you mean? When the summer continued way past the athletics games and a long way into the fall?
"But I think it's worth us being on our guard, and encouraging her when she comes up with good ideas like this."
How about you just say that you don't want me to always complain when she suggests stupid ideas? In fact, this one was your idea.
"My apologies – I simply wish to ensure Suzumiya stays content. Don't you agree?"
Yeah, but I hate doing so.
Oddly, when we returned, Haruhi seemed pretty angry at us. And when I say us, I mean me.
"What were you talking about?"
And now the daily ritual of excuses. "None of your business." Scratch that, I wasn't in the mood for making up anything for Haruhi's sake right now. I just want to go home, do my homework and go to bed.
Let's be honest, I want to go home and go to bed. It's been a long day though – haven't you had one too? You were the one narrating all the paranormal experiences.
Haruhi snorted. "That's no way to talk to your brigade chief. Apologise."
I was about to retort, before I caught the slightest nod and gesture from Itsuki, safely behind Haruhi and escaping the endless inquisition.
"And now tell me what you talked about. Information is crucial to the success of this operation."
Obviously, Haruhi didn't know, but she had actually stumbled across the one thing she should have been investigating all that time. Naturally, I sure as hell wasn't going to risk telling her.
On anyone else that excuse would've worked. "You wouldn't be interested."
"You're hiding something."
Oh, you don't know the half of it. And the universe is glad.
"Don't be so suspicious."
"If we're going to find aliens, time travellers and Espers, we have to be suspicious of anyone and everyone. They could be right under our noses…"
You'd think I would be worried, wouldn't you? Haruhi's suspicious eye movements would've unnerved anyone else, and certainly made Asahina squirm slightly. But, of course, I know that Haruhi wouldn't believe us even if we did tell her. In fact, I did, and she didn't believe me. Of course, she might believe Itsuki, but I knew he would never tell. So, as long as the three of them kept their powers hidden, we would be perfectly safe.
"Right, that's it for today."
"Kyon, stay here and learn that list."
Like hell I will.
"Or there'll be a penalty."
I'm not sure which is worse, the elusive concept of Haruhi's death penalty threat, or the endless drain on my wallet of buying lunch for everyone.
"Come on Mikuru, time to change you!"
Acting on highly-trained instincts, I was outside the clubroom before I could even know what I was doing, Itsuki already next to me and Nagato a mile away along the hallway, book held in hand. I wanted to say bye to her, but I had learnt it wasn't a big loss if I didn't. She never replied.
Waving to Itsuki, I began to follow Yuki down the hallway.
"Aren't you staying?"
"I'm not going to stay just to learn some silly list."
Itsuki nodded. "Don't forget what we talked about."
I remember. I'm just ignoring it.
"So she's mad for a moment. She wouldn't end the world over me."
Itsuki smiled again. God I hate that. "I see. Have a nice evening."
I wanted to make a proud exit, fresh from escaping Haruhi's clutches, but instead I scurried away like the coward I am. She'll have forgotten about it all by the morning. Anyhow, Itsuki can't deny this all made this evening pretty interesting.
Besides, if he really wanted to satisfy her endless desire for the supernatural, he could've just got his buddies at the Organisation to set up something in a flash.
Unfortunately, my jacket did nothing to make up for the bitter cold evening on the way home. I normally enjoy my walks home since they're downhill, but when the weather's like this it's not fun at all. By the time I reached home, I was like an icicle, something my little sister insisted on telling me when she ran up and hugged me.
"Mom said to reheat your dinner in the microwave."
After a not-so-satisfying dinner and a poor attempt at homework, I left the last two dozen questions and went to bed. When it comes to the choice between getting Okabe mad and getting Haruhi mad, I'd take my tutor any day. At least he can't end the world.
Then again, Haruhi ignores almost everything I say, so I shouldn't really be worried about anything like that.
It's what I didn't say that I should be worried about.
A/N: Heh, no clear sign of the plot yet but it's definitely in there, trust me. All will be revealed.
I'd like to say that this move into Haruhi fanfiction as well as Digimon should come as a surprise to my readers, but, of course, I know that such isn't the case. That is, if you've been paying any attention whatsoever to Dimensions lately.
Anyhow, hope this is up to my usual standard, and fits the style of the show well. I've got a lot of great (hopefully) ideas for this story which I drilled out in an evening of planning, and it will be a nice way to use my Haruhi-obsessing energies.
Until next time…