Hit Me Where It Hurts The Most
I sighed in annoyance and went to answer the door, assuming it was my landlord telling me to quiet down. I quickly threw on a pair of shorts and a sports bra before going to get the door as the banging persisted.
"See what you do Eric? Now I'm about the get yelled at by my... Who the hell are you?" I started and then soon caught off when I opened the door to a tall blonde woman in a pink tracksuit.
"Scarlet, this is Pam, my associate. Now invite her in." Eric commanded with a condescending smirk audible in his voice. The blonde in my doorway grew a smirk of her own and nodded.
"Yes, silly human, let the pretty vampire inside." Pam all but purred, giving me an up and down appraisal. I shivered at the unwanted attention. I already had one blonde vampire that wanted to eat me alive I didn't need another one.
"You know what? No, I'm not going to let this random vampire chick in my apartment. I've already got you barging in here whenever you want to now." I spat into the phone and threw a glare at the blonde in the doorway. She sighed in exasperation and rolled her eyes, which served to further piss me off.
"Scarlet, do as I say." Eric commanded also in a slightly exasperated tone, as if I was some child throwing another tantrum in the grocery store. The nerve of him! He was treating me like a bratty kid. I let out an angry breath in order to calm myself.
"You can't make me do shit, Eric. I'm not some little fang banger that you can control so you can shove all your demands up your ass." I replied angrily. I was sick of him acting like I was his own personal slave. If I didn't want some weird lesbian vampire in my damn house then she wasn't coming into my house. That was final!
Pam sighed again and muttered something in an odd language that made Eric grunt in amusement on the other side of the phone. I let out a small scream of angry and hung up on Eric. That'll show him to make fun of me. I was about to slam my door on vampire in my doorway also, then she spoke up.
"If you don't allow me entrance into your disgusting little hole I will take your sickly breather landlady and rip her throat out in front of you." Pam said in a bored tone as if it was a speech she had given many times before.
"Bullshit." I said, calling her bluff. "It would be doing me a favor if you killed my landlady. That wouldn't make me want to let you in anymore than I do now." I followed with a bluff of my own. To be honest, the thought of the blonde vampire even looking at poor Miss Winkman made me sick to my stomach. I hated the woman, don't get me wrong but, I surely didn't want her to vampire dinner.
"Listen cupcake, it is of no interest to me be able to come into this little place. I am under orders by Eric so; if I drained every single breather in this damn shithole I wouldn't bat an eye. If it's of no concern of yours either then I could just get started slaughtering this rednecks right now." She said, dropping her fangs down with a smirk.
"How do I know you won't just kill everyone once you've gotten whatever the hell you wanted out of my apartment?" I asked keeping my eyes locked on her fangs.
"You have my word, princess." She said with a sickly sweet smile.
We stared at each other for a tense minute before I sighed and shut my eyes tightly. When I opened my eyes and realized that she hadn't gone away just by the power of my imagination, I let my shoulders slump in defeat.
"Put your fangs away first blondy. I don't want you getting any ideas thinking that I'm some late night snack or something." I said suppressing a shiver at the thought.
"Trust me human, I've already thought about," she murmured looking at me hungrily. "But Eric's very selfish about his humans." She said with a roll of her eyes and retracting her fangs. For once I was grateful of Eric's possessive attitude.
"Come inside then, I guess." I sighed, giving her a weary look.
She waltzed in like she owned the place and immediately took a big whiff of my apartment. I gave her a questioning look, which she ignored and preceded to go around touching all of my things in my living room. Even though I was getting even more weirded out by her behavior, I wasn't about to let my guard down and let her have free reign of my house.
"Interesting." She murmured, looking around my living room.
"Look, why don't you just tell me why you're here and I'll help you out with whatever it is then you can go. Alright?" I said, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to look imposing.
Pam glanced up at me briefly and smirked slightly before scanning her eyes over my living room again. Then in a blink of my eyes she was gone. I jumped about a foot in the air and twisted around frantically looking for her. I knew she wouldn't have just left. I felt a rush of air go brush against my back, making me jump around quickly to find the blonde vampire at my doorway.
"I've seen everything I need to see. I'll show myself out." Pam grinned at my frightened expression, opening the door and leaving just as quickly as she came in.
I stared at the door for a few seconds, trying to comprehend what the hell had just happened. I shook my head and shut the door, leaning against the wood while letting out a puff of air. It was funny to think that just last week I had a relatively normal life. No sexy blonde Viking living in my head 24/7, no random lesbian vampires barging into my apartment and threating to eat all my neighbors and no extreme jealousy issues over guys with Sookie.
I sighed again, pushing off of the door. Where had my peaceful life gone? I wondered. Oh yeah, straight to hell when Eric Northman, Norse god of sex, showed up. Dear God, my life is a romantic comedy. I groaned loudly and rolled my eyes are the sheer truth of my thinking, wandering back into the solitude of my bedroom to lounge around and pretend I didn't have such a fucked up life because of some guy.
Instead of giving Eric the satisfaction of knowing that I had let him little vampire minion inside my apartment, I decided to call Sookie to apologize for my angry drunken rant. I knew she was would be worried about, especially if Eric had been using her phone to get in contact with me as I suspected he had done once or twice. I redialed my sister's number and was surprised that she actually answered quickly after knowing that she was "busy" with Bill.
"Scarlet? Are you all right? Do I need to come home?" Sookie's frantic voice rang quickly through the phone, startling me slightly.
"Uh, yeah. I'm fine, Sookie. You don't need to come home. Why would you think you needed to come home?" I laughed slightly at the thought.
"Why did Eric need my phone to call you?" She asked shrewdly instead.
Shit. I thought. This is where it gets tricky. Sookie wasn't supposed to know that Eric and I were talking, which left me with two options. Option A: fess up to my lie about deleting Eric's number and listen to her bitch at me about it and then bitch about my rudeness to her last night. Or Option B: make up anything lie that will somehow distract her from my rudeness last night and avoid a bitch fest all together. After a careful half a second deliberation time, option B won out in my mind. Hurray for being a liar!
"Oh, that was just Eric trying to me to talk to him. You know, because I deleted his number, just like you told me, and I didn't know who it was so I didn't think to answer it until I saw you called." I explained, emphasizing the fact that I had done what Sookie told me to do.
"So Eric, doesn't have you doing anything for you, does he?" Sookie continued her questioning.
"No, why would I …..?" I started in confusion.
Then it dawned on me that Sookie probably thought I was doing some secret vampire/human mission for Eric now. It would explain her questioning me like this was the Spanish Inquisition. That's would be all I needed is to hear Sookie lecture me about standing up to Eric and not being some little doormat that he can walk all over. Good thing that I actually did know how to stand of to Eric, at least a little bit.
"You think I'm some secret agent for Eric now!" I shouted.
"Well, he is very manipulative, Scar. I'm just trying to protect you after all." Sookie said, huffing in annoyance.
"I am not, nor will I ever be, doing anything for Eric, Sook. Ever." I added again firmly, more to reassure myself than Sookie.
"Alright, then. How are you feeling this morning? You sounded drunk as a skunk when I called and you started snapping at me." Sookie said, turning her attention to another topic that I was dreading.
"I feel like shit." I moaned, laying back into my bed.
"I would say that you should take some medicine but, I wouldn't want to be the helpful, caring sister or anything." She snapped. I groaned, scrubbing my hand over my face roughly.
"It's not the hangover, well the hangover's not the main reason I feel like shit. I'm sorry for being a bitch last night, Sookie. Something happened right before you called and I was just frustrated. I'm sorry I took it out on you. I love you, Mufasa." I said, honestly with a smile at the nickname I gave her as a kid after watching The Lion King. Sookie was always to good sibling like Mufasa. We laughed that I was the evil one, Scar.
"Oh Scar, you know I'll always forgive you and you know that I love you too. What all happened last night? Rough night at work?" She asked, instantly turning into big sister mode.
"Uh, yeah, rough night. It was something like that." I said, inwardly chuckling at the comment.
"Well, go ahead and tell me about it! You know I don't really approve of you making a total fool of yourself but, I do enjoy hearing about it." Sookie said excitedly.
I sighed inwardly. Hmm where to begin? I thought. Well I got wasted off my ass taking tequila shots with my boss. Then proceeded to throw myself at said boss only to hear that he really wanted you, Sook. Next I called you and pissed you off. After that I drunk texted Eric until he called me and said he wouldn't have phone sex. I got pissed and hung up on his because I'm a horny slut. Now I think Eric is actually kind of sweet sometimes when he's not a douche. Oh, and I've started smoking again. Yeah that would go over real well. I thought. She would probably collapse and go into cardiac arrest. Then I'd have another vampire at my door wanting to kill me. Awesome.
"Well, uh, I got drunk… and I kinda, sorta, actually made out with Sam Merlotte." I said awkwardly.
"YOU MADE OUT WITH SAM?" Sookie cried into the phone. I pulled away from the loud noise and began rubbing my aching head anew.
"Not so loud please." I whined. I could hear Sookie's obvious eye roll as she barreled ahead.
"I can't believe you made out with Sam. I knew you two had something going on! What was it like? Did you like it? You two would be so cute together!" She squealed into the phone making me groan and rub my temples.
"We do not have anything going on Sookie. It was a drunken kiss that's all. Besides, I don't think he was thinking about me anyway when we were together." I muttered that last part bitterly.
"What do you mean he wasn't thinking of you? How else would he be thinking of?" Sookie asked. I sighed. She was so fucking clueless sometimes that I felt like it was just an act. She knew that Sam still held a torch for her.
"He said 'Oh God, Sookie.'" I deadpanned. Silence filled the line as I let it sink in. Sookie had to know that Sam didn't like me for me. He liked me because I looked like Sookie. It stung all the same though when I said it out loud.
"Scarlet, I…I.. I don't know what to say. I didn't know-" Sookie started.
"It's fine." I cut in. "I'm over it. It was just some drunken thing that's all. That's why I was such a bitch to you last night. I was just pissed about everything. So don't worry about it." I said.
"Well I'm sorry anyway. You're my sister and I don't want to see you hurt. Do you want me to talk to Sam?" Sookie asked.
"Hell no. I'm a big girl Sook. I don't need my big sister telling boys to leave me alone." I chuckled.
She laughed as well and we soon drifted away from the topic of last night. She told me all about Texas again and I realized she carefully avoided talking about anything with what Eric had her doing in Texas actually. I was suspicious of course but I figured it was probably some top-secret vampire bullshit that I couldn't be informed of. Vamps like Eric would be elitist fucks to think that everything they did had to be kept secret.
Like anyone actually gave a fuck what Eric did.
Oh, wait. I kind of did.