A/N: This is an outtake I could not get out of my head once ericastwilight got it stuck in there, and the only thing that was making it difficult to write was because of me trying not to laugh at the image of poor Armyward's face through this ordeal. But it was something that I just couldn't not write after Bella's mention of this in Chapter 20, so hope you enjoy reading this as much as I really enjoyed writing it.

Don't Ever Forget Outtake ~ Wait … what?!

My phone rang while I was eating and my brow furrowed as I pulled it from my pocket, looking down to see Bella's name on the screen.

The very first instinct I had was to worry—she never called me in the middle of the day, and had told me repeatedly that she wouldn't unless it was an emergency. Everything else could wait until I got home. She didn't want to be one of those wives that called their husbands a half dozen times a day while they were at work, for no reason or because she was bored. So yeah, I had a damn good reason to worry.

"Bella? What's wrong, baby?" I asked immediately after answering, my lunch instantly forgotten.

"Edward, I think I might be legitimately dying," Bella groaned softly and my eyebrows rose. "Either that or my uterus has seriously decided to revolt and is clawing its way out of my stomach."

God, I felt so bad for her. I knew from our discussion a couple of years before that Bella had really bad periods at times, and that was the only reason she was put on birth control at such a young age. However, I had never seen her in as much pain as she had been that morning. She couldn't even stand long enough to make a pot of coffee, and despite her protests, I had carried her over to the couch and grabbed a bowl of cereal, and then made sure she didn't need anything before I left for the day.

"I'm sorry, baby. What can I do?" I asked, willing to do anything I could to help her.

"That's why I'm calling. I know you probably just want to come straight home, but my doctor called in a prescription for the pain med I need. Can you stop by the pharmacy on your way and pick it up for me? You shouldn't need to show them id or anything, it's not a narcotic," she replied and I could hear the wince in her voice as she attempted to move in some way.

"Pharmacy. Got it. No problem. Anything else?" I asked, and a few seconds later, I really wished I hadn't.

"Yeah. I'm also out of tampons and running low on pads. Can you grab some for me?"

I could literally feel the blood drain from my face and I brought my hand to cover my eyes. It was every husband's worst nightmare—the "comfort level phase" had officially commenced.

Walking into the bathroom while I was shaving because she really needs to pee—no problem. Talking to me while doing so, I was still working on.

Bras and panties on drying racks in the middle of our living room or kitchen—it was only once a week, I could deal.

Even the scratching her ass while wearing my boxers because they were riding up—totally fine with it.

Stopping for feminine products at the PX … that was a whole different ballgame right there.

"I'm sorry, baby. You want me to what?" I asked, turning on the bench I was sitting on, as if anyone else could be privy to the conversation we were having.

"Please stop at the PX and grab me some tampons and pads. You know the kind I use," she replied calmly, as if she was asking me to take out the trash.

"Jesus, Bella," I whispered into the phone with widened eyes and quickly looked over my shoulder to really make sure that no one heard that.

"Edward," Bella growled through audibly clenched teeth. "I can't make it from the couch to the bathroom without bearing a striking resemblance to the Hunchback of Notre Dame, let alone drive, or else I would. So for the love of God, retract your balls from your throat and just do this for me. I won't even make it until morning. So please don't be an asshole."

With the rising volume of her voice as she spoke, I knew I was getting myself into serious trouble, and I'd need to swallow my pride and … purchase tampons.

"All right, honey. I'll be home as soon as I can after I get off work," I replied, closing my eyes and creasing my forehead in preparation for my next statement. "Anything else?"

"No, I think I've wounded your precious male ego enough for one day," she snapped and then, the line went dead.

Oh fuck. I'd be lucky if I wasn't sent to sleep in the barracks that night; the hell with the couch. I was an asshole. My wife was home in excruciating pain, and I was complaining about buying tampons?

It wasn't just the act of it that really got to me; it was the chance of being seen in the act. Our wives' "time of the month" was a somewhat taboo subject to begin with, aside from the fact that we always knew when it was "that time" for most of the guys. Particularly, the newlyweds like me, due to mood swings and "not getting any".

Wow, I was doing a lot of mental air-quoting. Were men really that bad? Guess we were.

After picking up her prescription, I made my way to accomplish the other task at hand—navigating the feminine product aisle. Bella was right, I did know exactly what brand and type she used for both, but I couldn't seem to emasculate myself by showing the whole PX that. I even went so far as holding my phone to my ear in a pretend call to my wife with a feigned look of confusion on my face, when I started getting the awed looks from the women and the sympathetic gazes and snickers from the other men, before grabbing the right ones quickly and practically running for the checkout.

I had barely reached the doors when it hit me, what a complete douchebag I really was. So I went to grab her a bag of those little peanut butter cup things she liked so much and stopped on the way home for take-out.

It was all totally worth it, even if the guys never let me live it down for as long as I lived, when I saw her face as I walked in with my hands full.

Bella smiled and then hid behind her hands and even began to cry a little. I set the bags on the coffee table and pulled her prescription out of my pocket to place it beside them, and knelt down beside the couch and running a hand over her hair. "Oh God, Edward. I feel like such a horrible bitch for yelling at you. You're a guy, it's only natural for you to be that way."

"I am making no comment," I replied, pressing my lips to her forehead and trying to restrain a completely inappropriate chuckle.

I pulled back to find her eyes narrowed at me. "Because it's only natural for me to be a bitch through this, right?"

"I did not say that," I said, shaking my head slowly.

"I know. And good choice," Bella answered, managing a small smile and pulling me closer to bring my lips to hers. "Thank you. You really are the best, you know that?"

"I try," I replied, lifting one stubborn curl from her forehead and smoothing it back.

"You do," she corrected me and kissed me firmly again.


The following day, I came home after a very long day of snickers and jabs from the guys about being whipped and other more expletive descriptions. I'd tried to ignore them and just brush it all off, but it really started grating on me by the time we were dismissed.

"Baby, I am forever going to be labeled as Pussy-Whipped Cullen. Do you have any idea how disturbing that term is normally?" I groaned as I removed my jacket and let it fall to the floor, collapsing onto the couch and draping my arm over my eyes.

"Okay, I'm ignoring the jacket for now," Bella replied, walking over to me and shifting my legs a little to get my boots off the couch, and then straddled my hips and lowered her lips to mine. "I bet you anything that they will change their tune once their wives and girlfriends get wind of it. Believe me, if I could, I'd be giving you a whole world of gratitude."

I uncovered my eyes and looked up at her, raising an eyebrow. "Oh really? You know, there's always other ways."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise. When I'm feeling just a tad bit sexier," she replied and kissed me again before rising up and holding her hand out for mine. "Come on, I've made ribs for dinner, and I even called your mom for the marinade recipe."

My mouth fell open and I may have even groaned a little, followed by a small gasp. She was amazing. She knew I wasn't a huge fan of barbeque sauce on my ribs as everyone else seemed to be, and my mother used to make this tangy sort of marinade just for mine. I never knew what it was and I'd always forgotten to ask, but Bella had remembered to. "God, I fucking love you. You know that?"

"Yeah, you may have convinced me by now," she teased, wrinkling her nose as I stood from the couch for another quick kiss. "Let's go, soldier. Your dinner is getting cold."

The next day, it was an entirely different story.

Apparently, Bella was right, and once the word got around to the other wives, I suddenly became husband of the year with balls of solid steel for doing what I did for Bella. The only exceptions were the few bitter guys who were made to go out and do the same thing for their women.

"Give it five to seven days, and you'll be their fucking hero," Bella had advised me and I found it difficult to believe her.

I really needed to start listening to my wife more often—though, don't tell her I said that.

As the week wore on, more and more of them were coming back to me with everything for a simple "thanks" to one guy's "oh dear sweet heaven". However, Bella was one of those women that it took forever for them to stop when they had one like that, and after four months of nearly daily sex, with the exception of four or five days here and there, I was quite literally in agony. Even when I took matters into my own hands, it wasn't the same. I missed my wife's touch and the feel of her body so much, I was aching for her.

After my shower one night, I stepped out of the bathroom to find the rest of the apartment dark and only soft, flickering light from beneath our bedroom door.

"Bella?" I called out, looking down the hall again. "Did we blow a breaker or something?"

"No, baby. Come in here," Bella replied, her soft voice carrying through the bedroom door and I crossed the hall, slowly opening the door and stilling in shock.

There were a few candles strewn across the room, just enough to give a gentle glow, and our bedding had been changed to a black satin set, with my beautiful wife in a brand new, navy blue negligee draped seductively over it.

"Um, did I fall asleep in the shower or something?" I asked, completely confused as to how she'd managed it all, but couldn't keep my eyes from running over the length of her body, either. The silky material lay over the skin of her legs until it parted just past mid-thigh, revealing her sexy, smooth calves. The lace around her breasts cupped them perfectly while the remainder of her chest remained exposed, and she was tracing along her skin with deep red fingernails.

Holy shit! Bella never does her nails, I thought and looked back down quickly to see that her toenails were done as well. Deny it as we may, but men love it when women do their hair, makeup and/or nails, which my wife had subtly done all three. It's a visible sign of an effort to be beautiful for us, even if it's definitely not needed, as was the case with my Bella.

Bella bit her lip and shook her head, rising to her knees and crawling toward the edge of the bed. "This is why I guided you straight to dinner tonight. And before you ask, the bedding was a wedding gift I hid away for a very special occasion. Now, get over here, handsome."

I gazed at her in surprise but made my way over to the bed, where she immediately divulged me of my towel. Then she held my eyes as she lowered the thin straps on her negligee, letting it slowly fall to the bed and revealing every inch of her beautiful, smooth skin to me. She'd put a lot of effort into that night.

"We won't be needing those," she added, sliding her arms around my neck and sealing her lips over mine.

We lowered to the bed together and I groaned, the feeling of her body beneath mine was unbelievably arousing, even after just ten days. "Not that I'm complaining, baby. Because I'm not. I'm really, really not. But what's the special occasion?"

"You. My wonderful, amazing, so damn close to perfect husband," Bella murmured, running her fingertips along my shoulders and then rolling me onto my back, smiling down at me. "And this gorgeous body has laid next to me neglected for way too long."

I closed my eyes as her hand made its way down my chest, and its path was followed by my lips, pressing firmly against my pec as her fingers encircled me. Each slow movement from her felt so fucking good and I fought the urge to lift my hips against her hand. God, did she ever know how to work my body.

"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Have I told you that lately?" Bella whispered, brushing her lips on my chin and repeating the action on my lips, but then suddenly, all touch from her left me.

"Hey. Then why'd you stop?" I asked, opening my eyes to look at her.

Bella chuckled, kissing me again and sweeping her fingertips over my eyelids to reclose them. "Just relax and enjoy it, baby."

I tried not to panic when I heard an unfamiliar pop, followed by a just as foreign click, but then my eyes nearly rolled back into my head. The slippery feel of her fingers was familiar, although definitely not from her hand; several months is a long time to go without sex while your girlfriend is thousands of miles away, and lubricant is about as close as a man can get to the real thing in those times. Although that came in a tube. Then I started feeling warm … really warm … and …

"Holy fuck, Bella!" I exclaimed, reaching up to grab the rails of our headboard and gripping them tightly.

If I didn't know better and hadn't felt her body pressed to my side and her leg draped over mine, I would've sworn I was inside her. Whatever was in that stuff, I seriously wished I'd known about it a year before.

"You like?" she asked, kissing along my jaw and I brought one of my hands to her hair.

All I could do was moan in response, the ability to speak momentarily rendered impossible. When Bella said she would make it up to me, she really meant it.

After a few minutes of feeling one of the most exquisite pleasures ever, it left me again, and I heard her giggle when I groaned, my hips thrusting upward. My fingers curled around her shoulder as I felt her begin to roll away and opened my eyes.

"Hey, get back here," I mumbled and she shook her head, wiping her hand on a towel.

"Don't worry, I'm not leaving you hanging," Bella replied, tossing the cloth aside and swinging her leg over me, her body gliding over mine. She kissed me gently and rolled her hips over me, her tongue flicking over my bottom lip. "I just can't wait another second to feel you inside me."

I felt myself glide into her, and the sensation was even more intense than before. Apparently, it was equally as amazing for her by the way she groaned and threw her head back, with her hands gripping tightly to my shoulders.

Bella began slow movements and my hands ran along her sides with each one. Our eyes finally met and the world was absolutely perfect. She was so damn beautiful and she was all mine—that knowledge still had yet to grow old. I'd always known what an extremely lucky man I was from the moment Bella told me she loved me, but somehow, every day just kept getting better with her.

"Oh God, Edward. So close. Shit," Bella breathed out in heavy pants, moving over me more quickly and her fingers tightening on my shoulders to support her trembling body.

As amazing as she felt that way, I took hold of her waist and rolled her onto her back, hitching her leg further up my side. She gasped when I thrust deep inside her again, arching her back and gripping the pillow beneath her head. A strangled cry left her as she clenched around me, sending me over right along with her.

My face buried into her hair; I couldn't move. "God, I love you. What was that?"

Bella chuckled and ran her hands along my back, kissing my shoulder. "A little something I picked up at the store while I was shopping today. I ran into Riley's wife there and she suggested it, saying it had really worked wonders for them after the baby. It was a little weird, since I hardly know her, but I'll have to thank her someday."

"Me, too. Damn," I panted, finally lifting my head to kiss her. "That definitely needs to come out to play more often."

Bella laughed against my lips, pressing her palm to my face. "Can't have us getting used to it. I'd like it to be that great every time we used it, don't you agree?"

"One more thing to be tucked away for special occasions?" I asked, rolling to lay beside her and pulling her snugly to my side.

"Yep. Like our anniversary," she replied and I lifted my head quickly to look at her with wide eyes; that was still nearly eight months away. She sighed and shook her head, but couldn't hold back the small laugh. "Kidding. You are way too easy to rile, baby."

The next morning, after a very long kiss goodbye from my wife, I made my way on post and spotted Riley immediately.

"Hey, buddy. How was your night?" he asked with a grin and a wink. Obviously, he'd talked to Emma the night before about Bella taking her advice.

"Warm. Very, very warm," I replied in a vague, conspiratorial tone.

"Amazing isn't it?" he added with a nudge to my elbow.

"Extremely. Tell Emma thanks," I answered, nodding and clearing my throat as we were called to attention.