'i dream of you in perfect colors / in memories of us i go to lose myself / and i want to have you here with me again'

Jasper tried to relax back into the soft ground beneath him with his eyes firmly shut. The vivid picture in his mind kept dancing behind his closed eyes as the blond tried to force his muscles to relax.

However, he still couldn't help the small hint of awareness that was so much part of him, there was just no way for him to shake it. He let the remaining air rush out of his lungs with a sigh and went back to focusing on the vibrant picture of that one person who managed to make his undead heart skip a beat time and time again.

The only one he couldn't have.

In an instant his muscles tensed again as he recalled the reason why, memories of a wedding he never wanted to have to witness flooding his mind. Edward, the frail girl in his arms, and God knew, for a moment he had wished the freakin' wolf would make an appearance and spoil the whole thing. And he was sure everyone else felt it as well, including Edward.

A soft sigh escaped his lips at the mental picture of the tall, lean frame, copper hair, muted gold eyes and the thin lips quirking into a suggestive smirk, revealing just the slightest hint of sharp fangs.

Jasper barely managed to bite back a low growl of frustration, arousal, anger, before forcing himself to relax again. Another moment played in his mind, probably about 50 years old, Edward smiling at him like he meant it, eyes sparkling with mischief and something Jasper now knew was not love. Infatuation, fascination, adoration, but never love. Never…

"Jazz, get up man!" This time Jasper didn't hold back on the deep growl ripping from his throat as the calm he had created for himself was infiltrated by giddiness and boundless, restless, energy, an exasperated sigh following suit. "No."

"Yes, c'mon… just a quick fight, you know you wa… whoa…" Emmett almost stumbled back when he was hit by a wall of emotions most definitely not his own. "Don't do that, you know I don't like it."

Jasper was on his feet in an instant, fingers closing around Emmett's throat as he pushed him up against the next best tree. "You don't like it? You don't like it? Do you have any idea what it's like to feel like that all the time? Do you?"

Emmett shook his head before easily freeing himself of Jasper's grip, his fingers closing around the blond's wrists. "No… Jazz, I'm sorry, I didn't realize…"

"Damn right, none of you fools realizes! Everyone's just happy for them and I… it's wrong. I just want him back. He's not supposed to be with her." Emmett almost recoiled at the harshness of Jasper's voice.

"You need to get over that, Jazz, for real. It's not going to happen, man, and you need to stop drifting into this dream world." Jasper glared at him. "Don't look at me like that, I'm serious! Stop living in memories! You should stop giving yourself up."

"Why don't you just keep out of my business?"

"Well…" Emmett was silenced by the hard stare of Jasper's pitch black eyes. He watched as he blond gracefully laid back down onto the soft grass, eyes sliding close again.

Jasper couldn't help a sigh as he tried to restore the calm he had so carefully created before, channeling the mental image he kept wanting to see. Tall, lean frame, copper hair, muted gold eyes and thin lips quirked into a suggestive smirk, revealing just the slightest hi…

"So that fight? Maybe later?"

Jasper's usually smooth voice was heavily lined with anger and annoyance as he sprang to his feet again.

"You just don't give up, do you?"

Emmett offered him a smile, accompanied by a punch to Jasper's shoulder. "Hey, you're my brother, I'd never give up on you. You just need to stop giving up on yourself. Forget about everything that happened, move on."

Jasper remained silent, his eyes burning into Emmett's until he eventually looked away first, blond hair falling into his eyes.

"Maybe you're right." Before he knew it, Emmett encompassed him in a bear hug that would have crushed his bones had he been human.

What Emmett didn't need to know was that he still would be lying on his back out in the dark in the silent of the night, memory after memory replaying in his mind until he couldn't stand it anymore. He would move on, Jasper decided.

Not just now.