Small Miracles

By THECURSOR

I own none of the characters please don't sue.

Authors note: This is set immediately after Carpe Noctem.

That was stupid Lilah, really stupid.

How could I have let that happen? I mean I knew he was just trying to mess with my head, so why did I let him?

I pour another drink and sit back on the couch slipping off my shoes.

He was right though; I did want to do that. I don't know when it happened. I went to bed one night and woke up head over heels in love with him. With Angel, that is. He threatens me, ruins my career at every chance he gets and I still want to kiss him. It isn't fair, I find the perfect man and he wants me dead.

He's so noble, so handsome, So god damn clueless.

I throw myself at him every time we meet and he doesn't notice me. How I'm always trying to help him out. But of course he can't see me, he can't see me because he's too busy looking at that little Valley Girl bimbo.

I remember what he said to me about how Cordelia was off limits, the way he sounded when he told me he'd kill me if I touched her. He really cares about her, I could tell.

And SHE doesn't notice HIM. God, that little slut has no idea what she's missing. If she had a brain left in her head it would have been her on the desk instead of me.

But it was me. At least if I'll always have that. The two of us, rolling around on that Limey's desk, like a pair of rabid animals. If he hadn't of bitten me…

No, best not to think about it anymore. I shouldn't think about the things I can't have.

I pour another drink.

Angel I love you.